Why it is difficult to date a cancer?
saranee>>You are funny..:)
mine is 34...but you are right he sometimes makes me think otherwise lol
Sandran712>>As funny as this maturity thing is...It's true.I got that information from a licensed therapist.Men do not mature at the same level as women do.Women develop more maturity at a faster rate.Sorry guys..
Am mature cancer67 woman and because of my rising signs/sun signs & DOB am considered the most powerful alluring/ fun loving /caring cancercarian born to this sign. Of course with some of the same characteristic traits just not the clingy,depressing,emotional type.Our motto is : I FEEL, THERE FOR I AM. TRUST is the issue here ,gain that and you have a friend/partner for life.Cancercarians can intuitively call your bluff ,lie and we will see right through you, play games and you will lose.Anger us and you will see a fury like no other that will be mentally detrimental to your soul being(rarely happens).When out and about we are great people to be around, when we are not, best just to leave us be.Often confident and persuasive with a touch of mystery that surrounds us. ....................be back to finish later.
Thanks for replying my post...
"Cancercarians can intuitively call your bluff ,lie and we will see right through you, play games and you will lose....."
If you get a chance to read all the posts in this thread..one thing we all are talking about here why cancer plays games? what do you think about it?
I would love to know your opinion
"..A Cancer hides on the internet alot..He is probably feeling depressed.If I were you just stay invisible when you come online.That is out of sight out of mind.Also gives you some peace in knowing what he is doing.Now...If he spends a long time on the net he is hiding.And possibly depressed.For a short time and gets off line he is really depressed and hides offline entirely.You would only know this of how a Cancer behavior operates"
Sandran712-so you are saying he's not playing games but he's just depressed and doesn't want me to bother him? Well, it was Xmas and he's far from family in a foreign country, Brazil and Hong Kong are so completely different I can understand him being depressed.
I can tell he doesn't like communicating over the internet. He did for awhile but now he doesn't any more. I saw him for 2 days after 3 months and he was crabby because he was sick.
Saranee-even if he is acting the way he used to, just be aware that he can disappear again. Don'tcompletely fall for him and expect him to always text and contact you. I'm learning to be more emotionally detached. I'm going to be open to other men and dating others. See where it goes and if he disappears again and you can't stand that, then dump him, unless you don't mind the hot and cold thing.
Yeah, why do cancers play games, I want to know that too.
And if cancers feel so much why do they act like they don't? Sometimes I wonder if my cancer feels something other than physical attraction for me. He acts like it's all physical.
Hi again,plain and simple if cancer is interested in you, his/her biggest fear is "TRUST" play games with there emotions and they will retreat back into there shells until they feel brave enough to face up to what ever ails them in a relationship, much like the bull(taurus) who loves there own home and time alone, cancer is exactly the same only he/she won't mull over several choices of female/male partners he/she only needs one. In truth the game is that he/she is testing the water before diving in head first, and your the water sweetie and his/her shell is the safety net.Depending on his background whether he is raised in a loving caring enviroment his mother will be his rock
and if you have qualities such as hers he will want you to meet her.The disappearing acts, don't worry he's thinking solely about you and if he is worthy of you for we cancercarians are our own biggest critics
to the point of exhaustion(mentally) .
sorry did not read all posts only 1 or 2 an last post .
Tauraspart- how long do they test the waters? He's been testing mine since last March. As for his mother, she abandoned him when he was a teenager, and he feels bitter and hurt over this. He told me he didn't have any desire to get married ever because of the bad experience he had with his parent's divorce and he hardly speaks to his mother. How would that influence his relationships with women? He saids he's dated a lot of women but never has had a serious relationship, because there seems to be a wall around his heart (his words). Could focusing on the physical be his defense mechanism? How could I gain his trust without losing patience and going crazy loving someone who would not or cannot love me back?
I was attracted to the physical appearance of men back in the day, but am glad to say now its more who they are inside instead of the outside. Sorry cancers are critics the only way to get his mind of your body is to show intelligents as well ,not saying your not but it works.
sorry to hear,
be consistant with your feelings for him show him and tell him that your not like his mother or father whom ever hurt him the most. The best way to keep your cancer man is to be or do the opposite ,example: if your not getting it help yourself take control in that bed.If he is being distant go the other way do your own thing, he will love you back and follow you.
In general cancercarians are loving caring gentle souls and if hurt ,they will show signs of depression,anxiety and insecurity,you need to be mentally head strong, well grounded(feet firmly earthed) to a degree that you will most probably end up being there therapist,carer and saviour if you choose to stick around for the long haul.Like the brick wall around his heart you can hack at it bit by bit in this manner it will crumble keep him positive push him hard be that safety net for him.
luazinha>>>Sandran712-so you are saying he's not playing games but he's just depressed and doesn't want me to bother him?
Sandran712>>Most cases like you described the jumping back and forth online when they see someone else online is not really a game play issue.It is kinda like... .Cancer's like to think they are the only ones on the computer to be alone.I know it sounds ridiculous.But, that is how we think being online.So..if you made yourself invisible if you see him come online.Do you have a door close sound or open up on your buddy list?
Cancer's do play games it's true.But we are more apt to do this when we are not hurting.
