Scorpio men-- is it common practice that they cheat?
PLEASE......go to the thread "Wondering about the holidays" and give some support to a woman in need. A few minutes of your time, but will mean so much.
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Hey Keldjoran I am so sorry for you. As I look back on this situation if I may be so forward as to give you my 2 cents--
If you and he are both single-- then I say have fun. Leave it all alone. If he calls he calls, if he hangs out he hangs out. I don't mean tolorate abuse like a door mat.
For example if he askes you to hang out I say go and have fun. If he stands you up then don't call and b*tch him out. Just ignor him. I think when he sees you don't flip out on him (I'm not saying that you have) him he will be confused. When he does finally call act nice. Don't bring it up. If he does just make a joke about it-- Like "Oh please waiting for you is like waiting for the Republicans to end global warming" (--wink-- I'm a Republican and proud of it-- BUT I'm a forward thinking republican that is -lol- I'm not about the money-- I'm about y fellow American and Human being).
If he wants to have s*x then I say do what you feel. If your in the mood then go for it! Kill him a bit though and when your done get up and say "wow! that was fun-- you are great-- but I gotta run I have an early day tomorrow" This I think will make him want you to stay.
I think these guys need the crave-- the want--- the desire. Give him what he wants. He wants perks-- give him perks-- only perks. If he wants love-- from you--- well, that's a bit more expensive. Make him want to pay. The cost? His love in return.
Pretend it's the game Monkey see Monkey do. You see him flirt with somebody-- you flirt with somebody-- just be better at it. He cancels plans--- you go out-- without him-- and have a great time. He does not call--- you don't call. Just remember to ALWAYS do it with a smile, be light, breezy and fun. It's NOT REVENGE-- it's a game Monkey see Monkey do-- keep it fun (even though It kills your heart).
What do you think?
Hey Keldjoran I just talked to my friend -- who I just found out is a SCORPIO! He told me that if he feels too much for somebody and does ot want a steady relationship he will push them away-- ON PURPOSE!
I asked him why and he said that it's F-cked up to say but he wants to "save them" for when he's ready. Then he says when he's ready to settle down he has a few girls that he knew he could fall in love with so he pushed them away BUT not 100% until he wants a relationship.
He said that when the time comes he "takes them out of storage" and goes through them one by one in the "best order" because some have found somebody else, or some have moved, no longer interested, ect, ect, ect. until he finds one he wants to stick with and wants him back. He also said he usally does this right after Valentines day. By the summer he said he is usally sick of them or vise versa.
He did say though-- that the one who can make it past the initial "push away" and still wants to see him when he's ready-- then makes it past all the summer bull shit-- isn't a nag or a b*tch, has a job and money of her own, he will up and marry right on the spot. He's not a young guy he's 41.
So Now I am completely confused.
Is this normal Scorpio behavior or is my friend just a
Hey moonbeauty. I am glad what I wrote made sense to you.
About your friend theory and practice uhmmm what shall I say. He is crazy and he will meet his match. My ex did..LOL. Anyways don't take his theory on board. Because in general we aren't like that.
Your friend only reafirm my thoughts about Scorpio men with emotional issues. And I am 42 my ex 44.
I find people like that should stay on their own and figure out who they really are and what they really want in a woman.
Your friend has a mask that works for him and the other party should be squeaky clean!?! In which fantasy world is he living in? Everybody has baggage even the woman he thinks he gonna marry. It's up to her if she is gonna put up with it or not. What makes me wonder is what grand prize is this woman getting if his trademark is like this?
About him pushing a person away on purpose is recognizable and unfortunately that is what you have with your guy. But still not all Scorpio's are like that.
And I have a general remark. Always look at the person (their friends etc.) that tells you to run why they are telling you this. Do they mean it or is something else up? Trust your gut feelings and if your not sure...take your time. ( Learned that lately and took more than 3,5 month to come to a conclusion).
Thanks Flowsco. I've been thinking and after reflecting, thinking, talking to my friends (that was frightening -lol- obviously), posting oh yes, and whining this is what I came up with:
I am smitten with this fellow. HOWEVER I have been cooped up with the same guy for close to 10 years. He has been married for 14! Even if he seperated wouldn't he want to go out and test the water?
I have my reason for his break-up from him. I have the explaination from a lot of the posters-- you last one I liked best. --that's probably the best I'm gonna get,
If he wants me-- really wants me-- he knows where and how to find me. He also knows that I want him single. Not for marriage-- but to date. I'm not a husband stealer-- makes for bad Karma. If he is as unhappy as he said-- then he will break up-- but i'll have nothing to do with it.
