ASCLAC part 3
katie>>Lua!!!!! girl are you by any chance around??? how is spain doing??? are they in or out???
Hey Katie, I fell asleep before the Spain vs Portugal game, after watching the most slow boring game between Japan and Paraguay.paragay won by Penalty kicks...if it weren't for hottie Roque Santa Cruz I don't think I would have watched it..but I woke up for the last 3 minutes, I also just watched the replay and yes, Spain made it to the Quater finals!! It was a hard game against Portugal. I like Portugal too but my best friend is half Spanish, she's for Spain all the way. If Paragauy plays like today then Spain will make it into the Semi finals no problem!!
Brazil vs Holland (sorry flow, Brazil is my team)
Uruguay vs Ghana
Argentina vs Germany
Spain vs Paraguay
Brazilians want to see Brazil vs Argentina for the final, just for the South American rivalry.
That Paraguay game was so boring I spent all night posting half naked pictures of soccer players on twitter, most of my followers are women, even the women that aren't into soccer loved it.. Crab didn't interfere because he was in Shanghai and he can;t get on twitter.
Katie, I can relate about going to a bar or place alone to watch the game. Here I am watching alone at home because the games are on from midnight to 7 am, and most of the bars here close at 1 am, and I don't know of any place showing the games because I don't think most people on this island are interested. In 2002 when they had the WC in Japan and Korea there was a bar here showiing the games but not too many people were there, just some Koreans but afte rSouth Korea got out there wasn't anyone..just me and my girl friend, she lived here then, I think people who like football are watching at home, but no one I know is interested enough to stay up all night. I'm just crazy, haha.
In 1998 I was visiting my brother in San Francisco, I actually went to a Brazilian Bar to watch the Final between Brazil and France and met some Brazilians and Mexicans there, it was fun even though Brazil lost (by penalty kick). Brazilians had an after party afterwards even though they lost.
Moon-Squats are not the best exercises to lift your a$$. They are better at tonng your thighs. Lunges are better for your glutes. Do 100 walking lunges with each leg, which means 200, no weghts. You'll wake up with your buns in pain the next morning, that means you worked them. Also very low lunges..going up the stairs skipping one step and holding a lunge for 3-5 secs also does the job. if you are going to do squats, do plie squats or sumo squats. Legs wide, with your feet turned out in ballet second postion. As you come up squeeze the glute muscles. Do 4 sets of 25. if your buns don't hurt the next morning, you didn't do enough.
If you do treadmill, do 10-15% incline, if not, go walk some very steep hills.
Kel, nice to know my fitness advice helps.. I'm also shifting into lean out mode, I gotta get ripped!!
katie-you were talking about wishing your crab a happy birthday. Did you find out his birthday? Or are you still just guessing? My crab's birthday is coming up, he's turning 34 just like yours. I think I will wish him a Happy Birthday, he's been trying so hard to get my attention lately. I don't think it would hurt. I'm not sending him any packages or any special emails though. I got 12 emails from him the other day. He still hasn't sent the package, he just saids he now has a lot of things to send me.
BTW moon, I may do the local competition here just to make the judges sick of me, that is Sept 25th. now I need to lose about 6 to 8 pounds but has to be all fat while keeping my muscle so i can get shredded. I need to get my body fat down to about 12 %. Time to start my strict diet and training.
I had an epiphany while running today...
I realize that the more I reconnect with myself, the stronger I build my relationship with myself, the better I feel about EVERYTHING! It's an amazing sense of strength
The lying that Aries did, really caught me offguard and knocked me on my a*ss...and caused me to lose that connection with myself, I began to feel unimportant, I lost my self-confidence. I got overrun with jealousy and started to play head games. I even said some pretty nasty things to him
But I started taking time for myself, rediscovering some of the things about my life and myself that I really love, it was almost like a breakup, in terms of rebuilding myself
If I didn't, then I woudl still be struggling and letting all my emotions and insecurities run my life. Looking back on past relationships, not having a good realtionship with myself first really did a lot of damage and is one of the main reasons for my hot/cold behavior.
Why are we crabs so afraid of being hurt? When I stepped back and looked more large scale, I couldn't figure it out. If you have a great relationship with yourself and are confident in yourself, we shouldn't be afraid of being hurt because in the end we know who we are and can pick ourselves back up no matter what happens and keep moving forward. No one can stop us but ourselves.
