Sensitive to Touch
For the longest time I have always been sensitive to touch. Even a casual brush up against me by a family member annoys me. But oddly enough animals are usually drawn to me and babies usually reach for me. I was sitting next to a woman on a bus one day and her baby was in her arms. The baby reached over and put his hand on my arm and stared at me.
I wanted to know if anyone else felt that kind of sensitivity. Still feel it now with the exception of a few people. I find it awkward to give someone a casual kiss. I can't remember the last time I hugged or kissed anyone in my family. But I do have a cousin who I love to hug. She is a sweet girl and I suspect she is maybe an Empath or something. She had such a positive light around her. She makes me feel calm and I am usually the one who has a calming affect on everyone else.
Any insight or stories is much appreciated.
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WOW lol thats just weird haha well for me im pretty picky when it comes to my "friends" that i will hang out with, i have more people that i "just know" than actual friends, so for me growing up i had only like 2 friends id hang out with outside of school, as for an animal i have thats close to me is my cat, weve had her for a few years now, and we found her as a stray at my moms work in parking lot, she has these beautiful green eyes that makes you melt LOL like the puss an boots face from shrek haha, but she throws up maybe about once every two weeks, and our other cats dont, my parents wanted to put her down, but i couldnt do it, everytime im gone for 24 hours or so, everyone says she meows at everyone, and when they follow her she runs into my room, and looks up like "where is he?" they said, and being a sag i love animals in general but shes special to me. lol and yes everytime im upset or something she always is there to make me feel better lol
i dunno about you but me...... i tend to care too much about what others think, maybe that why i always feel on guard? or maybe since i tend to be so caring and sensitive and wear my heart on my sleeve that i get hurt easily so now i always have a guard up?
Hey Coffeegem and chevelleman71. I think you have both made some valid points on your situation. When you grow up without a lot of physical affection I think it does tend to make you less comfortable with it. I have a fairly affectionate family but I have had pretty affectionate friends, many who give hugs and kisses as greetings and goodbyes. When it comes to personal relationships, it is harder for me to kiss others unless I am very close. Or drunk haha :). With my relationship now I am very touchy feely, more so than he is. I lost my father at a young age and he was always very affectionate, always gave me big hugs and when I was scared I used to sleep on his side of the bed with my parents. So, with my boyfriend I see many of my fathers aspects and I just love him to death anyways, so I always want to be close. But, I do admit, I have to be close. That connection really has to be formed. And I have not been that way with all relationships and friends. So I think you are both seeing that much of your comfort zone has to do with it. Sometimes our bodies are only compatible or comfortable with certain other people and when you have that connection, you feel it. All you can do is work on your relationships with others you don't feel as close with, but they are not willing to do the same thing, the effort is kind of futile. Being sensitive to touch is okay. I know we have talked about being empaths and as empaths, it is all about feeling. Mostly on an emotional level, but people's emotions can transfer from their bodies. Even a hug can feel loving, stiff, unsure, comfortable, safe, scared. You can tell by actually touching a person, so I can understand that if that same warm embrace feeling is not within the both of you, you will not feel it, therefore it feels awkward.
