Old Friend - New Distraction Help

  • Hi All,

    I did something today that I try not to do. I googled someone who used to be a good friend of mine. He and I were good friends and sometimes I think he felt more but never said. We spent a decade of our lives sharing our life experiences with each othr and he'd come to mean a lot to me. He even promised me if I wasn't married by the time I was 30 he'd marry me. Lol.

    Anyway he found someone years ago and they got engaged. I knew that was the beginning of the end of our relationship but I respected that. The day he moved in with his new family he called me and left me a message on my voicemail and I deleted it. I really didn't want to know at the time what he had to say. And I've always regretted it not listening to his last words so to speak.

    I found a picture of him at a festival and one look at him and I felt...serene. I miss him but I know I would be contacting him for selfish reasons that really served no purpose. And I also wonder why I am doing this. The person in my life now, sometimes I want to be closer to him, sometimes I was to run. We have so many things in common, etc. that it's scary sometimes. There is a certain city I'd like to visit. I've always been drawn to it. I've said for years that I am supposed to go there and fulfill some unknown destiny. When I met the current person in my life, found out he was from that city. And there are too many other eery things to mention that almost make me want to cry.

    I guess I want insight as to why this old friend of mine popped into my head. I wonder if he did feel real love for me. And why think of him now?

    Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

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