How do you seduce a Virgo man?
Also the fact that you choose to share your adulturess Affair so openly... in addtion to taking diggs at the Virgo's Wife, is more so why this Stings, your flaunting your adulturess relationship...making up excuses as to why it's OK, and should be accepted...Well not for me...If I have to stand up for every Wife, in the world I will....
HealingWater - It's all good, as I say I respect your rights to have your own opinion. I know what you mean when you say marriage is sacred, but it is what is in your heart and soul that makes it sacred. It is the love and respect that you give your partner that is sacred. The act of getting married doesn't just magically make that a reality. You know this.
I am sooo happy for you that you have this in your marriage. It is obvious that you value it and by doing so you will probably always have it. But when people don't keep that spirit in their marriage, then what is there left that is sacred? You can believe in those vows all you want, but if you can't live them then there is nothing. And one person can't do it alone. Living in a marriage where both people aren't commited to maintaining that sacredness, that respect for one another - well my experience is that it is lonlier than being alone. When you suggest that a "piece" of a man is enough, no it's not. Not in a an "affair" and please REALIZE NOT in a marriage either. I can honestly tell you though, that if I had not had the ability to divorce my husband, I am 100% certain that I would have cheated on him so deep was the hurt I was feeling from living without the love and respect that I felt I deserved. The idea of living a lifetime without it was too sad for words. Unmet emotional needs are very powerful things.
Lis1 - I gotta disagree with you on one point. I don't think I've met a man yet who wasn't looking for a woman to mother him. That's certainly not on my list of reasons to avoid this one, or I might as well avoid them all. Plus, as you point out, I am a Cancer, we ARE everybody's mama very often whether we want to be or not!
Anyway, HealingWater, I hope you have a good nap. You can all come thrash me some more tomorrow if you want, lol. It's okay.
Well just read the other posts. HealingWater if if makes you feel good to make me the poster-child for every evil seductress who is out there wrecking otherwise beautiful marriages you just go for it. I, meanwhile, will continue to stand up for those who suffer in marriages that leave them empty, but they have no practical way out. Consider yourself lucky HealingWater that you don't have to deal with that. Unless or until you do, you really can not understand how it feels. It was also not my intention to "flaunt" my situation. It simply is what it is and I share it openly.
Lis1 - you are a romantic. Sure, some people will risk it all to divorce and run off to a new relationship, but NOT all. You generalize and sterotype. I wonder how many of those marriages last, hmmm...... And enough already on "my messed up self". I have done plenty of introspection in dealing with this situation. To suggest that I don't get it or that I am not facing things is just wrong. If I weren't open to facing things I sure wouldn't be on here spilling it all to you folks and letting you all admonish me for my sins and crimes. Yeesh, it is making me weary though.
Jen, I haven't had my nap...and I don't like the idea of you being ganged up on or that you believe I am thrashing you,. Plz forgive that aspect of this..not my intentions really..This subject is just too emotional for me to try to have a civilized conversation about...It doesn't seem like I can..without getting to passionate...
I have to admit, I shared the last few pages of this post with my husband, and he says, this Man is running game on you just to be intimate .....now I can't say if he is just being a dutiful husband, saying what he thinks I want to hear, but well... that's what he said...We did share a moment together, over the fact that you pointed out that they argue....because we can get into some pretty heated arguments ourselves.... But my husband and I both agreed, it is Our argument, that we have as a married couple, we fight, argue and make up.. Gosh if there were some woman waiting in the wings for him...I don't know what I would do..Probably give her a serious thrashing not to mention what would happen to him!!
Jen, I wont yell at you again...woke up on the wrong side of the bed...
and this issue is just to emotional for me to partake in this conversation that I started..but I've had my say, and now we will have to agree to disagree... Goodnight..
I am no romantic I am realist.
It is about self respect, which yet to be a lesson to learn for some.
