Help me with this Cancer man!!
My cancer man did come on to me believe it or not! He started the whole thing, and I also believe that he is still trying to squeeze his way into my life by the above text. I have not been with him sexually in 2 months and I can tell that he wants me to. He is trying to tell me that I can come to him for that or anything else. Your replies have been very helpful and I am going to trust in that advice, starting tonight! I will let you know how my week goes!
Good Luck Wickedmoon!!! And do keep me posted =D
Virgocookie-thanks for your input. I don't know if my cancer is in love with me, but he made a very risky move. I hurt him 14 years ago and he showed up 13 years later to tell me he was holding on to this hurt all this time and had to express it to me. After he got it all out we ended up hooking up again and he made the move, and he's kept it at the physical level, but I can tell he's pretending he only feels physical attraction to me. I have not seen him for 3 months now, because he lives in another country. He was supposed to come see me last month but now he can't make it until january, he saids he's doing everything to get here, he just can't get time off work. I can't help loving him.
Hello, I must say that I am married to a cancerian and I can tell you for sure they never completely close a door on any relationship. They love to dwell on past relationships and may just for the hell of it get in contact with previous lovers just to see how they are doing. If that previous lover is happy to have a non committed sexual relationship with them, what the hell they will take it. He will act as if they have never been apart and take up where it ended even if that was badly. This does not mean that nothing ever matters to them it does. They are sensitive and they love all the attention so taking up a relationship from the past as well as conducting their present relationship is acceptable to them. They dont see that it is cheating they see it as they have been there before so whats they harm, after all its not a new person. They will deny, deny and deny even if caught red handed. They are masterful and may hide behind their shell. So take good care in this relationship of yours as I think you are Interested in this man otherwise you would not sell youself so short.
Hi Luazinha, I know about long distance relationship. My cancer works on a cruise ship and he's from Germany! Our relationship has been long distance. So I can relate very much to you. 14 years in total is along time and you grow as a person and both of you are not the same as how you were then...
From what you've written I can feel that he certainly has feelings for you and may be in love with you for him to come back after so many years, just proves that he has not stopped thinking of you, regardless of whatever reason he showed up at your front door. You must have hurt him deeply for him to express himself and tell you he's still holding on to the pain.
There could have been two reasons he showed up, one to get closure (but as Kindaries mentioned, which I agree with, Cancer don't let go, regardless) so he can move on. Two, he still has feelings for you (deeply burried) and he has to find out if when he sees you they're real.
From my experience with my Cancer, he does hold on to his ex girlfriends and feel that he can be friends with them, regardless if they have hurt him. He still keeps their pictures and he's shown me. I'm not the jealous type not unless I have been given a reason to be so it doesn't bother me. I trust him and I let him know this. For example one day he said that the girl he was seeing in the past recently contacted him and he made me read her email. He said I don't know how to answer this so I won't. I said fair enough probably better. Then he commented, I STILL WANT TO BE FRIENDS with her. Maybe in a couple of weeks I'll email her back. What duh?!!! So I said go for it, tell her you want to be friends. Now, I was really being sincere when I said, why don't you invite her for coffee and tell her what you feel, that you just want friendship let her decide if she's willing to be friends (he was astounded, bet he never heard that before) but the fact is if you see her, you won't be able to see me not till another month because you're only in port for a couple of hours each time... that made him think.
Now from a girls perspective, I was thinking, ridiculous! why do men, especially cancer men do that. After we've moved on and picked ourselves up. Out of the blue you get a text, email, phone call, a knock on the door in your case Luazinha, just to bring you back to the past!!! My point, Cancer men do feel they need to hold on. Kindaries couldn't have explained better. It is because of their conscience.
With your situation, it may apply. If you hurt him, their must have been a reason. As it takes two to tango.. your cancer may feel that it is unfinished business and has guilt and regret. Lo and behold, you may not both have expected that the feelings that brought you together 14 years ago can be rekindled 13 years later. And it does happen. It's a nice thing.
What you can do now, is stop thinking about the past and look forward to the positive things that can happen between you and your cancer man from now and in the future. You and him have been given a second chance. If, it's really him you want to be with. I don't know the whole story, but hope is what keeps us going. The hope of everything will work out.
