I'm Completely Distraught

  • How long have you known this guy? When was the last time you've seen him? Just trying to make sense of the whole situation. I hope everything is ok with his health and family.

  • No, his dad is alive and well. So is his sister. I still can't wrap my brain around it. Some men are capable of the most awful things. It's usually the ones you least expect too! He was a great guy, dependable, sweet, loving/caring. A great father to his two children. I just don't understand it. Was I some experiment or something? did he get off on pulling one over on me? I'm not gulliable, I always thought of myself as a very intelligent women. But, I loved him, I guess love really is blind. I'm glad you have never met a man like this, I pray you never do!!!!

    Trust this: If he seems to good to be true: He probably is!!!

  • TO everyone who has posted>> I have not been on for a day or so... I've just been tryin to deal with it. I have the lastest update....and final. I have done some research. I to don't understand why men do what they do. Yes, they have somethin major wrong with them. But tonight I finally got closure, although it's not what I was wanting or needing to hear. Harold, in fact has lied all the way as far as I know. All I know is that he's sick minded, he's bringing bad karma not to only himself but to his family. His aunt never died....and he never had a stroke. It all was a lie! He was avoiding me because he does have another girl....and was not man enough to admit it. I cant believe he is that sick, that heartless.

  • Hurt77,

    I am so sorry to hear that he is such a jerk. What a creep doing that to you and treating you that way. Thank goodness you found out now what he was like before marrying him. You deserve so much better.

    I know you must be feeling devastated right now, but you just hang in there because the right guy will come along one day soon and he won't be jerking you around. The liars and cheaters, let them go to the other women, you don't want someone like that in your life.

    Wenchie 😞

  • @hurt77 --- I HAD to join in today after I read your latest post (yes, have been following all that you went through but didn't think I could contribute in any way so stayed out)!!! What Harold has done is by no means going to go unnoticed by the forces!!! I'm just personally feeling glad you found out in time!! The As***** got no balls...and I pity the other woman!!! I'll pray for your well-being when I sit down tonight. And like Wenchie said, there WILL be a better man coming along soon...you just take care of yourself until that happens...

  • Hurt>>Harold, in fact has lied all the way as far as I know. All I know is that he's sick minded, he's bringing bad karma not to only himself but to his family. His aunt never died....and he never had a stroke

    Sandran>>Sorry..But, I felt this before posting the first initial post.I took one look at him and It says player all over it.I was hoping my feelings were wrong because sometimes this intuition stuff is scary.I am more hurt at the fact that a grown azz man would put someone through the misery of having a stroke.when I seen it first hand.It is a matter of life and death.Man..what a piece of chit this guy was to lie like that.

  • Sandran>>Did he have a stroke or did someone tell you he had a stroke?.He looks like a guy that would easily want to stray..I'm sorry..I have high intuiton

    Sandran>>These were my words at the very first post..I sensed bad vibrations with this guy from the get go.But, I try to hear out the whole story.Because I hate feeling everything.That damn Pices Moon..LOL

  • I know you probably do not want to hear this but I think the guy is lying to you. I know you can't judge a book by it's cover, however, he really does look like a player. His stance as he took the picture; the way he looks into the camera as the picture was taken - it all screams "player" to me. The wedding should be "top priority" and if he really had a stroke someone should insist that you show up to see him. I don't want to hurt you but I really believe the guy is secretly seeing someone else. You are a really beatiful woman you deserve a great guy. My advise is to tell everyone to hold off until you confirm his story or find out what the real deal is.

  • Thank you guys so much for the support. Im broken hearted and thanks to him there is a steel wall around my heart....but like ya all said, better to know now. I now have closure, and i'm at peace knowing that he's actually alright....I've yet to tell my son. Yes....I believe whole heartly in Karma and it can be a mother fucker, expecially when you do things he does. But then again on that note, why is it that I always end up getting screwed over? I treat people the way I would want to be treated.....ppl take advantage all the time. It not only sucks, but hurts.

  • Before I read your latest comment I sent my earlier post, sorry. I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling I have been there and it hurts like h***. Trust me it will get better. By the way, I didn't think he was handsome at all. You two would not have been matched if it had worked out. Not in the morals, obviously, and not in the "looks" department either. You are much better looking 🙂 Good luck to you and better to have found out now rather than after the marriage!! There is someone one out there much better for you. Go out tonight and start looking 🙂

  • Hurt77>> I'm so sorry! I know exactly how you are feeling right now. There's nothing that can be said to ease the hurt your feeling (and I wish there was) However, we are all here for you. There's all these amazing women here to listen to you. I think talking about it really helped me through. Your right, karma's a B****, and he's messed with her. I would normally say I feel sorry for him (for whats gonna happen to him) about I DON'T!! I wont get into what eventually happened to the guy I was dating, but Karma got'em. This may sound awful, but somehow it made me fell better.