So in the end, we can't be afraid of loving, no matter how big the hurt. And when we remove this fear, we can begin to love 100%, removing this fear also begins to dissolve a lot of the insecurities we deal with...
And I feel that I am in a place that I can forgive Aries, forgive Scorp, forgive Libra for all the hurt; carrying around anger and malice is so draining...
Even though I would more than love to marry Aries and have baby rams and crabs, I will not take unacceptable treatment from him. All the things I want out of life, I can give myself, but I choose to have Aries in my life. And I will choose to treat him right - without being motivated by fear or insecurity, but by through unconditional love. And I will choose to accept or not accept his treatment of me.
The only way to break these bad cycles we find ourselves constantly falling through is through self love
::Steps off soap box:: lol
I wonder if this is what I was meant to learn from the last eclipse...
Thanks for reading all my crazy philosophical ramblings lol I'll respond in a lil bit, have to get some work done and writing all this down just sucked up all ym brain power
hey all...I'm here, and still haven't had time to catch up...
been thinking about HIM a lot...just don't want to talk about it because it will make it worse. I'm doing what Kel told me to do and I'm trying to PUSH him out of my head. but when I lay down to sleep or when I have down time, he creeps into my brain and dances around in there. lol
I always hate watching fireworks alone. I haven't had a honey to cuddle with under the night sky in a very long time. I know I'll be spending time with friends and family...but it's hard when you're surrounded by couples, and you're the only one alone...sigh...here's to another year alone...
I'm having kind of a lonley day...
I hope all is well with everyone else. I'm sorry I haven't been responding properly...I've just been busy...and when I get home, I work out or watch TV so I don't have to think...I feel like if I sit on the computer and try to reply to anything, thoughts of my crab will come back and I just don't want to think about it...
I read what TheCaptain wrote to me a few weeks ago...how I'm living in a fantasy world and how I want a "perfect relationship" and not just my crab...I dont know...he's still in my heart...and yes I still think about how our relationship could be...but seirously...this is getting out of hand...I need to constantly keep my mind occupied...maybe I should get a therapist...?
sounds to me like you still have strong feelings for him. and there is nothing wrong with that.
have you run into him anywhere or know what he is up to?
i have been seeing therapist for years over my scorp and to be really honest with you i dont think it has made too much difference except taught me to hang in there and not give up if my feelings are still strong. it is a journey and at the end of the day you are the only one on it. as for what the captain said, well it could be true.. does it resonate with you? fantasy.. well maybe i am in that place too.. but we can all create that out of fear of true intimacy. fantasy is safe and its risk and pain free. i tend to like it very much, but i know i still want the real thing and i have fears that it is just impossible. the longer that we live in our fears and safety of fantasy the longer we wont know. its so f.ucking hard and painful i know. it comes with being a sensitive person as well and looking at the bigger picture and questioning societies rules.
there are so many lonely people in this world.. just look at the internet.it is really sad. but at least we are still communicating. i also know the feeling of feeling surrounded by couples and being the only one alone. its winter here and i would love to cuddle up with scorp.
i think you need to talk to him. find out what he feels. easier said than done. look at me i feel like i am paralysed.. you will be ok though. listen to the wisdom of your heart . big hug x
thankyou for posting that. wise words. it is true only when i feel self love can i receive it. and by releasing fears to open up to it. love those epiphanys! knew those sneakers were special!
you tapped into a universal love today i think and experienced SURRENDER.
THAT is the place where love happens. its a total acceptance of self and of the other.
you're gorgeous. i love your outlook on life.
im off to land of dreams . gdnite x
When you lean out, do you reduce your calories? Or just switch to a less carb intense diet?
Would the bum exercises that you recommended to moon work for me too? I feel like my as*s is HUGE! lol but when i flex it and try to pinch, i can't grab anything, so maybe it's mostly muscle? i do have 1 day/week that i do legs at the gym and i do deep squats with a lot of weight on my shoulders
you got 12 emails from your crab? holy cra*p! what is going on with him?
Yea SV doesnt sound too healthy what you're doing to yourself. I wonder if there's something larger going on here...you fantasize about what could have been, but why do you do this? What is it inside of you that's causing you to miss what could have been and preventing you from finding someonen who will give you your fantasy?