I wish you well
HealingWater - Agreed! Look, I really like that you stand up for what you believe in, and I want you to know that I do believe that what you are standing up for is great. Don't mind me, you just keep going! This situation will all resolve in time, or maybe I will just walk away for a time and let things play themselves out for a while. Maybe he will, lol. Sometimes it's enough to just plant some seeds of thought and then see what grows. I think it's awesome that you shared all this with your husband by the way. I was actually hoping, that if nothing else, our conversation here might be a wake-up call to others who perhaps take their mates for granted or may have grown stingy with their affections over time. A little bit of appreciation can go a long way. Such a little thing but with such big consequences. I see so many marriages that just "exist" without any real enthusiasm left to them. Just a matter of convenience. You stay fired up about yours, okay, and I mean that from the bottom of my mushy, over-mothering Cancer heart, lol.
Lis1 - I appreciate all of your thoughts and I do wish you well also.
I was just thinking about you, Jen and have to say that I feel like a Voyeur as Im currently reading your thread with Maria..Jen your WAY too smart... to not see what I can see so clearly.....
I want to apologize, I was Way too B i t chy yesterday....but.. Im NOT saying I didn't mean the things I said..which may sound completely contradictory, but hopefully you know what I mean... Sometime what a person is feeling doesn't necessarily need to be said.. but Kudo's to you that you didn't start Yelling & Cussing , which I thought you might,.. knowing myself I might have done just that if I were attacked......My wishes for you is that you kick your addiction to this Married Virgo Man, and find yourself..a Nice Cancer, or Taurus Man that is NOT Married..hehe
PLZ, Jen...lay off his wife, and your thoughts on who she is or what she is doing or not doing that makes you Think you have the right to share a piece of her husband.. I could go on & on but I am not going to get back on that again..
Oh one more thing, Jenever7 ... I appreciate and will tell you openly that YOU..HAVE taught me or rather brought to my attention that Yes, I need to tell my husband that I appreciate him..you said to me some time ago..I think back before I changed my forum name from KittyGalore..that one thing I should do is make sure he knows that I appreciate him...and it has Worked Wonders...I sat him down and looked him in the eyes..and said to him.. That I wanted him to know that I appreciate all his hard work and all that he does for me and our family..boy was he like a kid in a candy store for the next couple of days...I don't know if I ever said it to him straight out like that before..but believe me.. I tell him at least once every couple of weeks now..and he eats it up..I change it up a little..but I make sure he knows he is appreciated...Thank you for that..I thought I was showing him but telling him makes him feel GGGreat!!…
HealingWater - What was it that made "wife's" husband think that he had the right to present himself in my life as a single man free to create a relationship with me. He didn't offer up a piece of himself, he offered up the whole package as if his wife didn't exist. THAT is what he did and for good or bad, right or wrong, and in spite of it all, I obviously feel very deeply for this man. I don't think it's fair to call it an addiction any more than love in general is an addicition.
What turned it into looking like an addiction was the point that he turned out to be married. THEN it transformed from a relationship filled with love and potential into something taboo. It also revealed all of the constraints that cause the "angst" of making it feel like an addiction, lol. But all of a sudden I'm supposed to turn off my feelings? He's supposed to turn off his feelings? CLEARLY this has been a struggle. I hope that you don't for one minute really think that I take this lightly. It's a constant battle of the mind and heart in conflict. One of us will pull the plug here at some point...I think...obviously I don't know the answer to that right now.
As far as his wife, I gotta tell you, for all the soul-searching this situation has brought me, I am sorry, but I cannot help but hold her responsible as well. NOT fault her, but hold her responsible. You know I have often thought what joy it would give to me to sit down with his wife and just ask "WHY? Why is it that I can find value in this man and somehow HE thinks that you do not?" I'd love to know her side of the story. You know it truly and obviously pains him that things are the way they are. After I learned that he was married we literally spent hours discussing their relationship. I had my share of couples counseling in my marriage and whether you believe it or not, at the time we were discussing all of that I would have readily let him go if he could pull that relationship back together and rid himself of that pain. I don't mean to disrespect his wife, but based on the turmoil I've seen in this man, I can't fathom that she is any better off than him.
