The next two months will unfold for you, that you are blocking yourself.
The more you think, the more you are creating waves and ripples in the mind. The real thing for the blind man to do is not to think about light but to heal his eyes, for the deaf man, not to reflect on music but to go through some alchemical processes which can make him hear.
Meditate on this:
The wife of Mulla Nasrudin had received a beautiful skunk coat for her birthday a gift from her husband.
"Why", she said with excitement, "I just can´t understand how a beautiful coat like that could possibly come from such a miserable evil-smelling little beast."
"Well", said Nasrudin, "I did not exactly expect any gratitude from you, but I do think I deserve a little bit more respect."