Have i lost my cancer b/f for good ?



  • Lua

    hardship of all kinds are meant for us to overcome and learn from

    there is no single person always right always lucky always successful

    every living being, even animals, deserve love. because without love, there is no life

    the past belongs to the past

    learn from your wrongs and rights. then close the door, don't dwell in it.

    he played you for a fool, not because you are a fool

    but because he didn't accept you for who you really are, therefore he didn't deserve you

    do not identify yourself with anything aside from who you really are

    you are not a fool or a loser, in fact there is no such a thing

    every one has their share of ups and downs

    what matters is how you deal with them

    would you learn and move forward? or dwell in the past and live in fear ?

    because that's what dwelling in the past does to you

    your clarity is blurred, you can't see the road ahead, you can't see the man for who he really is

    you can't tell whether he is lying or truthful - all of this because you place past hurts in front of you, while you supposed to see only the road ahead, to the future

    turn off mind chatter. the mind fears the unknown.

    it can not understand matters of the heart, and so when your heart is broken,

    the mind records this experience and build a defense mechanism

    like a thick wall around you, so that you will never be hurt again

    this certainly works with viruses and bacterias and all kinds of cautions to physical injuries

    but not when it comes to matters of the heart

    because the heart knows that as long as it is still beating, it can love

    your heart might be broken, but it is still beating

    so you don't need a wall, you only need a protective layer

    you don't need to stop loving, you just have to be cautious next time

    Mercury retro, brings old issues that you haven't dealt with properly before

    your broken heart has halted you from loving again

    this is what I mean by 'not dealing with old issue properly'

    because he belongs to the past, not your current. 19 years is long enough.

    tell him what you want to tell him, or don't bother at all

    but to every other guy, don't fear falling in love again

    they have nothing to do with your ex

    take care now Lua. I'm going to post more fruits for hungry ladies in the other thread

    I'll spare a few for you and the ladies here

    Smile, be warm 🙂



  • found your south american hunk

    Raynaldo Gianechinni whatever LOL forgot his real name

    not bad for eye candy, just need some peeling...

    and another one, Spanish banana, served tanned

    Aitor Mateo

    seems like he could use that UV lotion you're holding...wanna rub it on him?



  • Leoscorpio-

    This mercury in retro is really something. My friend has just told me about it last week, that it brings back old unresolved issues...I really never thought I would ever hear from him again...all the way from Brazil..I left Brazil many years ago..19 years..I don't know how I am supposed to deal with this. Did he just write to me just so I will be aware that I have not dealt with this? He was not a fool, I was the fool..it was so hard for me to get over him because he seemed so perfect...no one else seemed to compare..yes i know I shouldn't compare, but he treated me so well., no other man has treated me that way...I was just young and I got scared.I was influenced also by my mother and I listened to her instead..

    yes, I built a wall...my heart still beats but does not want to get hurt again...

    I got this on twitter today:

    "A broken heart is an open heart, an open Heart attracts real Love. Pain kills the Ego and awakens the Heart"

    My mind chatter saids "no one can be as good as my ex was" "I'll never find someone like him again, I had found him and let him go"...I know it's time to let go and take a chance at loving someone else...but here I am starting to feel my heart open a little, and it's with a cancer guy that that seems so distant..so hot and cold...so I put on the brakes.

    I don't know what this means...it's stirring up so much inside me.

    You found Reynaldo Gianichini..another Brazilian/Italian banana..my cancer guy is Brazilian/Italian but doesn't look like that, haha. the Spanish one is one Hot banana-he's ripped!! You can see his veins, sign of very low body fat-that's the body builder in me talking...



  • Lua

    if anything, Mercury retro is not helping communication

    try not to act on the old issues until the retro is over on Jan 16

    chances are, whatever it is, will disappear into thin air after this date

    if he still contacts you after this date

    try to deal with him properly, that he belongs to the past

    you will love again someday, be it your ex or not

    take your time and take it slow

    after Mercury retro, things will clear up, be it your mind or in general



  • "Did he just write to me just so I will be aware that I have not dealt with this? "

    I mean that the universe wants you to deal with things properly. Not necessarily what he wants. That;s why the old issue is brought up because you need to deal with it and then move on.

    If you are not sure, take your time until retro is over.

