Could someone please offer some insight or advice, specifics in thread.
I am currently 26 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend and I have been having issues. My dob is 9/20/1989, his is 1/26/1990. My due date is 2/22/2010.
Please let me know if there is anything else I can tell you that would help.
I will also put my email here, firstname.lastname@example.org
I guess i want to know how the baby will be and if my boyfriend and I will make it and if not, what should i do?
Also, if you want to make any predictions about the baby or when it will be born or anything you see, you are more than welcome
Thank you in advance!
I agree with Bab. A beautiful little boy! Just relax hon. The emotions go high when pregnant.
Peace and light
Thank you both for responding! what you have said is true about me snapping and being emotional. I know I do this, it is just hard to control.
A lot of it is that we had issues before the pregnancy and he has done some things to me and I have a hard time forgetting them. And I feel that I have a hard time being affectionate with him and expressing love to him because of this.
Can you guys see anything about him and how he feels towards me?
It is a boy
Congratulations on the impending arrival of your son:) I don't know if this is too personal so I'm going to try not to put it all out there. I'm feeling like his having "done some things" to you refers to behavior that has resulted in your not being able to trust him completely or let go of the hurt this caused. Right?
As far as his feelings, I get that he does love you but, to be honest, he's becoming unhappy. If he has hurt you and you have decided to work things out, then you have to work on truly forgiving. We all know you can't forget, but you also can't decide to stay and go on punishing him AND yourself.
You're insecurities are the biggest threat to your relationship. You're not afraid that he'll do those things again, you're afraid of what made him do it in the first place. That it was dissatisfaction with YOU that caused him to do it. I feel that that was not the case. It was mainly immaturity(his)and a bit of fear over settling down, being overwhelmed by the depth of your relationship. I feel like you two weren't really planning on getting as serious as you did when you first started out and were so caught up in the giddiness of it, you didn't have much of a chance to readjust your thinking.
The best way out of this is to tell him that you have forgiven him but you need his help in getting over the fear and insecurity this has caused. So,from now on, when you start to snap, he or you will gently and calmly(better to try lovingly) comfort and talk through it.
You're probably focusing on what he did more than your feelings about your place in it and the fears it has caused and that, along with the anger you're holding on to are causing you not be affectionate or express love to him.
By withholding affection, you keep him chasing after you for it and this makes you feel less insecure by making you feel wanted. At the same time, it reminds him that YOU'RE the injured party and HE'S got to both remember what he did AND make it up to you. You don't really want him to make it up to you, you're subconsciously forcing him to prove he loves you because of the insecurities his past mistakes planted. Each time you snap or withhold affection and he stays, you feel TEMPORARILY better. But, what's also happening is HE'S feeling less secure and constantly worse.
I know it hurt and I applaud your commitment to work it out. But, if you ARE going to work it out, then you must stop unconsciously sabotaging yourself. He does love you. If you love him and want to work it out, talk about your fears, ask him to help you, and make a commitment to stop sabotaging your relationship and pushing him away. Eventually,if you don't stop this, you will succeed in exactly what you don't want. He's really trying. But I feel very strongly that he's getting desperate, exasperated, and unhappy.
All THREE of you deserve better:)
Light and Blessings