Leoscorpion, it was quite a boon to have your validation on my previous post. I very much respect your enlightened peace and grace so to have you say I was doing right in some things encouraged me to push on. Thank you very much.
Wenchie, you darling! I emailed you:)
Love to ALL
bab there have been times when I have had calls from friends and I am exasperated with them because they don't do anything for themselves. And I wanted to say "well you must like the way your treated cause your still there" but I don't. Want to but don't. You I don't even come close to feeling like that. lol I am practical your right and I have a hard time sometimes softening my words so as not to offend. Its not done on purpose believe me if I wanted it to hurt it really would. And that's the cusp of Scorpio that can come out when I am provoked. You know we can all show that side if it is needed. I am good with you and you are good with me. Much love and light. Speaking of did I explain the light well?
Libra, I'm glad you know that I wasn't being a hard headed A S S ...,confusion makes even communication tough:) I've been in the same predicament you described and, being an obnoxious Virgo, I have gotten to the "you don't care WHAT I say so why ask? I'm done talking to myself." Knowing how much it bothers me, I was horrified at the thought that I had made anyone feel that way. I LOVE your straightforward,practical candor! It makes me smile and it makes me think. You might be shocked to know, I can be pretty emotional...I know, its unbelievable. I swear its true...LOL
Your explanation of Light was perfect! I posted a comment, suitable impressed and enlightened.
Oh man talk about making a person feel taller than her 5'2 stature. Thanx
You are a giant among mortals, my friend:) except I wish I were petite, like you. At 5'9 I'm a bit gangly, throw on some heels and I'm a catastrophe waiting to happen.lol
5'9 is a lovely height. I'm the short one in my family. My mum is 6 foot, my 3 younger brothers are all over 6 foot and then you have me ....... around 5'4-5'5! Just as well I guess, because my man is the same height as me and when I have heels on I am taller than him, which amuses me no end!
wenchie,that is too funny:) There are some heels that make me taller than the aforementioned bane of my existence and it tickles me pink to wear them, too!
I'm tallest of the four girls my parents sprung on this poor world, taller than both my parents, and the same height as my brother. Considering that and how unsuccessfully we get along (being that I'm quite the oddity physically and spiritually) I'm inclined to agree with my man when he says I'm more likely related to the german shepherd in that house than any of the people.
Oh, I so know how you feel Hisbablove! The joys of having found your soul mate, your best friend, knowing that your paths would have never crossed, that you would never have met but that circumstances brought you into each others lives, that your were meant to find each other and the sadness and pain when you are faced with the decision of possibly having to let go and say goodbye knowing that even if you say the words, it will never truly be goodbye because that person lives in your heart and you know to your very core they always will. The struggle between your head and your heart because you love that person so very deeply, you want them to grow as a person, not for you but for themself, to be happy, to want to take away all their pain, knowing your love is worth fighting for but feeling helpless because they cannot get past their own feeling of fear of past hurt that has left them feeling scared and confused. Yes, I do know how you feel and you are not alone.
The hardest thing I have had to do was to love someone enough to let go! And even though I know in my head it was what I had to do, the right thing for both of us, it doesn't make the pain I feel in my heart any easier. We do love each other and always will but it was a conversation we had that he said "It's not that I don't love you, I do love you and trust you, I just don't know if I'll ever be able to function in a relationship." He told me that several times he just wanted to call me and ask me to marry him but feared that if we married & things didn't work out he would lose me and didn't want to lose what we had. I guess I just finally realized that no matter how much I love him, no matter how much he loves me, no matter how much I've not only told him but showed him I am not anything like the person that hurt him, he is scared and just can't get past and/or let go of his fears. He has some work to do, to deal with a past hurt that I feel haunts him and until he can deal with it and let it go, he'll never be free of his pain or find the peace, love and happiness that I want for him. We didn't end on an argument, we didn't say goodbye, we told each other "I love you" and left as friends and we keep in touch just to make sure the other is doing ok. Sometimes I think it would be easier if we had just said goodbye, but neither one of us can seem to do that, and that I still don't understand? A year later and he is still the 1st person I think about when I wake, the last as I'm falling asleep, wondering how his day was and if him and his kids are doing ok and many times throughout the day. Sometimes I just pray for the day that I can wake not thinking about him and go an entire day, but I don't know if and/or when that will happen? I've never loved a man so completely and unconditionally or been so sure that this was the man I was meant to be with!
I think what I'm really trying to say to you is whatever your decision, whether it be to stay and fight or go your separate ways, don't make the mistake I have made. Make your decision with a unity between your head and your heart. I think my mistake, the reason I feel so broken hearted, is that in my head I know that I loved him enough to let go because logically I knew it was what I had to do, what was right for both of us so that we can both be happy and grow but my heart just hasn't gotten there yet, but I sure wish it would catch up!
I am so sorry Hisbablove! My intention was to let you know you are not alone. That many of us struggle in our relationships and try to figure out through all the confusion what is the best thing for us to do when we love someone and know that we have found our soul mate. To wish you peace and clartiy in whatever decision you determine is best for you. But now having writing my thoughts, a part of me thinks I should just delete and not post this, that I have had a difficult day and was selfish in speaking of my own turmoil but then a part of me is now starting to wonder if I have deceived myself in believing that no matter how much I have tried to convince myself I have let go, there is a part of me that is still holding on! I was confident that I was moving forward in a positive direction but now I am confused and think I need to do some analysis of my own and in need guidance myself!