You know, I've talked to a surprising number of people who have been involved in affairs (I was so naiive about how common infidelity is until after I got out of my marriage bubble - makes me wonder if my ex ever cheated on me when I hear all the stories). But usually the story goes, "in the end they always get caught". I don't suppose it will surprise you at all at this point that I actually imagine what it would be like to have his wife show up on my doorstep. I expect I'd get an earful from her, lol, but I am dead serious here, I'd like to know if there is a shred of anything in her that could meet this man in the middle and figure out what they are doing to each other. You can think it's not my business, and it's hard to argue that point, other than her husband made their relationship my business and then some.
And apology accepted and really unnecessary HealingWater. I have no problem discussing this with you, as I say, I admire people willing to stand up for their values particularly when it's presented with logic and rationality. If we keep going though, I'm thinking maybe we should write a book or something, or at least get it on a different thread, lol. Sorry Bluewatermama, we have seriously gone "off-topic" here!
Aw HealingWater, I just read your post. Now see, if anyone else out there gets that same message and it helps them enrich their own relationship, then I don't care how many people think I'm a soul-stained sinner. The darker it is, the brighter a little light shines sometimes, if ya know what I mean.
Hi Jenever7, have read about what you and heallingwater discussing about, hmm i don't really want to comment. But i enjoy reading and getting some deep feeling sharing. Anyhow, i really want to thanks you for sharing so many points in how to seduce a virgo man. I hope you will still here to entertain us that stuck with those "charming dudes".
There is going to be a big changes between us. He is going into camp for training for 8 months starting next week. So he ask me to prepare that we will not webcaming each other everyday like what we did now and also sms and call will be lesser. Also asked me that he hopes that love from me don't decrease. My heart was crying hard but i still putting a smile on my face.
Really hope that i can adapt to his situation. And enjoy taking my own sweet time. Hopefully i don't feel lonely without him. Oh god ~ please help me to gone through this . I hope he is not toying with my feeling and worth to wait. bla bla bla just don't why i am typing out this here
Jen, Want to comment to that first post up there..but I'm at work... I do wanna say that first paragraph is Well Said.. but Plz understand..I haven't even begun to elaborate on what I think should be done with a Husband, that has taken Vows and blatantly deceives his wife, in short I think he is conniving and doesn't have any decency about himself… and to continue to carry on with this Deceit is Crushing.. I take issue with almost everything you’ve stated after that first paragraph…and I did start a post the day this issue came up..It's called. Why do Women Accept Married Men.. maybe we could continue to carry on this conversation on that thread..Because I will say..that was also an issue for me that you said some of those insulting things about his wife on a thread that was started by a Virgo Wife...she may not have minded..but it irritated me..anyway we should probably step over there to the other thread.... OH Gosh, Breaks almost over!!
Caprius - the same reason we all type it out here. There's safety in the anonymity and yet you find a place to get new insights and opinions from others. Not without judgement obviously, lol, but we can always walk away. Sounds like you're going to be in a tough emotional space for a while. I hope that he keeps in good touch with you, but realize too, that the circumstances probably will make it difficult for him at times. If he is stationed far away, a different time zone, then yet another complication. Well, one thing's for sure, he's going to get some of that "space" he likes so much, lol. A chance to see if he really likes it, eh? You already know I'm listening to whatever you want to say Caprius. I'm sure there are others here for you as well if the going gets tough. :0)
Bluwatermama - HealingWater and I have moved our discussion to her thread. So sorry if we spoiled the party. I'll come back if ever I have new insights to share and of course will be watching here for new posts as well.
