Have i lost my cancer b/f for good ?

  • Sandran712>>Yep! ugly ain't it?LOL..Now you gotta know how I feel at 46.Anything older than myself is scarier as if I am going out on a date with a tomb of the unknown soldier.. or King Tut..LOL..Men are getting older and more tired.And I am just getting tired watching all the train wrecks...

    katie: ok, so i am definitely laughing all the time from your humor. you are killing me, not even willing to comment on the fruitbasket... LOL

  • leoscorpion> yes, but learning is always so painful. i know that it makes us better persons, but still... and i know that not all the cases end bad, but honestly i dont remember reading here a story with a cacer guy, which ended good.... so im quite pessimistic, though still holding on... 🙂

  • katie

    if life is easy, what is it there to learn from?

    it can get painful, but then again you can learn how to deal with the pain

    again it's another learning curve

    turn inward and turn off mind chatter

    listen to your heart, what does it say?

    love is matter of the heart, your mind can not solve love questions for you

    so listen to your heart when you are in doubt

    and take everything in stride until he can prove himself deserve your love

  • leoscorpion> i know my mind can't solve the questions of the heart. but then again, what if my heart loves him, though he might not deserve it and though it hurts me a lot to love him?

  • Katie

    "but then again, what if my heart loves him, though he might not deserve it and though it hurts me a lot to love him?"

    to live in the physical world is to experience life and what life has to offer.

    if your heart is never broken and your body is never injured, how do you experience pain and therefore learn to be cautious?

    your love for him, true as it is, is yours to experience

    what he feels for you, is his to experience

    you love him, this doesn't mean he has to love you too

    you can not change someone, and make him yours if it is against his will

    that said, if he does play you for a fool, doesn't mean you are to blame

    it just means he doesn't deserve you

    and you deserve someone else and that you will find this person someday

    if you are injured, does this mean you die? No

    if your heart is broken, does this mean your heart stops beating? No

    it only means you have experienced pain and that you will heal from it

    you fear that he will break your heart

    will this fear make him not breaking it? or will it make you lose hope and avoid him?

    it may be true you should avoid hurt if you can, but what if he hasn't done anything wrong?

    wouldn't it be you that hurt him?

    the mind fears the unknown. as defense mechanism, it will warn you and close you out.

    but the heart knows, that all is meant to be experienced

    that fear is not necessary, for you can not make someone love you and therefore you can not avoid being hurt

    that being afraid is not going to save you, but hoping for the best and preparing for the worst will

  • leoscorpion> yes i know all what you say and i agree, it is just hard to be in it. it is not the first time someone hurts me, so the feeling is familiar. and i can handle pain, i'm just not sure whether i should take it more or just avoid him and get over it. there is always a very subtle line between worth or not worth the pain. and of course it is about me, but i'd like to do the good desicion for my own sake. and not the getting hurt or not getting hurt is the question. i just mostly hate being hurt in a situation where i dont even know whether the next moment will be going up or going down with the rollercoster... if i were already there, where i definitely have to get over him would be easier...i know you can't have everything for sure in life tough, in the contrary... most things are always unsure... but thanks for the nice words, i so much agree with them. 🙂

  • Loescorpion. You are so very wise and you have a good way of explaining things ,and because of this I have learned and gained a lot from you . I know i'm no spring chicken, yet there is still a lot of life in the old dog ! I have no intension of giving up just yet ,and as Katie said we Aquarians dont give up easily and I'm NOT a quitter either. Normally when I start something I give it my all and see it through to the end . Also as you say no two signs are the same . You never know my next guy might be a Cancer , More Mature / Honest / trustworthy and Loyal. Again you have given us some more Hot Hunks . LOL . We love you leoscorpion x

  • Hello beautiful people!!! I trust that everyone had a lovely Christmas and a great start to the New Year! I have been super busy over the holidays. Hope everything is going well for you guys. I'm still with my cancer fella and we're still going pretty strong and I'm happy as Larry! Nothing exciting to share though unfortunately... sadly, no ring on the finger =(

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  • Hi Katie1982! Gosh, you do sound like a true Virgin to the core. Your emotional nature, how you love and relate to people, from what I've read in your posts is a very Virgoan nature. I can very much relate to you. One thing about Virgo's apart from giving whole heartedly and becoming vulnerable once in love, is the ability to also cut ties with sharp blade and with precision. Virgo's although have the softness and gentleness also have the backbone of steel, nowadays platinum. I know with myself when I love I give all of me and that's why I can get easily hurt, but when I see the cracks and realise I'm being mistreated or not appreciated and I start to become unhappy in a relationship, I can cut my losses easily. It still hurts but I manage to keep strong. It's because I love myself whole heartedly too and if I can give that love to another I best give it to me first and I will not let anyone bring me down or treat me bad. I also don't give out second chances. Once a man truly hurts me beyond measure, that's it he's out. But I do have the three strike rule for minor imperfections. Like you, I get excited easily about anything that tickles my fancy and I am quite impatient, I want everything now. This is it, it can only get better. Very optimistic. This can sometimes be our down fall. The upside we easily recover and shake it off and find another exciting thing to look forward too 😃

  • Keldjoran baby!!! Yes I am, wasn't leaving you guys anytime soon 😃 How's everything with Scorpio fella?... You have a new twinkling star in the horizon?... hhhmmmm.. =D

  • Virgocookie. Nice to see you back with us again , and glad you and your fella are still going strong .Good to see a success story for a change. The ring will come . Still no news from my X , Its defo over now .

