Romantic advice! help!
Hi, first off, let me just say thanks to anyone who can help me. I am extremely confused and I'm not sure where my life is heading.
My birthday is 8/7/86. I am married, his birthday is 6/24/86. We've been fighting a lot lately, mostly due to finances. He seems extremely unhappy and I feel like a lot of it is my fault. I've reacquainted with an old high school friend. He and I have both taken an interest in each other. I don't like the idea of divorce and even more abhor the idea of cheating. What I'm wondering is if my husband and I will work things out and be together or if things will continue to fall apart. This is a lose-lose situation, it seems. Is there any light at the end of this tunnel? What should I do?
I'm not a psychic so I'm just giving you advice on the situation you've described. You said you abhor the idea of cheating, but you seem to have gone to some sort of length to reaquaint yourself with someone you have feelings for. You need to decide how important your marriage is to you and how much you're willing to work on it. It's a partnership that is full of ups and downs and working through the tough times together can only serve to strengthen your bond. Are you using this relationship with your friend as a way of running away from real problems? Because from your post it seems as if you still love your husband and want to work things out with him. Have you sat down with your husband and had a proper heart to heart? Talked about the issues you're facing and how you can get through it together? I'm sure your husband would be hurt if he knew you had developed feelings for someone else. Please don't go down the cheating route, it will end up hurting you both very much. Remember what caused you to fall in love with each other, I'm sure it wasn't money. Money shouldn't be the reason for you to split up either. If there is love, trust, respect and honesty, I'm hopeful that you can work things out. I wish the best for you and hope everything works.
The last sentence should read "...and hope everything works out" : )
You can answer this on your own.You have more control over this outcome than you realise--or, maybe you do--you did say you feel some responsability for his unhappiness. I've been married 38 years. Marraige is work. Just loving each other is not enough. Relationships are tested by many things. Your intention and focus needs to be extra clear soon or you will get an event that will force you to decide--you must be careful to not get the outcome you really didn't want. You can not give energy to two men right now and have anything good come from it. These ARE rough times and a marriage is going to be tested. Be clear in your heart as to what you really want. If it's your husband then you need to work hard to preserve it through hard times. If you don't love him and want out you still need to close that door first.