Aries vs. Capricorn - Please advice
First of all, sorry for my bad English and such a long story below.
I'm Aries lady (born 26-Mar-1985, 10:05am, Tay Ninh - Vietnam). I'm dating a Capricorn man (born 11-Jan-1985, Saigon - Vietnam).
*Actually, he's my ex. We've been dating about 1 month since we were in University (7 years ago, I think). I broke up with him because I found out that he had another gf (I didn't tell him reason of the broke-up). We stay friend since then. He's such a good and fun friend to have.
We weren't in touch for couple of years. Last New Lunar Year's eve (also Valentine), he went to watch firework near my house and passed by to say hi. We talked and laughed. He started to text and call me after that. We're dating for about 2 months now.
He moves to other city to work. Mostly we are just texting and only see each other once a month. He works daytime, and I work nighttime (my company is in different country).
I'm romantic, funny, and independent in financial. I help him with his work, give him freedom and always cheer him up when he's stress/tired. He said I make him feel happy.
The thing is, he's cold, on and off (he didn't text me for days). I really don't know what is in his mind and if he is interested in me.
All of my exes cheated on me. I have no idea why. I'm afraid I will be hurt again..(although, I told him that I trust him)
Thanks in advance.
by DOB alone
both of you are practical, love freedom and like to flirt. His moon is in Virgo, this is not the most romantic placement. No wonder he seems cold to you. A virgo moon gives him tendency to stay busy and stay working, or he will feel guilty/ useless. He will care for you if you tell him you are sick or need help, though. You on the other hand, has Venus in Aries, makes you quite expressive in terms of affection. Your moon in Gemini helps you communicate your feelings, but sometimes, you spend more time talking about it rather than actually feel them. This can bore or exhaust your partner, especially if they are not a romantic type. Before communicating your feelings, your needs, you have to first explore your feelings and analyze them. Only then, you can communicate your feelings in a way that is meaningful to them. Or else they will take it as some kind of ramblings or meaningless chatter.
There is a reason why you experienced a lot of betrayals in your life. You need to develop your value system. North node in Taurus, shows that your value system needs working on. Value range from material value to personal value. In terms of relationship, personal value is to be developed. What do you value in relationship? What do you call commitment, and do you apply this value to yourself? You may think flirting with someone else is harmless, but not everybody thinks that way. You may think you are not flirting, but different person has different way of seeing things.
A good way to define values is to assess yourself. You can do a self introspection or ask your friends what they think you are lacking, and ask your exes : what did they expect to see in you - that they didn't see and that's why they cheated? Some of them may just be shallow and not much of developing personal values themselves, but a few might give you a hint.
Once you establish the value system, stick to it. Don't accept less and don't give less. To love is to give and take. You should not give more than you can take and vice versa.
thank you so much, leoscorpion
I asked my ex before. He said it's because I always please other people, and afraid of hurting them.
I always think that if I treat people nicely, they will treat me the same way too. If they don't, I don't have anything to regret because I didn't do anything wrong.
My friends tell me that I should take care of myself before others. I found it's hard to do so, because if they are happy, I'll feel happy.
I know I shouldn't give it all. I just can't. I don't know how to balance between me and other people.
About flirting.. yes, I don't even know if I'm flirting. I talk and smile to any strangers. Once, I made my sister mad because I kept staying at the motor-parking place to talk to a security guy (I thought it's rude to leave when he was talking to me).
I really like the Capricorn guy, but don't want to be cheated. I will learn how to value myself. Even though, I don't know how to do it yet.
one more question, please anyone can tell me that if a man isn't interested in you, will he break up with you? How long will he break up?
@ Leo Scorpio, omg - i'm another Aries with a Capricorn.. mine is 3/28/80 3:15pm, his is 1/18/80 i have no idea of time, would love a reading!! My moon is in Virgo, is this why I'm cold atimes I wonder?? interesting
hi almondee will look into it.
*Actually, he's my ex"
this Cap already broke up with you. If you mean any other man you will date in the future, there can be a lot of factors why and when a man breaks up with you. Sometimes you're just not meant to be together, or he needs time to sort things out in his personal life, etc.
