Need advice from Gemini women
Ladies, please help me out here. I know most Gemini's hate to read long dissertations, but please bear with me. I'm a Sagittarius that has totally fallen for a Gemini. I've read that our signs will hit it off and then burn out as fast as they started. I'm trying to figure out if that's what is happening now.
Here's the backstory(I'll try to keep it as brief as possible):
I met her two days shy of a month ago. We have mutual friends and went to high school together(we're both 38 now) I was out with one of our mutual friends and when I met her, there was an instant attraction. We both ended up getting up pretty drunk the flirting got a bit intense, but in the end we didn't go home together or anything like that.
I Facebooked her the next morning and we made plans to go out again. Which we did the following weekend, along with the same mutual friend. We had a blast and ended up drinking a bit much and sleeping together. We went out to breakfast the next morning and took a walk at a park near her house. We talked about everything under the sun, including our past relationships and her two girls(4 and 2) and my son(18) and among other things- our Zodiac signs. We made plans to go out again the next weekend.
We couldn't stay away from each other. We were texting each other and calling each other 20 times a day. I went over every night after she put her kids to bed. Believe it or not, we only slept together once more in all that time, so it wasn't just some physical thing. Initially, she said it would be a long time before I met her kids, but that didn't last. She came by my place on her way home from work with her youngest about two weeks into our relationship. The next day I met her 4 year old. Her kids are so cute they totally melted my heart.
So midway through the week before we are supposed to go out for the third time, her youngest gets sick with a really bad fever. She calls me freaking out, which made me feel incredibly priveleged. I mean, a mom is worried about her daughter and I'm the first person she calls besides the doctor? That's gotta mean something, right? So I go up to her house to provide moral support. By the end of the week, her daughter is almost better, but her oldest seemed like she might be catching it. So now she can't leave the girls with a sitter. Totally understandable. She bascially tells me to go out without her with our mutual friend(who is a guy and also my best friend)
She was texting me while I was out and was clearly feeling a bit jealous and insecure about me being there. (She's been burned before) So me and my friend ended up hanging out with a group of girls while we were there. Totally innocently. They are all married women and a couple of them even had there husbands there, plus my girl is friends with all of them. This was basically the only reason I decided to go out since I knew she'd know if anything happened, it would get right back to her. So I did a bit of dancing with two of the married women. Totally nothing going on- just dancing. There were some pictures taken, and they ended up on Facebook the next day. My girl got very jealous and pissed off when she saw them. She didn't flip out, but she clearly wanted me to leave- so I did.
When I got home I wrote a long email to her basically explaining that I didn't like the feeling of having to defend myself for something I didn't do and that nothing happened and I had zero interest in anyone other than her. I also told her I didn't try to hide anything because I had nothing TO hide. I said if I was guilty of anything it was not understanding exactly what she expected from me at this point in our relationship. The next morning she texts me and apologizes saying she didn't know why she reacted that way. She also offered the same apology when she called later. Then we went back to normal as if nothing happened. At least SHE did. I started to get more and more paranoid simply because I've never met a woman who could just let something go like that, so I kept waiting for something to surface. I tried to get her to talk about her feelings which made her a bit hostile.
Midway through this past week (which would be the fourth week of our relationship) I pretty much had a total mental spin out. Things just never felt the same since she got pissed and it may likely have just been my imagination. I just couldn't get a read on her and it was driving me nuts. So I casually told her if she had any doubts about me, now was the time to tell me because I was really starting to get attached to her kids.(who warmed up to me instantly by the way) She suggested maybe we should see each other when the girls weren't awake/around. When i asked how she felt, she said 'one day at a time' and didn't want to talk about it beyond that. So when I got home that night shot off another email explaining how I felt frustrated an unable to reconnect with her. I said I thought she was right and we shouldn't see each other around the kids if we couldn't at least open up to each other. No response. I waited a day- still no response.
The next morning I sent her a text saying I hoped she was having a good day and that the girls were feeling better that and I missed her. She told me the girls were better and things were going well. Then she sends a text saying 'miss you too'.
Now she was supposed to go out with one of her girlfriends Saturday night. I have to be honest, I half expected her to give me some payback or something and post pics of herself flirting with some guys at the bar. She never gave me cause to think this, but I've met many woman like that. At this point I was regretting all the soul-spilling email bs I had done and wished I had just shut my mouth, manned up, and rode out my own emotional storm. I had flowers sent to her at work on Friday in a random sort of way, just to let her know I was thinking of her. I had the card read: 'I hope these flowers brighten your day like thoughts of you brighten mine.' She texted me as soon as she got them thanking me and saying I shouldn't have. Later that evening, she called me. I was driving a friend of mine somewhere and she offered to call back. I told her when I'd be home so she could. She never did, but sent me a text before she went to bed saying she was on the phone with her aunt most of the night.