As for the physical thing. Cancer men 'just don't have sex' they 'make love' there's feelings and emotions in all they do including in this department. I had a very similar conversation with my cancer man with emails to prove that they're not frivoulous... which means that your instinct is on the ball.
You got to be happy with the fact that he's telling you he is making every effort to see you!!! Shite happens and he didn't make it. But focus on the positive, he's bending steel to get to see you in Jan. Hold on to that thought and run with it. Another option, why don't you go and see him.
My cancer had a whole day and night off in another state and he said it would be nice if I was there. You know what I did, I booked a flight that very night, told him I was coming. He couldn't believe it. We spent the whole day and night together for the first time. He was over the moon! Up to now he still can't believe I would do that for him. It's now a testament of how much I love him and he mentioned that when he's feeling insecure or doubtful he just thinks of that time, my action and it all vanishes...
If we let our fears and insecurities and doubts hold us back, how do we move forward to attain what we most truly desire and want... happiness. At the end of the day, we all want to be happy. It takes courage to pursue happiness and you can get hurt on the way, but heck, you only live once and it's all about trial and error.
Luazinha, you love this man, that's for sure, and I feel he loves you. But both of you, not just him need to take the plunge and just do it. Whatever it takes to make each other happy. Please don't wait another 13 years, life is too short!
On a last note, cancer men are like us women, they look for assurance, safety and security, romance, a happily ever after. Tip: However you would like to feel they want the same. So communicate. Ask the questions, tell him how you feel and what you would like and know that he wants does too so give it back in return...
wicked|>>>about broke his neck to get to look at me, stares at me, always there for me whenever I need something, never disiplines me, always texts me back within a minute, I could go on and on...
Sandran712>>I have a similiar situation.I don't know what sign this A hole is.But, it's been going on for almost 6 years.This guy drives past my house constantly.Drives in a nice manner.As soon as he gets to my corner of the house He peels out like a raving lunatic..LOL..I was walking one day.And he followed me the whole way too and from.Scared me that I got into a car with someone I didn't know just to bring me closer to home.Throw him offtrack.He yelled out the window and told me my ass was big..LOL...Hmmm..I told him if my ass is bothering you ..you ain't got to look at it.After confronting him.He looks it like a game.When I have called the cops on him to report him.He changes the type of car he drives and starts over again.Cops won't do anything because he is not threatening my life.He is just irritating me.I call him a pervert and a sicko every chance I get...LOL
That's hilarious! You for real, Sandran?!! LOL. I would freak out. He sounds sooo creepy. It's creepy funny though at least you're not the slightest bit scared! Maybe you should start stalking him and doing what he's doing to you and see what he does. LOL. I magine that! hahah
Hi all, need some advice on my ex cancer.....we lived together he told me it wouldnt work, so i moved out, we had some harsh words between us. now 3 months later he rings me and wants to be intimate with me only. He claims he has a girlfriend who is always out of town. I told him i was seeing someone,(which im not). I did take up his offer to be intimate as I do love him still after all this time. After we met up we did what we had to do, didnt hear from him for 2 weeks, then he rings me again last nite wanting the same. I feel if he has a girlfriend and she can give him what he wants in the bedroom, then why ring me. He rang also today. He knows im seeing someone (but im not and he doesnt know that). What is he playing at.
In the 2 years we were together on and off, he only told me once that he loved me.
He was a once a week gambler. Which I gave him so much money.
Is he showing me that he wants me back or what. Im so confused dont know if I should just tell him to leave me alone.
Deep down i know this relationship wouldnt work i am 10 years older than him. But why if he has a girlfriend why ring his EX!!!!!!me.
Help me in this.
Im so confused.
He wants to be intimate friends only.
Knowbody knows about this,
@sandran712 --- GOSH how come you never shared this scary yet hilarious bit of info before!!! Reminds me of the first man I was ever involved with at the tender age of 17 LoL...He was 6 yrs older and almost well settled. I had him only for the heck of experiencing what a relationship felt like and told him so too!! He was okay with it initially but I guess eventually the guy did fall in love or so I believe...as after I told him I needed to break-up with him for I was going to someplace else for studies...all hell broke loose!! He stalked me and my friends and even camped outside my house for 2 days...Can you imagine the shame I went through those 2 months!!! I found him literally peering inside my washroom's window twice!!! LoL...And he even did some sorta black magic (so my aunt told me) on me...LMAO !!! And I kept hearing about how he teased, abused and harassed my friends everytime he bumped into them anywhere!!! He was reported to cops many times but never improved... SCARY !!!
virgo-thanks for your long post.
