Pisces in turmoil

  • I am 35 years old and in the middle of my 3rd divorce. the future ex wants to get back together but I have such huge trust issues it difficult for me to take that leaf of faith. He is an Aquarian. He seems to have seen the error of his ways with me but i am not sure if he is just giving me li service to draw me back in or if he is being real with me. i don't want to disappoint anyone and want to be in a relationship that is harmonious but how can i tell if he is the one?

    To put a spin on things I have reunited with an old friend from school recently as well. he is a ton of fun and seems to be trust worthy but again i am not sure about him either. he is a Sagittarius.

    Who am I more compatible with? I don't need a man in my life but I am the hopeless romantic that wants mr right and right now. Advise is welcome. Help me please! what should I do?

  • Have fun with the sag. You have been married 3 times now just go have some fun. Tell ur ex to take a hike, its ova!!ur aquarius is bringing you down. The sag is lifting your spirits. Both care about you but you have little feeling left for the aquarius, am I right? The sag is bringing feeling out of you that you havent felt in quite some time. Best of luck. ( :

  • you are so correct!! the aquarian is bringing me down and the sag is so much fun. i just am affraid that i will fall for the sag and he will move on to better water's one day and I will be left once again to swim in my pool of emotions alone. with the aquarian i know he isn't going anywhere even though i have lost that loving feeling he is safe. still in turmoil but your advise helps. thanks again.

  • fear brings to us that of which we dont want, let go of fear, and go and enjoy this, tell yourself that you are deserving of all the best in life

  • Hi there! Can I join this conversation? I felt urge to write here as I'm a Pisces and 35 years old too! 🙂 TwistedFish, your story seems quite 'pretty' in comparisson to mine - well you have guys interested in you!

    Meanwhile, I feel totally hopeless... been single for 2 years; before that divorce from a non-functioning marriage (lived like roommates almost for a year); fell in love with a guy who had a lived-in GF; I couldn't be a part of the affair for long, so I told him that he has to make a decision. He said to me a lot of things to me (incl. 'love you' then 'we are just friends' and so on and so on); whenever I told him 'good bye', he insisted on me keeping in touch and reconsidering things and then after a while he would tell me he can't be in relationship with me - he did this 3 or 4 times.... it was a nightmare....

    After the 4th good bye from me he accepted that. after a couple of months I got a very nice birthday email/card - saying things and that he's been thinking of me all this day... I contacted him after a week and later I found out that he's selling their appartment with his GF, plans to buy a house, marry, have kids... Again I was devastated.

    I think I'm still devastated.... can't forget him. I did a lot of things to forget him - therapy, rituals, travel, etc. Nothing works. When I broke off the communication with him, I used to tell myself 'I'll meet someone else' - but nothing here. I feel like being cursed. All this time I went to one lousy date (I didn't like the guy, he didn't ask me out again); well there was one guy who liked me, but I don't like him, I even find him repulsive .

    I feel hopeless, lonely, depressed, I feel like a total failure as a woman. I don't know what to do. I don't meet any new guys, everyone's around me married/involved. I really don't know what to do.... I don't have any wish to live, because now it's just a misery... These 2 years - like nightmare, like I haven't been living at all...

    Can anybody help me?

    Thank you for reading my post - sorry it's very long ...

  • HappyPeaceful,

    maybe you should take a different approach on this thing we call life? when i left my husband i said to myself NO MEN and now i can't seem to fight them off. i am not all that but what i think is that when i say no to people and situations it entices them/it even more. don't give up on life or men or any of it. i totally hear you and feel like thowing my hands in the air many times but the one thing i have noticed in me (the pisces) is that i have the ability to roll with the pumch's even when they hurt deeply. Girl roll with the punch's and you will see it doesn't stay horrible forever.

    i truly enjoy being a fish and wouldn't change it for the world. embrace your emotions and flow with it girl. hang in there.

    btw, don't chase a guy who isn't available!

  • dotthory,

    thank you for your advise. i agree that we get what we project. i do want to have fun. that is exactly what i am having with the sag. maybe i shouldn't read into the future with him too much but it is hard. i am a fish and daydream all the time. that is what keeps me going at times. lol

  • Thank you, TwistedFish, for your kind words and support! You sound like a fighter, I guess I sound like I'm crushed... I tried to convince myself 'I don't need men/BF", but this is not what I really want. Feels like men gave up on me :))) I wish I could be like you!

    as for chasing unavailable guy - he was the first to say 'love you' (which left me unguarded) and a bit later told he's in relationship. I should have stopped communicating with him at that moment. But I believed his feelings - he seemed like a very honest guy (my mistake!). I blame myself - for trusting him so much and for not cutting the communication at once when I found out about his GF. I'm glad that it was my only case. This is a very good lesson for me - stay away from involved guys no matter what they tell you! Married guys have always been a veto for me (I guess I'm trying to say that I'm not a man stealer by nature, this is the last thing in the world I'd want to be). But enough about that - it was horrible experience (I wish I could delete it like in 'The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' :))

