How do you seduce a Virgo man?
don't laugh. I'm married to one and I need help. I'm a Cap woman and he's a Virgo, a match made in heaven right? His brain doesn't turn off or stop worrying. If work is busy he' s making himself busier with all his new ideas for the business. If work is slow, he's too worried about money to be frisky. He says "sex is messy". What the heck??? ...and he's not gay, I promise. I want to hear from anyone who knows how to interest a Virgo in extracurricular activities of the earth sign kind. Enlighten me PLEASE.
Ohhh boy, I am also with a virgo man and I would also looove to know! We've been together for 5 years now I guess you could say I didn't really know what I was getting myself into except a relationship full of routine and...deja vu?
My boyfriend is also busy all the time with different activities, I admire him for that but he never slows down enough to work on our relationship and spend quality time. To him quality time is doing the same thing we did the last night and we never really have deep conversations about anything. They really like to be comfortable and secure and that seems like what their idea of romance is. I have read that Virgo men like dirty talk in the bedroom hahah. I don't know that I've really tried that but it might work for some.
Virgo men seem to be reliable but plain. Ohhh my virgo is also extreeeemely stingy too-it's very annoying.
I've been married to a virgo man for 19 years. lol. and I'm a taurus. I know for sure that they love cleanliness, I would sugest a shower and brush your teeth to start with. no heavy perfume soaps, just clean fresh smells. lol I know it sounds so simple, but it is a turn on also. sometimes geting him to shower with you can do wonders.
give him a nice relaxing back rub. or rub his feet. to set the mood for kindness. virgo's love to be pampered. The more you push them to talk emotionally the more they shut down.
Great replies! Thank you!!!
I dated a Virgo man very briefly in my 20's so I really can't comment on that part but have worked with one for six years and let me tell you BUSY is his middle name. He's in his middle 40's, single and is always doing something. He house sits, caters weddings and other events. In the office he constantly moves and when he does not hear me talking will ask if I'm at my desk!! He can also be annoying b/c he thinks he knows how everything in the office should be run! If I have an idea he shoots it down and will tell me how it should be done. I have to give him credit though because most of the time his suggestions do make sense and I will cave in and go along BUT it's still annoying. He also has very pretty blue eyes!!
Casper that's very funny Sounds about right. They all have such dreamy eyes...I think it's to throw us all off. ha ha...
my boyfriend does too! huge blue eyes! i should also add that my brother is a virgo and he is also always nonstop in some kind of activity, and he makes time for it all-very impressive actually! didn't really notice that about this sign until this thread came about.
I'm a Capricorn & have been with a Virgo guy for about a year & a half now & have learned a few things! They just are NOT typically romantic & certainly not ever gonna talk about their feelings. My guy is a clean-freak & constantly on the go, too. He does like to talk sexy, but not what I'd call dirty - along the lines of describing what we're doing & why it feels so good. Showering together is something we have fun with & dancing is the best foreplay ever! Music seems to be very important to all the Virgo guys I know & they've all been avid concert goers. I'm reassured that I'm not the only gal suffering with a shortage of attention from my Virgo... I just wish his drive was as strong as mine, 'cause when it happens it's the best!
Haha, this is giving me such a laugh! I agree all the way around. I've been seeing a Virgo man for 11 months now. He loves that I am organized with my affairs, keep a tidy house, I'm clean in my personal grooming, I know how to pinch a penny, and I manage to keep up with him mentally. Frankly, this may seem quite boring to most people, but this is the kind of stuff that gets him hot. Sounds so ridiculous, but in time I realized that no amount of blatant seduction will get my Virgo's attention. But if I tell him I cleaned the carpet, the bathroom, and got the oil changed in the car all after working a full eight hour day, it triggers something in him that says, "I want you so bad right now". Lol. Hilarious.
Now, I will say that he does surprise me from time to time with some "dirty" talk, but I have come to realize that this is not an invitation for me to do the same. What I do is "politely" respond with nice things about what he is saying or what I feel like when I'm it's with him, but NEVER resort to the same kind of language or descriptions that he does. And on that note, no slinky nighties for this man, he'd rather see me in white cotton than black silk (I figure it strikes him as clean, innocent, and thrifty all at the same time - quite a turn on, lol).
Oh, and I find that just showing an interest in his work, actually asking him about his day and letting him talk about it (no matter how boring it may be at times - just let him talk, toss in a few questions here and there so he thinks you really care - as you've already discovered his work is the real center of his universe so it's best to get along with that idea) this seems to have the effect of getting him to unload it for awhile, freeing him to relax and think about other things...if ya know what I mean.