Jenever7 thanks for giving me a heads up. I just happened to log on today after being gone for like a month and saw your note. Very cancerlike and considerate of you
I'm back after a couple of weeks of silence. My Virgo guy is sooo slow in responding
Well, I actually have kind of good news. After I played brave and told him I wanted him and no other guys, I got to chat a couple of times with him. The first time he said he came shortly online only because he thought I would get angry or something if he didn't, which surprised me quite a lot. I asked him directly if he cared about me, as this act of concern had to mean something. It was interesting how he tried not to address the subject matter at all, but in the end he admitted that of course he cared about me and what kind of a question was this that I was asking. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read this. He stayed just for a couple of minutes at this chat, and we somehow got to discuss an issue about his past, about which he wanted to know what I was thinking. I suggested we talked another time when he had more time and so we got to do another chat session a couple of days later, in which he had obviously decided to answer all my questions about him. I was able to ask everything I wanted, and he answered, though succinctly to almost everything. At the end I asked him what he thought of me, and he started joking avoiding the subject, after which I thought I would play brave again and ask directly. So the next question from me was if he liked me, to which I expected another joke or a change of the topic. To my surprise he answered repeating my words, telling me he liked me and that I was eminently likable from all he knew about me.
So I was in heaven that evening. Didn't dare to go one step further and ask if he loved me, though.
As you probably can imagine, this euphoria didn't last very long.
I haven't heard from him for several days again...have written a couple of emails, to which he didn't reply, and am full of doubts once more. I see his activities on the social networking sites and he talks to the other women there, but doesn't respond to me; I tried sending him short emails, long emails, but it's as if he's not there.
What would you suggest? Should I keep writing him? Should I leave him alone for a couple of days? I'm kind of afraid to stop writing him, as he may find it as a lack of interest on my side. But writing him and getting no answers is so frustrating...especially when I know he talks to the other women and has no time to write me a couple of sentences. I tried asking him in a short email about his day and what he's been doing lately (as some suggested here in the thread, that Virgo guys like talking about this), but he never replied to such questions. I tried telling him stories from my past, but still no reaction.
Hmm, I wonder what I could do next to make him talk to me more often. Once or twice a week a short email is somehow not the way I imagine it. Besides, after writing him so many emails, I'll soon run out of topics to discuss with myself, when I don't get another opinion on the issues to which I could respond.
Anyway, thank you all for your help, encouragement and support. I really appreciate it.
Hi Aries! we are in a similar situation as Im Aries too and he is Virgo 19 y older than me. I met him a year ago & since then things went crazy. I wont try 2 convince u 2 forget him cause I know how stubborn we (Aries) are. You have to play his game with him, he gets bored with the same thing easily so a riddle-woman is good next to him. It seems he got used to your e-mails, so if you stay patient (I know its very difficult for us but with Virgo its the main thing) and don't write to him for like 3 weeks, he ll get curious & worried & ll write you, don't answer right away though, make him wait at least a day, and then as nothing happened tell him that you missed him but got caught up with work. Working, successful, independent women make them "horny" (which is rare thing for Virgo in general ;((, and interested emotionally.
You have to flatter these men all the time, give them massage for hours, serve their needs and have NO expectations with them. They like to feel like the kings. Honestly, being with a Virgo man is not a good job for Aries woman, it gets boring with the time too. But it seems my Virgo likes it when I stop doing all these things & being harsh on him. He says he likes that Im so tough. So if you are ready for lots of conflicts & misunderstanding - go 4 ur Virgo. He will hang you in the air for long though. Basically being with Virgo is like being with a spoiled selfish capricious child - entertain yourself until you get bored.
lol, AmigaAries, this with the spoiled selfish capricious child was so funny.
Wow, what a coincidence! We're very much alike as it seems My Virgo is 18 years older than me. You two met last year? Do you live together already? How has the relationship progressed, if you don't mind sharing some details? How do you manage to keep him interested?
