I'm Completely Distraught

  • Virgo>>Go out tonight and start looking

    Sandran>>This is where women get stupid..I'm sorry..I'm a woman.I can say it.It's going to take time to heal.But, when I met my Aries and spent 23 years with him.I did not look for him.He was right out my front door. Literally.We were neighbors.I just kept pushing him away.He just got on my damn nerves..LOL..He was very persistant.Wouldn't leave me alone.And to a point of stalking..LOL.As much as he was a pain in my azz..For years we fought of course.But, when the interest stops then you know there is something up.I have not found this since we split up about 15 years ago.And then..when he died I still have not found that interest in another.I have met guys show an interest.But, nothing what I had.Yea..women say my old man is this and that.But, once they are gone..They are really gone for good..

  • Hurt, then you have a big blessing in your son(of course, you knew that!) and well done. When I said not to translate your hurt into something that affects him, I didn't mean that you were doing anything wrong, just that when we are so badly burned, we sometimes can't help but expose others to the feelings we are having and I wanted you to be aware of that in the case of your son. The stronger you appear to him, the more he will learn from you how to stand tall in the face obstacles. I'm sure he's seen you get through a lot. It's in how you well you handle the blows that come into every life that he will learn that nothing can destroy us if we don't allow it to. Your good example will make him a great man:)

    Its wonderful that you are so loving and open that you gave so much to someone and were willing to continue to do so in marrying him. Just be careful not to let your open heart cloud your vision in the future. This doesn't mean don't trust. It means trust but also be open to hearing and seeing what might be painful. Its not bad to have loved him and wanted to spend your life with him after knowing him a short while. In fact, it says a lot about the kind of caring person you are. But I really do feel that you had your suspicions about him for a while and didn't listen to that voice inside telling you something might be wrong. I know you're smarter than to act foolishly. Sometimes we just doubt ourselves and accuse ourselves of being overly suspicious when its in our nature to love. If you really think about it, you knew something was wrong. Now that you have found out, albeit the hardest way possible, that you have a strong and wise voice within you, trust it and let it guide you to happiness.

    Light and Blessings:)

  • Yeah...thats why I said i was hoping that I was wrong...but nope

    thank you for the compliment on my son....

  • hurt77 I am giving the same advice to a lot of people

    life is about learning and moving forward. it is not about changing what others do or say to us, it's about how we deal with it. the universe deals with us individually. what we get out of it is what we send out. if we send out negative energy, we will get it back. if we send out positive energy, we will get it back too.

    everything happens for a reason, for life is meant to learn. do not dwell in the past, for it is negative action and will invite past hurts to keep coming back to you. learn from what happened in the past then close the door. make an honest assessment about yourself, have you ever harboured anger/jealousy/sadness/wish bad luck anyone even if they are strangers. then make amends when necessary or possible. and move forward. start a new life and live it in the truth and balance, for both are positivities. lies and denials, no matter how much it will make you look stronger, are negativities and will not help you move forward. nurture your physical and your psyche in any way you can. both are important to live your life fully and experience all that the universe meant you to experience.

    there are people out there that hurt others intentionally and unintentionally. it is hard to forgive and forget them, but remember the universe deals with us individually and it will deal with them. revenge is negativity and will be returned to you, even if you feel you have the right, for you have been wronged. because we are only here to learn and move forward, the universe will take care of the rest. despair, fear (of anything including of the future), worry and sadness are also negativities. don't dwell in them and don't let these drain you. whenever you are down or start to 'sink' tell yourself This too shall pass. for they will. negative energy drain you by taking you away from hopes and bright side of life. don't give up. live your life as I described. the universe timing is not linear like us, but it always returns what we send out. when the time comes, you will find what or who you seek.

    healing and nurturing take time and efforts. give your self the time it needs and continue to live your life the way it should be lived. if you nurture your physical with balanced diet and routine exercise, nurture your psyche with spiritual exercise (you can find yoga and meditation online for free, or go with your spiritual/religious leaders and read related books) and be active go out and about for spiritual cause or meeting. Keep smiling even if your heart is in sorrow, you are spreading positivity that way plus you never know who will be attracted to your smile. base all your thoughts/actions/ words on love and tolerance. there is no need to be angry/negative to those who angered you or be negative to you. the universe knows and will deal with it. leave them in the past, for you are living your life for the future.

    PS I know how you feel. I had the same thing happened to me with a Scorp, he disappeared and I lost my job too. I had taken vacation to pick him up and follow up on our plan to settle down together but he didn't come. I was panicking and spent too long away from work not telling my boss so I was fired. I can tell you all that I have gone through but they are now in the past and I will leave them there. I understand the lessons and I am living my life the way the universe asks me to. This is all I need to do. How other people live theirs, is their choice.

    I would recommend you any book by the author Sandra Ingerman. Most specifically Heal the Toxic Thoughts. I am here to share knowledge and wisdom from the universe, I hope you will make the right choice on how to live your life.

  • leoscorpion>> thank you

  • leoscorpion...and you wonder where I got those notions of your brilliance! You continue to give and teach, despite all you've through. Bless you!

