Unique situation need real advise !!



  • i moved to the sahara desert of morocco from los angeles ca .almost 3 yrs ago with my berber nomad boyfriend . we have lived together as a loving couple within his berber culture . it has been a very difficult road for me here . i always believed this was real true love . we have had out moments of difficulities with our cultural differances .

    5 days ago after i went to portuagal (i must leave morocco every 3 months) to visit friends . i returned to morocco and he he told me were are finished !! that he had enough . before i left for portugal everyhting was fine . he seemed happy to me we had no probelms .

    why the sudden change ? in his culture it is very difficult for them to express their feelings .so i have zero information other then we are finished !! i am devastated as i changed my life for him . now im alone in the sahara with no idea of what happened !! any insight on this situation ?? can anyone get a reading on him ?? his name is ahmad . please help !! thank you .



  • I don't know anything about his culture or desert life, but I think you've given up enough to live with him. you said it yourself, different culture, desert life , that must be a big change. it's difficult to express feelings? well he owes you an explanation, the way I see it. explanation can be just logic, not necessarily emotional. sorry I have to say that you should find your way back to the life you used to know. I can't imagine living in the desert and all confused like that. you changed your life before, you can change it back. was this just a friend you visited? or was it more, maybe an ex? just wondering. but regardless, the least he can do is tell you why, not just turning off communication like that.



  • we had met when i was a tourist here on a camel trek . we fell madly in love and have been together for 3 years . this has been quite a shock to end like this with no explanation . i asked and he says to me im finished thats it . so strange . i say there has to be a reason . but he says there is no reason just finished .



  • so I guess take it as it is. it ended. you must still have families somewhere you can live with until you sort out things. try go back to them, it will help to be around your loved ones when trying to get back to the life you used to know before you met him



  • yes i feel that is the easy thing to do . but i did make a life here . i feel ive failed if i go .yes its over .but does my life here also have to be over ?

    yes perhaps being with familar people or family can help ..

    it feels like im running away and giving up.but also not to have real closure on why it has ended . this is even more difficult .



  • well you did ask and he didn't say anything

    what kind of closure do you still need?

    I'm suggesting that not because it is easy but because I think it's the best thing to do

    unless you feel that you can live there without him

    then go ahead



  • yes of course ive asked . i think he dosnt know why and now he is regretting what he said to me .

    like i said im not sure of the motives of his wanting to end our relationship .

    yes i can live here on my own . it will be challange .

    ok he wants to end but why does he not really go . ive asked him to take his things and leave the house .but he does not do that .

    all his friends say he will be back he is just talking . this is where my state of confusion sets in .

    do i let this one ride out to see what this is or do i really move on to my own life and pathway and just forget this realtionship . what a confusion !! a berber nomad is not an easy relationship that is for sure . i do like challanges but this one is really starting to hurt .



  • Ok I would have to leave it to you to decide which one is best

    maybe someone else can give you an insight with cards or psychic ability



  • I'm not sure I would want to be with someone who can just walk away and drop me so easily. I know it's very difficult to let go but this man sounds awfully cold hearted to encourage you to leave everything you know to move and be with him and then drop you without any real explanation. If you like it there and want to stay and continue without him then that is up to you of course but i don't think I would encourage anyone in your situation to hold out for this guy. Even if he does come back to you, I'd be very wary of him as he it sounds like he switches hot and cold without any warning. You'd alway be on guard and wondering if it will happen again. I really feel for you and hope it all works out for the best. x



  • I think he got scared for some reason. Give it just a little time. When did this happen? I get teh feeling he really does feel bad. Maybe he thought this would be in your best intrest as he doesnt want you to sacrifice anymore of your life to be with him. If he tries to explain this to ou you wont move on as you will think you still have a chance. He sounds stubborn in his decision. Just go with what ever he says at the moment I thik you will get a clearer understanding down the road. In the meantime spend some time with people who care about you and work through your pain so that you can become stronger. I think he will be explaingin himself in a few months.



  • Yes I feel very strongly that you both truly love each other. I know its hard but I think he will be with you again very soon. Again, try to be around people that care about you and stay focused on your daily life. I would keep my emotions hidden from him for the time being as I think this will work in your favor. Be diplomatic and dont let him see your sadness or anger if you can help it.



  • Hi, When I married at 22 I moved about 1200 miles from home. I don't think I'll ever take another chance like that on an individual. I liked the place we lived and had friends. I ended up going to school there also. I decided to move back closer to family. It doesn't matter if you stay there or leave. You have to make a choice what is best for you in the long run. Culture may play a part but he has shown you a totally different side that you need to pay attention to. Think about where you want to be and where your going now. I just would not spend time in a flip-flop relationship.



  • ps If a relationship suddenly ends, that's a big blow. Your dealing with the emotions. I'm thinking about the causes. What I see here is someone who is contemplating someone else or wants to do a 360. Whatever, I don't think you can lose by sprouting wings escaping this.



  • I have dealt with someone telling me it is over and his explanation was that he woke up one day and realized that it wouldnt work. However, he had just the previous night told me he loved me.

    It was so very hard for me and I went into a deep depression. I am just coming out of it.

    I do not have any insight on anything for you, only this:

    It does not matter that he may regret what he has said, it does not matter that friends think he will be back, what does matter is how he has treated you.

    I do not care what his culture says, a human being is a human being with feelings. He has treated you like a camel. He had you there for 3 years and now HE is finished. HE is, not you. He did not think about how hurt you would be, he did not think about how much you gave up to be with him, he did not think that you deserved an explanation. I do not know about his culture but I am under the impression that they do treat women as chattel. Women are nothing. Therefor you do not require any knowledge and you are to be dismissed when finished with.

    Here is what I SUSPECT happened: someone important to him, or that influences him, pushed this decision. THis is why he has said it is over but yet refuses to take steps to end it by removing his items and leaving.

    Now, if this is the case... do you really want your life to hang in the balance on the whim of a third person?

    Did you ever find out if this man is already betrothed to someone? This happens almost at birth at times and is the parents decision not his.

    As much as it hurts... you need to find someone that values YOU. He does not, even if pressured because someone else's word is more important.

    Good luck.



  • Sable, it's very bad what happened to you

    but you said the words I should've said

    you nailed it.


Log in to reply