I would try your advice to not write my guy for such a long time like 3 weeks, were I not afraid that he would lose interest in me. I think I read in this thread, that one shouldn't play such games with the Virgos because they don't buy it, and just leave things as they are. Besides, I remember him telling me once, that if someone doesn't write him, he wouldn't write back asking what's wrong. He just assumes there must be good reasons for it and respects that, or so.
I don't know what to do. I'm starting to think it's not worth the effort and I should give up. But you know how we Aries are The mere idea of giving up makes it an even more attractive challenge, because I guess we always have to win.
How are you dealing with your relationship? Is your Virgo driving you crazy as well? If so in what ways?
Hey Aries 9986,
well we met diving - 1st plus cause we love the same thing, common interests are very
important for Virgos, they want their women to be good buddies and if he likes active life
(hiking, skiing, diving) he would prefer to have his woman next to him, at least in half of
the cases, because if u sit home and do nothing he will get bored with u very soon.
Although my Virgo used to stay with a woman like this for 18 years but I think it was more
of the convenience for him to have somebody at home waiting. He cheated on her all the time
but at the end never made commitment to her, she is in the mental house now, no kidding.
Thats how Virgo can affect other people.
How he makes me crazy? Well, the things between us went as bad as our arguments ended up in
the police station and one other argument was a bloody one. Im not an aggressive person and
I never had such fights in any of my relationships. What makes me especially crazy is that
he makes me wait all the time and he doesnt support his words with the actions, acts as a
hypocrite very often. If I ask something he would say "not now, Im not ready now etc etc"
and make me wait days and weeks. How good are Aries with patience? :)) Another thing is sex
and affection: in the beginning they lovy-dovy and then when you stay with them for a week
or so they turn into an iceberg. And you are left wondering what happen. When u talk abt
this he would say "all my previous girlfriends complained about the same thing". Only in a
year when you get very close to him after all the peripetias he can relax for a while and
let his wall down but then another issue appears: all what he attracted you with (care and
tenderness in the beginning) disappear and he becomes very selfish making you feel you are
used. I mean he doesnt do it on purpose but if he needs something - you should leave
everything you were doing at the moment, forget about all you need to do and run like a dog
helping him to do his thing. If you need something like this he will only sacrifice his
time if it is his free time otherwise (if he wants to sleep or watch TV, needs to work etc)
he won't do anything for you. Then when you bring the issue up he would say "Im tired of
being criticised all the time" or he will tell you all the beautiful words to make you
believe you are the most important thing in his life but then again he won't support it
with the actions. I don't care what the man says I make my decision by what he does and in
the beginning this guy made an impression that he is the man of the word and he shows by
action how much he cares but with the time I realise how much he bullshit other people by
grande words. Virgos are very good orators and salesmen - they will assure you in anything
words and make you believe whatever they want but how often they mean what they say and are
going to make what they said - this is an unanswered question.
We lived together for 2 months in a row maximum because we are from different countries and
it takes some time to figure out what country can be our base because I dont want to live
in his country and he cannot live in my country we have to find a third one and it seems we
found one but still its not so easy to leave the life you used to behind.
So the relationship developed as following:
We met in a diving shop, he got interested in me, asked me many questions, I was very
reserved, I had a boyfriend at the time and wasnt very interested in him. Next day we go
for common hobby (diving) and spend all day communicating, mutual interest arises.
I continue my travel next day (another city, 1 hour away), he suggests me a lift, rents a
car and brings me to the beach. We spend 2 days together and get very interested in each
other. He asks me to come back and stay with him but I continue with my plan and go
further. In a week he comes to visit me for my birthday in another city (flies there, books
5* hotel etc), we spend a wonderful 4 days together but nobody knows if we gonna meet
again. He leaves to his country, sad, doesn't hide it, I say that I have a feeling we never
see each other again, acting pretty cold. I think we Aries are common in being too straight
forward sometimes and speaking before thinking But I wasnt too concerned at the time
anyway. He invites me to his home city and in 40 days we meet again. At his place he starts
act weird (cold), like he would avoid kissing&hugging me or doing it briefly, not as it was
when we met. He makes up an exuse that he was alone for the last 5 years and is not used to
have a woman around and also that Im the 1st woman he invites to his house where he lives
12 years and it feels weird to see somebody else in his house. Another thing that shocked
me was that he turned down my offer of the bj, wtf? you just sit there and watch TV, let me
do everything, no if he doesnt feel like it he wont let u do anything. Afterwards and still
(1 year later) he keeps doing/refusing it from time to time but cannot explain why. I think
its time to go to sex therapist or something. Age is not an excuse cause Ive seen more
horny guys over 50 than under 20 yo.
