Cancer males and marriage

  • I've read that cancer men avoid serious relationships (from various sources). What makes them decide to get married!

  • The one I know married because it was the most practical and sensible choice. Not out of love for her. He saw it as an easy solution, since she was so humble and good. He had in fact decided to stay single all through his life, but then he met this girl whom he saw as one who would be a good wife for him and one who could help him with his practical matters, so they married after a really short time. Although the wife married for the same reason. They are still married and have an easy life together. Marriage is about cooperation and to be good to each other. About helping each other in this life. Not about the lust and desires. The lower nature should not be what leads us to marry.

  • I think alot of men marry for practical reasons and some women. I even heard men say things like I married her because she can cook a good meal and has big boobs and he was satisfied with his wife because that is all he wanted. I agree with hanged women. My exs father told me once when you are young you marry out of lust adn as time goes it grows into love and when you get old its companionship. Hes cherokee Indian, he is very wise and I have much respect for him.

  • Hmm, through experience, I completely disagree with this "practical" view. Practical is equivalent to "settling" in my opinion. I settled because of my biological time clock and the heart felt desire to have children. He was a good husband, good father and after 16 years of marriage & a peaceful parting we are still very good friends. We both still felt empty inside. We loved and love each other, but are not "in love". Sex & lust has nothing to do with it either. Our sex life was very healthy, just empty. Yes, it works, we could still be married and move along as robots, but both chose not to. I guess it's to each their own in making this life long decision.

    Regarding the Cancer and when they decide to get married, usually depends on the maturity when they do decide. The younger Cancers tend to choose the wrong mate & marry (not all), the older, more experienced are well honed in on their desire and have learned what works for them in a relationship & while dating probably test alittle more than they should. Any of the water signs at an older age realize emotion/feelings must be reciprocated as well as a need to be understood. More so with Cancer. In any case, any sign we want the whole package, we dream about it, fantasize about it and if we are realistic enough and patient enough, we may all be blessed with all that we desire to complete us, and the partnership. If it's practical and makes us happy, then that's great. The key here is happiness within.

  • Yes autum spirit, I dont agree with marrying for those reasons either I was only remarking on what others have said about reasons to marry. i also marrie dwrong because of my desire for a family. I loved my ex hubby too but not on the level that either of us would be satisfied. It lasted all of 7 years and it wasnt all horrible but it wasnt that great either. I remember feeling even more alone being in a loveless marraige then I do as a single gal. Its important to truly be in love with someone who you choose to marry. At least thats what I will be loking for next time around. The cancer man that I knwo is scared to death of marraige. He has seen his father marry 3 times and divorce 2 times. THis has scared him from commitment as his views of marraige have been negative from what he has seen. Its too bad because I feel that if you are with true love you can withstand anything together if you are willing to do the work. And that certainly has to begin within yourself before you can bring it into a marraige. I heard once also that if still have unresolved internal issues and you bring them into a relationship that those issues will be multiplied times 3. So I have been working on my inner stuff hoping some day I have something to offer the one Im in love with besides a bunch of old skeletons rattling around.

  • There are many different kinds of love, and I believe each individual determines what mixture is suitable for them. My uncle told me his 1st wife was his passion and his 2nd wife he grew to love for reasons of practicality. One of my good friend’s ex-husband left her because although she was his best friend, he needed and found passion. He found 2 different types of love in 2 different women, but he didn’t stay with either because he needed both (or more) in the same woman. I believe in having both and I believe there is an all encompassing love out there for everyone; it’s just that the composite mixture of the different types of love will be different for each individual.

    From what I know and have read about Cancer men (it’s even true for me). Romances always start out with a bang, where the 2 individuals are caught up in a euphoric state of new love/lust. As time progresses and we begin to really know each other we determine from a practicality point of view whether we want to stay with this person for a lifetime. In a lot of cases the answer would be no, and in few cases it is yes. Very often I hear people say Cancer men fall in love easily, but I don’t believe that is necessarily true. The younger ones may mistake the euphoric stage to be real, but the more mature ones know better. I think a lot of them get caught up with the presence of their emotions, but that is why they take to the time to disengage from their object of affections to determine if those emotions are for real or not. If they are real then they start looking at all the practical requirements needed to take that relationship into the more permanent stages. If it’s not real, then they either leave or continue on (if they want to) and keep it casual. For him to be ready all those pieces have to be in place, or he has to know there is a potential for all those needs to be fulfilled in that person.

  • “I heard once also that if still have unresolved internal issues and you bring them into a relationship that those issues will be multiplied times 3. “

    I agree.

  • I have been married to a Cancer man for 21 years...I am also a Cancer and our son is a Cancer I think that the easiest relationship with a Cancer is another Cancer only because there is a forgiveness and understanding because of the deep way they feel it translates better to another Cancer and also he is born on the cusp of Gemini and I have a Gemini stabilize all the water...(Smile)

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  • well I'm sure to each person there comes a time they decide that 'this is the one I will share the rest of my life with'. I don't have good experience with Cancer males but it was never romantic relationship anyway so I wouldn't know what makes them decide to marry.

    I know one married a Pisces (or maybe aries, somewhere around that and they are still together for over 10 yrs now. They got married because she was pregnant. I know his family and was there when her family kind of backed her up to make him marry her for the sake of the child. But anyway, that can happen to any sign I guess.

    There is another one, but the last time I met him, he was in the entertainment industry and still sleeping around. Not sure how he is now since I never heard of him anymore. Everyone else I have no clue, but people can change plus upbringing helps shape personality. You will need to know him inside out to know what will make him marry.

  • Thank you for everyone's response.

    Aquabubbles,“I heard once also that if still have unresolved internal issues and you bring them into a relationship that those issues will be multiplied times 3. “

    I agree.

    I definitely agree with you there. What do you suggest I do to help him and myself before we get into a knotted, messy situation?

  • Forgot to ask if some cancer males can please participate ...(this could be interesting...) tx

  • My brother is a cancer and he is married to a gemini. The woman drives him nuts but he loves her. He married her for completely practical reasons tho as he lived abroad at the time and that was the only way for them to stay together. He's said to me many times that if it wasn't for circumstances he would never marry as he doesn't believe in marriage regardless of the fact that he loves his wife.

  • Hmm…funny you should ask, I’m familiar with knotted, messy situations. 🙂

    I really think it depends on what the wounds are. The most important thing we can do in any relationship is to keep the lines of communication open. None of us blurt out our entire life story at the beginning of a relationship, and sometimes we don’t even realize that we are acting a certain way because of some past hurt. When we become more aware of why we do what we do, we take ownership of our behaviour instead of blaming or accusing the other person because something they did has triggered something in us. Opening up and revealing ourselves does protect us from further hurt, imo. And I think we actually hurt ourselves more than anyone else can hurt us if we become so protective of it that we can’t release it. If we react negatively to someone’s behaviour it can actually stir up some underlying negative memories/thoughts/reactions in them, so if we take the focus off the behaviour then the probability is higher that we get an explanation as to what it’s all about without them feeling attacked. On the other hand, if someone is sharing something about themselves, it is not our place to discount their issue because it is very real for them. Nobody feels good with unresolved issues lurking in their lives, so I believe people do make an effort to figure it out, but if we keep pushing their buttons we are preventing them from healing.

  • Thanks for this nice and interesting interview!

  • The above quote is my back is wrong.

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