Forgiving someone who hurt you...

  • A year and a half ago I thought I had met my soulmate...we had this incredible energy together that we could both feel...It was a long distance relationship and he traveled for work sometimes months at a time. I was always there when he returned. Then last week he was indifferent and even cruel and when I was in the shower he played on my computer a while...his mood was worse when I was done. That night after he left I decided to check the history on my computer for some strange reason and found that he was on FIFTEEN online dating sites with messages to women on his most recent trip to Germany. He had been unfaithful all along. I had been praying to the angels for weeks- a prayer given to me by a friend who really cared requesting that the angel Michael and God dismiss any relationships in my life that were not in God's plan and harmful to me...I thought this was directed at some friend I had who was giving me grief...but evidently it was HIM who had to be dismissed from my life. I was devastated and confronted him...his reply was "I'm a good actor"...I dumped him (or the other way around actually) and have since moved on, however, I am in the process of trying to forgive him for any injustices committed against me and to forgive myself for any past reactions I had in relation to this. I think this is necessary to move on and heal.

    It's difficult to say the least, but I am diligent in my prayers and this is what I have to do to free my still hurts deeply and I think about him far too much, but I have great faith that one day

    I shall awaken and all the hurt will have turned to love and peace. I know God and the angels intervened and I am very grateful for this realization for I am that I am...I also pray for strength and even perhaps a new relationship/soulmate one day...He was a Libra and I am a Sag, but I'm not too familiar with the compatibility of both...One must just have faith...and I do..

  • I would first like to give you a great big hug,and tell you everything will be OK. I have lots of faith in GOD and can tell you from very,very much experience that when you pray to GOD and his angels that they will give you exactly what you ask for,sometimes it's not what we want to hear or happen but it's for our own good.You must forgive him for being the kind of person he is and know that this was for a reason that this happened.My intuition tells me that God has a plan for you,one day when you least expect it ,your Mr. Right is going to come into your life,or maybe he's already there,and you never thought of him in that way.

    You are diffently on the right path to peace and love, stay faithful to your prayers,heal yourself and know this was the right thing for you and that's why GOD let you find out the way you did.He does not deserve a beautiful soul like you,it's his loss,and your gain.It's better you found out now,instead of when there could of been children involved.So think of it as a positive thing to of happened.As time passes your hurt and pain will heal,just know you are the good person,and GOD SEE'S ALL. Best wishes and GOD BLESS!!!!!

  • The best way to get past this(at least it works for me)is to pray for him. Its going to hard at first and even if all you can do is say "God bless and help...." it will eventually set you free. I think its because you turn your focus away from your pain and anger and onto the freedom of moving past it to a place of peace. It won't mean anything at first and I'm not saying this will make you think of him with joy, but it will put you in another place. Real and true love will come your way when you realize that its not HIM you're thinking of "far too much" but the pain his lies caused you. You are not holding on to him, you are holding on to your hurt and that's blocking you from opening up to better things.

    In future, be careful not to think that the first flush of love means that the person who makes you feel that way is "the one" or your "soul mate." Sometimes, wanting something so much, we ONLY see what we want to see and make things more than they are because, since SOME things are there, this MUST be it. Balance your heart and your head. Be open to love, but keep your eyes open wider.

    Got2breal is very right. You will absolutely be ok,especially being that you ARE seeking to forgive and move on. We have all been through heartbreak and we are all here to help one another. You are not alone.

    Blessings and Light

  • Deirdre10>> I just happen to know first hand the compatiabilty of the Libra/sagg love, I am a Libra and my husband is a Saggittarius. To sum it up: Libras are in love with the idea of being in love. I've known this about myself for a long time so I'm very carful not to get caught up in my feelings when someone catches my eye. It's not easy sometimes - I'm not saying all Libras are like this, I can only speak for myself and my experiences. However, he seems to have the same tendencies. I don't believe that he has meant to hurt you, cuz we do really love the ones we're with. It's the feeling you get when you first fell in love, ya know. I love that feeling, don't you? It's almost addictive. I know in my heart that he feels just awful, probably wont show you that side so he can protect himself, but trust me he feels as badly as you do. He will carry the memory of you and the love you shared for life. Please don't misunderstand me, I not trying to O.K the things he has done, only explain them. I just thought if maybe you understand where his heads at, then maybe, maybe, it might be a little easier to forgive him - feel sorry for him. You will be able to forgive/forget him (at least for periods of time) but he wont. What I know of sagg is that you have an amazingly huge heart and along with that the ability to forgive. (In time)

    I'm guessing you are fun, adventrous, and have many friends. So, the first step is wanting to forgive, and you do, it's all down hill from here!!! Good Luck in Love and Life. Hope this helps.