"I always think that if I treat people nicely, they will treat me the same way too. If they don't, I don't have anything to regret because I didn't do anything wrong. "
Treating people nicely has nothing to do with giving your time and effort too much for them. You can still be nice without doing so.
"I don't know how to balance between me and other people."
"Once, I made my sister mad because I kept staying at the motor-parking place to talk to a security guy (I thought it's rude to leave when he was talking to me)."
Everything starts from within. You won't achieve success in relationship without being successful with your self. Every small step counts. You can always talk and smile to strangers, but not necessarily staying there for hours. Be productive with your time, and you can still smile and talk to strangers when you are at it. To be balanced, is to provide for you AND for others. Do you HAVE TO talk to them for hours to make them happy? I don't think so. If they have a problem, the best way to make them happy is actually asking them what their problems are, and give them advices. Idle chats won't help. If they just want to talk, 10 minutes of funny and light hearted jokes should be good enough. Of course you don't have to count LOL but you get the idea.
A value, as I said, can be material or personal, including your self-worth. One way to improve your self worth is to develop your talents. Every one has talents. Do you know what is yours? Improve these talents. Talents are like assets. By improving them, you are being productive. You may make more money from it, or you don't, it's not important. By improving your talents, you will 'respect' yourself more, because you will achieve things you didn't know you can achieve before. Small or big, it doesn't matter. It is achievement nonetheless.
Another way: You are kindhearted, that is good. You work, that is good. But are you going to stay working in the same place, the same position, the same pay? Improve your knowledge at work, so you can climb up the ladder like every one else, not stay in one place forever. Or if you are happy there, improve your knowledge in other areas: something related to your talents, or something that someone with your personality can fit in. What about hospitality industry, human resources, health industry (nurse, day care etc)? because you seem friendly and like to lend a hand.
This is a lot of work. I won't say it's easy or fast. But at least you get the idea.
Here is a quick look at your dobs
Your sun is in Aries, but Virgo is dominant in your chart. Watch for getting bogged down to details when it’s not necessary to do so. Being critical and analytical is good, but only to a certain degree. Above this limit, you will end up being too hard on yourself, then you will be too hard on others.
Moon conjunct Jupiter, you have a built in optimism. You know that failure is only a delayed success, you always find a way to bounce back. You are also generous to some degree, although Virgo influence will not allow you to go to the extreme. Moon in Virgo makes you feel the need to be busy or ‘useful’. In relationship, this can be a good thing, because you do not rely so much on your partner you can be self sufficient in daily routines, but watch for being too busy that you miss what is most important : enjoying the advantage of being in a relationship itself, experience romance and affection to deepen the connection between you two. After all, with Venus in Taurus, you wouldn’t mind being spoiled and pampered.
Mars energy in Leo is great if you channel it to creativity or anything positive, or else you will end up in argument or fights over small things. Creativity is probably a good channel for you, since Mercury in Pisces, you have a photographic memory, very good for keeping imagination alive and Mars energy will give you the boost you need to help make this imagination come true.
He is a Cap with Capricorn and Virgo dominant in his chart. His Venus in Pisces is exalted. He has great compassion and sensitive nature. He needs to watch being short tempered and overly sensitive -- sometimes people say and do things that they don’t mean -- and watch from being manipulated due to his compassionate nature. With Mars in Virgo, he is good with details, just watch not to get too extreme and picky. Sun conjunct Mercury, he is good with gathering information and communicating it. He will be helpful when you need a solution that you can’t seem to come up with on your own.
Both of you have Jupiter and Saturn in Virgo. Try not to be overly concerned over small things, some things are bound to happen anyway and there is nothing you can do about it. Jupiter in Virgo on the good side, is helping you both to be more productive with your time and energy. Pay attention to your schedules and allow yourself some free time to spend together. Aim to be productive, instead of perfection. There is no such a thing as perfect, all you can do in life, is give it your best. Enjoy simple pleasures in life.
hope this helps.
