Why it is difficult to date a cancer?

  • As I said, most men have not learned to share problems. They think they should solve problems, not just share.

  • you are so right hanswolfgang! I love your insight and wise words 🙂

    I too am in a relationship with a cancer and came to the forum when I was most lost with him... We have had an extremely challenging year - but always come back to each other..

    I have learnt so much through the posts and found friends who are experiencing the same thing... My cancer has just gone through a rough time and only wanted me to help him - so I really think we are getting back to where we are happy again... Just wondering if you had any "feelings" ?? Thanks

  • Yes, you are getting back to where you are happy again.

  • Thanks so much! I had a reading and they said it would all go wrong - but that was back in May - and after everything that we have gone through this year - I just don't want to get my hopes up and then have them dashed again - but i really want to believe it is going to work out 🙂

    Thanks for giving your time and energy so freely 🙂

  • Hanswolfgang:

    Thanks for sharing your insight. It helped me a lot 🙂

    He called me last night but i was in my friends place so asked him to call me back in a little while..he never did..but i dont worry about that much. I am kind of starting to know his other side...which is interesting. ...this is 2nd time he text me tellling..not to be mad at him,that means he cares about if he makes me mad or not...which is kinda cute :)..actually he is cute..

    i hope he solves all his problem soon and we will be like the way we were before... 🙂

  • Saranee, I can relate to everything you've said about your Cancer guy. Let me tell you my story. I'm an Aries who met a Cancer guy online. We've been dating exclusively for 6 months. He started talking about having an LTR (long term relationship) within the first week we met. He had sent beautiful roses to my job 4 out of the 6 months, given me jewelry, computers, furniture, money, etc. Even wanted to take me to Mexico this weekend to celebrate our 6 mnth anniversary. But after talking on the phone, texting and emailing several times a day for the first 5 months, he started disappearing on me. He came to my house last Friday, left Saturday morning to go back home. But said he'd return Sat (Halloween night). Then he texts me that something came up. When I called him to find out what happened, he said he had to help his Aunt move her stuff because she'd gotten kicked out of her house. That was the last I heard of him. Then, on Tuesday, I get 2 dozen roses sent to my job with a card saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. My problem is, why hasn't he called, emailed or texted me. It's going on 5 days. From everything that I've read on these forums, it sounds like Cancer men are the most confusing sign of them all. Why can't he be straight with me. Either you want to communicate or not? Either you want me or you don't. I'm not contacting him until he contacts me. Sorry, I wasn't much help to you, I just felt the need to vent and to let you know that you're not alone. Your guy probably likes you, but his Cancer-ness is taking control. LOL. Good luck!

  • Itsjustme2:

    Aww...your guy sounds so sweet..but not to overlook the fact that he is canser too. But i am sorry i dont have any better explanation for this because i dont the answer behind his(my guy) actions either. I feel like he is confused and he makes me confuse too...its more than 3 weeks we have seen each other and over couple weeks that we talk the way we used to....and my question is same either you like me or not...so i send him a mail and a text saying goodbye(incase he miss one..he will get the other one lol). he text me back after a day saying "i have lot going on, please dont be mad at me, i will call you later" he called me that same night but i was with my friend and he was driving home from work so i said why dont you call me back when you get home. he said ok i will talk to you in a minute lol...he never called me back since then. i tried to call him back that same night but i think he had his phone switched off. so i desided to do nothing...just wait and see if he takes a step forward and contacts me...i did my part...i cant do anything more than that...if he really wants to be with me and spend time with me he will find a way...and he knows where to find me...

    Its kinda hard to stay mad at him he is so cute...but thats just bewteen us(you and me) lol ...let him think that i am mad...lol

    so i guess we both are in the same situation... not sure what comming next..but thanks for replying my post..what i have read so far in this forum that its very common thing for a cancer guy...

    your guy seems really fond of you...i am sure he will come back...

    let me know what happens 🙂

  • @itsjustme2 and saranee --- Dont worry gals, ur 'cancer men' will come bk for sure for a cancer by nature has a hard time letting go of anything that was ever close to his heart... Just don't show him he means the world to you and watch the magic!! Cancerians thrive on care and being wanted...the more you show your neediness, the less they're likely to like you...LoL. Be indifferent and Non-desperate....they come bk crawling dragging their hard shells along 😉 Ahh, I wish there weren't so many of us otherwise 'sane' females falling for these insensitive creatures... My story's funny though...All this while I was the one trying to be indifferent n non-desperate to win over my cancer man...and now that I'm almost done with him n his silly immature games, I want out and he just wouldn't let me !!! So bk to the reverse theory and now I m sending him lovey-dovey 'want to be with yu always' kinda texts to scare him off.....and I'm sure he's eating his brains off thinking how n why the pattern has changed!!! I wish he leaves...ha!

  • astrodame:

    Thanks for replying my post.

    here is some update. i talk to one of my cancer guy friend about him(the guy i am seeing) last night. showed him the text my guy send me and he said..he is avoiding me...he said i have send this type of text to girls before. that means we just dont want to hurt you but dont want to see you again either...its definately a NO..

    so what do i do now?any suggestion please..

