Internal Conflict: Him or Him?!



  • This isn't something new, most people have a problem with this at least once in their life.

    As you would of guessed, i'm having trouble choosing between two guys.

    Let me tell you more about the situation before asking for advice.

    I am with my boyfriend of 4 Months, not so much i know.

    Everything was going great and happy until october 14 which happens to be the full moon in Aries i believe?

    Ever since then, i have felt the relationship is going nowhere/missing something.

    I feel sad, i.e; on friday when i went on a date with him to the place we usually go to, i felt sad and sort of alone.

    Another problem, i'm attracted to other men, does that mean i don't love my boyfriend?

    My internal Conflict is that i have a crush on this OTHER guy that my current boyfriend doesn't even know exists.

    I have asked my Girlfriend for advice but, that hasn't helped.

    I chose not to tell my boyfriend about my small crush because i chose to wait until the situation either ended or me and my boyfriend got happier like we used to.

    Even he's noticed we're seperating and i think it's my fault because of my interest in another guy.

    Now i know i would never go out with the other guy but my true problem is of what to do.

    Should i leave my Boyfriend?

    Help!



  • Hi, It's nothing new to develop crushes on other people. But remember, you need to get to know people. Try to realize or understand what you and your boyfriend have in common. If you just can't concentrate on the relationship anymore, maybe it's time to meet other people. I don't believe in going whimsical, but rather getting to know folks.



  • I would try to get to know this crush of mine is just i don't want to develop an even bigger crush on him, and my other fear is that he might just think i'm strange or not like me.

    Stupid insecurities i have i guess, like yesterday i went to my boyfriends house, i felt somewhat relaxed and content but still something missing, can't quite put the finger on it.



  • Also in case it matters i'm a taurus with a virgo boyfriend crushing on another virgo.



  • Hi there, Taurus and Virgo are usually a hot combination... so its not surprising.



  • Hmm....I'm actually on the cusp with Taurus and all my life I seem to have been drawn to Virgos and Leos! My experience with Virgos....I was married to one for 15 years....now married to a Leo.

    Regarding your situation....I sense that your current man is not the one for you. He may be nice but he hasn't set you on fire..and you're getting bored. Your crush is a diversion. Being a taurus you are being stubborn as you know your current relationship is fizzling out but are you scared of letting go. To be honest, I can't sense an improvement....but you've got two options...

    ...call it a day with your boyfriend...leaving you young,free and single to pursue other avenues whether long or short term OR stick with your boyfriend...but is it really fair on either of you? That "missing" element will always be present. In time your boyfriend will start to niggle you...not his fault necessarily.

    Funnily enough at the end of my first marriage I started to develop a "crush" on a male virgo friend of mine. When I found out my ex was having an affair I turned to my male virgo friend for support....the sparks between us were electrifying!...but we didn't consummate the relationship.

    Finally, if you do finish with your boyfriend....why not get chatting to this other virgo? He may have the "missing" element and the right combination for you....Good luck and have lots of fun!



  • I was married to a Virgo and my long term boyfriend in college was a Virgo. I am a Taurus as well. Although the compatibility charts say that we are compatible I never felt totally connected to them. I felt the "somethings missing" from each of them. The relationships lacked the spark that makes you happy to be with that person. There was nothing intriguing about both relationships. Now, I seem to attract Libra men who totally adore me but my experiences with them is they are often conflicted and unsure that they want to commit to me for whatever reason so I keep them in the "hot and heavy "category where I don't expect much to come out of it. I have had deep connections with Capricorn men but it is often like a "big brother" situation where we date but then we become great friends afterwards and they become very protective of my feelings with others when we I date other men. I have had two Cancerian men in my life lately (I did a post about one). I love the fact that they both have been genuinely interested in who I am as a person. They want to get to know me TOTALLY, so if you ever get to date one of these guys you must be truly self aware because they are analyzing your every move. They also are very mysterious and that keeps curious Tauruses wanting more!

    I have been dating two Taurus men for the past couple of weeks, one keeps me entaintained because he just tells all of his secrets up front, and that is so funny to me because was like that when I was younger and less self aware (He is 37 though and I am 31 so he obviously has not taken time to truly look at this as a flaw). That situation is so funny because he can't understand how I know him so well and we've only met a few weeks ago. The other is more researved. He is expressing that he wants a relationship but he has a few "battle wounds", he is 42 and has been engaged twice with no trip to the altar. I know these traits too, they are very similar to my current situation, single but wanting a relationship but wanting the situation to be right because I've experienced a failed marriage. So dating a Taurus is like dating yourself, you get an opportunity to reflect on your good and bad traits IF you are self aware enough to notice.

    I say all of this to say, it has been my experience that love compatibility charts are good to give you some sort of heads up on what you are getting but when it comes to Virgos, Capricorns and Tauruses the match may not be for "romantic" love compatibility, you all can live together peacefully but the quality of the relationship may be blah! I dated a Sagitarius and a Aries man and I somewhat liked them as a person but I could never be in a serious relationship with them, esspecially the Aries, I would have "caught a case" dealing with him! LOL They both lied way too much and NEVER, EVER fessed up to the lies. Go with your feelings, they wrong! We Tauruses often get fixed in a situation because we committed ourselves to it and feel obligated to follow through but if you opt out people are not going to think less of you!



  • nicetaurus - you described a friend of mine to a T who's a taurus in your last sentence! She was dating this Leo guy and after 4 months went to Las Vegas with him. She wanted to chill out by the pool all day....he wanted to sightsee. They didn't share the same hobbies but never mind! They got back and she moved in with him, despite saying that she won't go on holiday with him again....so I guess he couldn't have been that bad! However, they started going out separately & she refused to go to some parties with him,stating she was tired ....so it doesn't seem surprising that he eventually met someone else who shared his passion for his hobbies. He finished with her before dating this other girl, who he eventually married and had kids with. Even years later though my friend still insists that their relationship could've worked despite the fact everyone else could see that the holiday was a disaster! She has admitted that she had fixed it in her mind that she wanted to marry...and he was the first man to have wealth and means to support her and she was embarrassed to admit the relationship was a failure so she clung on with all her might, making them both miserable. That's the stubborness coming out,I suppose. Thankfully she has a new boyfriend now and things are looking rosier than they have done for a while!



  • Yes rnrchick-we are bad with that! I've realized that I have stuck out several bad relationships out of "obligation". I have stayed with several guys out of obligation and I made a concious effort to stop this cycle. I read somewhere that Tauruses often settle for less than they are worth and with two toddler sons I can't afford to bring someone in my life that is substandard because I am affraid to let go.



  • Actually when I think about it "nicetaurus", a part of the Taurus in me must have kept me going in my first marriage...although I was getting "bored" and we seemed to have drifted apart I stuck to my vows like glue and I suppose that when he had an affair it gave me the strength to knock the marriage on the head - albeit 15 years late! I do always feel obligated to finish what I started ! Never thought about that before! Interesting insight. Thank you.


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