Help me with this Cancer man!!

  • Sandran, are you not able to find out in the white pages or something where this cancer of yours is dwelling?... is there no way we can stalk him (in a good way) not like your 'Little Rick' freaky way. I'm curious too. Do you have any other means of contacting him?

    Another way to ensnarl a cancer man and please do give feedback is to make em jealous. Cancer men are jealous in nature right?? I know mine is. Ok, so become Miss Independant and 'not purposely' we all have a life anyways, and make ourselves and our lives THE FIRST priority (this is what I did) and these cancer men a second or third until of course they start to commit. None of this I'm friends with you business because we have enough of friends. That would get them more interested right?!! And another thing, do you guys feel that if you were to mention another guy in passing 'another friend, 'guy friend' swirming around you... like make these cancer feel that they are not the only man chasing you and there are other possible candidates... would you think that that will get them to pick up speed or would that make you lose them? Any thoughts?

    Because I did all the above with my cancer man. He joked around and said something about breaking up with me to test my reaction, this was in the early days. And I said "OK, you think you're the only guy interested in me. I'm sure that the other guys would be thankful for that. You seriously don't think I have a line up of guys who want to date me and be with me. You're lucky I'm with you.." Well that shut him up and the next couple of times I saw him he said he loved me. He was the first to say it and the first to say I'm his girlfriend. After that I called him 'my boyfriend. And he said 'Oh you have a boyfriend?' my reply was 'Yes. I own you now' hahaha.

  • Virgo>>'Little Rick' freaky way. I'm curious too. Do you have any other means of contacting him?.

    Sandran712>>I do not know where this Cancer man lives.It is 100 mile distance from me.My intuition tells me he has received my emails .Not sure his reaction on anything.If I had talked to him conversing in an email or something I could feel his behavior.But, we did not get that far.Besides him and the Cappy boyfriend have both been married and Divorced.So I am not really making a big effort on contacting them.It is a sin to be with either one.But, I get a stronger vibration from the Cancer man.He may not be wanting to let go of the ex.Now..I don't know for sure...I just have a bad vibration with him.

  • Virgocookie>> Any thoughts?

    Sandran712>>With me.It hurts if I am interested in a guy.And the guy I like happenes to want to talk about another woman.I try holding my own.And I keep my cool.But, when it sounds like they are interested in them and not me I can get jealous/defensive.Like the married Sag I dated.He wanted me to hook him up with other girls.I tried to be his friend.But it hurt too much because I had feelings for him.This is when I was grieving over my Aries.They were friends.So I decided to end it.And that was the way I protected myself fom being hurt anymore.Men are a pain in the azz.I sense when a guy tries to make me jealous I move on.I don't want the drama.But, I spent a little time with the Cappy.,And it was cute he was jealous if I talked about another guy.But, guys are weird they show insecurites and then a split second afterwards they could care less about you.But, as I said he is off limits .He has been divorced for over 9 years.

  • My delimma right now with my cancer man/boy toy is that when I do text him, he always texts me right back. He has been the one to come back on to me after several times that I ended it with him. I got a little pissed off at him a couple of days, I text him and was kinda not coming right out and saying what I meant. It got him going, he texts me and text me and I just would say like "your so full of shit and I love that about you", then after he was wondering, we text for about two hours, he stopped about 7 in the morning, then I was asleep and I got a text saying he did not understand what I was talking about. I knew that to be funny that he would text me when he should have been sleeping too. I also knew that he was wanting to know what was making me mad at him. Then it was funny because I got into the bathtub a couple of hours before I had to go to work and I looked at my phone to see that he was about to get to work. I have said before that I can feel him sometimes, and low and behold, the very next minute, he text me!! still wanting to know what was up! Well, he was walking up with a female employee that I have not been happy with, and he saw me see them, he came right over to me about 15 mins later and was just looking at me several times. now, there has been a lot of times that when I am upset, it drives him crazy. why does it?

    we were texting some bullshit after work the next night, and he said that "there is nothing between us..." I was not trying to get feelings out of him, and I agreed with him totally because I have been mad at him lately, and I just get the feeling that he is wondering if something is there between us because the ... is showing some thought or hesitation. it was not a direct statement with an explanation point to leave out any questions!

    why is he so damn afraid to tell me! I know there is something there, I am not stupid, nor am I really relying on something to happen. I am also playing a game. I am also about to move out of the area at work to pursue my dream inspite of him.

  • wicked>>I am also playing a game. I am also about to move out of the area at work to pursue my dream inspite of him.

    Sandran712>>You sure this guy is not a player??He sure is manipulating this situation.Alot of body language.I agree it's a game.But, wouldn't you rather have someone more mature.This feels like high school behavior.Do you ever talk to this guy face to face?It seems you do alot of texting .A Cancer does not like to express feelings very well.We always hoped the other person would figure it out and feel the same way.Moving away might be more rational.I think if he knew you were moving out of the area.You might get your answer.

  • Yes, Sandran712, We talk face to face all the time. We text a lot too. He was meaning that there was nothing between him and I. But, the way this guy acts, I know that is him saving face.

    He knows that I am leaving, and I do not think he is very happy about it personally, but he knows that this is what I have to do in order to get where I want to be. Him or no man is worth me putting that off for! What do you mean by him manipulating the situation?

    The man hardly slept when he knew that I was upset with him, then was acting like that at work. But, I am still going with the flow, just stepping back some, because yes I am about tired of the games, but he has only been a boytoy to me anyways.

