Why it is difficult to date a cancer?



  • Saranee->>Have you ever thought what are you going to do if he wants to make it a serious relationship?

    Lua->> I don't really foresee that happening soon. His job situation is not stable. He told me after two years he has to decide if he wants to go to an airline in South Korea or work in the Middle East. Seems like his mind is more on his work situation. He's never had a serious relationship before, and I don't really know if he wants to or knows how to have one. I know he's thought about me for 13 years before we got together so I know I fit somewhere in his heart. If he wants to make it serious I am willing to go for it but we'll have to find a way to see each other more often. I am willing to have a serious relationship, although i haven't had one for nearly 20 years. Whenever I talk about something serious he starts joking around.

    I'm findiing that by letting go of expectations I am feeling happier, just appreciative about what i do have with him. Like right now I know he's surfing the web and posting stupid jokes on twitter. Before I would get upset and wonder why he's on the computer but not e-mailing me or contacting me. Now I'm reading his stupid jokes and enjoying them. Sometimes I have no clue why I like this guy so much.

    can you post the date, year and city again so i don't have to go back and try to search for it? it would be easier.



  • Luazinha>>can you post the date, year and city again so i don't have to go back and try to search for it? it would be easier

    April 17 1985 Canton Ohio 11:17pm



  • Saranee, A new thread has been started. " Aquarius seeking othere Aquarius friends ",If you care to comment on it , katie is there already .



  • Oh its under Astrology .



  • Luaz:

    I'm findiing that by letting go of expectations I am feeling happier, just appreciative about what i do have with him. Like right now I know he's surfing the web and posting stupid jokes on twitter. Before I would get upset and wonder why he's on the computer but not e-mailing me or contacting me. Now I'm reading his stupid jokes and enjoying them. Sometimes I have no clue why I like this guy so much.

    I only had 3 serious relationships so far (not including the cancer guy) and i am trying to learn from each of them. I can also see that its improving over the time..like the Libra guy..my last one was a great experience. But i still have lot more to learn..i was reading your post and thinking maybe i should have tried to be happy with what i had with the cancer although i still am not sure what exactly we had. when i think he kissed me because he thinks i was too cute..i dont know what to think about him..then again i think i always appreciate honesty then why cant i appretiate what he told me honestly. Someone once in this thread told me..my views are more like black and white,now i think maybe she was right i need to start see the gray area now.

    oh well.. anyway here are my details.... Time:11.40am , DOB- Feb 1st 1977, place- CoachBehar India..



  • Thanks Llindie:

    I will definately see you guys there 🙂



  • saranee-I'll do your chart later.

    I think there's a reason we meet the people that we meet and have the relationships we have. I try to look at it from the point of view that we have something to learn from each person we meet. Someone once said that the point of relationships is to heal a part of ourselves. Or sometimes a person is a mirror of what we have a difficult time seeing in ourselves. I am 48 and I've only had 2 serious relationships, one in college and the last one was nearly 20 years ago. Since then I've had casual dates and short term affairs but the last 11 years I totally shut myself off and gave up. I also must have put up "stay away from me" vibes because no one asked me out. It took the cancer guy coming to my door and demanding I open the door (after I ignored him for about 45 minutes) for me to open up again. He said he would have camped out on my doorstep until I opened the door. I then felt like there was something almost Karmic between us and i needed to let him in. I still don't know why exactly, but one thing I do know is that in my last two relationships I was clingy vulnerable and insecure. That probably chased them away. This time I am learning to be stronger on the inside, more secure and learning not to take everything so personally, be more accepting, etc. In this way i feel like i have really grown. I was terrified of getting involved emotionally for 20 years in fear of getting my heart broken again. My heart was frozen for 20 years! Coincidentally, (or not) my ex from 19 years ago wrote to me 2 weeks ago after 19 years..Maybe things will make more sense later on...there's some reason you were involved with this guy.



  • Luazinha>>I am 48 and I've only had 2 serious relationships

    Sandran712>>I am 46 only 1 serious relationship.



  • Luaz:

    I think there's a reason we meet the people that we meet and have the relationships we have. I try to look at it from the point of view that we have something to learn from each person we meet. Someone once said that the point of relationships is to heal a part of ourselves. Or sometimes a person is a mirror of what we have a difficult time seeing in ourselves...

    I agree with that and i am still learning from all my past relationships..but i wouldnt say i was clingy,vulnerable or insecure..( my past three relationships) .the more i read these post the more i realise the leo/cancer(DOB 26th july) guy was lot similer with the cancer guy recently i was seeing for few months...everytime i tried to broke up with him(leo) everytime he came back with some excuses..and i ended up staying with him for 3.5 yrs. 😞

    The story was different with the Libra...it was perfect in every sense but it didnt work out because i had to move out of state for school. it broke my heart when we broke up...even the Libra guy still thinks we were probably be together if i didnt moved out of state. I think maybe the time was not right for us..i dont know...i really wish maybe one day we will cross path again.

    there's some reason you were involved with this guy.

    I dont know maybe you are right..maybe i will realise it later...

    This time I am learning to be stronger on the inside, more secure and learning not to take everything so personally, be more accepting..

    what else i could have done with this cancer? what do you mean when you said be more accepting? its not that i want to go back with him...i just want to analyze my actions..



  • saranee-when I said I am learning to be more accepting, i was referring to my situation, not yours. I haven't had a relationship for nearly 20 years because I always found fault with the men, always comparing them to my last ex-aries in Brazil. I am accepting of my current cancer for who is, I accept his complaining and crabbiness when he is stressed, etc. But if he plays too many games with me (which he hasn;t done) or treats me wrong I will not be accepting of that.