After this we dont see each other for 2 months because I left to my home country. In-
between we talk enough, the communication was sweet but couple of times he would disappear
for several days making me worry. I would think he died and then he would say "I didnt feel
like talking to anybody". All I asked was just brief text message that he is alive - not
talking!!! At the same time if I do this he would go crazy and ask me never do it again
because he worries about me. As previously written: Virgos like to control but not being
controlled. What abt Aries? I think we pretty much the same in this thing so.. who wins?
2 months later he comes to visit me for 10 days in my home country, we travel around and
here I get first red flags: when he starts yelling at me too much for no big reason and it
turns to a big argument and accusation how bad I am I say "ok, here is your ticket you can
continue your travel alone, I bring you to the airport etc", he gets really paranoiac
(cannot be explained just by the fact that he doesnt speak the language, there are still
some people who speak his language and I suggested to bring him to the taxi/airport)? he
wants to call his embassy etc, later on when the issue looks solved he gets furious because
he wanted a day to relax and I still wanted to show him nice things. He explains it with
his health issues (he did have problems with his leg) but still I think its not the reason
to call me names, everything can be explained in a civilised way and a compromise and
mutual understanding can be reached. Not in a Virgo world though,vbecause they cannot be
open, they have to hide under their shell all their life and it does hurt them anyways
because they come out when its too late, the other person is tired to figure them out and
So how to deal with Virgos? Be prepared wait all your life so they can open to you and
"read between the lines" - dont take what they say literally. Here is an example: after all
troubles we had he invites me to live with him and I decide to give it a try, in 3 weeks at
his house he tries to kick me out 5 times and when I finally pack my bags and ready to
leave he starts to attack and insult me, pushes me around until it turns in uncontrollable
fight and I end up arrested because I was threatening him to call the police (I was never
going to do it but if I did he would have been in a big trouble), so what this coward does?
he calls the police himself and make it look as if I attacked him. Im a foreigner and it
was him who called the police so the case is in his favor. Anyway, the case was dismissed
and 1,5 months later we got back together in another country again and when he tried to
blame me that I never really made commitment to him and didnt wanna move with him I say
"Hey, I moved with u but u kicked me out", he would say "I never did". Im like "u wanna see
the police report?!" on what he would say "Why you always have to rub my nose in the things
in the past?". I wouldnt do it if you didnt deny the truth! We lasted 10 days this time and
I left him after he got violent again and since we are addicted to each other month later
we moved together again. During 2 months together he tried to kick me out couple of times
and I asked him later "why you keep doing this?" and then he tells me "Oh, I dont kick you
out! I just mean that you with your bullshit go out behind that door."
So it took me half a year to understand that when my Virgo says "Get the f..k out of here"
and throws my bags in the hall it just means that he doesnt like what Im saying and all I
should do is shut up and leave him alone for a while. How does that sound?
So, Aries, to deal with the Virgo you should keep biting your tongue when you wanna say
something critical or something that can hurt your gentle Virgo, especially when he is in a
bad mood and swallow it forever or keep it for a better days, and dont forget to sugarcoat
every "sour pill" you are going to give him.