    "He was not a fool, I was the fool."

    Nobody is a fool. I was giving example of a man playing a woman for a fool. I didn't know what happened between you and your ex until I read your last post. Whatever happened, is in the past. Let go, so that your heart can love again. It's hard, I've been in your shoe, but it will happen.

    Aitor sure is beautiful 🙂



  • yes, what I meant to say is that the Universe wanted me to deal with this, not him...

    OK I will wait until after Jan 16..I just sent a short message back asking how he was..I didn't reveal anything about me or how i was feeling..

    So mercury in retrograde inhibits communication? Just as well that I won't see my cancer guy until Jan 26...I am also getting a ton of e-mails from my Leo stalker..my intuition is telling me not to open them..have a feeling he is unleashing his anger at me and I can't deal with it now.

    I am still not sure what or how I am supposed to deal with this issue but now I can accept that I will love again. For me that is a step in the right direction, I used to tell myself I will never love again.



  • lua

    yes. communication is stalled in a way. if you send anything, it may take longer to get to recipient or get lost for unknown reason. if you buy anything electronic or machinery, it will not operate as you expect. plans that you make during retro, may have to be adjusted or postponed. you may even misplace things and lose them altogether.

    you won't be affected if you buy or send it, prior to the retro. or if you plan something prior to the retro. but this is a wild guess, since Mercury is a slow moving planet. so if the retro official date starts dec 26, the effect can actually be felt weeks prior to that date.

    On top of that, Mars retro on Dec 20 and eclipse on Dec 31 and Jan 15.

    What a start of new year huh?



  • eoscorpion: urn off mind chatter. the mind fears the unknown.

    it can not understand matters of the heart, and so when your heart is broken,

    the mind records this experience and build a defense mechanism

    like a thick wall around you, so that you will never be hurt again

    katie: i understand all this, but i have a question. so what is the right way to deal with a heartache? just not think of it (i always thought that is not getting over but only repressing so it will later come back again), do your daily stuff, try to take off your mind of things that are negative and try to let all positive things inside? and your heart will do the healing by itself with time? (i'm not mocking, i'm honestly asking)

    and another thing... could you (leoscorpion or lua) explain me more what this retro thing is? does that apply to anyone independently of astrological sign?



  • Please Advise:

    I dated a cancer man for 3 months. im a cusp...scorp/sag.

    he was very sweet and tried to win me over. he talked about an "us" and things we would do together and the future. and, then he starting questioning our future? he said that he could see us dating for a year and then he was unsure.

    he broke up with me. he wanted to be friends. but i gave him an ultimatum...dating or nothing. he said he felt pressure. he said we were on not seeing eye to eye. so, we disconnected.

    we didn't talk for several months but reconnected to catch up based on my initiating...he responded and meet me up.

    is it possible to win him back?

    should i ask him to be friends?



  • Katie

    healing is a work of love, any kind of healing starts with cleansing.

    without love, there is no devotion and without devotion, the process will not continue

    the same goes with healing a broken heart

    you need to start clean. look into your past, admit your wrongs and rights.

    we all make mistakes, so don't judge anyone including yourself. just admit.

    make amends whenever possible or necessary

    this is how you can start clean.

    in everything you have to start with yourself. forgive yourself, so that you can forgive others.

    love yourself, so that you can love others. to love yourself is to accept your weakness & strength.

    some people may say that loving yourself is the same as being selfish

    love is about give and take. selfishness is about taking. very different.

    the love you have for yourself, is the love that healing process needs

    you might have friends and family who care for you

    but if you do not care and love yourself, the process will not be complete

    the mind will start defense mechanism as it always does

    it will display images from the past, reminding you of the pain

    when the mind starts chatting this, turn it off and turn inward, listen to your heart instead

    you need the logical mind for a lot of things in the physical world

    but matters of the heart and everything beyond 5 senses, the mind is limited

    learn to distinguish mind chatter from the heart's voice

    only then, you can hear what your heart truly says



  • leoscorpion: thank you so much for your reply. so if i feel hurt and i already now feel deep inside that my guy does not deserve me, and the great memories that keep coming back are the only things that makes me wanna give him time and another chance... does that mean you think that my heart already truly decided that it is over?