    Sometimes what we learn is not necessarily what we should of done in a situation but something more profound about ourselves. It's different for each of us. Maybe it's to value ourselves more and not let a guy influence our emotions so much, Or sometimes we learn what we don't want, so next time we can be more clear about what we Do want. I went out with an immature but very cute aqua 11 years ago. I think the only thing I learned was that i didn't want a jealous immature guy that questioned me about what i was doing 24/7. In contrast now I got a guy who barely contacts me..haha extremes...

    About you and your Libra crossing paths again, you never know. My ex wrote to me after 19 years. Even my cancer came to my door after 13 years...Or you'll meet someone better...send some vibrations out to the Universe. Imagine the characteristics of the type of man you want, imagine yourself happy with him, and see what happens. Be specific though, because I was fantasizing about a Brazilian/Italian pilot when my cancer guy, who just happens to be that, came to my door. Now I wish i was more specific, I forgot to tell the Universe i wanted an Air sign or fire sign, and not a water sign!!

    Sandran712>>I am 46 only 1 serious relationship

    Lua>>I'm sure yours was longer than my relationships. One was in college, on and off 3 years and the last was 19 years ago, and only lasted less than a year, but it was intense. I was really only in love with the aries though, the shorter relationship. The first was a Gemini and it was a rollercoaster ride.



  • Luazinha>.I think there's a reason we meet the people that we meet and have the relationships we have

    Sandran712>>>I've heard of this.When I was with the Sag.I was grieving.He seen me for 5 months and then left.He told me that he did not like me in a romantic way..At another place and time he was good in bed...LOL.Yes he was there for me.I wanted him to be there for me romantically.But the communication was not there.and the same thing with the Capricorn.We seen each other for 6 hours/1 date and again....We have chemistry but, communication is not there..Now I have communication with this Taurus and he's got a girlfriend.So...WTF???LOL



  • .saranee>>..even the Libra guy still thinks we were probably be together if i didnt moved out of state

    Sandran712>>This was no reason to break off anything.You could have still communicated.To get to know each other.If the feelings were strong enough you could travel.Unless it's out of the country.That's different.



  • Luaz:

    send some vibrations out to the Universe. Imagine the characteristics of the type of man you want, imagine yourself happy with him, and see what happens.

    I like it..

    Be specific though, because I was fantasizing about a Brazilian/Italian pilot when my cancer guy, who just happens to be that, came to my door. Now I wish i was more specific, I forgot to tell the Universe i wanted an Air sign or fire sign, and not a water sign!!

    haha..i will be very specific about no Cancer lol



  • Sandran:

    This was no reason to break off anything.You could have still communicated.To get to know each other.If the feelings were strong enough you could travel.Unless it's out of the country.That's different

    We both are in US ,he is in west and i am in south east. i was ready for long distance..i knew its not going to bother me and i also knew its only for 2 yrs..then i can go back to him. we tried six months..and he send me plane tickets twice so that i can go and see him..but everytime i come back he gets more upset..he is like i want to see you everyday..like we used to..not in every 3/4 months...break up was his decision not mine...he couldnt do it...he still calls me now and then...just casual ..how is school and stuff like that.. after we broke up his mom called me..actually his parents really liked me......she said i wish you two cross path again in future and see what happens....i thought that was sweet....



  • sandran712>>If the feelings were strong enough you could travel.Unless it's out of the country.That's different.

    Lua>>not necessarily. My cancer and I live in 2 different countries and we've been meeting in a third..We are probably closer distance wise than the east and west coast of the US though. Of course when he lived in Brazil that was the opposite side of the world so it was different.. You never know Saranee, if you were meant to be together, you may some day...



  • saranee>>he is like i want to see you everyday..like we used to..not in every 3/4 months...break up was his decision not mine...he couldnt do it.

    Sandran712>>Ohhh....ok.I understand now...Long distance just doesn't work part time.You can't blame him for breaking it off.I wouldn't blame him. But,when he was together he should not have been so negative with the time you did have.He should have put some of that negative energy into figuring out ways to be with you instead of going against it.I know..when us Cancer's want something bad enough we fight for it.I know when I want to do something I think 3 steps ahead of the situation.My mom(Cappy) likes to wait to the last minute.I do not!..And then when it's last minute she will come to me and start the woe is me cra*p..lol



  • Sandran:

    You can't blame him for breaking it off.I wouldn't blame him. But,when he was together he should not have been so negative with the time you did have.He should have put some of that negative energy into figuring out ways to be with you instead of going against it.

    Nah..i dont blame him either..well the first time i went to see her i only stayed 3 days..and the second time was on X-mas break when i stayed 2 weeks..it was great..we were hanging out in all those places where we used to...its funny i just remember something..so there was this Indian restaurent which was my fav..and we used go there once a week..everybody knows us there..so when the last time we went there it was after 4 months i guess, the guy in the restaurent asked where were you guys? I thought you guys left the state... he promptly said no i am still here..she just left me..and i was like wow..



  • charmed>>my cat is even a Cancer

    Sandran712>>My mom's chihuahua is a Cancer.And I am a Cancer..She acts like me.But, my mom is a Cappy.



  • Sandran>>Sandran712>>My mom's chihuahua is a Cancer.And I am a Cancer..She acts like me.

    Lua>>so animals also are affected by heir signs? My last cat was a Libra. My 2 present kitties are Tauruses..they are affectionate, cuddly and follow me around everywhere.



  • Lua>so animals also are affected by heir signs?

    Sandran712>>I think so...She is a bundle of nerves...bless her heart she is scared of strangers.


Log in to reply