Wise words Libra, very wise indeed ...
I'm sorry if I made anyone feel that I was ignoring any advice. That was not at all the case. I was given a lot of advice, some of it conflicting, and trying to sort it all out along with the messages the universe and my inner self were giving me. It is quite a lot at once. I thought I responded in ways that expressed that. Apparently I did not. I do apologize.
Love and Light to all.
You have nothing to be sorry about and there is no need for you to apologize. It's just that we can keep repeating and circling but your the one living it and we can't do it for you. It's tough and I know your torn but if you want any peace I think you have to really almost take him by the hand tell him you will make an appointment with someone for him to talk to and go with him. But no one can help him unless he talks to them. you aren't helping not talking because silence is a means of manipulation. And no one wants to be manipulated. And on his side of this he is manipulating you also. So your circling the wagons so to speak. We are behind you we haven't left but we only have so much advice. The rest is up to you. We may not agree but we are still here. Much love.
ok hisbablove you take care now
it's your life, your decision
I don't share things to ram them down people's throats
I share them because that is why I am here
so don't worry about not listening LOL
the only one you have to trust is your psyche
it will tell you which advice to take.
take care now and have a warm bath if you must
I honestly don't know what I am saying to make anyone think that I am not receptive and heeding the advice I was given. I don't know why I am coming across that way. You all know how sincerely I accept and appreciate your gifts. It pains me to think I made any of feel otherwise.
I had thought one course of action was what I was being directed to and then another was presented to me which made me see that maybe I HAD been wrong or maybe had been trying to force things to be my way. It was the advice that you had all given me that led me to that. It was a surprise to me and I willingly and immediately accepted that I HAD been mistaken or confusing my ego with the right thing to do.
I am going to take your advice and remove the negativity, meditate, and call him tomorrow. I found out he is with a friend who has a family situation going on, that's the only reason for the delay.
There is no need to feel like you are ramming anything down my throat, leoscorpion. I did say earlier that I not only appreciated your advice, but that I was going to immediately start working on the things you had directed me to to protect myself from the negativity.
Thank you all again. I DID and DO take your time and gifts to heart.
Blessings and Love
I'm not saying it because you said something
I'm saying it because I want to
it's just because some people think I am ramming things down their throats
I joined other forums and it happened there, I thought I need to clarify things in all forums including here so I started saying it on this thread
I am a leo, I say it as it is. so it might sound like dictating while I'm not
so anyway again I'm just sharing
take care now I'm off for a warm bath
leoscorpion-thank you for that. I didn't feel at all that you were ramming anything down my throat. I appreciate you're time and advice very much, along with your humor:) I only wanted to make sure I didn't make anyone feel that I don't appreciate everything that you all did and said. I hate that anyone felt diminished or frustrated because I didn't express myself well.
Enjoy your bath. And thank you again. I have learned a lot about seeking knowledge from you. Thank you again.
Light and Love:)
I went back and read the tarot reading that I did for you, it mentions how you love like a mother. That seems to be what's going on in your relationship. I think you have been trying to fight, it and waiting for this guy to get that aha moment and grow up and not be so draining on you. Unfortunately early childhood wounds run deep, and he might need some sort of counseling to help him deal with his abandonment issues. You might want to read some books on how not to be an enabler, so you don't inadvertently play into these tests he's constantly giving you. I think it's OK if you want to call him, if you don't I think that's fine too. Just try to remain a little detached so that you don't feel so drained when you talk to him.
I really didn't get the feeling at all that you weren't listening to or appreciating anybody's advice.
Hope everything goes well.
So very sorry that you're still in such distress.
Please forgive me, but I must say this....It all seems to revolve around him - maybe the path out of your torment should revolve around you. What is best for you at this time?
The advice they give on airplanes"...secure your own breathing mask before you assist others with theirs...." is probably the best advice in the world to follow. People can give you readings and advice all day long, but until you hear something that resonates with you, you will wander alone, in the dark. Only you can say ENOUGH! and move forward in positive energy - regardless of his emotional scars. I too am an empath and other's emotional wounds always leave me wanting to help, but at some point you have to ask, 'at what price do I take on other's problems to my own detriment?' You're not being selfish when you set boundaries, you are being smart and respectful of your own life force.
Just some food for thought.