My cancer that showed up after 13 years...well, the main reason it took him so long is that we lived in opposite ends of the world. I used to live in Brazil, and 13 years ago I moved back to Asia. he lived in Brazil all this time and moved to another country in Asia last year, so he came to see me then, since we were at least in the same part of the world. I went back to visit Brazil 9 years ago, I called him to say hello, but I was really casual about it and that hurt him too.
He came to me saying he needed closure, and he didn't seem to expect anything, he even said he wanted to talk to me and he will never bother me again. I didn't even know I had hurt him. He felt rejected by me. I didn't want to get deeply involved with him 14 years ago because i was leaving, and also because he was so young. He said he got really depressed about it, and has never been able to get emotionally involved in a relationship because he always thought of me. He came for closure but he was here 5 days so I hung out with him and we ended up being intimate. It's funny, after he left I e-mailed him and said don't wait another 13 years to come find me again. To be honest, 14 years ago i did not have deep feelings for him, it was a casual fling to me, I guess it was deeper for him. I didn't allow myself to feel deeply because I was leaving. I am slow to fall in love but when I do it's quite real and deep, and i can control myself from falling in love somewhat, at least in the beginning.
I would love to go see him, but it's not going to work. You see, he's an international airline pilot, and the reason he couldn't come see me last month is because 3 pilots quit his airline recently and he has to cover the flights, so now he's hardly ever in his home city, sometimes he's out for 3 or 4 days at a time, or flies roundtrip flights and is gone for 11-12 hours at a time. they canceled his leave-he was supposed to go back to Brazil, come see me on the way. I don't even know what country he's in...I told him to let me know when he'll be flying to Manila, I'll go meet him there, but he hasn't responded.
So nice to hear cancer men don't just **** but they make love. I got that feeling, there was too much tenderness and loving for it to be just ****. I've been with men that was just ****, with him it feels so different. That's got me hooked too...
He hasn't brought up the past since that first night we talked until 4 am....it's as if he got it all out and everything is new again, he's not holding a grudge and the past doesn't matter any more, but I can feel he is still cautious. Sometimes I just want to tell him that I am NOT going to reject him again. I want to assure him, but I don't want to pressure him and make him run the other way.
astro>>He stalked me and my friends and even camped outside my house
Sandran>>It almost feels he is camped outside my house..LOLBut, just this morning he drives up the street.6-7 hours later he drives down the street.It might mean he is going to work.I saw this A Hole with a girl.I yelled up the street.Your boyfriend has been stalking me..LOL.I wanted this girl to know what she is dealing with.I think he has a kid.Damn I hope this boy don't grow up to be like his daddy...LMAO
Enough1 - I don't have good vibes with this relationship you have going with this Cancer.
It takes a lot of strength and courage to take action and move away from a situation that you feel is not good for you. So kudos to you for seeing it and distancing yourself.
It sounds like even he himself doesn't know what he wants, let alone you. If I were in your situation I wouldn't waste my time nor energy. I would still distance myself. He sounds like he just wants his cake and eat it too.
With my cancer man he mentioned he doesn't chase and if he sees that the girl is very keen or give in easy he loses interest. He said you have to trick them. And once they're in love with you that's the only way you can have them. My point, until they're in love with you and they tell you they are. They will just keep on taking what they can from you, whatever you give them.. even being friends with benefits. And If you do then the chances of making them fall gets slimmer and slimmer
"DEEP DOWN THIS RELATIONSHIP WOULDN"T WORK" - I think you already know the answer to your situation. And I can assure you, your instict and what your gut is telling you is RIGHT!!! Go with it.
Luazinha, that's such a sweet 'love story'. I really felt that. Seems my feelers were on the ball
I would certainly tell this man how I feel, if I were you...
1. You are both mature enough and in a position to make a commitment to each other
2. You get to find out where this is leading to and be in control
You shouldn't have to feel that he will run away (that's your fear talking) especially if you do it right. You're not going to demand anything, you're just testing the water...
