If blmoon is not available could some one else do a rading
I met someone a couple months ago who I started to run from in the first place because he has addictions .. past relationships have been nothing but broken promises.
He seems sincere and seems to be trying very hard to quit, but it just keeps getting the best of him!
He is an amazing man who has a big heart which is why I have stuck by him trying to show him I care to encorage him. He came from out of State to stay for a week to get away from stress ect. and stayed off them for the week but a day after getting home he gave in again. Will he get past this? Will any thing I do make any diference? Or should I move on? This is causing alot of heart ache... my DOB i s 07/20/64 his 6/6/65
Thank you so very much!Cancer64
Spirit says there is posability to do things differently. Not just for him but for you as well. If something about what your feeling is familiar than you are at a crossroads. What you must decide is do you excercise your free will and avoid this risk of failure yet again or slay the beast this time. You both must do things differently. You do have an influance on him but you cannot cure him. He needs outside help and you can only direct him in that direction as much as possible. He does like you very much but his addiction cannot be trusted. Addiction is a heartless ruthless selfish dangerouse thing. It has no conceince--just an appetite that must be fed no matter what. You must protect yourself--give him lines he cannot ever cross and mean it. When he does and begs back in you must insist he committs to getting medical help with longterm couseling. Search your past relationships for clues how to change an old pattern--this could bring out the best in both of you. It's in his hands to make the right choice and you must always be prepaired to let go with an addict. Addiction is for life--even if he manages it for twenty years it is a reality that can slip in now and then. But if you love him--the vows ring true--in sickness and in health. Blessings
Thank you Blmoon,
After going every othe rroute I have (sarrowfuly) given him an ultimatum (which he did not appreciate at all) I have not spoken for three days to him, hoping he will take me seriously, I care so much for him but I must care more about my own emotional health. He is an amazing man who has so much potential to move mountains in this world...but his addictions have stiffled that....Can you telll me what you see..will he get the help he needs? I spoke with his brother and he told me he has been in detox twice but he does not follow through with meds or treatment. He has gone through years of lonliness... will knowing he will lose me convince him to follow through? Or are my efforts fruitless? I have gone through all this before and have ended up being the victom of much resentment...I do not want that again..which is why I am asking for insight from you. I am a compashionate person to a detriment and want too only see the good until they prove me wrong (which he is) but I have a hard time turning away from some one who could possibly get better.... but if he is not willing to take measures needed and stick with it, I cant put my self through it. What do you see for Kamrans future??
Thank you so much Blmoon!
You are a true blessing.
I also have ringing n my ears can you tell me what is causing it?? Thanks again
His addiction is bigger than anything else. He cannot stop on his own and detox is no cure so you can only put him in the direction of long term help. He needs a psychiatric intervention but even that won't happen on its own unless court ordered. Most states have some kind of act available to families who must intervine to save a loved one. In Florida it's called the marchman act and if a family member finds him usuing and it's evident they can call the sherifs' department and ask for a special officer that deals with addicts out of control. Check the website in your area under the local or states sherrif department. Once picked up they are forced to be evaluated and then for six months must be tested under court order so they get extended treatment. Find out what intervention has already been tried by family members. I don't see him stopping for you--it's not personal he just can't or he would. Right now he can still get by and use so he will. No I do not see him getting better right now. Please do not take it personal as he cannot stop--addiction is bigger than anything else. When he detoxes it only compounds the guilt he's left with--he's done a lot of damage--broke a lot of hearts--betrayed family again and again. Spirit says you need to meet with others who have dealt with codependency--it will give you support you need and suggestions you need to hear. The ear buzz is mind body spirit. Stress and alergy and tuning out your inner voice when you listen to his over your own good advice. You didn't need to ask me--listen to your intuition--you know he is not going to be any different that the past. As I said earlier this is a time for duing it differently as yes he can change but spirit gives no set in stone prediction because part of your lesson is dealing with him without taking on the responsability for the outcome--it really is out of your control. Look for a local meeting for alanon--or a related group--it will help you make the right decisions. He muddles your head with his pain and you lose power to help him in a way that keeps you from being resentful. You must have a strong detached backbone to match that big big heart of yours--you deserve a healthy love.
