I didn't know where else to post this, so I decided to post it here since this a friendship is technically a sort of "relationship."
I am at my wits end. I tried to build a friendship with my future sister-in-law. My fiance and I have been together for four years now, and this woman (married to his brother) has never seemed to like me at all. We began to break into the ranks of an actual friendship about two years ago. I won't lie; being a friend to her has been quite the task. I am sure that I haven't been easy to deal with, either. I reached my breaking point several months ago when she chose treat my child badly. I will not go into detail, but she basically took her frustration out on my child in order to "spite" me. Recently she has begun doing things to get under my skin.
I have done a celtic cross spread in the tarot and my reading could not have been more accurate. I am finally reaching a peace within myself over this situation, but she keeps making it harder for me to maintain this peace. I am a compassionate person and I empathize with everyone. Despite all the things she has done, I still feel so sorry for her because of the situation she is in... and I am wondering if that is why she has chosen to treat me so badly.
Could someone please give me some insight?!
If you are capable of doing it, this is one way to approach the situation: Non-action.
It is good that you see that this probably is something about her. This means that you are ready to not defend yourself like a cat coming out with the claws ready to fight. Dont do that. She is doing this because of herself. Because of something in herself. So the right aproach would be to not approach her at all. Remain calm when she looks at you, even if it is an aproach she is doing to you that would make you want to do something to make her stop. I understand that this is a challenge. It is a challenge given to you. Not a challenge that you have wanted, but a challenge nevertheless. Your challenge is to stay calm when under attack. Calm but that does not mean weak. Your husband and his brother will respect you for taking that approach.
Also ask your husband for advice on this. Say you do not want to have any conflict with his brothers wife. This is affecting the whole family. The womans husband, your husbands brother, is affected by this too. Probably he is trying to make her stop doing this, with little success.
Also, this is not a fight about who is right. It is a fight against bad energies, bad feelings. A fight against attacks that challenge you to stay close to your center and stay calm. Trust that center that you feel close to when you feel calm.
Also, if possible, it could be effective to send positive energy towards her when alone contemplating about this situation. If you know how to do that. To say something like: She is good, she treats me well, she respects me, she understands me...Things like that. That might help your attitude towards her and turn the process in the positive direction so that she at least will leave the situation and move on from that energy. Invisible changes inside of you, in your attitude towards her, will change her attitude towards you and this energy conversation. She at least then might become harmless and stop doing this.
Again: Your husband and his brother will then respect you for taking this approach. Since this is affecting their family environment.
yes this sounds like a very bad energy situation, someone once told me to think pink around a person when they are being unkind and nasty to you, do this if you can alone and visulize the lady in pink, but also visulize yourself first, ask your guides, or god for protection when around her and stay centerd within yourself, another good visulization to do is to visulize a bridge of light glowing a golden color, visulize yourself meeting this lady on the bridge of light, giving each other a hug and seeing them smiling and happy, ask for peace, also take your guide with you when you go, for protection, this is her problem and how awful it must be to be in her head, lucky you that you are not her, once you realize its her problem and not yours, you will rise higher in your spiritual self and she wont seem to bother you any more, hope this helps
Yes. Visualisation is a powerful tool to release this bad energy situation. It can make you feel positive feelings for her and vice versa. Or at least that the energy between you neutralises.
Thank you all for your kind comments. I appreciate all of this advice.
You are all right in what you said.... I have let this get to me for some time now and the last few days I have begun to find a peace within myself.... my only hope is that I will maintain this peace and positive energy!
Eckhart Tolle advices on relationships in this film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vshBnR4Z9x8 Good that you have found peace. Hope you manage to maintain it. I am sure you will.
Dear Stardust; Wouldn't it be nice to be able to choose our family as we choose our friends...but alas that isn't the way the world is ordered. Therefore, we have to work with what we have. This seems like an issue of control, and it sounds like she feels an amount of her life is out of her control so she will control yours. And what better way to control another woman than through her most primal relationship...that of her children. What you need to do is (and this is for you and your own sanity) is deny her that control. You cannot ever control another, in fact the only thing any of us truly has control over is the control of our own selves and the way we react to others. If you remain caring and compassionate but do not let her actions get under your skin then she will eventually quit trying. This is however, one of those things that is said easily and done with difficulty. The trick is to NEVER let her SEE that her manipulative ways upset you. Also this is a great opportunity to teach your child through your own actions that they can "take the high road" in their own troubling relationships. I hope that this helps you. It has worked well many times for me. But on some people who have a stubborn nature it can take a while. Luck and Blessings.
i sincerely hope that you can maintain a peaceful outcome in all of this, we are all on our journey, people like you and myself, are like sponges, we absorb others negetive energy, when you feel that she is going to start this if she does again with you , do a bit of distraction, i worked around people with dementia for quite a while, and we used tactics to distract their behaviour, something like i am going to have a cuppa coffe, or anyone want to have a look at the garden, change the subject in a subtle way, protect yourself, imagine a pain of rose colored glass sheild around yourself and her, i wish you all the very best and it will settle, focus upon you and your family and dont let anyone walk all over you, you are a beautiful being of light.