Why it is difficult to date a cancer?

  • Well, first of all, you could work on your grammar a bit. If you truly are a grad student, perhaps he is an intelligent well-educated fellow, himself, and finds your writing and speech rather poor. I don't know, maybe nothing like that. Sometimes it's not worth worrying about every little thing you might have said "wrong". If he can't be straight forward, I'd say move on.

  • majiq:

    well.. i am sorry if my poor grammer hurts you because english is not my first language. I am an international student, and to answer your question yes i am a grad student and i am not majoring in english so it does not bother me and those people whom i am working with. i worked with an emergency management company for summer and i guess it didnt bother them either. but anyway i am not here to talk about me . Now lets see his educational qualification...he didnt finish college...

  • @Saranee --- Honestly, I'd say RUN as far away as you could Gal !! I've been playing this chase game with my cancer for many many months now and I've been through what they call every single cancer 'test' possible...some I fared well in, others I failed miserably...But I couldn't care less now. Ignoring a Cancer is as difficult as making him fall for ya!! They always come back when THEY need you. Do you understand its all about them!! Its for you to decide now. Your cancer if not in love, would not be upfront about anything (they never are actually). You have to guess and judge when and where to draw the line!! I can see you're very perturbed and am sure losing some of your beauty sleep too over it...Don't do that to yourself. Be brave, introspect and decide your course of action once and for all. And if you decide to part ways, Be very specific when you break the news to him. The most difficult part, CONTROL YOURSELF AND BE VERY BUSINESS LIKE whenever you cross paths with him or else he may never leave you alone. Cancers can SENSE feelings and emotions hidden underneath all our layers. One reason why I fell for mine...and now he just wouldn't leave me alone!!! LoL. Whats ur zodiac sign btw?

    P.S.- I hate to see so many of us being toyed with and its just ONE zodiac sign we keep going in circles about !! LoL

  • Astrodame:

    I like the way you explain things and thanks for all your inputs. 🙂

    i am an Aquarius..according to astrology totaly not compatible with cancer. lol . his DOB is july 2nd 1976.You were right about cancers can sense things...and i fell for him because of that. I am irritated because i dont treat people this way and i know i dont deserve this either. But i think its time to move on...

    what is your sign btw?

  • Saranee. Hello . My god I do feel for you , I'm going through the exact same thing as you , I met my cancer fella on line , He comes from India . When we first started chatting we got on great, only after a few days he told me he was starting to fall in love with me , then we met , I had to drive over 200 miles to see him and i fell in love with him instantly. He is very good looking . spent 3 wonderful days together and when i left he cried ,i did as well. We spoke every day on the phone and text all day long . We met again a month later , then another 4 times after that, all the time in constant contact. Every time it was me who drove all the way to see him . Then he went back ti India for a holiday in july this year and while there his parents arranged a marriage for him . Now can you imagine how i felt when he told me this ? Devistated . Anyway to cut a long story short our phone calls became less , but he 's still saying he loves me and its a culture thing and has to obey his parents . I asked him when i could see him again and he said he couldent get time off work so soon as he just had 6 weeks of while in India ,so I thought ok . Anyway out of the blue he call me on a wednesday night to tell me he was going to India in a couple of day's time .... so that was it all hell broke loose , all of a sudden he could get time off to go there but couldent manage to spend a couple of days with me . so i told him where to go and sent him an email apologising for all the horrible thing si said to him on the phone . Next thin i heard he was at the airport so i said to him ( is it this week or next week you are getting married ) he replied that he was not getting engaged or married and that he would call me in a day or two . Sure he did on the saturday and i havent heard reom him since and thats over two weeks ago . I am still convinced he's got marrried . He logged in to messenger last week loggrd in again as invisible to everyone , do you think he saw me on line and dident want to talk to me ? Any way he will be back next weekend so if he dosent contact me i know it is over between us , i cant believe he has treated me like this . Why coulde't he just of been honest with me , all the things i have done and helped him with , Me doing all the travelling to see him and paying fot the hotel fees every time , i also helped with his visa fees amd university fees , i now feel he has just used me . Why say all those nice things to me and that it was from his heart , he would never leave me ever , he could never love anyone else , etc ..... so do you think he will contact me when he comes back or do you think its over between us ? help! ....

  • saranee>>i am an Aquarius..according to astrology totaly not compatible with cancer. lol

    Sandran712>>I have a brother who is Aquarius.I am very close to him.Aquarius and Cancer could work.Really...any sign could work.It just takes work.My son's father was an Aries.And Cancer and Aries are a match made in hell.But,we were together off and on for over 20 years.I am dealt with my son being an Aries.If you understand how the sign you are with works .It can work.Because my son's sign is not compatible with mine.I can't get rid of him..LOL

  • llindieloo>>I met my cancer fella on line

    Sandran712>>Bad Move..Cancer are visual learners.We want to see you in person.Relationship with a Cancer is not wise across the globe.

    llindieloo>>only after a few days he told me he was starting to fall in love with me , then we met , I had to drive over 200 miles to see him and i fell in love with him instantly.