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your beautiful story with me. I can feel so much of what you are feeling,even the regret. It must have been so very hard for you to recount that and open yourself to that sadness again. That was an incredibly selfless and beautiful thing you did. I don't know what to say because no words can express what that selfless act means to me.
I am still struggling,but feel closer to a decision now. Or maybe closer to being strong enough to follow through with my decision to contact him.
I will take your advice to heart and do all I can have no regrets, whatever my decision, but I know that's impossible. There will always be something overlooked, but that comes from our simple humanity.
Please DO ask for help here. This place is alive with the most wonderful people you could ever hope to meet. I am blessed in knowing them and can't imagine how I would have made it through thus far without them.
I do feel that there is more to your relationship. I need to get into it more, but I definitely feel a strong something. I will try to get to the bottom of this soon. I wish I could be in control of the "when" part...and all the other parts:) In the meantime,please DO read the soul mates thread in the forums here, ESPECIALLY the posts regarding runners,which I feel your guy was. It is invaluable. You will see.
Sending you hugs,blessings, love, and light always
I don't even want to get started on my family, but let me tell you that perhaps many of us are finding our family here, our spiritual family. That's how I feel about the lovely people I have met here. I feel I so much more in common with them than I do with my own biological family.
Just because you are different to them and don't "fit" in with them, does not mean that there is something wrong with you. A lot of us square pegs were born into families of round pegs.
Thank you for sharing that, it really was heartfelt and beautifully written and I appreciated you sharing that with all of us. I can feel the pain of what you went through, to love unconditionally like that. I really hope that you and your soulmate get there in the end, I'm still a romantic at heart who likes to think that in some cases....love conquers all!
It sounds like things are moving in a much more positive direction for you - I'm so glad! Sometimes it takes a while, but know that you have all the support in the world here. It's a pleasure to get to know you! : )
Thank you very much emereaux,. I meant everything I said in my post to you. I feel very blessed to have met you and really do look forward to getting to know you,as well!
Ditto Em! We are all here for you! I wish nothing but the brightest and best light to come into your life and light the way to happiness and joy!
Soapmaker, you got me all mushy, you dear woman. Thank you for that. You know that I wish the same for you with my whole heart.
Hugs and my heartfelt thanks and Blessings, sweets....sniff, sniff:)
Oh stop stop it's getting so deep.
Oh ladies!!!!!! Love all around!!!! Tissues? LOL Hugs to all. What a joy to have people that are so like minded to share with! Libra, it has been pouring rain here all day...That barometric pressure change was the cause for the migraine... So tomorrow I shall take your soaps to the post office. I hope you love them!
Thanks for the snap to it, Libra. We can always count on you to set us straight:) Have either of you seen my thread in "anything goes?" I'm interested in what you think.
Pass those tissues,Soap. I'm running out.
Light and Love
bab, I think that you being more grounded is perfect. It will help you see clearer and have a firmer grip on all your are going through. I know and can feel your pain. It is so hard to know it is your soul mate and that he needs to heal.
Peaceful beauty and love to you sweetheart!
Soapmaker, THANK YOU for the encouragement and blessings...It was so sweet of you. I wish the same for you. ALL of you.
yes, it DOES stink, but what can we do? I have all you wonderful ladies here and it has been such a gift.
Love and Light, lovelies:)
Changed my name, I was tired of looking at the name KittyGalore.,
I've missed you bab, I feel like we bonded on the thread Are SoulMates Real, where you opened your heart and shared your experience, on you and your soulmate..
You & others helped me Tremendously in channeling the intense pain & yearning of knowing your Soulmate, but dealing with it and not feeling like your dying inside if they are not with you...(and I will Always be Greatful)..What I realized helped me the most was talking about it, over & over, I talked & read about situations like mine in these forums...so much that I was tired of thinking about him (seriously)...and You and others were there for me to listen to me go & on & give positive feedback..So I'd like You to know that I want to be here for you to talk about it, vent, and talk about it some more until hopefully you feel strong enough with yourself..that the feelings no longer rule your emotions and have you depressed and or feeling lonely ~Because I sure could use some positive feedback now ~ My Soulmate called me about a week ago...and I never returned the call...and I never questioned my decision to not call back...I knew that talking with him was going to set off a chain or flood of emotions...Well today I ran into him, he didn't see me, but now I know where he works and what time he'll be there...he owns a lil Mystical Bookstore, that sells lots of books, crystals, reiki stones, tarot cards, ouija boards..etc..I walked in the store today, at someone else who post on this forums suggestion that I pick up some Rose quartz crystals...surprise, surprise...needless to say I was shocked, and more importantly as I sit here typing, shocked that I didnt walk up to him and just say Hi get it over with.... but Something stopped me, I was frozen in place and couldn't wait to get out of there....My marriage is perfect right now..which I got some help on this site with that too, I don't want to jeopardize my feelings going to all to H** and start questioning my sanity again...but I can't help myself from thinking about the next time that I will go in there...
Peace, Love & Light