  • deirdre

    life is about learning and moving forward. it is not about changing what others do or say to us, it's about how we deal with it. the universe deals with us individually. what we get out of it is what we send out. if we send out negative energy, we will get it back. if we send out positive energy, we will get it back too.

    everything happens for a reason, for life is meant to learn. do not dwell in the past, for it is negative action and will invite past hurts to keep coming back to you. learn from what happened in the past then close the door. make an honest assessment about yourself, have you ever harboured anger/jealousy/sadness/wish bad luck anyone even if they are strangers. then make amends when necessary or possible. and move forward. start a new life and live it in the truth and balance, for both are positivities. lies and denials, no matter how much it will make you look stronger, are negativities and will not help you move forward. nurture your physical and your psyche in any way you can. both are important to live your life fully and experience all that the universe meant you to experience.

    there are people out there that hurt others intentionally and unintentionally. it is hard to forgive and forget them, but remember the universe deals with us individually and it will deal with them. revenge is negativity and will be returned to you, even if you feel you have the right, for you have been wronged. because we are only here to learn and move forward, the universe will take care of the rest. despair, fear (of anything including of the future), worry and sadness are also negativities. don't dwell in them and don't let these drain you. whenever you are down or start to 'sink' tell yourself This too shall pass. for they will. negative energy drain you by taking you away from hopes and bright side of life. don't give up. live your life as I described. the universe timing is not linear like us, but it always returns what we send out. when the time comes, you will find what or who you seek.

    healing and nurturing take time and efforts. give your self the time it needs and continue to live your life the way it should be lived. if you nurture your physical with balanced diet and routine exercise, nurture your psyche with spiritual exercise (you can find yoga and meditation online for free, or go with your spiritual/religious leaders and read related books) and be active go out and about for spiritual cause or meeting. Keep smiling even if your heart is in sorrow, you are spreading positivity that way plus you never know who will be attracted to your smile. base all your thoughts/actions/ words on love and tolerance. there is no need to be angry/negative to those who angered you or be negative to you. the universe knows and will deal with it. leave them in the past, for you are living your life for the future.

  • leoscorpion>>> WOW!! Your wisdom & insight is comparable to none. I love your posts & hope everyone will take serious thought to what you have to say. I will definitely put your words into action. Thank you, you have really helped me in a time in my life when I really, really need it!

    Deirdre10 - good Luck hon!

  • I think you should just chop off his fave man parts. Just kidding!!! You are right for wanting to forgive him. But dont forget to forgive yourself to if you just arent able to do that right now. I think you will when the time is right. We stay in pain over things like this for a while its natures way of protecting our hearts from further damage. Had you forgiven immediately you may still be going through this. Anger and pain lets us no that something is WRONG. I am sorry for what he did to you and someone sweet like you will find someone great someday. (hugs)

  • Oh another thing you can do is mentally picture a cord connecting the 2 of you and forgiveness and healing light flowing through it between you. then when you feel ready imagine yourself cutting the cord along with any emotional ties to it.

  • wendy

    I'm glad that I have helped

    I wish the universe sends you support and protection as you are trying to live your life in positivity and balance

    to start anything is never easy, so don't be panic if you fail now and then

    keep trying and with practice it will be a habit you will be surprised of the new you and the new experiences the universe will send you

    the universe sends us challenges but it will also help us learn

    never fear or shy to ask it for help, for it will

    you may call it any name as your religion calls the highest power

    I call it the universe, for it is what my spirit guide and mentors call it

    the knowledge and wisdom, I do not take credit for them, they belong to the universe

    I only share what the universe has sent me through helpful people and spirits all my life

    bye now take care

  • Leoscorpion>> Many blessings to you as well, and thanks again. Until our paths cross again.....

