Fear of falling in love and getting hurt...help



  • I have been in an emotional long distance affair for 8 months and am in love with him. He is a Cancer and expresses his love daily, I am also a Cancer. We will meet for the first time next weekend and I am intensely afraid of taking it to the next level. The fear of getting hurt by giving myself to him physically is frightening. Why cold feet now after 8 months of expressing love? The need for a loving relationship is what spurs me on but the debilitating fear of giving my heart completely has me crying and somewhat withdrawn. Some input about what I'm doing and feeling would be most welcome.



  • Just give in to your emotions but first make sure he's the right one. Do not make excuses about his actions if he's doing things that you do not like. That's what happened to my sister and her relationship ended pretty quickly. I feel the same way you do about relationships but don't worry. Just love and if you're hurt the pain will go away someday. It will teach you and make you stronger. Just listen to your heart and follow it. Always love and never hate.



  • Thank you for your insight..... I do leap in with both feet if it feels right. Unfortunately past relationships that were hurtful leave residual fears. I have been dealt a few hurtful "lessons" and am finding mo0ving past them are getting easier. I intend to love this man with all I have, thanks again!!



  • Have you done a background check on this person yet? I would not suggest meeting them in person until you do.



  • Yes as a matter of fact I did do a background check, safety first of course. It's my heart that is fearful now not my head



  • Good for you, for doing a check. You can still take it slow, when you get there, if you want. I know it's hard when there has been 8 months of buildup, and you're trying to fit it all in one trip. The fear might be that the reality won't match the fantasy, it rarely does... but if you leave your expectations at home, and take your intuition with you, you should be fine. Good Luck to you.


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