Thank you for all of your effort.
He broke up with me.. after 3 months.
He said he's back to his girlfriend.
I hurt.. why people can treat each other like this?
am I so naive?
I won't say the word 'naive' or 'gullible' because all of us are 'naive or gullible' in one way or the other. nobody knows everything, or experts in everything. I can't use the word 'naive' in your case either. Since what you are, is actually giving too much of yourself. This happens because you do not VALUE yourself right.
See it like this : you are selling an item. you don't know how much this item's value is, and so you sell it cheaper than its worth. Not saying you are selling yourself LOL I just give an example of an item.
From now on, NEVER give too much of your time and effort to anyone. If you do want to help, look at your schedule first and allocate time for yourself. The rest, you will use for other people. See? This is not selfish, is it? The time for yourself, use it for improvement. Take higher education and courses that can lead you somewhere you want to be.
Don't worry about relationship. Like I said, everything starts within. If you do not establish good relationship with yourself, you will not find a good relationship with others. A woman that doesn't respect herself, doesn't VALUE herself right, will only be manipulated and become 'a side menu' than 'the main dish'.
Don't worry about past relationships either. Start a new, and start with yourself.
After every breakup, I'll make myself busy with work and study to get over it.
I'm Aries. I'll get over thing very easy. yesterday i were upset. But I think I move on now. He made big mistake when he left me.
I should take care of myself (my look, education and career) first. when I spend enough time for me, I will take care of my family and close friends. They are the one will stick with me. When I earn much money (of course, steady income), I'll take care of society (There are lot of homeless kids and elders in my country).
once again, thank you Leo. I'm really appreciated
It's just weird that I always had a dream my exes with other girl the night before I found out they cheated.
leoscorpion ~ hi there...cpuld you please give me insight to this combination:
me = 7/9/73
him = 12/31/65
(my moon Scorpio his Aries)
Finally got time to do yours and his
Your sun sits in Cancer but Mars is quite dominant in your chart. In Aries, Mars is at home. You like taking in charge, you like being in action, always onto something. Being active is a good thing, but you also need to learn to stay put when necessary. If you have one task at hand, stay until it is completed, rather than just leave it behind when you are bored and get a new one. Same with problems. If you see a problem, especially in the relationship, try to talk it over until it is solved, rather than leaving it behind thinking that everything will be fine.
Your North node in Cap, your purpose is to adopt Cap trait. Be more grounded, more aloof, practical and ambitious. Your emotion Is strong and lively, staying grounded and be more aloof will help you maintain calmness and balance. A strong emotion is good for intuition, because you ‘feel’ deeply. But without grounding, it will interfere with logic and cloud your judgement.
You are quite expressive and popular. With Venus in Leo you don’t take or give second best. But watch for Moon in Scorpio that you are not controlled by jealousy and possessiveness, or being too much of a critic. A female in your family might have made you feel insecure that you build barriers around you. Or something has happened to her that made you fear the same thing will happen to you. Usually this has something to do with betrayal. Similarly, you might have been hurt a few times before. Think twice before going with Scorpio intensity. We all make mistakes. Especially with Neptune in Sag, you will find that ‘think first before acting’ is a good thing. Nothing much is as it seems, when Neptune is involved. Before going with what you feel, keep calm and collect more information instead.
His Sun is in Cap. His Venus conjunct Mars in Aqua. He may be erratic, but attractive nonetheless. Mars here gives a great boost to his charm and attractiveness. You may not know what attracts you to him, but you are attracted. You may find him rather intellectual than romantic but he is somewhat sensual although unpredictable. He can be cold today and hot the next day, aloof uncaring today and romantic the next day and so on. Moon in Aries can make him quite temperamental, although the next day he will get all smiley and cheerful as if nothing happened the day before.
Although his sun is in Cap, this sign is not dominant in his chart at all. He is however, quite grounded by Pluto conjunct Uranus in Virgo, another earth sign. He doesn’t mind being in the backstage and is not as expressive or popular as you are. He is quite friendly and likes spending time with his friends, but he has to watch not to trust everything they said. His North in Gemini shows he has to learn to listen to both sides and be more social.