How can someone so "boring" be so enticing at the same time? Maybe it is those big brown eyse, lol. I have to say though, that my man is also on the low end when it comes to drive. Intimate time together is more something he works into his schedule, and only comes to crave after a long stretch of time - I'm talking weeks to a couple of months here. Very difficult to handle sometimes (please know that I have a situation where we can't see each other often so my hope is that he wouldn't be quite this bad under better circumstances), but as you know, these guys are always worth the wait when you finally get them where you want them.
Ok, bluewatermama, now go clean something while you ask him to tell you ALL about what wonderful, productive things he got done today, and just maybe you'll get him where you want him tonight.
Your reply has got to be the funniest thing I've ever read. Oh my God!!! I totally appreciate you giving me concrete, specific examples of what you are talking about. Nothing has confused me more than this man. I had MANY boyfriends before and I've NEVER had a problem getting their attention. If someone had told me these secrets back in the beginning of our relationship I would've never believed them.
Scarletlatina, read Jenever's reply!!!
hahah thanks!! i loved reading that too, it is so hilarious!! (and also informative). i'm really glad some people are really making it work!
Thanks gals, I hope it helps. I have to admit it has not been easy figuring out how to deal with my Virgo man. He has caused me a lot of emotional ups and downs in the process. One thing I didn't mention as well, is how he likes to be in charge. Initially I thought this equated to being controlling, but it's not quite the same thing (although I admit, it is a very fine line). He wants to wear the pants in the relationship and that's that. If I actually push for intimate time with him, he will resist or make excuses. Do you know ANY other man who would turn down such an offer - omg, this drove me nuts about him initially - NO other man I know would turn down an invitation for some "fun". So I thought for sure he had lost interest in me or found someone else. Nope, he just wasn't going to let me tell him what to do.
He is very much more mental when it comes to getting excited about intimacy, than physical, but once he is excited about it he is intensely passionate and physical. So now I never ask directly for intimacy (and definitely don't nag - that will guarantee a longer wait), I just talk about things that I especially like about him and the things we do together. This gets good results actually. It demonstrates to him what I appreciate about him, he likes that little ego boost too of hearing how hot he is, lol, and next thing you know HE decides we need to spend a little time together. I will say too, that at times when he talks about "exploring" new activities between us I figured out that it's more like he's testing me. He really DOESN'T want to know that I have any thoughts whatsoever about what we're not doing, because that would actually make him feel like I wasn't satisfied with him. I think he can't bring himself to ask if I'm satisfied with him, so he takes a "back-door" approach to the topic. I just tell him, "you know, I'm so comfortable with you that I'm open to trying whatever you like, but it's so great being with you as it is, I just never think about that stuff! So if you want to try something new, you'll have to let me know". This makes him feel good about himself because he is assured that he is satisfying me, and keeps him "in charge" as well in case he does want to try some new things.
If I ever did want to try something my guy has suggested I would let some time pass and approach it with, "you know, YOUR idea to try such and such has really got me thinking...let me know if you decide you'd like to try it". Virgos are always right you know, so just go ahead and let him own all the "good" ideas whether they were his or not. If you really love him it doesn't matter who had the good idea, especially if it gets you more of what you need out of the relationship. Once you've let him know he's got a really brilliant idea going, maybe he will be inspired to want to give it a try!
Such a balancing act dealing with these men, mine is so full of contradictions. I'm sure it also sounds like my whole relationship is about keeping him happy, and in so many ways I guess it is, lol, but isn't there just something so lovable about these guys that makes you feel good when you keep them happy too. I guess because they're such chronic worriers and workaholics, and so willing to give up their own happiness in service to others, that getting them to stop and feel relaxed and happy is it's own reward somehow.
Well good luck ladies. Don't think for a minute I have my guy figured out here either, every time I relax and think we're finally on the same page, he throws me a new curve. Hmm, did I say he was boring? I guess I'd have to say he is but he isn't. If your Virgo is like mine, you'll understand what I mean. He seems to like a routine lifestyle, but his mind is the farthest thing from routine.
Oh hey, here's a question for all of you with more years of experience with Virgo men than I have; do your guys tell you that they love you? Mine said it one time, in an e-mail. It was just a one sentence message. He told me a couple of things he liked about me and then, out of the blue he said, "in fact I love you". Of course that put my heart a'flutter, but he never said it again, and I can't even fathom him saying it to my face yet. Are your Virgo men so reserved with speaking about "love"? As always, I don't question him about it or push the issue, just happy to have heard it once, lol. Even when he "said" it, I kept my reply simple, saying only, "that makes me smile because I love you too." Never spoke of it again, lol. Would be interested in your experience with this subject though if you care to share. Thanks!
