Give me a reading?
Birthdate: September 15, 1990 at 1:44 am in Lawrence, Kansas
If you know anything about Virgos, our life has been a living hell for the last 2 years. Since then, I've been through a divorce with my parents, graduated highschool, and gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I feel life is starting to let up a bit, but I'm afraid to take this breather in case everything comes crumbling down again. The father of my baby has put me through a lot. I want to trust he is changing for the better, but I don't want to be as naive as I was in the past.
Theres just a lot of fear and confusion in my life right now. I don't know where I'll even be living in the next couple months. I'm very afraid about my future and a little enlightenment would be fantastic.
I understand my request seems a bit amateur. To give anyone a better outlook, I'm staying at a domestic violence shelter with my 3 month old daughter. Her father has a serious alcohol problem and it taking major steps to overcome it, but the damage is still fresh. I no longer have a vehicle. I had to quit my job. And I'm trying to enroll into school, but with no luck. I'm living off food stamps and TANF. I'm scared. And all my plans keep falling through... I don't have a future without the father of this baby, but I want to give him time to make his own mistakes as is necessary for an addict.
Dafphodil, I honestly can't see a future for you with the father of your daughter. I feel that what is holding you back - or in your words, why your plans are falling through - is your belief that you "don't have a future without the father of this baby". YOU DO. While you wait for him to fix his problem, cure his addiction, etc, you will simply stay in limbo as you've been doing for a while.
I'm sorry if this seems a bit harsh, but the first thing I see for you in fixing your own situation is a job. Study won't help you at the moment, but it will be something you will pick up again in about 12 months. Cast around for a paid job and I bet something lands in your lap quicker than you think. By December, I see you out of the shelter and living with your daughter in a small-ish apartment sort of set up. It will be a ground floor place with a compact, but pretty, garden off it. I also see that you will still stay around the shelter helping out here and there as they have been very supportive to you and being there is showing you what your calling may be in life: social work, counsellor, or similar. You will manage quite well on your own, believe it or not. In time your daughter's father will kick his habit, but by then you will have gone off in a whole new direction. He will have quite a hand in her future though, once he sorts himself out, and in time he will share in her upbringing. He is a good man deep down, but not someone you can rely on now or in the very near future.
So I guess what I'm saying here is: please don't believe you have no future without this man, because it's that belief which is stopping you from succeeding with your plans. You can and will survive without him, and in the long run, it will be very well worth it for all concerned.
Again I hope I haven't been too harsh here, but I just hate seeing someone preventing themselves from succeeding because of a limiting belief.
All the best of luck to you, your daughter and her father. As said, he is a good fellow, but not good for you at the moment. Don't wait for him; that's my parting message. That said though, it all comes down to what you choose to do xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo
I'm hoping to stay here for a few more months while I'm on the waiting list for an apartment in the Spring. I'm afraid of moving out anywhere before then because my options are limited and most aren't in safe neighborhoods. Could you possibly still be seeing the place I'm in now? It's an old hotel room with a bathroom and closet... Its actually quite nice and quaint, and you're right.. I'm getting a LOT of support here. Actually, I'm very afraid to leave... because I am afraid of being on my own. And the only other options I have are in the inner city or into another shelter...
I'm working on a job... its just hard to breast-feed a newborn child and go to work...A lot harder than I expected.. especially without any of my own transportation... I am having a really hard time figuring it out..
I guess I just don't see how to materialize the picture you just painted up for me...