  • until then

    take care

  • I have a similar problem involving a husband of 22 years who left me 10 years ago. I got a great deal of help from the comments here. Ten years is a long time and we will cross paths because our daughter will have a baby in April. I just can't seem to get over the whole thing. I have read books but haven't been able to FULLY forgive him. I don't want to ever see him again, yet I do. I imagine scenarios where his new wife dies and he asks to return to the house. Would I let him? Of course I would. I feel like I am over the pain but not over the love and don't know what to do with it because it is a waste of time. Akkkk!

  • betty

    dwelling in the past is not necessary

    all it does is bring past hurt back into your life

    make a choice to live for the current and for the future

    leave the rest to the universe

    if he is meant for you, he will return to you

    forgiveness is not easy but not impossible

    accept what happened and move on

    in time, you will be able to forgive and forget him

  • Betty>>> New wife dies? Whats that about? Why not meet some young Italian Lover and move to Italy? Something, ya know, alive like that? Listen to Leo, Leo is wise.

    Love & Light

    Leoscorpion>>> Great advice.......Of Course.........(It's Wendy, I finally got a cool new name:) ).

  • wendy

    hello! and why new name??

  • Deidre, forgive me but...GROSS! Sometimes we get hurt awfully bad so that we can appreciate someone you meet who is going to be awfully good to you. There is more light and shade to your life now, that will be able to define your character in good times to come. Please don't lose your innocence with this, it is sacred and admirable- don't let him take that from you.

    lovinmylife, I really like the visualization you recommend, very beautiful it will be helpful for me as well, thanks

  • Hey that was very crul of him! never give up or feel bad about that because your soulmate would never do that to you and is still out there for you to find iam shore of it !!!!!

  • Leo>>> When I first became a member on this site, I thought I would be able to pick a screen name, but it went off my e-mail address (as you all know, and I know NOW) anyway, everyone else had these awsome names, in most cases in this site, knowing a persons sign cames in handy. - To better to understand and assist others. - I love that I'm a libra. I thought "librasangel" would give others a good first impression of who I am. Does that sound silly? By the way, I really like your name and like many others things that you have helped me with, you also inspired me to finally do it. I should of just done it right away but I had no idea I would connect with people so soon, then after a few days/weeks of chatting, I thought you guys would of thought I dissappeared. Then a figured/hoped that by now you guys would know that I'm just goofy enough to do something like that.

    So on that note..........I'm off to do my nightly reading...........Good night, Love and Light!!!

  • To the starter of this post, since I have not read the replies:

    Firstly, if you manage to forgive what has been done to you, you will be protected from experiencing the same again. And if you have children, your children will be protected from experiencing that also, since feelings are inherited - and feelings create expectations and mistakes that attract the same to happen again. Etc.

    Secondly, to forgive is not something that comes from the person. Forgiveness is a spirit, a healing power that one must receive. It is like receiving healing. So instead of focusing on forgiving, focus on the source of forgiveness, the light.

    In fact, this is an emotional wound that might be healed like any other kind of wound.

    An emotional wound creates patterns in our behaviour (our inner behaviour), choices from a mistake done by others. So the patterns are new patterns in our thinking, that does not necessarily serve us well.

    So in order to forgive, one must be ready to let go of a whole world of thinking patterns, feelings that do not serve us well. So it is a process, a healing process, to forgive. A healing process that one would not have needed to go through if the mistake had not been made.

    When you let go of patterns, feelings and thoughts that does not serve you well, you will be protected from the same thing happening again. And you will be blessed by God in doing so, since the forgiveness has been without self interest. It helps you, but it is not because of self interest that one forgives. One forgives because it is the best for yourself and the world. That is an altruistic motive, since the goal is healing, not anything that has to do with the mind. One must in a way let go of the mind in order to forgive.

  • ok Wendy

    I don't remember how I picked my own

    since the beginning I like your attitude towards life

    any name you pick is fine by me

    glad you like my name 🙂

    take care now and hope you had a good read

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