Again thank you SO MUCH for your incredibly insightful reply, I love reading whatever you type on this topic. You write very well too. What sign are you???
In regards to your question about saying "I love you", my Virgo has his moon in Pisces so his cold tendencies are softened quite a bit. He does tell me he loves me usually every day, imagine that, but he's not hip on hugging and kissing alot. He is also the most compassionate person I've ever known. ...and the being in charge thing you wrote about is on the MONEY. Since I am a Capricorn this is a real challenge for me. I have to try really hard to use the right words, etc...
and you are right, it does take ALOT of effort to make it work. ALOT. The perks of my Virgo are that he is a great daddy to our 22 mo old baby girl, he is a devoted husband and exceedingly responsible (not in a dorky way).
ayeeee,could this be the key I've been looking for. I've been seeing a virgo kind of on and off(or at least thats how it seems to me) for a little over a year and he's driving me NUTS. Just when I think he's not interested or doesnt care he does or says something totally unexpected! HELPPPPP :))))
bluewatermama - I am a Cancer, so being a fellow cardinal sign I understand you're pain with the "control" thing. We have it in us to lead, not follow. Being somewhat introverted myself, I tend to lead more "quietly", but it is always there and does not go unnoticed by my Virgo. I know that he actually respects me for it, when I keep my "control" tendencies in the realm of work or running my household, but when it comes to him/us...well, suffice to say he has outright said, "you need to let me lead this relationship, learn how to follow sometimes". I was feeling uncertain about things between us at the point he made that comment, and pushing him to explain to me where things stood, i.e. making a stink.
So with that comment, rather than fight about it, I simply said, "okay", lol. I mean what he was saying was, "we're just fine, quit trying to run things, and creating worries over nothing, and just trust me". It actually felt pretty good to let things go, and although I still have bouts of wanting to know where things are going with us, as I suggested in my last post, I have now discovered that there are ways to get him to tell me what I need to know without being demanding or creating a confrontation.
I understand what you are saying about "compassion" and "responsibility". Both great qualities when kept in balance. My guy can sacrifice his own happiness in the name of compassion and responsibility and we have had some serious talks about him feeling okay about wanting some happiness for himself - not ALWAYS feeling like he has to be there for everyone else. Because what too often happens is that he gives to others, they take advantage, then he ends up hurt and resentful. He gives straight from his heart, you know, so it is very sad to see the results when someone doesn't appreciate his efforts. One heartfelt "thank you" will make his day, those who forget that...well, suffice to say I believe he can hang onto a hurt far longer than a Cancer, lol!
Random comment here - I've been pulling some overtime at work lately, and I got a little e-mail from "R" yesterday. All it said was: "how's work going? I miss you........" (Followed by a naughty comment that I can't repeat here, haha.) See what I mean, he just connects with that work thing and for whatever reason it draws affection out in him. Cracks me up, but it also makes me feel really good, because I now understand that he is saying so much more than what it appears on the surface there.
Mayissa - There is no help for you, LOL! I've been through that same cycle over and over. Omg, how many times I've said to my friends, "well, I think me and 'R' are really over this time", and I'll be darned if he doesn't say just the right thing to settle my fears. I mean almost like he can read my mind/heart, he will have just the right answer. My best guess here, ("guess" being the operative word with a Virgo man) is that once my guy says something it's sort of written in stone, unless something dramatic happens to change his mind. I will admit that at times I have been that "dramatic something" because he had me so dang confused about what was going on between us. Does he care or not? Do we have a future or not? But what I've come to figure out is once his mind is made up about something it stays put. So right from the beginning, if there hadn't been something about me that he really, really appreciated and wanted to pursue, he wouldn't have bothered with me at all. Given what my emotional, insecure Cancer-self has put him through this past year, I have no choice but to believe that he finds something between us that is worth hanging on to and holding that thought is what what sustains me in the relationship.
Mayissa, Virgo's are extremely picky in all things and you are no exception. If your guy didn't feel something for you deeply after a year's time I truly believe that he would have moved on by now. I know it stinks not getting regular affirmation of his feelings, but if you can have blind faith in the fact that he's still hanging around for a very good reason, then maybe he won't drive you quite as nuts. ("quite" being the operative word in this statement).