You might think Im a cruel woman and say only bad things to my Virgo that he cannot take
but I learnt pretty quickly to shut up when he is in a bad mood, just let him lecturing you
etc etc, although then he will get annoyed that you are silent. The best way to express how
I feel next to my Virgo is this: imagine you are in an empty room and you have to find a
position to be in this room but you cannot sit, you cannot lie, you cannot stand, you
cannot fly (or walk, run, move whatever) - how does it make you feel? The "police case"
started from an innocent thing: he walked away from me in a big shop he spent over 2 hours
and one moment I got bored of following him and just went my way, so he called me an
as.hole because I (!) walked away on him and kept insulting me in the car, I was silent all
way home and then left him for 30 min alone (like it says in the recipy :), when I came
back my X called me, I didnt talk to him for 2 years and he needed my support, since I used
a foreign phone I had bad reception inside the buildings so I went to talk on the balcony
for around 25 minutes. My Virgo interpreted it as I have something to hide and told me to
leave his house the next day and I was going to just as he said, without extra comments.
The rest (how it has ended) you read earlier
Making a long story short: If you want to enjoy tenderness and love of your Virgo which
happens as often as he finds spare time for this (like every time before he falls asleep),
you probably read earlier in the thread that Virgos are workaholics and spare time is a
luxury as their care for you very luxury too but every time you are boiling and ready to
leave him he will take some time and explain everything in a way you wanna hear, he will
tell you that all he does is for you: his hard work etc, that on the weekends and evenings
he needs to watch TV because it keeps him away from his worrying thoughts (so u better dont
disturb him at this moments too) and then he also needs lots of time on his own. The only
thing he will never refuse or turn down is the massage or rub on the back, this feel free
to do 24 hours a day! But honestly the more you spoil them the worse they get, so I suggest
when your tenderness and love reserve is out and you feel like you give him 90% and he
gives you 10% - stop doing it and just do your thing - take care of your business until he
feels something lacking in his life and figures out how to get it back.
I know you are more interested in the seduction of your Virgo rather than maintaining life
with him at this stage. Well, actually I think I meant not writing him for 3 days, not 3
weeks (sorry for the mistake, I hope I didnt ruin ur relationship) But what I really
meant is dont make him feel like he got you in his pocket or like he can predict everything
you do - surprise him, write in a different style, e.g. after some affectionate letters
keep it more down to earth or even cold. If you think he got used to your every day
messages or e-mails - write him with a pause, like 2-3 days. Be creative. Write his name or
how u feel about him on the sand (if the beach is near or on the snow :)), ask someone to
take a picture of you with it and send him. Dont expect any answer or dont ask what he
thinks abt it, pretend u never sent it or u feel shy abt it.
Tell him u got a great job offer in town B which is 30-60 min drive from his house/town and
ask him what he thinks abt this town, area, job offer. Try to be convincing and if he finds
out u r lying just say you wanted to get closer to him and didnt know how to do it. If you
ask him what he thinks if u move to his city to be closer to him he will panic and probably
disappear, its too much of responsibility for him, so any message you wanna give him start
it with some innocent hints and try to figure out what he really thinks by his reaction.
AmigaAries - Oh my god, is he worth it??? It's like you have to make your whole life about pleasing him. It is so unhealthy (mentally and physically the way you describe it). You make me want to just reach out and drag you away from him. The worst is how much of what you say I could probably imagine my Virgo behaving in similar ways. Perhaps not the extremes, but who knows, since I don't see him enough to know for sure. He has had a few angry outbursts that suggest that there may be more hidden just below the surface. It's been about a month now that I changed the relationship between my Virgo and I. Pulled it back to "just friends". He has been in contact with me more now than he had been for months. There was a time that I would have thought that was wonderful, just what I wanted, but now it feels like a game. After reading your post I think I might want to just run while the running is good and not look back! LOL
Wow, I just don't know how or why you put up your Virgo. I hope it works out for you though. There must be something pretty strong going on there that keeps you together in what, from the outside, sounds like very hostile and demoralizing behavior. I wish you much luck and I'm saying a prayer here for your safety and the strength to maintain good self-esteem.