    Hurt, my best to you. You'll make it.

  • Time heals all wounds and you will come through on top. God don't like ugly.......

  • i know right?

  • WOW!! i believe every last one of us has had a situation like that. My only response is, " Faith without action, is NO Faith at all." It's OK to be single, it's OK to take your time, and It's OK to wait for god's movement. We (meaning women) control the world, we need to as a whole, quit pushing ourselves in bad situations and let the positive energy and blessings come too us. We are so caught up in the ONE, and ALL the other bullish that we hurt ourselves and don't even trust our gift of intuition that god has givin all of us. It's OK to wait:) hope this helps someone.

  • hisbablove

    LOL you are funny 🙂 there is no competition in the spirit world, therefore there is no need for it in spiritual development. nobody is more (briiliant, smart, fast etc) than others, we are equal in the universe eyes. we just have to remember to nurture psyche also, for it is our road map. how do we know what to do and where to go in life, without this map? we will keep taking the wrong turn and making wrong decision because we can't see where we are going.

    have to go now for my ritual. take care.

  • Hurt, Your very lucky to have all these amazing people here for you. In your deep sadness, please remember that. Knowing all these people are taking the time to hear you and help heal you, well, it just wonderful. It's renewed my faith in people. I wish you and your son the best life has to offer. You deserve it!!

    Good Luck hon!!

    I just want to add that it sounds like your doing a wonderful job raising your son. Looks like there will be one more good guy out there someday. This is good news for me, cuz i'm raising 4 daughters. One being 13 also. So, thanks!!

  • Yes....everyone is amazing...and i'm very grateful!! I'm sure you're doin awesome with your daughters tambien...and you will find the right one as well....you seem to be a great person,

  • Hurt77, you will be blessed keep bring up your wonder son. He in itself is a blessing. Trust me you will be bless.

  • HurT77>> Thank you! I have had some bad luck dating, I will be the first to admit that, but my love story" ended almost ten years ago. ( you didn't think i had all these kids my myself did ya??? ahh, Im just playing) I had one daughter already (my 13 yr old) when him and I met. I wish there were words to explain what it was like when I met my husband. Magical; is the closest I can come up with. I wasn't looking for a man, not in the least bit. He came out of nowhere, and the oddest thing is the a knew him all along. Not well, but I knew him. I believe with all my heart he is my soulmate. He is everything I didn't know that I needed and whated. So I know from experience that you have to get your heart broken, maybe break a few hearts yourself, for you to be the person you need to be for your "one true love". I pray you find all the love and happeness that I have found. Good Luck!!

    (oh, it's not all perfect, he can be the biggest pain in the azz, and my back, and my leg and well you get it, I just wanted to make it clear my lifes not all roses. When your "love" finds you (and he will) you want to work at it even when you don't want to work at it. Hope you know what I mean.Basically, what I'm trying to say is that you will know when its him, You wont wonder "Is this him" cuz you will know. Also working on the relationship wont be 'work' - just an everyday struggle.LOL

    Peace, Love and Light (Prayers too) ~ Wendy

  • Wendykaye,

    Very well said. almost the exact same thing happened to me, (as far as you and your husband). it's good to hear it sometimes.:)

  • Hurt77,

    So sorry that things didn't turn out better, but so glad you received so much support. You're a very strong and beautiful woman, and even tho this was a devastating breach of trust, it will not hold you back - you are very determined and will let go of this more easily than you thought you could. Good things are coming your way - despite the bumps in the road............Keep the faith!


  • Shinyluv>> Your exactly right, it is nice to hear. Like so many others things, you hear about the bad and the good gets set aside. Theres been quite a few times I don't share how my husband and I came to be cuz of the way people react (negitively). Maybe, the two of us will give hope to the ones who are still waiting for their 'happily ever after'.

    Hurt>> You sound so much better. I'm glad you have found some peace in all the madness. I'm honestly very impressed with the way you have handle yourself/ your son and the situation. You truly have a huge heart. Now get out there and kick some azz, your awsome, you'll be just fine. Besides, we are all here if and when you need us.

    Peace, Love and Light. ~ Wendykaye

  • Well I don't call it bad luck with dating. I call it auditioning and eliminating. Seeing the worst so you will recognize a diamond.

  • Thank you....it is a comfort having such wonderful people as ya all! It still hurts of coarse, and I thought I would have some kind of ill feelings towards him.....I have none. I only have love for him still and always. I hope and pray that he can find happiness and stop using others as stepping stones for his own pleasure or comfort. You all are truely a blessing!!! Thank you again for ur support, and for just being here. Love, Peace, and Understanding.....Hurt77

  • hurt77

    one important lesson the universe wants us to learn by sending life challenges

    is for us to recognize our inner strength

    a broken heart can prompt us to create two things of equally powerful

    life in hate and vengeance, or life in warmth and open hearted ready for next opportunity life has to offer

    you are broken hearted and yet still and always love him

    may the universe shares you love and support from its abundance

    for you only sends love and love supports life

    your life, life of your children, life of your next relationship

    you will not regret making this choice

    bye and take care

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