  • katie

    if your heart says so, then yes

    but you have to make sure it is not mind chatter interfering

    one way to do this is by meditation

    sooner or later you will be able to hear the heart's true voice

    don;t rush into anything

    take the time you need



  • leoscorpion: thanks again for the answer. some people underestimate forums... my dad always says who heartless internet is and that people online always show different faces than what they are... and since i'm here on this forum, i met so many amazing, great people. so i explained him that he won't believe but sometimes i feel that people here (even if i haven't met any of you in person or know very small bits about your life) helped me more than any friends i have around...

    that said, back to the topic:

    i am really messed up i think, so i really don't rush things. anyways i'm not a person that rushes at all.

    i was also thinking, it can be that my heart does not say it is over at all, i just wish it would, cause then i could start healing. probably my heart still says yes for him, it is just very afraid of going on with hurting... 🙂 even if i sound whiny a lot of times, i put through myself some heartache already, so i CAN deal with pain. i just sometimes think i should spare myself if i can. 🙂 but otherwise, i truly believe that everything that happens in our lives has a reason. maybe we don't see that reason right in the moment when it happens, but much later, looking back, we see it clear. and i believe too, that whatever bad happens, that has a later effecting positive meaning. i always try to learn from the bad things, it feels like it makes me wiser and gives me the ability to deal with problems easier. 🙂



  • katie-I don't think just going on with your life heals all wounds...not if you just cover it up. I broke up with my ex 19 years ago, I went on with my life, moved to Rio, eventually moved out of the country, stayed busy, etc but I never got over it, because my heart built a wall around it and somehow I told myself that I never wanted to love again since I didn't want to feel the pain again.

    leoscorpio -my electronics so far are working ok. You are saying plans made during retrograde may fall through? I just made plans with my cancer guy 3 days ago about meeting at the end of this month. Hope his roster does not change..also my leo friend is sending e a ton of angry e-mails. should I wait until jan 16 to contact him? His ugly arrogant side is coming out and I feel too vulnerable right now to deal with it.



  • Lua: i missed you already. 🙂 i'm used to having you here in my mornings (don't know what time you have over there.... neither what time the forum has... US time?)

    i know it is not good to cover it up. i had a guy took me 5 years to get over him. at least i am over him for like 7 years now, though of course i have NO idea how i would react if he showed up/mailed me etc.

    update from my cancer: he is really starting to be nicer and nicer... don't know where to put it. i mean what to think. i got a mail from him again. saying he is sorry im still ill, and that he is free tomorrow but he does not want me to come out of home (cause of the cold i have), so he probably will sleep (why to share that info with me? so that i know that he is not partying but being alone at home? no freaking idea) and that we maybe can buy my mp3 player next week... he really wants to see me, very much i think... hahahaha wish i knew it is a real interest, cause he really misses me, or cause he just wants me to hang on.... no idea... we'll see...



  • "i truly believe that everything that happens in our lives has a reason. maybe we don't see that reason right in the moment when it happens, but much later, looking back, we see it clear. "

    exactly. everything happens for a reason. we are here to learn and move forward. this is the reason of our existence in the physical world. each event in our lives, carries with it different lesson. we learn from these events, and from others. it's a process that one life time is not enough, so we often come back and live another life time or more.

    "i put through myself some heartache already, so i CAN deal with pain"

    "i was also thinking, it can be that my heart does not say it is over at all, i just wish it would, cause then i could start healing."

    you start hearing the voice of the heart 🙂 try meditation if you are interested. it helps and has other benefits too.

    "anyways i'm not a person that rushes at all"

    I am just saying 'don't rush' just so you will take your time before making decision.

    I wrote the effect of Mercury retro on this page and page 50 to Lua

    just one more reason to take your time before deciding anything

    unless it's emergency of course

    "my dad always says who heartless internet is and that people online always show different faces than what they are"

    he is right. anonymousity can bring the worst out of people. but then again, it can also protect the innocent. there is always good and bad in everything and everyone, including ourselves.

    "even if i haven't met any of you in person or know very small bits about your life) helped me more than any friends i have around..."

    I am just sharing my experiences and lessons I learned. I am glad to have helped. The knowledge and wisdom belong to the universe. Give thanks to the universe, for it has led you here to meet those who can help. All the universe asks of you is that you will share what you have learned, just like what I am doing here. Regards to your family.