Hope this helps.
that's a good plan. you have a big heart , always ready to give. you're perfect for social work or even counselling people.
keep working on your plan, you will see how much self improvement can affect your confidence on yourself and you will attract just the right person someday.
"Your moon in Gemini helps you communicate your feelings, but sometimes, you spend more time talking about it rather than actually feel them. This can bore or exhaust your partner, especially if they are not a romantic type. Before communicating your feelings, your needs, you have to first explore your feelings and analyze them. "
Your moon is actually in last degree of Taurus, close to the cusp Gemini. so you may feel either influence. although most likely Taurus is stronger. Don't dwell in the past. It is romantic sometimes, to remember the good times. But stay in the current and go for the future.
About you knowing before they cheated, your Pluto is in Scorpio. here it doubles the influence. Intuition, can be quite accurate.
My DOB is April 17 1981. His is January 1 1981. Could you give me insight to this combination?
will try this Friday or the weekend
Quite a few similarities between you and him. But from your DOB, he is less of a go getter/ action taker than you are.
I will start with similarities :
North in Leo is showing your purpose to be a leader of some kind. You may have disappointments with friends and associates in your life, this is simply because you are to lead and not to accompany. What you need to take from your root in Aqua is originality and independence. It’s even more important to him since Mars conjunct his root. Mars energy will keep him on intellectual pursuit, which is a good thing, but he needs to watch holding on too tight to freedom and avoid attachment of any kind. He can still be attached to someone or something, without losing freedom and originality.
Both of you need to watch for temptation of power. Leading is not controlling others or being controlled by others. Those are interfering and dictating, more of a tyrant attribute.
Something about material and personal value is driving you towards wealth accumulation and self development, or actually despise these. Maybe you spent your childhood in poverty, or you have seen what poverty does to people. Realize that material value has nothing to do with self confidence and self improvement. Whether you have a lot or not, you can still improve yourself. Comfort and pleasure can be achieved with having just enough, not too much and not too little.
Saturn conjuct Jupiter is like a push and pull in between being all optimistic and rather rigid. You enjoy being in a relationship but when you are in it, you constantly wonder whether it will last or whether you can make it last. With Pluto around, watch for being obsessed in relationship so deep that you give up your individuality. If you do this, you will not make the relationship last, you will only make ‘slavery’ lasts. Go for what is just and fair, that’s what Pluto’s intensity can be used for.
Neptune in Sag is a great help in achieving spiritual destination, but watch for fog of illusion that can lead you to believe deception. Learn to stick with inner guidance, so that you stay with the reality of things, not what things and people seem to be. In his case this is even more important, because Venus in Sag just can’t stop wondering around for an ideal lover. It’s a great idea, ideal lover, until he keeps criticizing you and then he will criticize himself for not being able to find the ideal lover. There is no such person, because nobody is perfect.
Mars is accompanying your Sun in Aries, conjunct Mercury. You are intellectually and physically active. Try slow down a pace and stick with problems at hand, don’t bother solving more problems or finishing more projects before you finish the ones you currently have. This way you can be at the same page with everyone else, not ahead or far behind (with the new book). Moon in Libra, you easily charm people and you enjoy peace and harmony. You are not so much of moody and attention seeker, but you would appreciate nice small gestures. His Sun conjunct Mercury in Cap, he is sophisticated and may seem aloof or uncaring. Saturn aspecting his Sun can make him seem indecisive or too slow to act. If he takes his time in the relationship, try to be patient and stay in the same page. Saturn the Old Man favors caution, this is actually good to have around, because you don’t want to act without considering all options and risks. Especially in relationships.
Hope this helps.
Thank you leoscorpion...very insightful. There is a timing issue with this relationship...always seems off. Since then I have developed another one that greatly stirs things up.
(my moon Scorpio..his Gemini)
I'll be busy this weekend and the next
so maybe you can ask someone else to read
I have to finish some charts this week also
No problem....take care! kindly