    Sandran712>>This was a big RED FLAG.For one..A Cancer doesn't move that fast.He has got to be young and immature.Cancer's have to take alot of time in a relationship..Ask the other people on here.They make fun of us Cancers..LOL.I hardly think 3 days will develop anything for a relationship.It takes a Cancer forever in a day to make up our minds.We are dealing with another person's emotions.It drains a Cancer.Gawd! I can't believe that a Cancer puts up with texting.We even hate the telephone.We use phones for catching up and emergencies.

  • llindieloo>>Every time it was me who drove all the way to see him

    Sandran712>>>This was another Big RED FLAG..If there was any feelings at all.He should have came to see you.I mean you all know a Cancer can get smothering.Why didn't he make any attempts to see you.

    llindiloo>>but he 's still saying he loves me and its a culture thing and has to obey his parents

    Sandran712>>I would believe this..It's sounds like a Cancer.My mom always finding stuff for me to do.And I am in my 40's..LOL So believe that one..But,...it sounds like he is young and he

    isn't got the backbone to live his life.Because..if he was more mature then he would tell his parents to go to hell..

  • llindieloo>> am still convinced he's got marrried . He logged in to messenger last week logged in again as invisible to everyone , do you think he saw me on line and dident want to talk to me ?

    Sandran712>>No I don't think he logged in on invisible to ignore you.I think someone in the room he was using the computer might see you online.It sounds if that he might not be married,but,,the parents are still hassleing him to go through the wedding.

    llindieloo>>i now feel he has just used me.

    Sandran712>>I wouldn't say he used you.Any guy can do that.But, I don't feel like he made the effort.Seems like an opportunist.Jumped on it and ran.Don't feel bad.But, lerave this guy alone..Even if it turns out he didn't get married after all.Just walk away.Do Not contact him.

  • llindieloo:

    I am so sorry to hear that. I know exactly how it feels when somebody treat you like that.Its been a week since i started reading this forum and actually gain lot of knowledge about that particular sign. I would say move on my friend i know its difficult but thats what i am trying to do too. its really surprising that he said he loves you after 3 days...how old is he?

    Now let me tell you few things...as you said he is from India i can relate myself with him because i am from India too. Inter racial relationships are not broadly accepted in India but there are exceptions too. I have several friends they fall in love with some one who is not Indian and eventually got married. But not all the guys have the guts to tell their parents that i am dating someone who is not from India and want to be with her. And the arrange marriage thing you said is very common in several places of India...spacially northern and southern part. Is he from northarn part of India?

    The guy i was seeing ...he lives in another state but its an hour drive...not too bad and he did the driving all the time.so next time he wants to see you let him do the driving and evrything.

    I dont have any other better explanation rather than that because i am still trying to figure out mine.I hope that helps. good luck. what is your sign btw?

  • Sandran712:

    You know at the very begining i thought the same too. i dont belive that if two people really want to work things out astrological signs can stop them. but you have to have the another person to the other end to work things out.....but he is been gone...without giving me a single reason. so thats bother me as being an aquarius because i value honesty too much. and i feel he is not being honest with me. action speaks louder than words. he was suppose to see me last weekend but he didnt made it and he didnt inform me either, he did the same thing two weekends in a row...that tells a lot about a guys charecter. if i cant trust on a mans word i cant trust him. so now i can see rather than astrlogical differences we have a basic differences of principals.drama and game is not in my book.

    but anyway it was quite an experience and i learned. somebody once told me...

    There's only one thing more painful than learning from experience , and that's not learning from experience!!

    Thanks for your input...this sign is an interesting sign if you can observe without getting involved...lol actually my sister is getting married to a cancer next month and she is aquarius too. so it does work...because when there is a will there is a way.... 🙂

  • Saranee.

    Thank you so much for your reply, you asked me what sign I am .. Well i'm an Aquarian as well , and he comes from Maharashtra in Mumbai . I have known him for 17 months and i thought we knew each other pretty well . I cant and wont believe all the things he said to me were not true. He did say to me that if i were younger he would marry me without any hesitation, but because i am 20 years older his parents would not accept me . He is 30 . He told his mum about me , but as his employer. and even said he would take me to india next time he went there. But of course he hasent done that . When he came back last time , he asked me for some money as he was skint so i sent him 300 pounds , so now i'm thinking he put this aside for this trip. I cant wait for next weekend to see if he contacts me and what excuses he can come up with why he dident call me fron India when he said he would . If he does call me and he hasen;t got married then i will probably forgive him and carry on as before , but if he has lied to me and has got married then its over and he has lost a very good friend and lover cause i do love him with all my heart and would do anything for him. I hope we can be friends and continue to discuss our relationship with these cancer men plz keep me posted take care xxx

  • saranee>>but he didnt made it and he didnt inform me either,

    Sandran712>>A Cancer is really bad at keeping appointments in a relationship department.But, does not mean he didn't want to see you.Something probably came up all of a sudden.This happens alot.