    Also, to have to explain this 'grown-up" situation to your son must be as much of a heart-break as the break-up itself. I'm so sorry!! My heart goes out to you and your son. How old is he?

    Theres someone for you, you just need to heal first (I suggest avioding the "rebound" relationship) going out to soon could break some elses heart. When your truly ready he will find you.

    Love and Light

  • Hurt, hon, I've tried to keep my mouth shut for days, hoping I was wrong and because I knew you wouldn't want to believe it. I still hope and pray I'm wrong, but I feel like a heel at least not telling you and knowing you're suffering. I feel strongly that he is lying to you, that he was someone else, another relationship, maybe a wife. I may be wrong. I hope I am. But if I'm not, then please now this is a very temporary thing and the right one is very near to you and staying here, in this loving,supportive place will help you immeasurably. I am SO sorry.

    Love and Peace

  • well I posted that without reading the previous posts because I didn't want to chicken out seeing your pain. I sorry. You will be ok. I feel that this is a very temporary pain. You aren't alone in it.

    Blessings and Hugs

  • Wendykaye>>Sad to say this...but i so cant wait til she kicks him in his azz....and as bad as this hurts, I still wouldn't wish what I'm goin through on him. My son just turned 13 oct. 10th. He is never going to believe that any man is good enough for me, and I know he will have trust issues with any man. uggh

    Thank you for ur support!

  • Hisbabelove>> Thank you so much...that was what i dreading, but now it's out there. He is actually making plans with her to get married as well. 😞 I just hope that she sees him for who he is, and does not make the mistake. She sounds wonderful, I spoke with her last night. What do you mean the right one is very near and staying here??

  • PEACE AND MANY BLESSINGS TO ALL OF YA! Ya all are truely an enlightment for my heart

  • Hurt, I mean that the right man for you is very near to coming into your life.

    I DO have to say that you need to work on getting that negativity out of your life, especially not translating it to your son. He will only have trust issues if YOU put that before him. Telling him that sometimes good people do bad things,or that we all have choices and choosing to lie or take advantage of others is something that reflects badly on the person making those wrong choices ONLY reflects on THAT person, not ALL people is important. Tell him that life is full of lessons and while some of them may be hard to learn, you are glad that you have the opportunity to learn. From this hard lesson, you know that you are trusting and loving,that you're heart is open and it will stay open because you choose to love, not because someone chose to lie. Also, he's 13 and he loves his mom. He doesn't need to know all the gory details. He just needs to know you saw the truth, are glad you did, and even though your feelings are hurt, you're ok and moving on.

    I have to ask this because I have had this feeling for a while. You didn't know this guy very long, did you? I feel that you didn't spend a lot of time with him prior to this. Am I right?

    When I said stay here, I meant on this site. There are many kind and smart people here who will help you through this.

    Blessings and Light to you as you continue on your way to real, lasting happiness!

  • Hi hurt77 I have read your post. Wow if that was not a kick in the head I sure don't know what is!

    Please consider taking this drop of advice. Just one drop. First never post your real info on a public forum. Somebody might want to hurt you. The world is filled with nuts. Second, you are a cute girl! I am sure you hear that alot-- but you really are! Have you seen what's out there??? I'm sure pleanty of women are envious of you.

    These two books helped my best girlfriend maybe they would help you too. "why men love bitches" and "why men marry bitches".

    Please always wish good-- even for your enimies-- and if you dont want to wish good then just erase them from your thoughts. It will only attract bad to you if you wish bad on others. Try watching "The Secret" I bet you'll find it interesting.

    Much luck and happiness to you.

  • hisbablove>> i dont tell my son everything, i know he loves me, he is just very protective. That is one thing I can say that I've done....ALWAYS told him the truth...but never any major details, its not his place to know any of that nor is it his worries, afterall he is a child. 🙂 Yes you are right.

  • Moonbeauty>>Thank you...I am careful on wishing anything bad on anyone....I just know that karma comes around, and i know he'll get the karma that is due to him. I would never wish anyone to feel the hurt. Thanks for the recomendations....I will check them out

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