Libra -the great disappearing act!!!

  • Can anyone help me? My fiancé, who is also the father of my children, comes up missing for several hours a few nights a month. For example, he will tell me he is going to the store at 8 PM and not come home until 4 AM. I have questioned him about this and he tells me that he will disclose his whereabouts and what he is doing when he is ready. I don’t know if there is another woman or he is gambling or doing some kind of drugs. I just don’t know! Sometimes he will spend a few hundred dollars when this happens. This behavior is causing trust issues in our relationship not to mention financial stress. Does anyone have any insight into this? My birthday is 06/01/1971 and his birthday is 10/17/1970.


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  • Well, maybe but if he was going to the strip club with his buddies, I won’t care. I don’t have any hang ups with the strip club. Also, he always tells me that strip clubs aren’t enticing to him.

  • luvslife my birthday is the day after his and I would never dream of acting like that. You are asking therefore you must really feel he is cheating. Whether with another person or gambling or drug. That is cheating. He is cheating his family out of financial responsibility and other things he needs to be there for. And addictions are crazy. People who are addicted to something aren't capable of loving anyone as much as they love the addiction. I think you children come first but that is me. I think if he is keeping secrets he is hiding important information and is afraid of what you will do. You aren't married yet and that may be a good thing. I would ask him what he is hiding and then if he keeps playing the game you may have to tell him that one of you have to put the kids first and he needs to be a willing player as a parent. Tell him if he needs to get some help you will be there but not to wait very long because the kids have to be taken care of. I am sorry that your having such a hard time with your man. I hope it helps and things get better.

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  • A few hundred dollars can buy a hooker... a good one or one that is into S&M.

    It is a shame that he will not tell you what goes on, the very fact that he is being secretive only shows his lack of trust in you, your relationship, and will continue to keep secrets.

    I wonder... is it the same nights every month? say the 15 th or 20th etc?

    Is it the same week days? wed or fri etc?

    Are you having financial difficulties?

    Often we jump to the conclusion that it is all bad. He must be having an affair, doing drugs, getting a hooker.... but there COULD be a good reason.

    Maybe he has a part time job to earn a little extra for some special gift.

    I do not have any insight (psychic) but I want you to remember that it could be a negative reason but it could be a positive reason.

    You can sit him down and tell him.. point blank:

    I feel unhappy when you will not confide in me. I feel that you do not trust me. I feel that you do not trust our love when you refuse to tell me where you disappear to. This is an issue that is affecting our relationship.

    If you use "I" statements and not "you" ones... then the person does not feel attacked or on the defensive.

    "I feel" gives him the knowledge that what he does is hurtful... without pointing out bluntly that fact.

    Good luck to you and your children.

  • Sable is right we do jump. And she is right for you to say when you do this it makes me feel what ever you feel. His actions make you feel a certain way. On the money. Sorry I didn't think of it.

  • Thanks you all for the responses. I have stayed up waiting on him a few times. He may smell like beer but he doesn’t appear drunk. Sometimes when he does this he won’t even be cleaned up. That is why I don’t really think it is another woman but maybe she doesn’t care about his hygiene. I have tried to check his pupils, etc. He seems pretty normal but he does act exhausted and will sleep like a baby. Maybe I shouldn’t think that he is doing something bad but my gut feeling is that he is doing something that is harmful.

  • maybe it's gambling or drug dealing. any thing of criminal stuff

    to sell drugs he has to buy them first, right? so that could be where the money goes

    all libra men I know are cheaters but doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you

    they are good at keeping secrets, they can live two lives, sleeping with one woman and come back home to another

    but at least he said he will tell you when he is ready, so this doesn't seem like a bad thing to me

    although it doesn't mean it's not harmful to everyone else including himself

    if he is cheating or seeing a pros*** I think he will say "nothing, hon. just going out with guys"

    but he said he will tell you when he is ready, so don't get too upset about it

    just be prepared for the worst and remind him to tell you, just in case he forgets

  • leoscorpion,

    Seems like you know a good deal about Libra men. He never has any more money just less and nothing to show for it. I live in a pretty small town so I don't even know if he could have easy access to a prostitute. I guess I just have to be patient and hope that this weird behavior stops. This is my first Libra relationship. Typically, I attract Cancer, Virgo and Gemini. So they are good at living two lives? I could easily see that...

  • luvsmylife

    I had dealt with quite a few of them. they like spending too, especially for the ones they love or even lust. and yes they are good at living two lives, not necessarily mean they are born liars, they just seem to be able to balance things and so living two lives won't be much of a problem than others in the same situation.

    so if it's not prostitute, you can probably narrow the possibilities down. seems to me he is actually investing the money for something, not sure if it's for you. you said he doesn't appear drunk but acts exhausted, sounds like something that require his mind to be working.

    LOL libra men. I gotta stop here before analyzing too much. hope he will tell you soon.

  • Libra men are good at lying, the only thing is... they cant remember their lies. I was with a Libra for 13 years he went from one addiction to another but they never cheat that is one thing I will say about them they are faithful. I could not take the lying anymore.

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