    Keldjoran. How are you doing ? and nice to see you also . Are you holding up alright ? Its horrible isen't it . When you love someone its hard not to think of them it takes time .

  • VirgoCookie> god, all you say is so true. well as it comes out my moon is in virgo, so i don't have to be wondering anymore (being an aqua as sun) where all those weird unfitting traits come from. so what you told is really like you werent talking about yourself but about me. LOL

    so you are the only living example here of having a "normal" relationship to a cancer man? congratulations. what's your secret? haha 🙂 but seriously gotta go back and read your story. 🙂 and also, really nice to get to know you. 🙂

  • 'Emeraldfields-older for me is actually my age or a bit older, 45-60 maybe. last night another older guy (about late 50's) was sleazy to me and asked me if he can come over and sleep naked next to me. I just met the guy too! most of these guys are from the US or Europe-divorced ex-pats mostly, they like picking up on young Asian tourists, Japanese and Korean women in their 20's. They think I'm about 35 but joke that I am too old for them. The Leo stalker is a younger guy though-he's 36.'

    Ewww. Well, I wonder if it's due to the fact that these guys were young in the 60's, 70's (and 80's) when casual "hook-ups" were the thing?? Stalker...persistent, love-struck puppy or crazy-psycho stalker?

    Oh, and Llindeloo, the posts here were wise...can't go by a man's sun sign alone. Have fun, in fact, maybe instead of seeking the next true love, just go out and have some light fun, I don't think we date or court enough these days. Seems like it's always instant relationship or sex...seems like in Western society a fast food mentality has permeated every aspect of our culture; I wish we could slow down, stroll, get acquainted, smell the roses etc.

  • EmeraldFields. Lovely to see you again . How are you ?. Yes i fully intend to explore , when the weather gets warmer and all the snow has gone . LOL I agree there is no courtship these days We should slow down and take it one step at a time and have some fun along the way .

  • Hi Lindie xoxo - You sound well and I'm happy that you're happy 😃 Thank you for the nice words. Maybe over now with the ex. But that doesn't mean it's over for you. Do what Emeraldfields say. Flirt a bit. I want to actually challenge you to go put on your best ensemble, your dancing shoes, go out and approach a nice man you find appealing and say hello. If you're feeling even more daring, ask him if he wants a drink 😃

    Katie1982... the secret is nothing more than Just being yourself!. Sounds lame huh?! But it's true. I have not been any different with my cancer fella, how I am when he met me and how I am now. Another secret, don't be afraid to show you're negative side early on or voice out what you want and need. We all have our imperfections and our bad side our needs and wants. If a man wants you he'll see your vice as virtues and he will accept them and he will work on your needs and wants and on your part you will do the same. Comes from the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 days!" the film is overly exaggerated, but it's a great way to learn if he's a keeper! And lastly, the last secret I will share with you is 'Ignore them!' Cancer we all know are moody, emotional, sulky, erratic, insecure and the list goes on. Keep true to yourself, if you know you're confident in yourself and you're certain about how you feel, you shrug off their negativity and their mood swings, don't let it get to you. He'll be back to normal again. Always act neutral with them however they are and don't indulge them and get them to bring you down. Occasionally though, reverse it and give it back to them. Show them your moodiness, your emotional vulnerability, your insecurities, because we do feel like that sometimes too being women, once a month especially! 😃

    Try not to have any expectations. Don't expect he's the one, let him prove that to you. Don't hold back but also don't just dive in head first.

  • katie

    well you're not alone. I too have been hurt.

    I'm glad at least you understand what I am trying to say

    sometimes I type too much it gets off tangent

    anyway take care now

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  • toast to you Lindleloo, love your positive attitude!

    I'm going back to my favorite thread Men of the Zodiac

    bye now take care

  • Hi everyone-hehe this board gets busy while i'm asleep..

    virgocookie! So glad to see you back! I was wondering how you were doing. you are our #1 cancer guy success story, you can't leave us!! I saw my cancer guy for 2 days last month, but he was crabby and didn't seem too happy to see me, but he was sick and overworked, but i was hoping that after 4 months he'd at least show a bit more enthusiasm...at least my cats missed me, after only 8 days of not being home they wouldn't leave my side when i came back.

    leoscorpion-I've read your post and the one about getting hurt, etc drove me to tears. yesterday i got an e-mail from my ex from 19 years ago. he was the only man I was truly in love with. After him I dated but never fell in love again, then I gave up 12 years ago and went 11 years without dating at all until the cancer guy came back into my life. He just said "How are you" but those 3 words, just seeing his name again brought back all the pain, yes it's been 19 years but I really never got over it. I guess it's hard for me to fall in love but when I do it's hard to get over...that's why I've been holding back with the cancer guy...I don't ever want to experience that kind of pain again...

    I haven't heard from my cancer guy in 3 days..but that's nothing to a cancer I know..he hasn't posted on twitter so I don't know where he is either..feeling very emotional over my ex getting in touchwith me..I know I should be over him by now, but all the old pain seems to be reexposed..I guess the my cancer rising sign has been reactivated...they say cancers never let go of hurt..I thought my cancer ascendant was inactive..19 years, why did he get in touch with me now?

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