I desperately need help. Please. If anyone is willing to do a reading or talk
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. I love him as much today as I did when we first met, and I can't imagine life without him but we have some problems that won't seem to go away. In the past, I always broke down and went to him or contacted him, but for it has been two weeks since our last fight and I haven't gone after him. He contacted me a few days ago, and things got worse.
I don't want to bore everyone or write a long post now, but if anyone would be kind enough to help me, I will be eternally grateful. There are no words to express my pain now.
I won't be able to do a reading until later, but wanted to let you know that I'll be getting to it, so sit tight.
I just saw your post and wanted to respond. First of all, let me say that I'm so sorry for the pain that you're going through right now...but know that you are not alone and on these forums and this website, there is so much support and help available.
No doubt, before the day is done there will be many who will answer your post and offer you good advice and give you readings that will help you to see what you are going through and the pain you're experiencing now in a different light - as something to embrace, understand and move beyond, rather than avoid.
I'm hopeful that my insight will help you also. You said that there are fights and problems that won't go away until you break down and give in...you even call yourself 'hisbabylove'. It seems that there is a power imbalance in the relationship and you've given everything away - even your own identity in order to appease him and 'keep' his love and attention. I don't mean to be harsh, but these relationships are abusive and are not healthy for you, nor him, nor do they resolve on their own.
Your insight is telling you one thing, your emotions another. By walking into the pain you're feeling, you can more readily decide if you want to keep reliving the same unresolvable issues, or if you're ready to look at why you're drawn to this unsatisfying relationship in the first place. Introspection into your own motives can be the healthiest path - and despite all the guidance you may receive from this forum, you're the only one who can decide what is right for you.
Meditation may help you to calm your mind so that you can see your own situation more clearly. If you've never meditated before, it's as simple to get started as sitting down and letting go of your thoughts. Quieting your mind will give you peace - whether or not you receive guidance from that still small voice inside.
I'll check back later in the day to see how you're doing. But please know that there's so much love and light coming your way, and that you are not alone.
life is not meant to be stagnant. it has to move forward. this incudes life of a relationship.
I don't know what happened, but if this has been going on for 3 years, you need to take a break and analyze your relationship. Is it healthy? do both of you contribute into it, or is it just you?
many people think they are meant for each other, but if this is true, then the relationship will be one where each individual contributes into it. in this relationship, you are equal. nobody gives more or takes more than the other. If this describes your relationship or at least close, then by all means stand by it. But if it doesn't, don't let it stop you from moving forward. There are two lives involved in a relationship, if one suffers, the relationship will suffer. Take your time off him, go somewhere quiet, turn inward and be honest. Have you been suffering, and how long has this been going on? Was it all your fault, or was he not admitting his mistakes? This is a conversation between you and your inner self, honesty will give the best result. You will be able to make decision based on it. Take care.
I believe that after 3 years if you don't get what you want out of the relationship, it's time to bail. Set him free. That may be the ONLY way for him to realize your place in his life. Block all thoughts of him so he'll feel you are "off" not "on" with him. I had to face this too with 2 years into the relationship. Is this man on drugs or just immature? I sort of sense he is into drugs and you are not. These relationships usually don't work because the addict will always be an addict first. That's their job - being an addict. It keeps them from seeing you as you are. They see you as an interference in their habit. I reached a fork in the road finally. I took the turn to go the opposite direction from him. Very tough decision, but good for my future. If a guy digs you he treats you right, is considerate and respectful. He wants you to feel good. If he can't do that, get tough, get strong, choose yourself first and choose the right path for you! Someone else will be on that path. In fact many are on that road these days. You aren't alone believe me. Men and women are so different, it's amazing that they pair up at all! We just can't control fate and destiny. It's not under or control. We can only face it with courage. Have strength and courage, think positively and start moving forward one little step at a time. Emotional pain is just as horrible experience as physical pain. But you can choose to move away from it. I have to take my own advice here. I know where you are and you will make it thru this.
Here is your reading
4 of Cups-mixed emotions
Mother of Cups-motherhood
7 of Stones-failure
Your a very loving person. You love in a very motherly way, there might be a pregnancy coming up for you or you already have children. There has been dissatisfaction in your relationship. This could be something felt by either of you, but I think if you really think about it you could see this as something you yourself have felt for a while. The path to something better looks too difficult. I think you want a different kind of relationship than what you currently have, but the thought of ending this and moving on seems too frightening. I think you would rather this guy change to fit your image of what could be. The seven up stones shows that the relationship is deteriorating. Please try not to be depressed if this is the case. I truly think that you are being led to a happier situation. You may have to go through some pain to get there but it will be worth it in the end. Keep in mind that readings are just a glimpse into the probable future of a situation. You have free will and things could change. However, I think if you were honest with yourself you would find that you haven't really been happy with the relationship with this guy. I wish you all the best.
Hi. Just checking in. Hope you're feeling better.
Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond to me and for so kindly doing so. A lot of what you said is true, but I have to clarify, the baby love part is a pet name we both call each other. He isn't abusive at all, the main problem is his being abandoned and/or let down a great deal, as well as the scarring deaths of his mother, grandmother, and closest aunt in a 16 month period when he was a small child make him both expecting to be abandoned and proactive in creating situations that cause him to think I will abandon him. I realized this early on and tried to show him that it isn't the case here, but I have become exhausted and impatient with his refusal to look into himself and just TRY to grow. Instead, the small things turn into huge things and it becomes difficult and even unfair for me to respond to him. He then gets overly dramatic and I, much as my heart breaks to do it, stop responding after telling him that I will not participate in such destructive arguments.
I know my going to him in the past gave him a sense of assurance and I know he's afraid now that this much time has passed without my doing so. I'm not punishing him, I'm heartbroken but tired of shouldering the responsibility. I would do it forever if he ever wakes up and takes responsibility for his (even subconsciously) sabotaging himself and US, and I hurt for his hurt as well as my own....
I'm very, very sad and lost
Thank you, with all my heart for your caring. It means more than I can express.
Thank you for sharing your story and wisdom with me.
He and I both have the same exact attitude towards drug use, our problems have nothing to do with that. I have had people very close to me deal with addiction and I know the pain you went through. I will remember you in my prayers and wish you everything good.
Thank you. I can't believe how generous and kind you are.
I am Lost. After the reading, a bit shattered. Im trying to meditate and focus but I cant think our see beyond the ache inside....
Thank you for taking the time to do that for me. I'm a little too grief stricken to think clearly now, but I wanted to express my gratitude for your generosity.
I wanted to thank you all again for taking the time to respond to me. It means so very much.
Hope things feel better soon!
Thank you emereaux. You're so very kind. I am both grateful and comforted by your compassion and concern.