Don't ever worry that people expect you to heed their advice or insights! It's always your choice, which is what Libra meant by leading you to water, etc. Looking at the comments made by manifestdreams and emereaux, I think they do sum it up in a nutshell for you. This man is being very childish unfortunately, but as manifest suggested above, childhood wounds run deep. He needs to acknowledge them so he can move on and stop putting his "mother" expectations on you. And emereaux's comment about putting on your own mask before helping others is right on the knocker.
Look after you. We're all here offering what we see as insights or advice for you, but once you weigh it all up, only you can decide what's best. Do you love this man enough to take him by the hand as has been suggested above? If you do, then that's your course of action. But make sure you are doing this because you love him, not because you want to "nurse" him back to emotional health, so to speak. He has to do that with the help of trained professionals.
If what you see inside of him speaks to you as worthy of your love and devotion, then do what you can for him as a devoted lover of his inner core. But try and protect that part of yourself that lays itself out like a sacrificial lamb for him; this helps no-one in the end, least of all him.
I wish you the very best my friend. This man knows he's lucky to have you, but at the moment he's displaying the pointers of that old saying "you always hurt the one you love most". You represent all things to him, including a mother, so that's why you're copping all of it. You can choose to not buy into those things you can't cope with though. That's your gift to yourself: self protection.
Bless you for being such a sweetie. I do see this fellow will come around, but he really needs to acknowledge what drives his behaviour, then take steps to deal with it, one thing at a time. With you there to support him, he can't lose. Remember that :)))
manifestdreams, I have gone back and read your reading for me many, many times and understand more eachtime. You are very right about the way I love and what you read as far as my feelings and hopes/desires for this relationship. You were exactly right about those things.
I know that kind of loving has made me an enabler in many ways. I will immediately work on putting an end to the human band-aid phase of my life.
I need to tell you that the biggest lesson I learned from you on that dark day is that of giving what I have been given. I see a posting here and remember how I felt, how you opened yourself up and helped me and I now always open myself up and help others. Every single person that has been relieved of some confusion or pain when I have reached out to them since that day has been helped and blessed by YOU and your generosity. The blessings continue and I send them back to you.
Emereaux, you were the very first person to reach out and encourage me. You were the very first light in the darkness. It was YOUR generosity and caring that kept me here and searching. It was in that searching that I learned the word "empath" and discovered what I am, as opposed to "weird" or just plain insane. You helped guide me to my self and spirit. You helped me put a name to a gift as opposed to the disease. Had it not been for your first gift of kindness, I might never have known. And I might never have met the wonderful people I have or learned about this very important part of myself. Thank you for opening the door for me to find the answers I didn't know I needed to find. You are very right in reminding me that its not only right but necessary to set boundaries.
Everything I have been given resonates in a different way.
cris1962 opened my eyes to what I might have been cloaking in good intentions.
Libraslair's advice was clear, wise, strong, and practical, just like her:)
leoscorpion's wealth of knowledge is as limitless as her desire to share and help others grow.
You and manifestdreams led me to a new path of awareness and growth.
All this and, last week, I didn't even know what an empath is. I have much to learn,much to consider, and much to seek. I am still very raw in many ways. I can't help but feel what he feels. I feel people I don't know, how can I not feel the one I love? And feeling him, it is very hard not to react, especially when I want to stop his pain just as I would want to stop anyone's pain. I am learning. I am trying my best.
Thank you all.
Light and Love and BLESSINGS
I continue to learn and grow. I
As you will bab, as you will. The path of an empath is one fraught with emotional rides, but once we learn to master the controls, it gets much smoother and easier to handle. You'll be fine, just fine, as you're open to suggestion, and are smart enough to make up your own mind what suits you. So continue being a light in the dark for others who need it, so long as you remember to shine that light on yourself as well
he has the problem, the only problem that you have is dealing with this now, he has to learn to trust and quite frankly he does not, if things are going his way he is fine, what you have to do is really really realize that you do not have to put up with this, its hard for you, but if he comes back i would tell him how it makes you feel when he behaves in an untrusting mannor, that he really does have a problem, and he will loose you if he doesnt stop this, looking above all of this, on a higher level you are a very spiritual lady very caring honest and loyal, but you dont have to pussey foot about him, break the cycle no matter how much it does hurt, get some assistance for yourself and look after you, looks like he is using blackmale tactics not that he is aware of it, to make you do what he wants, be fair but be firm, you do have a choice, dont continue on this way allowing yourself to be driven mad by another persons insecurity, you take charge of your life now and goodluck, i wish you all the very best. turn the corner and keep going,
Good morning all. Bab how are you doing today?