My Cancer is from Germany and I'm living in Australia! He works on a cruise ship which travels to the South Pacific! So almost similar in terms of distance and both our Cancer men's wituation with work
What I did with my cancer, I laid it out on the table what I wanted in the beginning. I said I don't have the time nor energy to play games. That was it. I'm a Virgo and it takes me a while to fall too. My cancer even said in the beginning after I told him what I feel and think this was his reply 'You're not the person that fools around, me neither... so where do you think this leads too...now I need to find out if you are actually in love with me! That will take some days.... or weeks... or months.... I never wanted a distance relationship"
Why I'm putting that out is to make you aware that there is nothing wrong with you telling your Cancer, your expectations and what you would like, what will make you happy. If you don't tell them how will they know... After you tell them it is now up to them to do something about it.
Luanzinha> Sometimes I just want to tell him that I am NOT going to reject him again. I want to assure him, but I don't want to pressure him and make him run the other way.
You don't have to tell him straight you're not going to reject him. You'll do it indirectly in other ways. Subtle ways. You'll think of something. Just follow your heart. You can assure him through kind words, thoughtful actions and jokingly and assuring someone is not putting pressure on them to make them run awway.
There's a difference between all these, demanding and requesting. Aggressive and assertive. Helpless and vulnurable. You just got to find a way for you to express your feelings in a way that you can get him to reciprocate.
enough1>>Deep down i know this relationship wouldnt work i am 10 years older than him. But why if he has a girlfriend why ring his EX!!!!!!me.
Sandran>>well for one..This guy is a piece of work.Your age does not make a difference.You said he is your ex..Meaning..that a Cancer has a habit of being insecure with what he has and running back to old relationships.He is using you.If he meant anything why bother with a new girlfriend.I would not bother with this guy.He may have the tendency to spread a veneral disease to the both of you and then how would he explain this to his girlfriend?I call it the gift that keeps on giving...And it's almost Christmas....LOL
Sandran712>>He may have the tendency to spread a veneral disease to the both of you and then how would he explain this to his girlfriend?I call it the gift that keeps on giving...And it's almost Christmas....LOL
Bwahahaha!!!! That's hilarious. I am in fits from laughter!!! Hahahah. LOVE IT!
Sorry ENOUGH1 - no offence. But Sandran is right!!! Hahahaa. Then there'll be no jingle balls.. I meant bells. LOL
@sandran712 --- Haha...love what ya just said !!! LoLzzz . On a serious note, I have to agree with you as usual I've rarely seen a cancer thats 'secure' enough by the way, no offences meant to anyone They're always going back and forth, back and forth when it comes to partners!!!
@VirgoCookie --- Welcome aboard :):):):) Love your bit about jingle balls...too... I read about you and your cancer and am really glad about you being able to set it straight right from the beginning...Well, not everyone's lucky that way though...I'd say it depends on How Crabby a Crab is..LoL. The one I'm dealing with is hard to pin down for starters...every question is dealt with in a very roundabout manner, so to say!!! I was SURPRISED to find out how mature and wordlywise he is otherwise and so very well thought of by his friends and family, all this when he's merely in his early twenties (should hang myself for falling for a guy as young as that)!!! The guy knows what he wants and how to go about it too!!! The only bad part is the typical cancer mind games that he can't resist playing with me...LoL. And now that I want his but* outta my life, he wouldn't let me...so some more games coming up my way...haha
Thanks Asrtrodame. I've never joined a forum before. (Maybe that's why with the long posts!) I'm finding this very entertaining and enlightening. And it is in my nature to help people in any way I can. I've also always been interested in New Age in Astrology, Tarot, Witchcraft, Angel Cards, Runes, Crystals, a lot of stuff. I got my first Tarot cards at 15 years old and started then. I find I'm very good reading for other people and my intuition, feelings are almost on the ball, I just can't do it for me!!!
I came across this site when I was looking for compatibility reports. I've never been with a Cancer man and I've learnt so much about them from here. But I always look at the advice and opinions as just that and I keep in mind each individual is different and each situation/experiences are unique. It's just good to have other people point out things that you may have missed or hearing 'how it reallly is' from others.
