Aries...Will I ever get it right!
This is my first ever post n I'm not sure if I am a lost cause or whether ya'll can help!
I'm an out n out Aries in every way unitl it comes to love....in this area of my life I am a disaster!
Looking back at relationships in my past I realise that I have made the same mistake over and over.... I march headlong into the relationship without really thinking about it and come out of it later wondering what on earth we had in common in the first place!
My main problem is that I absolutely hate hurting people and tend to think that things will get better... but they never do, I always end up feeling achingly empty and the relationship inevitalby breaks down. Are Aries just not the type to fall in love and settle down? Anyone got my syndrome I'd love to hear that I'm not on my own!
I'm about to take a nap, but saw your post and wanted to comment. I am assuming you are female, and that can make a difference in my response. Obviously, I do not know all the denominators of who you are, your specific history, age, etc. So, that said, I can only base my gut-instinct, etc., on what you've provided--and of course, your sign.
The problem with Aries is that they want to be loved, but don't know how to handle "the guns" and properly fire. More specifically, they fire too fast and all over the place. This stems from their exuberance and impatience. Aries types want to hit that finish line quicker than anyone, and they want it now.
This isn't to say Aries types aren't hard workers; in fact, they are one of the hardest working signs out there. The problem is, they do have a slight disconnection of that requirement when it comes to love.
Aries types are very physical people, and very flighty. This often causes them to not fully pay attention to what THEY really want...and what their partner is all about. The deeper layers are rarely peeled back and examined. Aries are just ADD about that sometimes...not to mention don't often have the patience to sit down and deal with something like that. This usually sets the relationship up for failure.
Now, like you said, you hate hurting people. I dated an Aries man and he was impatient, quick to get things rolling, and never really stopped and dealt with ME. I became almost out of sight, out of mind. But when he cheated on me...for years he apologized for ruining the best thing he'd ever had. He hated that he hurt me, and this tore him up for years on end. I do believe Aries types have strong emotions...but unfortunately it is in reverse...that is, after the damage is done.
You mentioned how you "never really thought about it" when you marched into the relationships. That says something, and is classic for an Aries. You are going through the motions, but not really feeling and thinking when it's needed. It's only when you're at a loss, your brain and heart opens up and connects each other. Then you're feeling what you should've plugged into during the relationship.
If you can be aware of this right from the beginning, I am sure this will greatly improve your chances of reading and feeling out who you're dating, and if he is right for you. You'll be tuned into what you want, what he wants, and if that works for the two of you. If it doesn't, then out you go, but much earlier in the game, and less pain incurs.
I'd start a journal and really ask yourself what you want for you and in a partner. I believe thinking and feeling it--something Aries have got to sit down and have patience to do--is key to changing that Aries bad habit. Hope this helps some.
WOW! You know I actually wrote "disconnected" but thought it a horrible way to explain how I felt!
It's strange isn't it..... Ariens want sooo much to be loved but have an innate ability to run away from the nitty gritty details of loving! Yep, I'm female, tks for your insight!! I'll work harder I promise
Yes NightOwl 13,,, Your so right ! You have alot of insight Kudos !
and this is coming from an 58 yr old women that has finally coming around to
the relization that life is so much sweeter when taking your time ... in alot of different
areas of life from Love life to Patonic relationships and even working with co-workers .....
P.s. What sign are you ?
Oh wow, this is hurtingly accurate, LOL! I feel like I'm some kind of hyper active poodle on acid, when things arent happening nownownow i start freaking out and running around in circles. It's only recently that someone forced me to slow down that I'm starting to think about these things. It's all about the impatience....
I think we also can't stand mundane, routine things. So we need to always be changing things up. I dont think this means we can't be committed, we just have to get creative with how to keep the relationship fresh. Wow, hard to satisfy much...lol.
I have a very good friend who is Aries. She is also in the same situation. She actually said she is not lucky when it comes to love, but I disagree. There is always someone for everybody, she just haven't found this person yet. She really is a go getter in every sense. Actively promoting her business, always stay positive, cheerful and helpful. We don't always see eye to eye, but when I am down she will stand by me, and so I will do the same for her when necessary. Although it's kind of rare because she is not one for melancholy so it's hard to know when she is down, she is always busy so I guess that helps her get over loneliness.
Her sense of independence is very strong. It really is no surprise that she keeps her business and raised her daughter on her own, even after a painful divorce that sunk the business assets and torn her heart. The way I see it, it is not true that she is not lucky enough to find the right man. It's the man not lucky enough to find her yet. She once wondered if she has to change, less independent, less competitive etc maybe that will attract men to her more. I told her 'no way!' the man has to love her for who she is, not who she is not. I really don't know what makes men leave her, even after all she went through, she is still such a caring person and if they are looking for physical attraction, she is good looking and know how to take care of herself.
We have one similarity. She is afraid to die alone. I used to have the same fear, but I got over it, maybe because as a Leo I'm prone to love myself over everything else. I somehow feel that this is what caused her pain. If you are afraid to die alone, you will be prone to do anything to make men stay, even if your instincts tell you he doesn't deserve you. I don't know if this goes for all Aries females, but I found at least 2 more like her feeling about the same. I am sure you people will find love. Just live your life as positive as you can. There is time for everything. Yours will come someday.
