Captain..... Can you tell me what you think about my future....

  • Hi Captain,

    I am not sure I we have spoken before - I am trying to make sense of my life and am having trouble doing so..... I am doing all that I can to make my life that little bit easier (for want of a better word)... My relationship has broken down (even though I still love him with all that I am) family issues, and work issues... I keep trying but the harder I try the further things seem to be out of my reach - will I ever hold them in my hands and recognise the true beauty of what I have or will i forever see the beauty after the fact... am I destined to be alone forever - which is how i feel right now.....

    Blessings to you and yours...

  • I never know why people assume that becasue something happened in the past, it's always going to be like that. Why on earth would you think that you will never meet anyone else to love and who will love you just because you haven't met Mr. Right yet? Mind you, if you keep thinking negatively, it will happen. Expect nothing but the best and that is what you will get. At the moment, you are thinking that your life is a pile of dog doodoo and that is what you are attracting. And your ex was a smelly big mound of the stuff, all right.

    At the moment you are still in a love fog about this ex of yours. But be objective - he wasn't Mr. Right after all because he dumped you just like that for another woman. That's not love or even good manners. As you so abruptly found out, he wasn't the man of your dreams at all but someone from your nightmares. It wasn't the grand love that you fantasised it to be, but so what? You can't detach from him still because you are not just hoping he will come back, but that he will come back CHANGED into the perfect type of lover you yearn for. But that person doesn't exist. Even if the ex did come back because his other relationship broke up, he'd be doing the same thing to you all over again when another woman came along to take his fancy. That's the behaviour of a boy in a candy store, not a man.

    Face it - he's a deadbeat person, not your white knight. Thank your lucky stars you had a narrow escape from him. Imagine if you had gotten married and then he played around on you - that would have been far worse!

    You're still in a state of mourning over the 'death' of your dream. But once you stop mooning over how wonderful you thought he was and start seeing him as the dopey dude he really was, the easier it will be to get over him. This heartache of yours is ruining your whole life. Stop letting Mr. Deadbeat (as you should now think of him) distract you and go back to the strong efficient smart woman you used to be. When you think of or see the ex from now on, laugh and shake your head because you know his silly running around will never make him happy. Move on and go looking for someone better that you deserve - the minute you free yourself from thoughts of the ex, a new man will magically appear. When you are giving off happy satsified-with-your-life vibes, you will be very attractive to both employers, friends, and potential lover mates. And you will find that the whole of your life will improve.

  • Thanks I think that is just what I needed to hear.... I have been feeling that way sometimes but then others im just lost... How do I turn my thinking around when I am feeling like that though?? Do I just think of the ridiculous things he did or maybe I will just keep this and re-read it daily!!

  • Yeah that's the way - pull him off that pedestal you placed him on and place him back on earth. Then picture him like a smelly hairy old football and haul back your foot and kick him way over the fence. He's a loser for passing up a cool chick like yourself. Don't waste any more time on him. Think back on all the bad things he did to you and his awful habits that drove you crazy. No faster way to get over someone than to see them in the cold clear light of day. You'll realise how lucky you were to not get loaded with him. Pity the next poor woman who does!

    At least now you'll know what NOT to look for in a partner...:)

  • That is the thing tho - he showed me a side of him that i didn't know existed - but the thing was he couldn't keep it up all the time as it was all lies.... I think I really wanted to believe he was the person he was showing me he was... But at the end your right - he did drop me like a hotcake when he "hooked up" with this new chick - i mean we were friends until the day before he met her and then he just cast me aside..... That is what is so confusing i guess..... One day we were getting back together and the next he was being a P R I C K ! ! ! ! I think that is why I am having trouble letting it go.....

    Do you see anything happening with work???? Will I get permanent???

    Once work settles and I can budget again... Im sure that will help too...

  • I probably should add that I broke up with him after he spent months planning a holiday for me - when on holidays and COMPLETELY de-manned him in the process......... I think this and the fact he is turning 40 in 6 weeks is making him a little crazy atm..... lol i can be NASTY at times!!! all over a small thing that i usually would have overlooked.....

