Just say the ex gf this weekend. what should i do now??



  • Ok so i started writing on this site, im not sure prolly two months or so ago. Ive been doing fine......and many of you have given some great advice. Ive been moving with my life and having a great time doing so. This weekend however, its seems as though i just came around full circle again.

    I was at a bday party for one of my good friends. his finance is great friends with my ex. i didnt want to go to this party, so i told them i wouldnt go unless she doesnt go. the finance agreed not to invite her. Then come to find out she did anyway. The finance kept pushing for us to see each other. Now both me and my ex are going to be in their wedding in jan. But im not sure if the purpose of meeting was just for that or if there were more behind it.

    Long story short. I see her at this party but completely just shut her out and ignored her. I was just to hurt to see her or even be around her still. She looked beautiful though. I really wanted to talk to her. Now that this has happened........i want to start trying to talk to her again. Should i just continue moving on and just forget about the meeting??

    Also my friends finance said something along the lines of that the relationship i had with my ex was not serious at all. me and my ex were together for five years!! now should i look at what she said as coming from my ex?? or should i just take that as her own opinion on the matter?

    What else should i do here?? i come to realize that is still really love her and care about her. I honestly still can say that i want her back in my life?? any advice please would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

    Im an aries btw and she is a cancer.



  • You were right, there were more behind it.

    You should just forget about the meeting.

    What your friends finance said was her own opinion on the matter, but she is right with that, concerning your ex.

    You should leave. Drop your clinging and go on your way. You do not really want her back in your life, it is just a desire. First settle yourself, get more centered, and think about what is really important now for you. You see, you are an aries. For an aries having his will is most important. He is ready to go headlong through a wall, just for that what he wants. So it is very hard for an aries, when someone does not comply to what he wants. That´s why you want her back, just the normal stubborness of an aries. And she is cancer. That means, she is very touchy, sensitive. Just feeling your strong will about her is enough for her to go in a withdrawal.



  • What did you mean that there was more behind it?? can you explain that more?? i was thinking that the finance was planning something as far as trying to get us back together. Is that what you were hinting at or did i miss read that. see thats what i was thinking to that it was just my aries nature to go after something headstrong cuz i want it. But the thing is i havent gone after her this whole time. Ive been distant these past three months. I havent talked contact or seen her until this weekend.

    Honestly ive been working on myself this whole time. Ive made some great improvement. this was the first time in since the break up since ive actually thought bout her or even the idea of trying to contact her again.

    What do you think?? bad idea?



  • Yes, I think, it is obvious, that at least the finance was arranging for your meeting with your ex again.

    But the idea of trying to contact her again is a bad idea.

    Just your keeping yourself away made you again more attractive for her. So wait, be just friendly and let her the opportunity to take action towards you. I know, it is difficult for an aries, not to act when the impulse is there, but you should try.

    That does not mean that you have to pretend to be traditional, that would limit you too much.



  • Dear Imthedjone,

    This may be difficult for you to believe, but your ex said the words off the top of her head simply because she did not wish to discuss it. So, no need to stress out. She did not intend to imply more.

    If you can get to the point where friendship is genuine, and your concern for her welfare is equally genuine; it will be the kindest thing you can do for yourself.

    Since the marriage is over and there still exist unresolved issues between the two of you, the most you can hope for is a speaking relationship until such a time that the both of you are ready to be friends further down the road. Allow some time to pass for healing.

    Your life beckons forwards, not backwards.



  • @imthedjone

    From what you are saying it looks to me that your ex still has feeling for you. Otherwise her friends won't be trying to get you in the same place together and make you meet. If anything my friends are trying to keep me as far away as possible of meeting or stumbling upon my ex. If you both have to be at wedding it's one thing but there is no need to push into seeing each other elsewhere. So in my opinion your ex must've said something to her friend for her to ahead and sort of set you up like this. I hope this helps somehow!

    @hanswolfgang

    Hi i've been reading some of your posts and you give great advice to people. I think you can really give me some insight into my situation.

    I've been seeing this guy on/off for two years. We;ve been sort of together for the last six months. I always felt he is really special person in my life but i have no way of explaining why i have this gut feeling about him since we seem to be quite reserved and not even remotely as close as we could be. I also have the feeling that we might end up doing this on/off thing for a long time. Again no idea why i feel that way. I've never met anyone that i felt this way about before. Can you please give me some advice on what is the potential there if any? My dob is 12/06/84 and his dob is 29/05/86. Thanks!!



  • redgemini,

    there is no potential except trying to fit in a situation that would be difficult for you.



  • @hanswolfgang

    Thanks a lot for taking time to reply. Does that mean that what's happening between us just casual and does not mean much to him?

    I just want to ask one more thing.It's about my ex we broke up 6 months ago but we are trying to be friends again because we were very close. The problem is he hurt me alot and betrayed my trust, so can i trust him again?my dob 12/06/84 his is 11/04/85



  • It does man that that what's happening between you is just casual, but does mean much to him.

    You cannot trust your ex again.

    But you can be certain that you will be spending some time with someone you love.



  • @hanswolfgang

    I am quite confused that guy i'm seeing, that it is suppose to mean much to him, i feel is shutting me off. Haven't heard from him in 3 days. He is hot/cold all the time and doesn't make a proper move to open up to me ,it;s like we are standing on both sides of a door and we know that the other person is there but neither of us dares or is willing to open it. Whereas my ex, who although i am quite inclined to side with you for not trusting him again, he is the one reaching out and trying to be close to me again. At least there is some comfort in your last sentence i hope you are right because i feel quite lost at the moment.Thank you for your advice and hopefully things will unravel soon.


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