"if you were him (crab), you wouldn't have left me like that in the first place. LOL "
LOL! you are so right, i would at least sent a text message at the minimum saying "we're over" or something like that
"i don't wanna wish him happy birthday as a tactical move that he might react in some ways on it. i don't want any misery to start again. so this is really ONLY about wishing happy birthday."
Exactly, it's not a tactical move. You're wishing him a happy b-day out of the goodness of your heart
Running went great! I love my new sneakers
I am so bad, i drink red wine and coffee and tea lol So I constantly have ot do maintenance to keep them white
No word from Scorp.
Meeting with the parents didn't happen last weekend, but we're shooting for this weekend
We did finish painting the room! wahoo! But yea we did manage to squeeze in other activities...lol
"I wonder if MY scorp @-hole will be sending me a b-day email for my b-day on Friday???.... that I will be going to ignore if he does... lol..."
Yea those sneakers are made to feel like barefoot running. They are amazing!!!! They feel great, do you run often?
I totally went shirtless this mornign running around lol!!! It's nice to strut your stuff every once in a while
" i love your outlook on life."
I have all of you to thank, you all helped me see the light!
How cold does it get in the winter? Does it snow at all? In what general area of Australia do you live?
i don't know much about Aus. but isn't like the center all desert where the aboriginals live?
I had some friends that studied abroad in Sydney i think and they would tell me bits and pieces of info, maybe I should have listened more closely lol
Kel-if you can't pinch anything, that is solid glute muscle!! Nothing wrong with a booty on a man if it's all muscle! If you think it's huge maybe you need to build other parts your body to create symmetry, like broaden your shoulders, build your chest, etc. I am very short and have a big bum so I started building my upper body and especially my shoulders so my waist will look smaller. Those exercises will work for you too, but if your glutes are hard already you don't have to do them. But deep squats with weight will build your quads as well.
When I am building muscle I eat a surplus, for example my maintainence is about 1700 calories so when i am trying to put on weght I eat about 20% more, as in 2060 calories, when i am leaning out I eat about 15- 20% less, or about 1350-1450 calories, Actually I do what is call carb and calorie cycling, I go down to 1450 calories for 3 days then do one dy high, about 1700-1800.
Yeah, my crab sent me 12 emails two days ago, but I was ignoring hm for awhile and then he sent me a messge on twitter, even a few private messages, 2 days ago after the Argentina vs mexico game I was tweeting about the game joking around, it was 6;30 am here and 4:30 am in HK and he messages me "It's late, go to bed!" He saw my messages on twitter. he had never private messaged me on twitter before, So I did reply, saying "Hey, you are up too, why are you telling me to go to bed?" He answers back "It's 4;30 am here in HK, Argentina won! tomorrow I am going to Shanghai in time to catch Brazil play"
I guess he felt ignored because I was having fun watching the game and interacting with other people about it? The next day he also messaged me about some comment I made on twitter. He also mentioned again that he has a lot of things to send me (package) but hasn't sent it yet.I am still not reading into this as anything beyond him wanting to send me stuff because I'm his friend.
I 'll probably wish him a happy birthday, especially if Brazil wins the world cup -last day of finals is his birthday. When is your birthday Kel? Is it this Friday or next?
I sent Aries flowers today at work as a thanks for helping me this weekend with the painting and I wrote a really sweet note and he loved it. But I think he also loves the attention he got at work from all the women and he posted a picture of it on facebook and people were commenting on it
So those of you with Aries experience, Aries really like attention right? I hope so, I tried ot send him something sweet that would cause him to be in the limelight for a little bit
So I'm going to lean out and see if it shrinks my bum a little bit. Good to know that it's muscle though and that I don't need to do any additional work lol If I still don't like hwo it looks I think I'm going to do what you said and build up my shoulders, I think my chest is ok, but I'll try and get that bigger too.
So for shoulders when I want to beef them up, which works better: using heavier weight with my normal routine or adding a few more shoulder exercises on shoulder/triceps-day?
I should cut down my diet too, I'm at like 3000-3300 a day, so I'll bump that down. I'm worried about losing the muscle mass that I worked so hard to get lol
My bday is the 11th, but I'll prob be going out next friday bar hopping or something to celebrate
So now to your crab. I'm really happy that you've chosen to observe his behavior (I remember you said you did marine biology work lol observing the elusive cranky-crab lol). Ugh I could see how what he's doing would drive a person up the wall! But you're watching from a safe distance, good, you'll keep your sanity.