    saranee>>if i cant trust on a mans word i cant trust him

    Sandran712>>Neither can I.I tell a guy up front..I don't like to be lied to.If they are seeing other women I want to know.It may hurt.But, I still want to hear it.Us Cancer's are very emotional.If we cry.It's usually because of a man hurt us.So I cut to the chase.If a man is involved with somone when they first approach me I move on.I am tired of being hurt by a man.It gets old and tired.And I am getting old and tired...LOL

  • lindieloo>>When he came back last time , he asked me for some money as he was skint so i sent him 300 pounds

    Sandran>>Is this guy for real???...asking a woman for money...What is 300 pounds for American currency?..He is 30 years old..For Crise Sakes..Don't he have a job?And what is wrong with him spending his own money to see you..I'm sorry but, it seems like you love him more than he loves you.Even here in America women won't be seen with a man that is broke and no job.Unless they are married.Depends on the circumstances.I know times are tough.You are putting out more effort than this guy deserves.Please just step back..sit and think... look over everything he has or hasn't done for you.If he is married whether it be arranged or not.You need to leave him alone.

  • Sandran712 . I know i have been stupid and I thank you for your comments, I live in England so I dont know what 300 pounds is in dollars. But i still love him and i wake up every morning with him on my mind , Just cant believe he is treating me this way . He seemed so genuine and caring . He will probably come back next week and call me apologising for not contacting me saying he couldent get through on his phone or the internet connection was bad , or some other excuse . He does have a job , but it dosen't pay well . Again thank you and please keep in touch, and I hope we can become friends xxxx

  • IIindieloo:

    to be honest i feel like he is not looking for a serious relationship with you, might be the age difference i dont know. "He did say to me that if i were younger he would marry me without any hesitation"....so it sounds like he is not sure yet.

    here i would agree with sandran712...just take a step back and think..dont give him anymore money. let him take the next step..if he really likes you. Thats all i can say right now because thats what i am doing...if he call me back then i will be straight forward and clear things up...if he does not then its over.

    Wish i could be more help. Let me know what happens?

  • Sandran712:

    I have a question for you...as you a cancer too..figure you probably will be a good person to ask. I have been thinking about this for past months...for me if i am romantically involved with someone and at the same time i am some sort of problems in my life i will not shut him down. i will try to figure out my problem by myself but at the same time being with him and seing him will give me comfort that some one cares for me. where i can be with someone without thinking of my problem and still enjoy the time. thats how it works for me. but when he disappeared i started wondering what possibly might be going on his little head lol

    now i am curious why do they disappear? they feel they are moving too fast? or insecure? or just bored...what do you think?

  • saranee>>what possibly might be going on his little head lol

    Sandran>>Oh You mean..What makes a Cancer up and run for long periods of time>And what do they do with their time when they are not seeing you?Hmmm.I always kept busy.I do cross stitching for a hobby.My nephew missed my birthday by three days.lives in a different town.He told me he was in a bowling league.I just have to assume Cancer's help people out.I am devoted to my special needs son.When a Cancer gets bored.It does not always mean we are going astray.But,we do like our quiet time.Kinda like going to the grocery store shopping all day.Being around a lot of ppl.You want to go home to peace and quiet.I would ask him what his hobbies are.I bet he will tell you they involve sports.Outside stuff like fishing,sailing surfing etc.Because I know in the summer ..you won't find me in the house.You'll see me out walking or riding my bike.

  • saranee>>>feel they are moving too fast? or insecure? or just bored...what do you think?

    Sandran712>>Personally to me...All men are insecure..LOL.They act like children.Why do you think they want you to do their laundry??And be a soup kitchen to them?I love to cook and invite a guy over for dinner.But, when all they want to do is come over to dinner and be on their way..It feels a little insulting.A Cancer will feel like a person is pushing them into something they don't want to do.Moving too fast.And this what I think is going on with llindeloo.A Cancer only feels bored when the same ole same ole goes on and doesn't see any improvement in a situation.A Cancer hates drastic change.Something that would hit you like a ton of bricks change.We try to cope with change at a slower pace than most.A long distance relationship doesn't work for a Cancer.Because we learn about a person in a physical sense.Talking on the phone don't work because we cannot see or feel your emotions.A real relationship takes longer time for Cancers because we have too much trust issues.Back and Forth conversations to Cancers get old way fast.The closer in person the better.And maybe this is why I give up on men too fast.If they never come around there is nothing to go on.No feelings to develop.Nothing from nothing leaves nothing.

  • @saranee --- I am a piscean with taurus moon and gemini rising. Pretty complicated for me as I handle three different elements within me altogether!! LoL. And you're right about two ppl being able to cope up with differences w/o involving their signs BUT it does help if both your natal charts show some compatibility to begin with!! I am glad to see you trying to be brave and wiser now that you've learnt something from your experience with ur cancer. Thats the philosophy I too go by...everyone comes in your life to teach you something and every experience must be taken as a lesson...good or bad. Being positive will take one places... :):):)

    @llindieloo --- I am sorry to see you suffering like this but I do feel you need to take your mind off this fella for the time being... Get busier than you already are...

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