If you pay close attention they seem to find their own little ways of letting you know they care, but I don't expect to ever hear any passionate exclamations of my guy's love for me. He is very much about "pay attention to my actions and not my words", and has said as much. In his mind, the fact that he is "with" me says all that needs to be said. I will also tell you that he has outright said to me, "talk to me from your heart or I'm not listening". As mental as he, and most Virgo's are, he easily sees the difference between what is simply a thought I have about things and what I really feel about things. AND rest assured he is paying full attention to my actions as well. When you really think about it, that is a good thing, because it says that he is paying attention to what really matters, paying attention to who I really am based on how I conduct myself and live my life, and isn't persuaded by anything I might say out of confusion or emotionalism. Good thing, because I have gone pretty emotional on him a couple of times out of my insecurities, lol.
So hang in there Mayissa, try to understand where he is really coming from and maybe he'll make more sense. Maybe........ lol. I often get frustrated because I think my guy is operating at a snail's pace when it comes to our relationship, but more and more I'm starting to realize that he made up his mind a long time ago, and I'm the one who keeps questioning things and putting us through all the ups and downs. Things already are in a good solid place, it's just a place that doesn't "look" like any other relationship I've ever had. Is it possible that you do the same thing? It's hard not to, but again, if you can get a handle on what you are reading into things, versus what is really going on, you might find some peace of mind. Hopefully I have helped and not just confused you further, lol!
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"I often get frustrated because I think my guy is operating at a snail's pace when it comes to our relationship, but more and more I'm starting to realize that he made up his mind a long time ago, and I'm the one who keeps questioning things and putting us through all the ups and downs."
~Jenever, you could write the book on Virgo! It is eerie how true your descriptions are...unfortunately me and my Virgo broke up today. I had been questioning his effort in the relationship, or more than that our compatibility...
Just as you did I also only had been finding out recently that he did make up his mind on me a long time ago, that's why we had been together for 4 1/2 years. It was weird to me tonight, we got in our biggest argument yet, we rarely or possibly even never had any serious fights until tonight...but he just let out all this bottled up emotion accusing me of "tearing him apart inside" because I don't feel the same about him anymore. (A lot of it was really just acting on my part or distancing myself to let him know I was serious about a breakup if things didn't change.) He also was telling me how much he loved me and how he always has and that he's been a loyal and true boyfriend. BUT there was also a bunch of name-calling and other unmentionable insults sent my way for reasons unknown to me that I just can't excuse, so bad that we didn't even officially say we were breaking up but it was just kind of understood because of the harshness of his words and actions on the car ride back to my house to take me home...(and later he was really mad at himself)
To put it in context, my boyfriend hardly ever has yelled at me before, and it was so unexpected. I was having a horrible day today with a lot of bad things happening to me (which he saw) and we were on our way to a restaurant he really wanted to go to. When we got there we paid for parking and then found out the restaurant was closed, he was really mad and started yelling at me about where else to eat and I didn't know because of my recent stresses and I was starving...I didn't want to argue with him so then the yelling got worse. He picked up some food for us and I wouldn't eat it because of his crazy ranting etc... and just wanted to go home, all the insults started on the drive home.
The thing about him that seems different from your Virgo's is that mine wasn't compassionate at all. He always seemed to kick me when I was down just like tonight. He never paid attention to things I would do because he thought he knew all about me. A lot of times when I would be telling him something important he wouldn't even be making eye contact. Most of all, he never really seemed to have my back when I was in a bad situation. I'm sad because he wants me to take him back but I just don't know if I can do that after tonight. He left me messages saying he's sorry he called me awful names and that it's killing him that I don't love him the same. Sighh...sorry I didn't mean to turn this thread into a breakup story, but it's just such a weird coincidence that you guys wrote on something that I'm going through too. I don't really expect any advice just wanted to add by demonstrating my experience with the same kinds of things.
I guess opposites don't really work out, we're opposite signs on the chart, me as a Pisces and him a Virgo. Supposedly this relationship isn't a bad match just not the best match, and it can last if you know there is a lot of compromise. I guess I'm just not willing to compromise romance in a relationship, (and of course not harsh personal insults to top it off :< ). I was thinking I would be able to since like you guys said the responsibility and loyal nature is very endearing and loveable...passion expressed differently. We were definitely making it work for a long time...but somewhere it just got messed up for us. I'm thinking it's more me than him because that's just how he is, not good at expressing his emotions...but I'm a hopeless romantic Pisces with a dramatic Leo moon, and eek...venus is in Aquarius so I need a little spice. So no disrepect to you ladies with loving Virgo's...I think me and him are just incompatible. Now I'm at a crossroads because I almost always take him back because I feel the loyalty, but the way he treated me tonight (and a few other reaaaaallly bad periods of bad treatment) I can't forget that.