• I need help!! My cancer friend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 yrs now. the on and off thing is killing me. One day he wants to be with me the nest he wants his independant. We have known each other for at least 15 yrs. I love him, he says he loves me, Are cancers affraid of commitment? does anyone out there do readings.

  • Cancers are not afraid of commitment, in the contrary.

  • i dont think one line staements are helping the people needing genuine advice, theres an old saying if you cant find anything constructive or good then dont say anything

  • I am a Cancer female but I hope this helps. I am not afraid of commitment. Quite the opposite. When I'm in love with a guy heaven and earth couldn't make me give him up. I worry about him, I do things like cook food he likes, I take care of him. He has me 100%.

    In turn I will become a b*tch if he is mean to me or hurts me. I don't like mocking and I don't like my feelings hurt. I never forget anything that is said if my feelings are hurt. I'll bring up something from 10 years ago if I have to. I'll recite it to the letter. I never let somebody forget when they have hurt me.

    Another thing that is bad about me is that I have been known to hold on to a guy until something better comes along. I don't know if that is a Cancer thing or a "every sign" thing.

    But like I said when I am ga-ga for a guy he get's 200% from me. Always. Hope that helps. Good luck.

  • I think it's complicated. I'm a Cancer, but I'm female and yours is male.

    If, and it's a big if (because it's difficult to capture a Cancer's heart), if I fall in love

    I'll give all of me, every little bit and I'll take a lot of crap, too. I'd be in it for the ups, the downs

    the sads and lows, but I won't always say I'm committed. The partner may have to just see it for themselves. I don't like to be cornered, or cornered from words. I need freedom and I need to be trusted by the partner. If he wouldn't naturally trust me to be committed, then it'll probably be rocky.

    With a Cancer, you must use other resources to notice if they have given you their heart.

    Feel it in your gut, watch them and their actions. Do they let loose and not hold back; by laughing out loud, smiling brightly, creating art and expressing things they're happy about in your view (for you, around you, not to their other friends, but especially for you.)? Do they try to impress you with the delights you like; like cooked meals, poetry, growing a special flower or garden, sharing conversations on the topics you like? Do they look for you, try any measure possible to find you?

    It is how they react, treat you and try to entertain you that matters more than their words or answer to you if you ask them.

  • I have been knowing my cancer for 5 years we have been dating off and on for about 3, I had to give mine an ultimatum a few months back shape up or leave me alone. It changed our entire relationship dynamic. I think we spend the earlier part of the relationship being confused as to what he wants and forget abuot what we want. When I did finally tell him what I wanted and was firm in what I would and would not tolerate ie. no return calls, disappearing acts, confusioun as to what he wants, he made the adjustments and we became official. His turn around was so fast and complete, that I get scared sometimes, but wish I would've done this long ago. Tell him you can't take it anymore and he has to decide once and for all or he will loose you.

  • I'm sorry to say this sexygem,

    but do be careful of abusing a Cancer, just for the sake of your own reassurances.

    Not that I know or don't know if you have.

    I just know that a Cancer can be put into an uncomfortable relationship, that is not especially healthy for them, just to please the mate. When truly, a Cancer as any sign, would be more so beautiful and able to shine when allowed to just be their natural selves, with partners who trust in them (if they've not done anything to cause a mistrust; ex. caught cheating).

    A naturalness is the best case scenario and the long lasting in a relationship.

    If the Cancer does need space and time to work through something, allow it

    as long as they're not into mischief with it.

    If it is too bothersome, then maybe consider they're not the person to match up with for the long haul, because eventually a Cancer will become strong and will resent, they will become your worst nightmare, in a relationship, if they let it build up over time.

    If they become what it is you'd rather, instead of being themselves. It will surely explode, because a Cancer in the end is a strong personality. They do allow themselves to be stepped on only because they are strong enough to take it. But, one day, that same strength will reverse and they'll use the strength to break off to extremities.

  • I didn't abuse anyone infact I put up with a lot of abuse without any reassurance that he was commited to me, which was fine in the beggining but after I have proven myself to be loyal, and devoted I need some loyalty and devotion in return. A relationship is a two way street everyone must compromise and sacrifice for the better of the unit. I'm not sure why you feel like asking someone to commit is abusive. I assure you my cancer would never accuse me of being abusive, but has told me I am kind, loving, and he is glad that I did not give up on him

  • I get it loveharpermuch...... I was on the recieveing end of the unreturned phone calls and disappearing acts and general confusion as to weather or not he wanted to be in a relationship with me for 2 1/2 years before I asked him to make a deciscion. If he would've chosen to leave me I was ready to accept that, but could no longer wait for him to decide if it was me he wanted to love and trust.

  • Sexygem, I wouldn't know if you were or not, just got me thinking on it and thought I'd say so for a look-see into Cancers.

  • iloveharperthismuch, that is what I have been saying about my cancer man that I have been dealing with, please read my post and respond.

    This man looks for me, and goes to extremes to find me. God for 4 weeks after I broke it off, he drove me absolutley insane!! I have confronted him on this 4 times, and he is still doing it but not so bad, but he knows that I still know he is doing it. On Mondays, especially, he comes looking for me pretty quickly, will make eye-contact as if to say "hi". He does a lot of non-verbal communication. he breaks his neck sometimes to look at me, or see if it's me. I could go on and on about how he has been for 8 months now. He has been after me since he layed eyes on me, and he told me that!!! He has told me very personal things, won't let me go....

    I talked to him in his office about that it was over and we just needed to be cool with eachother, and that everything was fine. He flew over the desk and it was on...

    what do you think all this means?


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