Help me with this Cancer man!!



  • Hi, I have a situation that is driving me insane,literally INSANE!!!! First I would like to say that I have been married to two Capricorns, and just recently in the last 7 months been dealing with a cancer man. I started a new job, and he is in an upper position than I am. From the first night, he was staring at me, over the next few months, he did anything to get my attention, made little jokes about me to get a reaction from me, smiled at me, appeared out of nowhere to walk by me, came by to talk for like 20 mins a night on most nights, was there on mondays to see if I had came to work, ect....There are so many other things he did as well!!

    In July, We were leaving work and he text me from when I had called him to ask him some questions about the job I do. He text me for about 30mins, and told me I could text him over the weekend if I wanted to. I knew that he had a girlfriend before, but he had made a comment that they were no longer together. He was doing things like this with me when I knew that they were together. Anyway, he did do the disappearing sct for 3 days the next week after we talked over the weekend. I didn't bother him, even though I was very confused!! We started talking again, and I expressed this to him. I told him not to run from me and that it made me mad, and he laughed, but has not done it since! We started to talk again, and it got very serious, very quick. We would text for hours, and the sex was just a couple of times but he was very passionate!!

    After a few weeks, though, he text me that he was very emotional, and couldn't see me. He has been very afraid of losing his job over our different positions, but then he told me some very personal things about himself. First I want to say that this was just a sex thing, it did not start off as a dating thing. I was ok about ending it, but very confused about him getting all emotional, and the way he acted, he was watching me at work, coming by every night and directly making eye-contact, just acting crazy!! I confronted him about things a while later because if things are over, stop acting like this!!! He flew on me, and was kissing me, and we did it again. He did tell me that his ex that he was with had a brain tumor and that they are not together, but he is being there for her, and she had brain surgery a couple weeks ago. He has been acting this way the whole time that this has been going on with her. He watches me when I talk to guys too. He has been protective of me at work, and just acts like he has fallen for me but is scared to let me know because I may not feel the same for him. What do you think he is wanting or thinking??

    I can elaborate on more if needed!! This is truely driving me crazy!!



  • I don't have good experience with water sign males but then again it's just me, doesn't mean it will happen to you. The way I see it I actually think he is being truthful, he does like you and it seems he likes you very much. From staring to kissing you plus protecting you. I think his actions said it all. He also explains his stuation with his ex plus you said he shares personal things too. So far this Cancer is the most outward I've ever heard, probably you shouldn't worry too much unless of course some things he did made you wonder. what's your sign?



  • I am a taurus. I also wondered why he got so emotional and told me things that he did. I also see many signs that he wanted a relationship but I didn't. He appears to be a little obsessed with me. I wonder if this is a trait of cancer men? I have been told that he probably was falling for me and is scared, has things going on, but doesn't want to lose me, so he keeps an eye on me.



  • He is watching you to make sure you dont go anywhere. Dealing wit a person you once loved that has a brain tumor is some painful stuff. Give the guy some time. i get the impression its not over for the 2 of you.



  • Hey Lovinmylife,

    How are you?

    I have to ask you, I've been wondering for a while. Your picture.....it's a little small to see clearly.....it looks like a peanut in grass but I am guessing it is a hamster/guinea pig????

    P.S. I agree with you, it's not over, he is keen but feels he should be there for his ex. BTW Taurus and Cancer are pretty good combo.



  • I am trying to be very understanding of what he is dealing with. I would not wish that on anyone and of course he is probably just being supportive of her. But, I just don't want to totally believe in case he just wants to keep me on the side. It's so confusing! He is not really texting me or trying to see me after work or anything, but he is not acting like he isn't interested. He stares at me, talks to me at certain times, when I act like it's ok that's it's over, he seems to act crazier! I have tried to end it about 4 times, and he won't.



  • My understanding of cancer men is that they are not players. If he was not keen, I don't think he would act it. You just need to hang in there, give him the time and space. He doesn't want it to end.



  • Hey Wenchie good to see you hon. i am hangin in there. trying to stay focused. How are you? ITs our dearly beloved hamster "Hammie" He died the day after I took that picture. We took him outside alot and he loved playing in the grass. He lived a long happy life. RIP Hammie we miss you!!!!



  • Same.......hanging in there! Can't wait to get past this feeling of being stuck in a rut, I want to get on with things!!!!

    I'm sorry to hear about Hammie, it's a good thing you have the photo to remember him by. I bet he was very happy with you all. Some pets really luck out with a great home and people who love them and others.....poor loves.....end up with some horror owners. To me people who hurt and abuse animals are in the same category of people who hurt and abuse children.