    People keep saying 'it'll get better' - seems like it's getting worse. The longer I'm single and without even dates, the more my self- esteem as a woman diminishes. By now I think it's non-existant.... 🙂

  • The best advise I can give you is love yourself. A confident woman is the most attractive woman in the room. It took me a long time and a lot of heartache to relize that I have to live in my own skin for the rest of my life. All I have to do is please myself and love myself. Everything else will happen as it is supposed to. Start with you first!! the cosmo's might be telling you this by not bringing a good man or any man into your life right now. If you aren't happy with you then there will be no way you will make a partner happy.

    use your emotions (good and bad) to better understand you. take up a hobby, hang out with friends, join a group of some kind. Remember no one can love you if you don't love yourself. Once you love your self you WILL have to fight the men off with a stick. I promise you that. You have to honestly love yourself though before it will happen. Tell yourself every day that the earth is luck to have you on it and smile at yourself in the mirrow. I had to do it and it helped me. I was close to ending my life a few years back and I realized I am worth life and life is worth me.

    You can do it!!! We fish are strong people!!

  • OK so I am always gled to help a fellow Pisces but I really need some advise. Can someone help me with my issue? Am i compatiable with the Sag? Am I more compatible with the Aquarian? Help!!!

  • From your signs. Aquarius and Pisces are rare and awkward i guess lovers. You dwell on romantic fantasy and they think a lot more practical than they let you see. They're the chess player and your the artist (in lamest terms). I dont think that your aquarian is sincere enough for you and what you apparently expect in someone.

    But..this new sag seems great for you. They are tons of fun and are said to have better potential than an aquarian for you. My neighbor is an aquarius, married to a sag and celebrating their 31st anniversary ! From having constant barbecues and visiting them, i can only say : go through with the divorce and meet up with your sag

  • Cancerleo,

    Thanks for the advise. I am the artist and my ex is such a chess player. Salesman he is. I do have a hard time believing him when he is trying to be sincere.

    the sag is a lot of fun but my concern is that the fun will wear off and we will be left with no more spark and no more communication. I totaly trust my sag which is out of my realm. Never did trust my aquarian or any other man for that matter.

  • Thank you, TwistedFish, for your words of support and encouragement!

    As for your question, the fun and spark wearing off is a concern with any man, I guess... I think you already feel your answer (gut feeling, heart) and even know your answer.

    You know, I don't feel it's my place to advise because obviously I'm not good with men! LOL

    But I believe that you know your answers already. Your heart starts talking when your mind 'shuts up' - my advice would be to try and meditate, when your mind is not crowded with rushing thoughts, things just fall into place and into peace, then you will know your answer.

    I wish you all the best luck everywhere,

    Sending hugs, love and the beauty of the first snow!

  • I still think you should have fun with the sag even if it doesnt last whcih is why its called dating, no real committment just some fun. I dont see men dropping off the face of the earth any time soon so if he doesnt work out there will be another waiting around the corner. Ever hear the saying men are like busses is you miss one you can always catch another. ( :

  • Hi TwistedFish,

    Well you asked for advice so here is goes....I read your posts about working on your self esteem and I think thats great but ...35 and going through your 3rd divorce?...There are obviously other issues. You mentioned in a couple posts that you have a hard time trusting men. I think you should get to the bottom of your own issues before moving on to someone new, or you're bound to keep repeating your pattern. Examine where this trust issue is comming from. Good luck to you.

  • Manifestdreams,

    you are correct that I have issues of my own. My trust issues stem from every one of my marriages ending due to substance abuse. the first was a closet druggy (plus I was 17 and way too young to have been married). The second became an alcoholic (a gallon of rum a day) and the third, well he left me sitting on the patio of a nice hotel down town one night to score drugs from a prostitute. My biggest issue is that I tend to find the men that need my help and then they take advantage of me. I put myself out there and I get stomped on. I am not an alcoholic and don't use drugs. Can't seem to figure out why I am attracting these types of men into my life.

    on another note. the sag that i am dating is not an alcoholic (yet lol) and does not do drugs (again yet lol). he is furthering his education and has a child of his own that he is taking care of. he doesn't need my help (yet) and he seems to want to be here for me. that in itself is outside of my pattern. But again it is difficult for me to trust based on my past experiences.

    thanks for your input and i certainly will think long and hard about why i am keep attracting the wrong men.

  • Yes, there definitely seems to be a pattern. Think back to your childhood...who was it that you couldn't help? Yourself? a family member? Who couldn't you trust? These are some questions, to ask yourself, to get you going. The question isn't which man is more compatible, it's how do I change my magnet to only attract healthy, well adjusted men, and to recognize the unhealthy ones before I get involved. Try some positive affirmations. Wishing you all the best.

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