This brings us to yesterday when she is supposed to go out with her friend. I fought the urge to contact her all day, just telling myself if I could make it through this weekend I'd be okay. Finally about 6 pm she texts me asking what I'm up to. (My heart almost popped out of my chest.) I told her I was getting a lot of stuff done around the house and was missing her like crazy. She then tells me she doesn't even feel like getting ready to go out. So I play it cool and tell her I hope she has a good time, but if her plans fall through to call me. She says okay. I don't hear from her again last night.
This morning I woke up early and coouldn't get back to sleep, which is how I ended up on this forum posting this novel. I had also posted something random on Facebook which she must have seen because she sent me a text asking what I was doing up so early and telling me she ended up staying home and falling asleep on the couch. It took me a half hour before I saw the text and respond. I was in the middle of typing when she called. We had a pretty long chat about mostly random stuff and then she had to head to work so she asked if she could call me back. I figured I woudln't hear from her, so I waited a few minutes and sent her text saying how glad I was that she called and how great it was to hear her voice. She called back again later and we chatted some more and I mentioned that I thought maybe I made a mistake and that I missed and wanted to see her. She basically repeats my sentiments from earlier in the week. Saying things happened too fast and it scared her. (Almost MY exact words in the last email) She said maybe after her girls were in bed tonight if she wasn't too tired.
I am going so crazy inside over this I don't know what to do. At this point it would almost be a relief if she told me to go away. It would hurt, but it would still be a relief. Until I met her, I had sworn off on women and relationships. This is gonna sound crazy, but it all started when she took my hand to lead me out on to the dance floor the night we first met. I literally felt a sort of warm wave of energy shoot through her arm into mine. That energy seemed to lodge itself inside of me and gradually swell over the next few days pushing out my cynicism and replacing it with a lust for life I have never truly know to this degree.
So any Gemini women out there want to give some tips or insight? PLEASE- it would be greatly appreciated.
Hey, I am a typical Gemini girl, but saying that, I have a lot of Cancer in my chart so yea that makes me even more confusing.
I can tell you one thing that you did wrong, something that drives me nuts. You had drama in your relationship, she vented about your facebook pics, you discussed it and then things went back to normal. Thats exactly what probably happened for her, well at least me. If somethings on my mind I will say it, I will vent and then I will be done and things will continue as normal. I dont really want to go back over it and get all emotional and discuss it, if I say it's cool then its cool. Throughout all my relationships I have been told that I'm not open or emotional enough, well at least to the degree of which a male might expect a female to be. Beleive me, if i'm pissed off about something you will know about it.
The second thing that stood out to me here is you chased her, you made it really complicated and somewhat easy for her. All that drama would be a major turn off to me unless I was pushing the issue or fact. I am attracted to men who remain a little elusive, interesting, guys who make me think and work at things, I hate things to be easy and just handed to me. So I would say, dont be so accomodating to her, dont be so needy and just get on with life and enjoy yourself but stil keep in contact. I cant help it but I flutter from one interesting thing to another, I love to get my thoughts into things. Make her want to come to you and spend time with you, but dont drown her with complicated relationship details, she will become overwhelmed and run away fast to something more fun loving. If there is an issue you will know about it! She has children so I guess her life is more complicated than mine but maybe organise something fun & exciting you lot can do together. Organise to pick them/her up and take then for a surprise outing and move forward with your relationship and forget the complications as they are not that big a deal. I get down when things are boring & regular and start looking for the next exciting thing to keep me amused. From late twenties female (June 12th)
Another thing, if I'm into you it will be obvious because I will make time for you, talk & share things with you etc. If i'm not interested you will know because I will be nowhere to be seen, I will be gone. I can't act like I like you or just be nice cause I don't want to hurt your feelings, I just don't have time for those games. So basically it's easy to know where you stand. Also I will probably rarely say how I feel about you but I will constantly show you by my actions. I'm a busy girl & there is a point to everything just pay attention and you will see my feelings.
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it. I guess I pretty much panicked, which is nuts because I've had a few serious relationships before. Something about this one really has a grip on me.
At any rate, things seemed to have fixed themselves. I just got home from a wonderful evening with her and the kids. (For the second day in a row) Things feel normal again. I'm pretty intuitive and I know she hadn't truly resolved the Facebook episode before, but now I can tell she's back 100%.
I get what you're saying about keeping it interesting and I'm going to try not to forget that. Thanks again!