  • I have always loved animals, cats and hamsters. THey should be allowed to get outdoors. Who wants to spend their life inside? When we first got Hammie he would chew on the cage and it made me sad. I didnt trust him enough to let him outside at first so we let him roam around the living room with me and my kids sitting in a circle so that he couldnt escape. When he got used to the idea I would let him roam even more withour us hovering around him. Then we took him outside and he stayed close to us as if he knew we would keep him from danger. He was the most lovable hamster ever. He would sqeek at me when I was near his cage and I would talk to him and he would sqeek back. I miss him.



  • It's hard when you love them so much and then they're gone. But you gave each other joy.



  • I also wanted to say that he has said that he has been worried about his job. I went and confronted him about if it was over than lets be cool, if I was a mastake than ok. I also confronted him about his crazy actions. He flew over the desk and was kissing me before I even knew what was happening. He just said that he ended it because of his job and that he had nothing to fall back on if he lost it. But, then risked it again, and risked getting me pregnant!! He did not know that I am on birth control. These are huge risks for him to be taking, but he seems so scared to tell me why he is taking these risks, yet being so cold, but watching me from a distance...



  • Wickedmoon,

    I wish my guy was jumping over the desk to kiss me!!!!! Sigh

    Maybe just deep down I'm a hopeless romantic and wish more men would show how they really feel about their woman.........and in a way that makes sense to us!!!!



  • Just hang in there. He is NOT done yet!



  • Yeah I want someone to leap over a desk to kiss me too. I would be happy with just a leap or a kiss. Geez. Or eye contact, or a phone call that I didnt have to hear: Stop calling me or I am getting a restraining order, how many times do I have to tell you I DONT LOVE YOU. Okay that never really happened but thats how it feels. sigh too.



  • I am also wondering if they get possessive? When this started with us, we both agreed to just a sexual relation. Then he was back and forth. We agreed it was too crazy, especially after he got all emotional. But he continued to watch me, watch me talk to guys at my work about work stuff, do crazy things to get me to notice... I have confronted him about this, and he tries to deny. He has litterally about broke his neck to look at me a lot of times. We just go back and forth. I think he fronting with this being about his job. But, he is so cold somtimes to me. I have went on times of ignoring him, and he can't stand it. A few weeks ago, he came up to me and talked to me for a few minutes and just smiled, and I feel he was feeling me out. I don't know what to say to him to tell him that I care. There is so much to my story that tells me he wants more. But, why watch me and when I was talking to a guy at work, he literally stood 3 feet away and everytime that I looked at the guy, I could see my cancer looking at me!! We have not done anything in 2 months, what the hell is he thinking??



  • I think he is interested, feel he is like you, you know what, he was afraid?



  • wicked moon him acting cold at times is a common problem with cancer men. read some of the other posts about cancer men. That has nothing to do with how he feels about you. They can get in some pretty dark moods and snap at people they care about. Doesnt mean you have to let him do that though. My ex cancer boyfriend would get that way sometimes and I would say things like ARe you gonna be a crabby caner today. Then he would usually shake it off and smile and say no. ( : Unless it was a serious problem I would just leave him alone and give him a smile but keep my distance. Ever poke a crab when its hiding in its shell? THey come darting at you sideways snapping their claws, not good. Get to know some things about cancer men and you will understand better.



  • wicked~~ am also wondering if they get possessive

    Sandran~~Yes Cancer men can get possessive.I am a Cancer female.I have met Cancer males.I cannot handle their behavior.Taurus and Cancer are compatible.And Cancer men can too be a player.But, a mature one will not be a player.Just depends on their maturity.I hate being a Cancer.People hate us..LOL.WE are very emotional people.I have alot of water in my chart.So sometimes I think alot of these traits could go for other signs too.



  • @wickedmoon -- Do listen to what Sandran712 has shared on here...some really useful insight coming from a cancerian herself !!! Yes, Cancer Males are the most difficult of the lot...take it with a pinch of salt lady...LoL ! If your Cancer is a typical one, then I'm afraid you're in for some most bewildering experiences of all sorts. He'll keep you by his side until something better comes along... will get emotional when he's not supposed to... will get all touchy-feely as and when it suits HIM...will run hot this morning and will freeze on you by noon and most of all he'll get 'J' and possessive when you try showing him he doesn't mean the end of the world for you...Fairly complicated!! Thats Cancer for you...LoL.. I'd rather you don't fall for him and keep your options open at the same time.


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