    I really think that it bothers him that I am not telling him that I am in love with him, and need him. I have a life, and that's the way it goes. I 'm not going to say something that is not true. But, the way he acts when we are intimate, the way he acts all the time with me as a priority, he is caught up with me.

    I know that I am everything he wants, he is just scared. possibly does not want to fully commit, and things like that. I am not pushing him...

  • I agree with Sandran. Sounds like it's a game. Wicked, it seems that you're both feeling excatly the same. I feel that you also act very similar to him. You take his bait but not fully expressing yourself. You guys are reflecting each others behavious. Until one of you stops and actually becomes honest then this will continue. At the end... it ain't go anywhere.

  • wicked>>What do you mean by him manipulating the situation?

    Sandran712>>welll..You look at him/he looks at you.He says that there is no feelings.It is clear that he shows some emotion for you.But he won't come out and tell you his true feelings.He probably is saddened that you are going to leave.But, it looks like neither one of you are willing to budge with your emotions.I don't understand why he can't understand that No means No.Cancer's can get clingy and needy.Maybe it will get better if you move away.But, you need to give up the boy toy if you are moving.Texting just adds to the emotional rollercoaster.

  • No, I can still see him at work l if I move, or after work if I want to. But, now I do not know if he is really worth my time in this anymore...

    This is been no less of tryin to not fall in love b/c of the games these cancers play. I am a Taurus, and if I fully gave him my everything, and loved him with all my heart, I would end up killing him if I found out that he was out looking for something better. That kind of behavior is so disgusting to me. To hurt people that truly care for you, and that you know do nothing wrong more times than not to ever deserve that. Everyone has emotions, everyone is disturbed by things that go on in the world, people do handle them differently and do not feel the need to abandon people and never explain or show back up and expect over and over to be forgiven for it. I may understand that is how they "deal" but, when the one time that happened to me, I put an end to it, and he got the point quite clear. I think he is very insecure with himself, I think he wants me for many reasons but can not come to terms with himself with it. I am not going to go fishing for something that he is not ready for to make myself happy to know that he feels something for me. I have watched this man for 9 months, and when he is ready, if I still have an interest in this with him, we will see where it goes.

    I feel that the game I am playing with him is nothing but the " Cancer " game.

  • Ok... WIcked, a cancer man wants to be loved, more than anything else. We all do. But he will often go about this in the most destructive way. He will shy away from real love even if it's staring at him in the face. You're right, because of their insecurities and low self esteem or worse their inability to love their selves. And here's a big clue to the cancer mans self development, because if he doesn't love himself or feel worthy, he will push love away. He needs to learn to love himself first in order to feel worthy to accept love from another. Hope this helps bring you some clarity...

  • Yes, I have figured that one out!

  • I think with his sexual behavior, that is what he is really looking for. He feels good during and probabaly for a short time after, then he starts going down hill again until the next time. It is short lived...

  • how come they play so many mind games, it's like he is trying to make me jealous. I do not get off on that! it's probably another test, he'll be back and I may not be there!

  • wickedmoon>>that is what he is really looking for. He feels good during and probabaly for a short time after, then he starts going down hill again until the next time. It is short lived...

    Sandran712>>It feels like mind games because you are using him.It always feels like this when you are being used.I say he is only a boy toy.And nothing else.Maybe if that would go away.The guilt feeling would too.but, is this really what you want?

  • We both agreed to just sex, even though it got stronger on his part for the most. But, he is resistant to letting me know he cares, I have told him that I care for him. But, he is not going to play with another in front of me and think that is cool with me. Especially when we had to keep things on the down low between us at work. I am not into him anymore because I do not respect him for acting like that. I thought he had more sense than that, and I see that as stupidity because sooner or later, and more likely sooner, his world is going to come crashing down and he will have noone to blame but himself. I do not feel the need to let him take me down with him. I had fun with him, would probably see him in a more discreet way, but if that's how he rolls, then he can keep rolling. I am not looking to fall in love with someone at this time, but I am perfectly aware that I could, and if those feelings are reciprocated, then so be. in my heart I have not fully trusted him because I did not want him to destroy my heart, and he hasn't.

    He is looking for the attention on him, how good it feels to him, he will think about me, and I no doubt that he will contact me again to see if he still can, but how immature and trying to have an adventure! There is just a way of having fun without being so reckless like he is being.

  • Dear Manifest..., thanks for your very insightful posting. You are right about Taureans, my Cancer bf points the blaming others & not being accountable to me.Your ex Taurean gf must be SOME woman-- unforgettable.

  • I think that this cancer is a player. Some stuff went on at work that I believe involved another girl. He and I are not really talking right now, which bothers me and then not bothers me, b/c I am disappointed in him. I went to breakfast with a couple of friends that ended up knowing him personally, and a girl that knows him, said he told her that the relationship was not existant, just trying to support her b/c she didn't want to move back home with her parents through this tumor ordeal. I jumped his ass about this drama at work, and expecting him to just go on and do what he wanted, he actually has done a 180 at work and doing what I told him to. that's weird to me. I have seen him look at me a couple of times, but he is trying to play it cool. I have not contacted him anymore. I have been told that he will probably come after me again, but idk. I feel it that he is not mad at me, that he is embarrassed, that he is not happy with me being upset with him, but what do I do? I am just leaving him alone. if I meant anything at all to him, he'll contact me again right? I went out with someone new last weekend, just trying to get used to the fact that somewhere out there, there is someone else. i fell into the trap that cancers do, and I care for him, and that has made it really hard. i reached for him at times and he reached for me.

Log in to reply