Pining over my Ex-Scorpio Husband
I am looking for answers as to why I cannot let go of my ex-husband. I am recently divorced and was separated from him for several months before we divorced. I am Gemini with Taurus tendencies so I have been told. Anyway here is my story:
Me and my ex lived together for little over 10yrs and married for 4 of those yrs. I dont have children and he has 3. It was a big adjustment for me considering kids and he had two ex-wives and he being about 9yrs older than me and I was pretty independent. We had ups and downs in our relationship but we actually never really argued until about 3yrs ago. This about the time our children moved out and got married and thought it was empty nest he was experiencing. Then he had back surgery which he said I wouldn't help him get dressed because he was hurting so badly. I knew he was hurting but he never expressed how badly and I was raised to suck it up which I know sounds mean but never intended to be so cold. I should also mention we were always together even when it came to work. We worked at the same places most of the time. We met at work. I tended to take care of all of our needs financially. I know I am jumping around here but trying to keep from writing a novel. Anyway...Some where a long the way we lost each other. I trusted him with my life and would have done anything for him but at the same time felt that something was missing from my life because I am really close to my family and was really homesick a lot. He said he didn't keep them from me but I always felt he did so I just stayed away. Some of my friends said he controlled me and I allowed it and that wasn't me. I think back and maybe he did but I know I would run that interference with our kids because I saw he would do that to them. I left him one weekend after he told me to leave ( I was hurting a lot during this time and didn't want to go home because he shut me out almost completely) and he searched for me all weekend. I know its crazy. I did go back but he threatened some of my friends so I went back. With all this craziness at the end, I don't understand why I can't let it go. We do work at the same place again but I had to finally make him leave me alone but I didn't really help matters any even though he is dating some again and I am not. I honestly think I am stupid or crazy or both but I really want to get past it all and move on. Advice please.
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I too was with a Scorpio for a shorter period than you. The similarity that I see in your story is this. Your ex and mine are men that tend to look for a strong woman that can take care of them and the headaches that they don't want to deal with. Yes we loose ourselves and the ones that care for us due to these men. I managed to keep my identity and walked out as soon as the arguments started. We weren't married but we have a son together. I am a Scorpio.
I can go and give you and advice but all I can say is it gonna take time and you need to develop a strong will when you see or are around him. Because he knows where to push your buttons for you to feel as a mess eventhough there wouldn't be a need for it.
What i did is I moved to another city. Started over. Set up rules in how to contact me when necessary and STICK to it. You need to find yourself again. You gave your all and that's it. Divorce is done.
Your a beautiful person reconnect with that again and shine because when you except it the least you might run into that next person who will appreciate what you are all about.
And oh.. don't ever get jealous of that new person he is with. You know what you left and for good reason you left. Let her see what she will do with him. Never, ever worry because if you do...he will always have control of you. Believe me.
Sorry..Hokte ...got your name wrong
Saw some typo's in my post: * I can go and give you an advice. * because when you expect it the least.
Thanks for the comments...I know I will make it through all this but sometimes think I am half crazy but work tends to keep me pretty busy and as the days pass it gets easier. When I finally do let it all go I will wonder what took me so long. Thanks Again!
Your welcome. And no your not crazy...just human. Work can be your medicine now but do put some leisure into the mix for yourself. Think back what gave you much pleasure before you met him and give that a go again.
Your not crazy, love is never wrong, just lack thereof, you'll get past it in good time if it wasn't healthy, then you know you did the right thing, even though its hurts for awhile, that was a long period of your life to let go of, now that your not in the middle of it, you have alone time, or time too feel everything, it will pass, just keep reminding yourself why you left, and what you would like to look forward too, get a picture of what you want in your mind, to counteract the sad feelings.