  • What happens with this man is that he moves on as soon as he thinks the woman he is with is starting to see through him and his lies. He panics at being found out as a fake and moves onto some other more 'innocent' victim. And so on and so on...

    You will become permanent in your work as soon as your employer sees that you are keeping it together and not looking as if you are on the verge of falling apart.

    But i can see from your later posts that you are coming together... healing.

  • Well the job is being offered to me i am pretty sure - it was mentioned yesterday and again today - so I am not sure that my inner self is showing - im pretty good at hiding my feelings 🙂

    I guess I am just having major realisations and talking to as many people as I can about it on here and in real life..... So that is helping....

    I am just sick of seeing "signs" that we are supposed to be together!!!!!! It is driving me crazy!!!

  • It's really hard for anyone to predict the future because people keep changing their direction. However, this guy would only be right for you if he had a major life shock that woke him up to how stupid he is behaving. And I feel he has a long way to go before that sort of light dawns.

  • And I am feeling you shouldn't take the first job offered to you but ask if there is something else with more responsibility. But only if you feel able to cope with it.

  • I would like a reading regarding anything in my life right now...

  • Please start your own thread, Sapphirediamond, by going to the Psychic section and clicking on the 'Create a new topic' button in the top right hand corner.

  • Yes captain i hear what you are saying.... there are a couple of niggling things about this job but it is mainly due to the ex being in such close proximity - but i shouldn't let that influence my career choices should i??? That is the main concern with this position - but I have friends and it is a fairly responsible job and quite demanding at times.. It is not what I usually do but I have welcomed the change... And I would have a LOT of opportunity to move around within the organisation (local govt) and it would be far more stable than my other career choices in other areas that are more effected by the GFC 🙂

    As for G - I totally agree that he needs to have some sort of major shock to wake up to his behaviour and change and I am not the person to help him I can see that.. Im still struggling with the "signs" tho.... It just seems to be in my face all the time and I don't know when I will be able to move on with the universe throwing these things at me all the time - am I missing something I am supposed to be learning from all of this??

    I completely understand how difficult it would be to predict the future and I think you have a wonderful talent for it 🙂 And I imagine it would take quite a bit out of you too! and to give it so freely - I feel truly grateful!!

  • The Universe is 'throwing' these signs in your face to make you use your intuition about G. When you are no longer affected by his presence or reminders of him, you know you will have successfully moved on from the situation.

  • ok i need to let that sink in a bit more......

    but my intuition tells me one thing and my mind tells me another - its like i "felt" him before he was even in my life... its weird and hard to explain - i used to dream about him before i even met him.... So its like my intuition is telling me he is the one... But my mind tells me he is bad news!!!!!! That is another confusing part... Maybe I should be listening to my mind on this one?!?!?!!!

  • After what I just heard - I am listening to my mind from now on!! I saw the old neighbour down the street just before and all i can say is i am so glad to be away from that it isn't funny 🙂 I just now need to stop loving such a douche!!!!

  • I really don't think it was your intuition telling you he was 'the one' - I think it was what you wanted to believe in your heart.

  • I was in denial about even being in a relationship with him for about 6 months - lying about who he was and where I met him etc to all my friends and family saying he was just a random I met in a pub one night.... So my head really didn't want to be with him at all... But something else inside me made me keep going back.... I don't know - I just really want to stop loving him...

  • Then maybe there is some part of you that wants to be treated badly - you need to find and eliminate that part of you. Is it that you don't think you deserve any better?

    Or else you have a fantasy that G. will somehow change and come back to you as the perfect lover. Of course he may change -- but just how long are you prepared to put your life on hold for that to happen? It could take years and years.

    Even all this talking about him is keeping him on your mind. Love is actually very simple. We fall in love with someone by focusing on them and thinking about them all the time. We fall out of love by not thinking about the person and finding other things to occupy our minds. I feel you haven't commited yourself to doing that. It's like you are thinking "I'll just keep myself busy with this-or-that until he comes back to me" instead of "I'm done with that rat. I'm going to throw myself back into life and the social scene so I can find another partner who will treat me far better."

  • Thanks for that... I went out and am moving on 🙂 Thanks for your help!!

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