My last Relation has turned For the worst, help!

  • I was dating a man and for 7 mos all was good. Then one day he comes home and is higher than a kite. Then I find out he's been stealing my medication, he broke into my roomates room , cheated on me and gave me herpes. Then he starts bringing his friends over in & out of my home selling pot. The man started mentally and verbally abusing me and my children, I had to kick him out, and then he threated to kill me and my family. I filed a restraining order, he skipped town. His remaining family lives here, his older brother threatened to kill one of my dear friends, his mother and father constantly drive up and down my street flipping me and my family off. The continue to harass me and my family on a daily basis. While we were together I met his neice. We clicked right away. After he was gone, his neice called me and told me she needed help her family had turned their backs on her. She's only 24, but her mother gave her up to her grandmother when she was 11, her mother was on drugs and could not handle her at the time, so she signed her over. Her mother has made 2 attempts to contact her , only asking for money. she refused and the conversation turned for the worse, she threatened to kill her own daughter. While living w/her Grandparents was apparently the best either. This girl went through therapy for years, from 11 yrs old to 17 yrs old, she had been molested by her mother's husband at 10 and has been abused at the hands of her Grandparents also, the hitting, the verbal abuse, the lies in the family and abandoned by them. I have known her for over a year ans I witnessed the torment she went through and is still going through today. The one thing she learned was to lie to get attention, her grandparents after all these years do not even know her favorite color. She is a very good person, she has been abused by her own family all these years, untill she came to live w/me. Now my ex's whole family is harrassing me and my children. She has never had a mother or father, and she lived what she learned from her grandparents, however there is one thing different about her. She herself is not abusive at all. She has made mistakes and lied, but confessed. She is experiencing a whole new life living free from abuse from her ex family. I have shown her what is true and how to stand up for herself, however, her ex family continues to slander me, harass me, tell lies, and are violent. towards me , my friends, and family. what to do?

  • Sweetsaq69; Isn't life odd at times? There we are - traveling through our lives, all happy... when we turn a corner and step right into a big mess. You do not mention if you live in a small town or a large one, nor how entrenched in the community you are. If these folks are as violent and abusive as you say they are (some folks talk a lot of abuse but it is all noise and others are truly violent people) it might be time to begin thinking about "getting out of Dodge". If you in your heart after some meditative reflection you feel that this young woman is salvageable then by all means help her to escape too and take her with you. But if leaving is not an option then you must protect yourself and your family. I would start by visualizing white defensive light surrounding your home and love ones for about ten minutes three or more times daily. Then I would augment this with additional orders of protection from the courts against those members of his family with the most violent histories. You might also try going to the police station and just having a conversation with the police about this family without filing charges. This will alert the authorities to the fact that a potential problem exists and they might have prior knowledge of this family and be able to give you better guidance. You have to know that most people just make verbal threats and do not carry through with them, but some do and it is better to be safe than sorry . If you would like to, let me know through the forum how things go for you...till then - take care of you and yours. Love and Blessings

  • what to do? pack up your stuff and her (and her stuff) and move. far, far away.

  • what to do? I would most definitely involve the police. I'm not one to push for frivolous litigation in our courts. This certainly is not frivolous. Perhaps the court system could help. I would think you have a great case for harassment and slander as well as a few others. No one should have to go through this bs! Once the arm of the law is involved these insane people will take a much different approach. Good Luck.

  • I just wanted all of you to know I thank you imput! First only the cowards flee ,like the man whom did this. I am a stander and will not allow these people to trash my loving family. I have decided to file a civil harassment suit against my-ex's family members. It's okay for me to take the heat I am strong enough, but now their slandering my innocent children, saying there abusive and intimidating. That was the last straw, I have alot of friends, whom I call my Angels protecting me and my family. I was focusing on all the bad that was happening and one day last week, it was like God smacked me upside the head. I cried and broke down and realized I have so many people on my side, they have nothing but anger in their hearts, weather it be towards me or anyone else. I feel not only for my sake but others that cross their path, it's time to put these people in their place. I have decided i will not let them control me with their abuse, and neither will God let them hurt us anymore. I am a warrior bride I will take up my sword and fight, not flee. Only Evil flees! I do live in a small town, but I have friends in very high places that i did not realize were protecting us.

    A court investigator interviewed my ex's Mother and she made allegations against me and my children. I took all the criminal records showing there family history and had her run a nationwide check on me. They have records from sexual abuse, willful harm to a child and a long history of abuse towards children. I feel God is calling me to help those and others that have been a victim of this to put a stop to it. Through me I can get justice for those they have hurt. I have a daughter 24, a son 20, a son 13 and a daughter 6 years old. I have to be an example to them and teach them how to defend against these kinds of situations. It is my duty as a protector of children. Now as for me I could care what they say, I can hack it, but then they brought my innocent children into the picture. I have no choice but to fight for their sake.

    Running is only going to make them think they won, if I stand and remain steadfast in my beliefs and fight back maybe they will move because they have made their own reputation known now. Thank you everyone for you imput, but my higher power is with me and will help me through this.


    Sweet Sag-

  • I have thought this over and over, and will stand firm with what I know about this individual. I shouldn't have to get out of dodge, actually I didn't have to. The man I spoke of above ran and skipped town, now why would a person like this do this, because he is guilty of his actions. He didn't even go to the restraining order hearing to fight for himself, because I have witnessess to his abusiveness towards me and my family. It is apparent David & his Family prey on the lowly and think it's okay intimidate, harass, abuse physically and mentally and think no one is going to fight back. I know for a fact they never thought I would fight back and stand up for myself. Today David's Family continues to harass me on a regular basis through indirect contact. I have spoken w/our Court Facilitators Office here in Yreka and they say I have a solid case and to follow through w/filing a Civil Harassment Suit against the entire family for continuing to harass me and my family. My goal in this is to let these type of people know it is not okay to hurt or bully people, innocent people. My intentions are to show these individuals breaking the law and abuse is not okay. Well I hope all of you understand my position, abuse is not tolerate any longer.

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