It just hurts so bad to be so helpless! I know that its not personal, He is in CA and I know because of his past that it would only take a phone call to the police...he was going to the extreme of threatening suiside if he does not have me, extreely manipulative! I told his brother what was going on and sugested calling to PD because I have emails from him threatening such...but he said to wait through the weekend and see ow he is. Obviously he did not take it seroiusly. but my suggestion was that it would force him to be evakuated etc...If he doesnt..I will. If tat is the only option. At least I can have a clear concience.
I questioned God why he would put me in this situation in the first palace because I have had to deal with other peoples addiction as long as I can remembe...my only answer was that He needed help. I have done every thing I can for him.
I have had to deal with so much lonliness...he took that away for the past ten weeks but at a price. I have been divorced and I am afraid to even go out, because I cant trust any one to feel about love and commitment that I do! Will I ever find some one who does? Some one who is honest and means the things they say??
I need to clarify,
His threats werent to keep me with him but to make me comply to the way he wanted me to act toward him ( non confrontational)
you are really much stronger than you realise--in fact that's why the weak attach themselves so readily--your fear that you seek them out somehow is not entirely true but you are aware on some level that it is whithin your power to do things differently and change the outcome. Remember spirits first message to you was that this is just ANOTHER opportunity to "change" the way you react and do things when confronted with this situation. You are in fact easily the energy that addicts get addicted to--what's missing in themselves during illness. You have a gift of healing heart. You are a peaceful haven when you are not flooded by others pain. This is your challenge--to remain true to your nature yet to be strong enough to protect yourself. So far it's been all or nothing. You put yourself out there get trampled then try to just close yourself off--resentful as the weapon--and end up miserable because neither is your true nature. You are not happy when you wall yourself up. Instead of focusing so much on him you must give more energy to you and seek out all the info you can find on what drives you unconceisly to not be able to defend yourself enough. You are aware that the faces change but the feelings keep coming back. You feel trapped--loss of power. A victim. Concentrate on healing your half of the equasion and you will do it differently this time. A lot of this is an issue of safety and control. Join a group of others who share your challenges--you can not do this alone. As heavy as this feels right now spirit does show me the sun rising on the Horizon--there is the light of day coming and you will see the other side of this. Above all spirit advises to avoid feelings of "hopelessness". Anytime you get those feelings of hopelessness it is a warning you must cut yourself off from the problem--get away mind body and spirit. Turn off the phone--get outside and remem,ber your joyful self and once restored get back in there with a warrior attitude. You have to be your own body guard and detach and fill your joyful spirit to stay strong----forget the small battles--walk away--recharge and always win the war. Blessings
DEar Blmoon I did not realize you had replied, I took your advice about deserving a healthy love. I already know that! I have broken ties ith him, I feel so much better! I was lonlly because it took getting used to not talking to him every day...in the beginning he was very uplifting to me when I needed it.
I have met a man who named Amir who is so far.. the sweetest, unselfish, caring,encouraging man I have ever known. We have gone out three times now and we are going out again Sat. I am so excited! I have such good feelings about him! He is a single dad with teenage kids who he has raised without thier mother since they were 1 and 3 years old.. He is Iranian and his family moved here after the revelution His mom came first and it 5 and seven years to get Amir and his sister here...so he braught his children with him to america.. All these years he has dedicated himself to raising his children with out ever remarring or even dated...and working and going to college in the last few years since they are older now and dont need constant care. I admire him so much!
With my ex husband Roger ( not the person was talking about in my note to you) I could never do any thing right he always pointed out the egatives and nevr allowed me to accomploish any thing he was so bad for my self esteem...that is why I divorced him and I am so determined to be sucessful so i can show him he is wrong!
I am starting a business for debt resolution...Amir is so encouraging that I can and will be successful he allows me to dream big ! I have never met any one like him...I am so excited!
They only concern I have about this relationship, Amir has not told his children yet, he is seeing me..he wants to make sure that things are going to work out between first, which I understand completely, but both of us are at the point that we want to keep seeing each other... I am woried that they may see me as competition because they have not had to share thier dad with any one.they are 15 and 17 yrs old.........the best senerio would be that they are happy for thier father but it could go either way. What do you see?
Blmoon please tell me hes not married or involved?