I was laughing at some of the funny jokes and posts that have been posted by Sandran and yourself in other forums and it made me feel at ease.
I just hope that my contributions will be well received and will be helpful to those that are confused or need validation... plus getting a dose of laughter is a bonus, always good for the heart and soul I say =D
No way, I dated a younger man, 6 yrs my junior mid 20's and he was good to sleep with, needed work on the stamina department but all in all not bad. Have no regrets and I would certainly do it again
Do you think it is game playing with these cancer men, or merely mental challenges and stimulation?!!! I suppose it's the same except the latter sounds more positive
Keep us posted with your cancer stallion!!! I'm keen to know who'll get the points in the next round!
And THANK YOU again, for welcoming me, really appreciate it! =D
Hi Wicked. I have read your entire post. Virgo cookie's posts are long but great. I agree with them about 90%.
The best I felt was on your page 2 from Astrodame. That discribes me to a fault. I am a Cancer female (fighting with my own Scorpio drama --lol--) but yup, that's how I am. I left a post on "have I lost my Cancer b/f for good" on page 5. If you want you can give it a read.
When I am interested in somebody i'll start to slowly shift who I am with for the new person. Once I have the new person if I fall in love with them I want to build monuments for them if I can. They want for nothing. I will shower them with everydrop of attention, love and feelings I have.
If i am not in love-- well, sad to say I'll start looking-- then if I find another who grabs my eye-- i'll start shifting. Always leaving the door open like another poster said because I never want to totally shut any door. You never know-- it's always better to keep it open. I think.
Hope that helped. Good luck.
astrodame>>Well, not everyone's lucky that way though...I'd say it depends on How Crabby a Crab is..LoL
Sandran>>You mentioned how crabby a crab can get...Please do not tell me that the Cancer Crab is known for catching crabs..We did mention partners running back and forth like a trip to the walmart..LOL I do have to agree.I was not with my kid's dad first..
Hi MoonBeauty!!! Thanks for what you wrote about me posts. I love to express myself in writing cos I'm not that good verbally. Detached and aloof is me in person and relationships. Hope I didn't make you, well any of you fall asleep with my long posts. haha. Sowwy
Ok guys now I need input. I have a PANIC NOW and worry later disorder! Must come with being a virgo. I'll TRY and keep this post semi short
Now, my cancer and I have been talking wedding bells and marriage. The other day whilst chattin on FaceBook since he's somewhere in the Sth Pacific.... He was very adamant to get me to come for the 12 days NYE cruise from 28DEC. Now, If I say I will do something, I will do it and he knows this. But I wasn't sure if I can take leave for this specific date. So I was non committal, plus finance wise I couldn't. He said immediately he'll finance it and I just need to get time off.
Ok, so I was thinking why is he pushing this. Must have read my mind and wrote, "I have to tell you the three magic words"... so I said it back 'three magic words??" and I was thinking he already said he loved me. The he continued to write, it's four magic words actually not three "will you.....? - if I see your reaction and hear you it's better"
I would love nothing more than to get proposed to! But there's a saying "NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT A MAN SAYS AND LOOK AT WHAT HE DOES!" so I'm sceptic. What if on NYE he doesn't propose and I've already got my hopes up and expectations!!!
Every inch of my being is telling me he will. I'm anxious and excited at the same time. But I don't want to expect. Especially now he's not bringing it up anymore. Even whe I email him with comments or touch a little on it. He ignores it, dodges it. It may also because I told him, He has to Walk the Talk and not say anything he doesn't mean or not going to follow through as it gives false hopes. Not cool. OR he's just really doing it so it's a surprise still, making me feel and think 'will he or won't he"
I kind of am worried about the cancer, hot and cold, here one day gone the next. I know and feel I shoudn't with this cancer, since he's not shown me anything at all to doubt him. He's still been very consistent and loving. But I can't help but worry...
I would be the happiest woman if he did propose. It will be so romantic. We met on the same ship and if he proposes too on that ship especially on NYE, I will die!... with a huge smile on my face...
I'm worrying over nothing aren't I? or maybe it is something, Arrrggghhh... I worry, it gives me something to do!
Oh, and he's already arranged everything all the paperworks... OMG! I will be on the ship!!! I just hope I have a ring when I get off!!!