I do feel your confusion hon, it is that you have not made your mind up totally about what it is you will do. Trust your heart hon. It never lies..and the "mommy" syndrome is very true. I hope you see the way in your heart and find peace. You have my prayers. Chri's post above is very wise. The more you can get a control on your beautiful gift, the smoother it will be.
I have to block so much in my hearing of ghosts, because for me if I remain open to it and I am on a civil war battlefield, it sounds like a filled football stadium. They best and smoothiest way I can life is to have control over when the abilities come in loud and clear. Otherwise, I could not function in my day to day life.
Light, Hugs and Blessings to you my friend
bab I am sorry that you got confused about which way to turn. But when you gave us more information then I could see where the problem was. Always protect yourself from being drained. Then you can think clearer. Didn't mean to upset you anymore than you already were. Hope today is a little easier. Much love and Peace
Good Morning everyone,
Soapmaker, I am ok today. I've been keeping track of my emotional patterns and have noticed that I start the day fine and skid downhill later in the morning. I'm going to pay close attention this morning and see, if anything happens, what time it starts. He rises much later than I so if I suddenly start to feel differently in a few hours, that might me a good indication that I'm picking up his feelings. Then I can both know better what's going on AND protect myself from that.
You are right that I'm confused. I'm still grappling with this blessing(which sometimes feels like a curse:)) and how to control it, as well as this awful situation.
People I respect and who know so much have told me what Cris1962 has, that the immense love between us is worth fighting a little harder for and he's NOT a bad person, but a very scared and hurt.
Others remind me that this is unfair and unhealthy, that its ok to draw a line in the sand and say I've done all I can and I am letting go with love. Frankly, that hurts viciously to even think about, but I accept that it might be the end.
I want to be careful and not do anything that is going to keep us both from growing and being happy. Even if that means we separate. It is very, very sad to know that you have your soul mate right before you, have known such joy, and might now have to say goodbye. Still, I will absolutely not continue this relationship unless he gets help. He deserves to be free of this pain and I hope he does that for himself. not for me.
One thing I do know is that I need to really work on protecting and grounding, be on a bit more solid footing before I try to face him...or I might knocked down by the double whammy of his love, fear and desperation AND my own feelings and not do the right thing.
When the time comes, I will do my best to get him to seek help and free himself of this. Either way, I WILL contact him because, even it does end, I couldn't live with knowing that I let our beautiful relationship end over a ridiculous argument and didn't even say goodbye. I still hope I won't have to though:(
How does that sound?
Love, light, HUGS and blessings, you wonderful friends:)
I'm really glad to hear that you are feeling better today.
He is so lucky to have you, let's hope he realises that, because it seems to be a common problem with men, not realising what they have in front of them until they have lost it.
Just keep in mind what an awesome person you are.
"I need to really work on protecting and grounding, be on a bit more solid footing before I try to face him"
yes do this and base all your thoughts/actions/words on love when dealing with people, including him and yourself
"When the time comes, I will do my best to get him to seek help and free himself of this."
exactly. the rest of the puzzle will fall into place according to universe timing
just live your life in the positivity and balance. nurture your psyche, for it is the link to the universe guidance. that way you will always be guided.
"Either way, I WILL contact him because, even it does end, I couldn't live with knowing that I let our beautiful relationship end over a ridiculous argument and didn't even say goodbye. I still hope I won't have to though:( "
do your best. that's all the universe ask of you. his reactions, is his choice to make.
and yes, I did enjoy the warm bath.
bye now and take care. may the universe sends you protection and support.
This post is deleted!
oh wenchie, you're sweet message got me all mushy and sheepish:) Thank you for the support and love. I think they don't appreciate what they have because they get so used to getting and HAVING it. We women, as nurturing as we are, give them so much all their lives,it just becomes their "normal." How are YOU doing? You've been on my mind a lot today. Please let me know if you need anything.
Libraslair, please don't ever feel the need to apologize. Your strength is something I admire and aspire to. One quick way to get there is by example:) I know it can be frustrating when your advice seems to be overlooked and a person you're trying to help seems hell bent on pursuing their own destruction. That's why it was so important for me to clarify that I WAS listening and receptive. I'm glad you're still here,willing to share with me:)
Blessings and Light