Tauruspart-yes, i was planning to hack away at the wall around his heart bit by bit. I'm learning to be patient with him, and do my own thing while he is distant. In bed is the only place we seem to be completely in synch, he is very giving and affectionate. Everyone saids to ignore them when they disappear, but my cancer will disappear for days but as soon as I contact him he responds immediately unless he is actually flying (he's a commercial airline pilot) and if I let him be the one to contact me he seems to forget about me. He seems to respond better when I am not mushy or say things like "I miss you" although he used to be more affectionate and tell me he missed me, etc He stopped saying those things so I stopped too, because it makes me feel like an idiot.
Sandran712-I can get online appearing invisible. I did that for a long time because I had another guy bothering me. It's actually skype that lights up when he's online so he's talking or chatting with someone else, so it's not like he's being alone. He uses skype to talk to his father in Korea and and his friends and family in Brazil.When he is just online not using skype, nothng lights up. he used to chat and talk to me on skype a lot before but for some reason he doesn't any more. He used to contact me immediately when I came on line, but now he turns it off immediately when I come on line so I feel a little hurt by this. I think he was calling people on Christmas, but I feel a bit disappointed that he didn't call me. He texted me "Merry Christmas" and that was it.
luazinha>>He seems to respond better when I am not mushy or say things like "I miss you" although he used to be more affectionate and tell me he missed me, etc He stopped saying those things so I stopped too, because it makes me feel like an idiot.
Sandran712>>first..You're not an idiot.A Cancer is hard to deal with.As for the endearment thingies..miss you /love you.I do not like hearing them either.For some reason it just feels like a pressure tactic.Example..We do have feelings for these endearments.But,as long as the physical connection is not strong enough we just cannot accept hearing the words.Now this guy of yours has got to be totally stressed out.It is not uncommon to feel left out by a Cancer.It is like we are in high demand.My guess with you is that he called on family members first..And texted you so that he didn't want to leave you out.He probably does not know how to organize his time.And you said he is not passionate as much as he used to be.I know..from my own experience that stress on us is heavy.We get drained and alot of physical pain.Maybe the holidays for him flying combined with depression of not seeing his family sounds like he is burning the candles at both ends.Makes sense..you said you went to see him recently and he was under the weather.
luazinha>>How could I gain his trust without losing patience and going crazy loving someone who would not or cannot love me back?
Sandran712>>I forgot..How old is this guy?
Well..I know that it takes awhile to gain trust in a Cancer.Alot of communication helps this out.But, if he is breaking that barrier.There is not a whole lot you can do.It's a give and take.I am not sure that telling him you don't want to see him anymore would help.But,sometimes when Cancers feel those words they usually find ways of keeping you around.If they cared enough..You might get a response right away.Him being so far away it is hard having a relationship like this.And..he's probably feeling it too.Knowing his career keeps him from having a relationship.
cancer67 i agree, cancercarians need daily pampering ,they live for love and thrive on it , if he's emotionally unbalanced /another love interest for what ever reason he's pulling away from you , you need to confront him face to face asap,as hard as it will be for you separating might be the only option when cancercarians are depressed they will drain the life force out of you. Always consider
I started reading the first pages on this thread, and finally skipped to the end. What a depressing read! "All this "Can I make him love me?"
May I offer a piece of hard-won wisdom here?
First: don't get all hung up on a Sun Sign. Astrology can be a priceless tool in a relationship but you have to look at the WHOLE.
Whether we are talking about Cancer or any other sign, what you see in those first weeks is what you'll get in the long term.
If the Cancer you are setting your heart on is disappearing on you for days, he will do something like it later on. If he tells you he suffers from bouts of depression, do NOT think that your love will fix him. It won't. It's inside him. Run NOW, while you can.
Love may mask problems in the first heady flush of pheromone-driven romance, but sooner or later our true colours shine through. If the attachment doesn't just happen, stop wasting your time and look elsewhere.
Write down what it is that you love about this guy be profoundly honest with yourself when deliberating your answers weigh up the pros and cons you'll have your answer
ienvan>>Whether we are talking about Cancer or any other sign, what you see in those first weeks is what you'll get in the long term
Sandran712>>I beg to differ..It takes Cancer longer time to break through a trust.Three weeks is nothing for a Cancer to go on.It took me at least 4 years with the same person.In order to develop trust issues.And ..then I didn't go to the next step as I did not feel a marriage material coming through.I Never did get married even after 23 years.It just didn't feel right.So..This guy I spent all this time with passed away in 2002.And.It's been hard.The trust issue thingy has to start over from scratch with a new person.And with nothing around to delvelop feelings for isn't there then I guess nothing happens.
I beg to differ , upon one's experience judgement of one's opinion is often clouded by their own mishaps in life . You are in no condition to give advice due solely to your own misfortune in your own life, It is good that you have bounce back but you still hold resentment that is hidden from yourself and others.The fact that you have not re-engaged in another relationship after 23 yrs gives proof that you still hold a grudge or a candle for he/she whom left you or other.To give advice or guidance one has to be at peace with themselves and the universe I am cancer there for I am and i do feel. This is not an argument or a fetch for seniority these are real people seeking the best advice from those of us that care to help.You cannot alter my decision once made nor intervene which is that has been done ,but merely guide those through life's unforeseen to a place of reconcilable beliefs.
Don't worry, men are/can be weird anyway. The most important thing is self and your personal endeavors(school); you must focus on that. If he already has a friend in his life that wants more, that means that he's most likely involved with that person or has been involved with that person. We can not control anyone, their wants or actions even when they've told us one thing and instantly change to something else. Just ask the universe to comfort you and it will. Everything takes process and time.