  • @saranee --- I'd say don't just follow ur guy friend's idea BLINDLY but yes, avoid falling any more than you already have for your Cancer guy!! A Cancer male will play the mouse and cat chase game 'n' number of times before he falls for you, if at all he does!! Cancerians are very cautious about getting involved BUT are always 'needy' for relationships at the same time... and they can juggle more than 1-2-3 relationships at one time!! Contradictory? Yes, they are!! A Cancer male goes through phases of attraction and repulsion much more than we can even imagine. Its nothing personal about you though. Its 'them' and they know it. The sooner you realize you CAN'T expect more than they're willing to share, more your chances of not getting hurt. Honestly speaking, as much as you like him...he's NOT worth it if he's making you feel miserable often!! I'd say GO FOR SOMEONE BETTER GAL... have a fling, call any guy you've put on hold for this saturday night...Or do just about anything that helps you take your mind off this cancerian meanwhile...Patience is the key here and the old adage that says...set something you love free...if it comes back its here to stay but if it doesn't be glad that you're safe !! 😉 I wish you relief and happiness :):)

  • Astrodame:

    Thanks for taking time and reply to me.

    i just dont understand if he does not like me anymore why cant he just say so. i hate to be confused...why he is still texting me every 4/5 days saying dont be mad at me? he called me wednesday night...why? what does he care anymore if i am mad or not if he does not like me? makes no sense to me...last week i was so pissed(sorry my language) i send him a goodbye mail that this is it...its over. and he called me wednesday night to tell me that he is having problem in work and blah blah..

    i dont get it...this is insane...

    oh like you said contradictory....thats a big YES...he once asked me at the begining when we started talking that what do i think about kiss on a first date...so i said i dont see anything wrong if two ppl are feeling the connection..but he told me he never have before because he does not like the idea at the first date...so on our first date (which was 3 weeks after that conversation) he kissed me in a resturent where we were having lunch. lol i totally didnt expect it...i thought he is against the idea....

  • Hmmm.... Cancerians have a hard time parting with anyone they've ever associated with and hence it's sometimes YEARS before they actually part ways with someone!!! A Cancer is rarely confused himself...they are the most realistic creatures ever to have happened to us lowly souls, lol, BUT yes, they do like to keep others stringing along just for the heck of it! Your Cancer probably was never serious about you (Just like mine still isn't. So we're practically going through the same thing). And texting opposite sex just to keep them hanging is one of cancerian fave things to do. Besides, if he doesn't text you every few days, how'd he know if you still care!! Thats what they thrive on. Once they know they have you caring in anyway possible for them, you lose the charm for them and they're on the move for the next one. He did kiss you on ur first day after telling you he didn't like to!! GOSH... these people say things and check you for your reactions. One suggestion here, DO NOT take anything personally as far as this cancer is concerned. There's nothing wrong with you and he's got no reason not to like you as well. Its just the way he is and will be!! Its his hobby to mess around and he will. Mine does that all the time with all age-groups, sizes and shapes...LOL

  • saranee>>why he is still texting me every 4/5 days saying dont be mad at me

    Sandran712>>.I say the same thing to friends.I am very busy person.A Cancer trait is to call/not call etc.That is a typical Cancer.Me being a Cancer I would not accept a text at all.I erase them.A Cancer wants face to face contact.We hate to talk on the phone too.Everyone I know gets upset when I don't keep in touch.I tell them I am busy.My son is special needs.He is 24 and recently had a stroke.I have dated a few times.But, even guys my age only want one thing.When they don't get it they walk.I met a Cancer guy online years ago.It was nerve wracking and I am a Cancer.You'd think we would be compatible.We did mirror each other.We never met in person.He played games too much.changing the phone number like a man changes his underwear.I talked to him on the telephone for 4 years.We knew we would never meet.He lived 1,000 miles away.So..no more online guys for me..

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  • astrodame:

    yea maybe he was never serious...just playing around..well that was quite an experience. i will make sure that he will be the last cancer i ever dated....not my type.

    i have this feeling he will text me or call me agisn in few days...do u think i should just ignore him?


    you send those text to ur friends when u are busy because you care about them. you would not do that if you didnt care...my question was..it clearly seems he is not interested on me anymore..so why is this texting drama...dont be mad at me..what he cares i am mad or not?

  • keldjoran:

    thanks for being honest about playing games. i will remember that about cancer.

    i dont do that...i dont play with ppl's emotions..and i certainly stay away from those who does.

    i just wish he does not call me or text me aanymore to make it difficult..

  • cancergurl>>Then all of a sudden it was every excuse in the world of why he could not call or come see me anymore

    Sandran712>>We all might be Cancers but, because of the time of birth makes us act different ways.Like,,,I know of Cancers born first part of July... july1-9.These ones I cannot tolerate.But,if it were my birthday July 12-17.. I am more compatible with these ones.I love being with a Saggitarius.But, I cannot trust them.A Cancer cannot handle their secretive ways.They feel like they are always hiding something.Because of my intuition skills I carry with me knows they are honest some of the time and pigs the other half...LOL

  • saranee>>i have this feeling he will text me or call me agisn in few days...do u think i should just ignore him?

    Sandran712>>>No..don't ignore him..You don't know if he is playing or not.It's too soon to tell.I am just saying he may be or sounds like a player.He could be sincere.It's just so tacky him acting so impulsively on the job.Sometimes a woman's intuition answers it for you.Not knowing him personally we cannot give you an exact answer.

  • you send those text to ur friends when u are busy because you care about them

    Sandran712>>I do not do texting of any kind.I tell anyone up front Do Not Text me.I don't like it.And,email is better.I am a single parent.I am 46 not 20 something.Any guy I want to contact.I email.I get an answer I do I don't I don't.Actions speak louder than words.It hurts yea when the guy doesn't respond.But, it gets easier with age when you get rejected.Then you get my age and sometimes you just don't care anymore.Really...When you are single you get set in your ways and you can't tolerate guys garbage anymore.I have never been married.My son's father was an Aries.He has passed in 2002.

  • Sandran712:

    Thanks for your input...

    I am just trying to figure out why would you check on someone time to time if you dont care about them? thats what he is been doing past month. either you like them or you dont..so if you dont then be a man and tell them,it will be over. its easier this way. when i tried to end it..he contacted me again....i am getting tired of this..

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