In the meantime I am going to go out. I don't wanna turn 40 (soon yicks!) and be unhappy in life. I think I deserve better than that. If I settle to be his "extra" then I'll only get whatever scraps he is willing to occationally throw me. F-that! I'm not taking sombody's f-ing scraps!
Scorps are a tough group. Knowing my luck I'll meet somebody else and then he'll come back. TOUGH GROUP I SAY! -lol-
have a great day all!
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Hey moonbeauty, I was going through the posts and your incident is similar to mine. Dunno why these Scorpios love to hurt us. They are the ones who would profess their love and need constant attention, love from us and when they find we girls are trapped they start avoiding us. God knows why?
My Fiancee too left me though he came all the way from abroad and proposed me. But its been 2 months he's not contacting me. I am just depressed.........
Hahaha I got the SAME advice. Run away! lol
I have done the same thing you have done. Thinking, reflecting etc. Dang takes up allot of energy I can tell you. In my case it is a Libra and I end up here with my story aswell.
I hope I wasn’t too blunt. I work with allot of different men. Don’t know their signs and I managed to keep them off me most of the time to get a project done. And believe me I do see in their eyes, behavior when they are not happy with themselves or the situation at home. We are not the rescuing party. These men get burned due to different things in life and they process slowly. A woman up for the challenge has to have a very thick skin. I haven’t met one yet and so we get crushed under the load that they have.
I recently saw a rerun (sorry don’t remember the name of the show) where this young girl moved to another city because she started over and finally got that job break she was looking for. Ran into this guy and fell in love. All of a sudden it was all about him in a good way. They ran into some bumps and he chickened out because he needed time to think and be with his band mates. So he broke off the relationship. At her job she ran into an older woman that told her. And the older woman reply was:
You can fall into an out of love but you always have a relationship with yourself.
Ironically after just hearing this he showed up at her job and apologized to her and said he wanted to pick up where they left off. She told him she loved him but he was too late because when he had her he didn’t appreciate her.
Ok this is TV but still the moral of the story is that we woman have a tendency to put ourselves in the backburner as soon as the ticker start break dancing and start hopping all over the place. I am no different but I learned to control that. Stressful but needed.
Keldjoran. You ask a valid question and your thoughts aren’t wrong either.
The problem with us Scorpios (blushes) is as soon we get you in our s e x ual clutches you have a problem. You got to decide where this relationship is going and where do you want it to go. Think you first. Then the guy and then everybody else. If things aren’t so rosy….uhmm step away but only because YOU decided not because a friend etc said you should.
You know you best and don’t lie to yourself.
My Libra, I met through a friend of his. The friend checked up on me when I started going to this healthclub and asked me how things are going. May I add that this friend had tried getting my attention years ago and didn’t manage. My Libra is an attractive man and he knows it. So basically he can have any woman he can especially in his line of work. So in that aspect we don’t differ much. And he has baggage.
I had to decide: 1. If I wanted to be with him and if yes in what way. 2. Is he really interested or am I going to be another notch on his belt? 3. Do I want to invest the time and how in this person. 4. Is he going to add growth to me in all aspect as a person.
I took my time. Spoke to friends, relatives, came up here made a few new online friends and then made a decision and confronted him and my fears at the same time. I made a choice!
You see everybody me included can go react to animal instincts..lol.. but there is where you get burned. Believe me it’s not pleasant.
So you have yourself a good think and good luck.
The choice I made was to become friends first. I have some things to work through first before becoming that involved with my Libra so time will tell. I need to know who the person is etc. So we are going to hang out first and take it from there.
- noticed that I did't write what choice I made.
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Hey Keldjoran OMG if that was me knowing everything I know not and after going through what I just went through-- this is what I would do--
You said most times you hang out it ends up in sex right? (Super fun I know!) I would end the date first. BUT not harshly-- VERY sweetly. I would say "ugh! I really wanna f-the daylights out of you your so____" (hot/cute/yummy whatever) and then say "But I'v got to drop off my____ (aunt/brother/cousin/friend whomever) for some minor surgery at 6:00 am/the airport/their work --lol-- you get the idea. Let him think of you all night. Missing what he wants.
Another thing I would do BUT NOT ALL THE TIME-- is hop up right after and say "wow I'm hungry/thirsty" and get out of bed, get my food/drink then either get dessed or jump in the shower (depending where you are) all the while commenting on how GREAT the night was and how GREAT he was (becaue most likely-- if he's like my guy was-- he's GRRRREAT! --lol--)
I think if you start to change a bit and still act interested he will be confused.