Any idea what he's going to send you? I'm curious to know what he'll send, it will say a lot about what's going on in his head.
I think it's a good idea to wish him a happy bday
pic of the flowers...
kel- I think I'm just having an off day...I've been pretty positive...I just feel down today...and when I think about him it's hard. he's in my heart and I just have to move on.
that tarot reading I got done on the tarot thread didn't help because she said that a man with a "water sign" would come to me around the end of the year/beginning of next year, which she assumes is my cancer boy. she said that he'll pop into my life, and then leave....and then come back again after "maturing" some...
so pretty much...theCaptain told me to get over him and the tarot reading is telling me he's coming back...CONFUSION!!! lol
i'm just taking everything in stride...I went out to lunch with some of the girls and I'm feeling a little better...
the weather is also gloomy outside. I'm usually in a GREAT mood when the weather is gloomy and rainy....but this time I'm just not...
however, I've always sort of lived in a fantasy world...where I DO want the perfect relationship...is there anyone(any GIRL) who doesn't do this? He's just on my mind...
just to give me a little justification...I had a REALLY dirty dream about Drake last night!! LOL
so all in all...I think I'm just down...he's still on my mind, but I'm definitely doing better than like a month ago....
maybe there is some underlying issue...commitment, trust, security, abandonment....but for now...no one new has come into my life. I'm still going out and making myself "available....but according to theCaptain AND the tarot reader...there's no one coming into my life in the next six months...but I'm not going to put all faith into it...like I said, I'm still making myself available...and of COURSE I'll go out on a date if someone asks me...cause you never know!
see! I'm still positive! LOL
BEAUTIFUL flowers by the way....so jealous!
Do you do positive affirmations at all?
Every morning on my ride to work, I say to myself about 8-10 times
"It sure feels great to be wealthy, healthy and happy"
When i say wealthy, i picture a green globe of energy around me with dollar signs floating towards me, when i say healthy i picture white energy around me with me being active and having big muscles and for happy i picture yellow energy and a big smiley face lol
I started saying this to myself back in December, I say it everyday and i say it outloud, this is important that you say it out loud to yourself.
It took a while, maybe about a month or so, but things started to change for me. It's like "The Secret" or law of attraction. Because i said it outloud to myself, I began to believe it and began to attract the energies
I know, it sounds pretty ridiculous lol but worth a shot, no?
Also what helped was i completely pushed the idea of having a relationship out of my head, I told myself that i was going to be single for the next year and work on myself, things really took off after that and a month later Aries fell out of the sky.
You have to break yourself out of the mindset that finding someone new will make you forget crabby, but instead look at this as an opportunity to find yourself
But I'm happy that you're staying positive and making progress
I don't know if really relying on what thecaptain or the tarot reading said will really help you.
Some time has passed, crabby hasn't come back, put him to rest and focus on your own life. Someone will find you and it will be when you're least expecting it
I was reading an article in Time magazine yesterday while I was helping my bff Aqua-chick pick out wedding dresses, it was about the new book by the Dalai Lama...I think I'm going to read it, I have no idea what the title is lol but I'm just going to wander into a bookstore and I'm sure any book by him will be worth it
D*amn I'm preachy lately lol sorry haha
Kel/SV>> just popping in for a moment and Kel's line got my attention about positive affirmation. i don't think Kel that it sounds stupid or weird.
you know how i get closure or solve a lot of emotional problems with myself? in situations when i can't talk to the person i have the problem with (like crab) i play out the situations with myself. yes, sounds insane or lunatic, but i sit in my apartment and i start to have a conversation LOUD like crab would be sitting there with me.
well not a conversation, a monologue (convo would really sound insane LOL).
and in this monologue i tell everything how i feel about the situation. and when im done, i feel better.
i also play it out in different ways depending on my mood. like sometimes angry and just sending him to h-ell, sometimes understanding, sometimes really putting him down totally and feeling pity for him... for me it really DOES work.
ok guys, im gone now, watching How I Met Your Mother. LOL i'm gonna answer all the rest tomorrow morning.
ps to SV: no SV, i dont think you need therapy, you need time. everything needs time and with everyone the amount of needed time is different. you will be over it.
ps to Kel>>Kel send me a guy who sends me flowers like that pleaseeee... pretty pleaseee with sugar on top!!! LOL