  • leoscorpion: try meditation if you are interested. it helps and has other benefits too.

    katie: i have sometimes this very short moments, when i feel i see things clear and i know what i want. i'd love to try meditation, but i am / i keep myself (?) all the time on such high inner pressure /restlessness that i don't have any idea how to meditate. 😞

    leoscorpion: I am just saying 'don't rush' just so you will take your time before making decision.

    katie: i know how you meant it. 🙂 i am really not a rusher. morover when i find myself all the time thinking about the guy, i know that it is not the time to decide yet. anyways, somehow with my quite recent break-up with my ex... it took me half year since i realized that i want to break up, till i could really make it. and everyone was telling me, 'you have to tell him' blablabla, and i knew they were right, but i knew too, that when the moment will come that i can say it, that will be the right moment to do so. and i believe that anyways, whenever i want something, when my heart decides, i will do what i have to do. 🙂



  • apple

    all I can say is that there are 2 in relationship

    if he doesn't feel like being with you, then you can not change him to your liking

    it is only possible to win him back, if he wants you

    why not be friends, get to know him better and give him time to know you better



  • Lua

    "my electronics so far are working ok. You are saying plans made during retrograde may fall through? I just made plans with my cancer guy 3 days ago about meeting at the end of this month. Hope his roster does not change..also my leo friend is sending e a ton of angry e-mails. should I wait until jan 16 to contact him? His ugly arrogant side is coming out and I feel too vulnerable right now to deal with it. "

    That's good your electronics are ok. the plans, yes it's common to happen that they have to change or delay. but then again if his roster is set up before the retro, most likely it won't change. your plan to meet, however, it may. about the leo guy, you are vulnerable so don't worry about him as for now. but if you feel like telling him off, thats fine too. he may not even know why he is angry, again Mercury retro can mess things up in people's mind and life.



  • katie

    but i am / i keep myself (?) all the time on such high inner pressure /restlessness that i don't have any idea how to meditate. 😞

    it's not inner pressure, it's mind chatter. you rely on it all the time, so it gets more powerful and dominating. you do need the mind, but the heart also needs to be heard. meditation will help you achieve balance between the two.

    Try this: twice a week, 10 minutes as a start. once you feel comfortable, go as long as you want

    •Find a quiet place and sit in a comfortable cross legged position. If using a cushion, sit on the forward third of the cushion. The objective is for your hips to be raised above your knees and to form a three point base with your knees and buttocks touching the floor/cushion (leave a comment below if want to use a chair or meditation bench and would like me to explain those details).

    •Set your alarm or other time device for 10 minutes.

    •Now elongate your spine upwards and to align it with the back of your head, subtly bring your chin back and in like a soldier at attention. There will be a slight inward arch in your lower back.

    •Now rock gently from side to side in big arcs, making them smaller and smaller till you drift to a stop. You should find yourself perpendicular to the floor with no tension or pull from either side.

    •Have your eyes half open with an unfocused gaze on the floor in front of you. You should be looking down at a 45 degree angle about 2 to 3 feet in front of you. You may also close your eyes if you prefer.

    •Bring your hands to your lap and place them in the cosmic mudra. To do this rest your right hand on your lap, then rest your left hand on top of it and have your fingers overlap. Now bring the thumb tips together thus forming an oval frame.

    •Close your mouth, swallow your saliva creating a slight vacuum and place your tongue against the roof of your mouth. After this point there should be absolutely no more movement of the body. No fidgeting, scratching, shifting - nothing - be like you are frozen in time.

    •Take 5 deep, slow breaths though the nose. This will oxygenate your blood and relax you.

    •Now bring you attention to your breath without trying to manipulate it further in any way, just become aware of its flow. Spend a few minutes just observing it intimately till it starts to become regular and relaxed.

    •At this point begin counting your breath. Count an inhalation as one, then the exhalation as 2 and continue to count your breaths until you reach 10. At which point return to 1 with the next inhalation. If at any point you get caught in a mental story line and loose your count, gently, without passing any judgment, return to 1 and start over. That’s it, continue for the duration of the meditation

    It takes a few tries, but since you are not one that rushes into things, I believe you will be able to sooner or later.


Log in to reply