Like you said you two talk daily. On day I had lost my cell so my guy couldn't call me or email me for 2 days he was like WTF! but the end of the 2nd day. Don't do it often or he may lose interest-- but every now and again it may help to keep him on his toes and appreciate you more.
Oh I have to tell you your little statment cracked me up! I don't know many people like me in terms of politics! --lol--
Flowsco I am so sad to say that It's been a month from when I last spoke to him and it's starting to sink in that I may never be "with" him again. I don't like that. It makes me think that for him it's easy to disgard feelings and people. Do you all miss people? Cancers are so hard to let somebody go. Even people we hate we try to make sence out of their actions-- usally, at least I do.
Flowsco you are a great help on this for me. Thanks.
sagsorp how are you dealing with not talking to your guy for 2 months? is that normal for him?
amandababa did your guy do the same thing as the guys on this post?
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Moonbeauty. We Scorpio have a hard time letting someone go also when we truly fall in love. On the negative we become possessive and destructive. On the positive we can acknowledge the lost and try to move on. But the mask does go on. In my own situation my ex didn’t let me go emotionally for a next 6 years after we separated. Kept tabs etc. I needed another 9 years to heal. Now I met this guy and I am terrified to let him in. That is separate to whom and what sign he is. What scares me the most is his ability to see right through me. There is little I can hide from him.
To answer your question do we miss people at all? YES WE DO. But it’s scarier to admit that you do and get hurt again. So we don’t show.
In general when it isn’t working and you truly love the person let them go. If they come back I know they love me. But with my ex I was confused when he came back. It was his pride that was hurt and tried to hang unto me as long as he could. I was stupid and gave him what he wanted at the time until I found out that he was getting married.
Did he love her? At the time no. She was his ticket to many problems he had and that I didn’t want to take on. I even wrote her a letter telling her that he wasn’t faithful and his heart wasn’t with her. This was at the eve of their wedding because even though I didn’t like her I didn’t want her to get married without knowing what was going on. But still she went ahead and married the man. Did he remain faithful? No. Was he happy? No. Does he love her now? I wonder. Because he does call me up and complain about his life and because I know him I know he isn’t lying. Why does he stay? She was/is his ticket for many of his problem. So basically he is trapped. I can’t help him. Does she know that he is unfaithful? Yes. But she has him on a leash. (Not getting into details how).
So basically he never took the time to be alone and go through the hurting he had with me and get to know himself.
I want to stress that not all Scorpio’s are like this.
I have a Cancer friend and she also had a hard time letting go of her ex. (I don’t know his sign). But she came through it fine and is dating again only thing is she learned to be more careful.
I am glad that I have been of some help. Keep your head up
Oh my Keldjoran. ;-)) I had a giggle reading your last post. Structured!!! LOL. Have fun. It’s hard when people can’t keep up. LOL
Hmm I am missing LibrasLair on this one.
"Moonbeauty. We Scorpio have a hard time letting someone go also when we truly fall in love. On the negative we become possessive and destructive. On the positive we can acknowledge the lost and try to move on. But the mask does go on. In my own situation my ex didn’t let me go emotionally for a next 6 years after we separated. Kept tabs etc. I needed another 9 years to heal. Now I met this guy and I am terrified to let him in. That is separate to whom and what sign he is. What scares me the most is his ability to see right through me. There is little I can hide from him.
To answer your question do we miss people at all? YES WE DO. But it’s scarier to admit that you do and get hurt again. So we don’t show. "
FLOWSCO!! What you said EXACTLY parallels me and my Scorpio guy. When we met he was getting over his high school sweet heart/ex fiance. They did/still keep tabs on each other and all that, so he's still emotionally connected. When he met me we told me he was trying to get over her and move on. He hardly lets me in, but I'm an open book and I see right through him. Haha He knows it, but it scares the hell outta him too. It's so rare he'll open up to me.. but when he does, I know it's the god honest truth. I have a totally new respect for Scorpios now. Honestly. I maybe a Sagittarius, your exact opposite as it would seem, so baffled by what you do, but I love learning from differences, and loving people regardless of our similarities and differences. Peace, love. I'm finally cured from my resentment. You can't hate or hold it against anyone for not seeing from your eyes. And you can't change them. That's how me and my Scorpio sister, and her and her Sagittarius guy became such an unstoppable team. We just respect what's different. Her and her Sagittarius guy worked things out and spent Thanksgiving together. I'm so happy for them! Let love shine.