I can completely relate to the experience with babies and animals. Babies more than animals lol because for some reason, so many places I go, babies interact with me. They stare or they smile and wave and talk. Or just walk up to me. Which can be different. I love children and I think perhaps that they can see our auras. I think they know who they can be safe with. If you looked at the opposite effect, if somebody said they walk around and babies always cried and started to react weirdly, wouldn't that make you wonder what is going on in that person's life. What have they done? What are they going through? What are their motives? Babies are especially sensitive to that, more so than young children, so I think that has something to do with it. My friends daughter Mia has just started seeing me again after two years. She is 4. I have only seen and spent time with her about eight times, maybe not even, and she always asks her mother about me. She tells me she loves me and she always wants to play and hang out. Her mother has even admitted she gets a bit jealous. On Mia's part, it is nothing personal, I think she really knows and can feel others good intentions and love for her. She is not the same in any way with other people, especially women because she was raised by an abusive grandmother. The abuse was more mental but sometimes, I don't know. But she definitely knows when people mean to do her harm and hurt. Animals probably have similar sense as well. Cats have been a large part of my life for the past 11 years. I currently have 5. All are strays. 4 are kittens that were found in my backyard. If my landlord hadn't found them and gave them to my boyfriend, they would be dead. We nursed them bac to health and they are very happy and playful. One kitten, Pinky, follows me around everywhere, when I leave the room she follows, when I return, she follows lol. Chevelleman71, your story about your cat reminded me of her. That cat really loved you
But even before that, animals have always seemed close by. I have always been slightly intimidated by a lot of dogs and I think they sense that as well. Babies and animals are probably some of the most receptive people and some of the most pure. I love your story about your dog Coffeegem. That was so sweet and caring of you. It reminds me of a story of my first cat Johnny. My mother and brother were fighting in the house. My brother was sitting on the steps and my mother was at the foot of the steps. They were yelling and my brother yelled some swear words and something not very nice, I can't even remember exactly what it was so long ago. But our cat Johnny, who was only ever realllly close with my mother, ran up the steps, and SLAPPED my brother across the face. Imagine that?? He knew what my brother said was wrong and also very hurtful to my mother. Lol, I still laugh thinking about it because my brother got what he deserved at the time. Alright, I am done for now deep breath lol, but that's my two cents
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i completely understand where you (the op) are coming from - in fact - my husband and i were just speaking about this a moment ago.
i don't like just random people grabbing, hugging me. i think it has to do with the unknown. once i know you and am "comfortable" with you, i am fine with hugs, etc. but - because i "feel" things as an empath (i guess anyway) and can feel those things through touch, it's a bit of the unknown and i may be apprehensive as to what i may perceive from the other person through their initial touch. does that make sense?
so i have a very strict physical boundaries for people. i also am very guarded with my emotions. probably because i can read others so well that i assume others can read mine as well (which is probably not true)
i have one friend who i trust completely but i cannot touch (hug, etc) because even at close "range" (standing close), the "electricity" is really really scary to me. i hugged him once and it was too intense.
lol well the cat i told you guys about is still alive, she was under a year old when we found her, and maybe 3 or 4 now i think, shes does still throw up sometimes, BUT she does go outside and eats grass then throws up lol(stupid cat) and sometimes i think my dad rough housing her isnt good either and ive told him that, but doesnt listen. my sister has a cat that she is very connected to, he's a BIG male cat, that is unlike any other cat ive seen, i mean you can do anything to this cat and he doesnt make a sound!!! or doesnt even get mad!!!, seems like he has no emotions ! LOL which makes him perfect around kids cause you know how rough they can be with animals haha,
but yea my cat still here and dont plan on going anywhere, mom doesnt like her cause of throwing up thing, but i can tell she doesnt and has grown on her, this cat is ALWAYS begging for food!! 24/7 she is like a bottomless pit! and is so hard to not give in, cause those damn big green eyes. AHA! there she is now lol always gotta be in the same room as me it seems.
about the sensitive touch, geez i think ive ran out of things to say, (5 mins later) WELL i do realize when im around friends when hugs are going around to everyone, i tend to move far enough away to avoid getting hugged, unless they come seek me out for a hug then ill give one, everyone i hang out with knows i keep to myself,(scary to alot people cause im big guy at 6'5) which i think once i get comfortable in my own skin that will change,(insecurites, about weight, and what people think too much) cause i know theres this very energetic, loud person inside me just waiting to come out 24/7, that only comes out when drunk right now (which people try to get me to drink all the time cause of that lol) ive always been very funny and able to do many many different faces and voices, and that tends to come out when im drunk which makes everyone have a good time.
Thank you. I grew up with an iron fist and little to no affection and I love being touched.... (now) I got over my issue early in life because I realized at 17 years old that I liked who I was and without "all of that", I wouldn't be that person.
It sounds more like there is anger lingering that you haven't let go of. Forgive yourself, them or whomever, then love yourself. When you love yourself, you can love back the right way.
Now... don't take me to any China Town and hold me to this! LOL