I found this website, real fun to read www dot novareinna dot com have fun read your sign there
This is so painfully true, i just barge in.. want it all right now, my god then it goes all wrong.. it's just who we are but once we realise and except it part of who we are, then come tha hard bit of teaching our innerselve about balance and patience.
I've learn't this year just that, i must have patience, i know ive screwed up it a big way.
Best advice, when you feel it comming on i know it's corny but take ten, and think Rome was'nt built in a day,
dana>>This is so painfully true, i just barge in.. want it all right now
Sandran>>I speak of experience.My son's father was an Aries and my son is also an Aries.My son acts like this.All about him.No regard to other peoples feelings.Wants it done now..Won't wait.I have to drop what I am doing.I call it kissing/sucking up..LOL
I notice that with younger aries, but the older one, 30s above they seem to have toned it down
but yeah it also depends on what other planets they have in the birth chart
the males I notice if I don't fight fire with fire, they cool down but they can really exhaust people for they always want things done fast
Fellow Aries here. Great with the friends and family and work not so much with lovers. Guilty as charged! OUCHIE.
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leo>>I don't fight fire with fire, they cool down but they can really exhaust people for they always want things done fast
Sandran>>I have been totally exhausted with an Aries.My son's father had real trouble with love back in the day.That I think he was a Virgin..LOL..You can just tell.But, that was ok.Since he is gone now.My son is picking up his traits.Shows the same personality.Almost like having his dad over again....LOL
Sandran>>The only 21 year old virgin I ever saw..LOL
As an aries I have to disagree with some of this. I do not just barge in. It is incredibly hard for me to trust so I am always on the look out for everything. I immediately pick up on when something is wrong in a relationship. I do not at all feel that I am disconnected.
With family and friends I am happy go lucky exuberant and all of that but in matters of the heart I am much more careful and guarded.
Personally I do not think being unlucky in love is because of our sign. I believe that not every relationship is meant to be permanent and as women we tend to believe it will be because we are programed to want that happily ever after. I am not sure if I make sense but thats how I feel
I was dating an Aries man for 3 months. Every evening he called me like clock work. Showered me and my kids with gifts. Invited me to his sons wedding just 2 months into the relationship. i met almost all his family within 3 months. Yet our first phone call started when he said,"I don't know where this will lead but let's give it a try and go slow." i replied 'let's just have fun for now' I tried to take it slow but he pulled all the punches. Singing to me, playing love songs on while driving somewhere, and the introducing me to all his family. We were wonderful with each other. Once I told him that I really liked him, he became distant. Staring into space kinda. Then reminds me that we agreed to go slow. I somewhat ended it because i seen and felt him pulling away. i told him I started to have feelings for him and asked if we could talk about it and he said he would call me when he knew what to say. It has been 3 weeks now and no more calls. I'm a Pisces and he is Aries. I am very conscious of seeing signs of withdrawal and i jump ship before it sinks. I miss him bad. But the ball is in his court.
I am an Aries as well and I have problems in the love department. My friends and even my love interests say I am too nice to people, that's why I get walked on so much. When I love and deeply care for someone, I tend to try and make their lives better and let myself and what my self needs waver to the way-side. I let those I love hurt me over and over until I have had it, which takes a while for me to get to that point. Then I am just done and there is no going back for me.
I am not sure if I have answers for the original poster, but maybe by me placing my experiences as a fellow Aries sign, I can provide thoughts for you and others and prehaps, even myself.
I am at a cross roads in my life currently, alot has happened in just a year, for me. I am trying to reconnect with me and find out who she is. I have spent my adult life trying to fix everything for everyone else, caring and taking care of everyone in my life, I have not learned to think of me first, which sounds weird for an Aries, I think.
I also lack self confidence. I do not look of myself as anything special. Although, which I find amazing, people turn to me for advice and a listening ear, they turn to me, when they are in need, from figuring out something emotional to fixing something. I don't get it, when I am so confused and stressed in my own life.
My best friend says I am harder on myself, then anyone else is or could be. She's a Gemini. I am told that I give to much of myself to those around me and can't stand firm in boundaries unless I am completely done, no holds bar, in relationships.
So in a nut shell, I have no real answers. LOL
kay>>people turn to me for advice and a listening ear, they turn to me, when they are in need, from figuring out something emotional to fixing something. I don't get it, when I am so confused and stressed in my own life.
Sandran>>My son's father was just like this.I had to reassure him Do not make yourself available when someone comes crawling over.He needed constant budging listening to me.It feels like you aare being used.I am the same way.Nobody ever calls me,writes comes over to visit unless they have a problem.All through school.I only had friends when they were depressed.And once they were higher spirits. They ran.But, when I need someone to talk to .There was no one.A Cancer trait is a good listener.But,where do we turn when we need uplifted?
cslow>> am very conscious of seeing signs of withdrawal and i jump ship before it sinks. I miss him bad. But the ball is in his court.
Sandran>>Don't give up hope.I went through this with an Aries.But, I am Cancer.You just scared him.Just give him time.And he needs a little space.If you get him back.Do Not repeat and say you like him.The words might be too much for him to grasp.Keep emotions to your self until he says it first.
I AGREE.....45 old Aries..Learning to slow down ...And CHEW..