ASCLAC part 3
have you heard of "Eureka" ? It's a show on the syfy network here in the States. It's a really cute show, uses a lot of science n junk you might like it
Kel>>I've seen some episodes of Dexter...I LOVE THAT SHOW!!! lol I don't have showtime though I bought the first season and put it on my ipod, blasted through it in a few days, it was amazing
Listen to your gut...if your Cancer is involved with another girl, I wouldn't send the text, it's only going to make things messier or it's just going to get you hurt or both, probably both.
SV>>OMGGGG KEL!!! I LOOOOOVE DEXTER!!! I actually use “Instant NetFlix” on my DVD player and DL’d the 1st and 2nd season. I’ve got the 3rd season coming in the mail soon since that’s not on the instant play. I’m so excited! That show is ADDICTING!! Michael C. Hall is AMAZING!
Kel, now you know why I hesitated for over a week about whether or not to send my crab a text telling him how I feel. My GUT told me not to..my GUT told me that he won’t look at it, respond to it, or even care. It’s sad…but at least I’ve made the right decision and I’ve prevented myself from getting SOOOOOO hurt and making things way messier since we have the same group of friends. The reason why I asked The Captain to tell me if she knew how he felt is because deep down inside, I knew that if I poured out my feelings for this guy, and then he doesn’t respond, I would have to face him again. I would see him again, and he would know how I felt, and it would get SO uncomfortable. Jeez….I just don’t understand why things have to be so hard…I mean seriously…
Katie>> i understand you are afraid. but can i ask you something? do you think it can still hurt more than how it is hurting now already? what difference does it make whether he knows what you feel or not? i mean from your point of view? is admitting that you like someone a shame? is it something to feel bad for? liking/loving someone is the most beautiful think in the world (mostly at least), so why not tell him?
i did tell crab, look at me... do i feel worse? nooooo. actually and really honestly i feel way better, like a huge burden that i carried around for months is off my shoulder... now it is on his shoulder to carry... and i am free... but of course we are different people, i just wanted to tell you my thoughts. you do what's best for you!
SV>>I guess it has a lot to do with insecurity…it also has a lot to do with saving face. Unfortunately, scorps have a lot of that in common…we don’t want to show emotion, don’t want to show feelings because we want to kind of save face. Especially if we’re the first ones that have to do it. you asked me what difference does it make if he knew…if he knew, and I had to face him again when I go up to the restaurant, it’s going to be soooo uncomfortable. He will know how I feel about him, and not feel the same way about me, and we’ll have to tip toe around eachother. Liking/loving someone IS the most beautiful feeling in the world…but only if the feeling is mutual. If it’s one sided, it gets enormously complicated. If I ever, EVERRRR start talking to him again, I will probably pour my heart out because it’s been held inside me for soo long. But even, then, I’ll still be guarded and have to force myself to open up. You’re right…it is like a huge burden being carried around for months…and how I longggg for it to go away…but not now…it’s just going to make things worse…if he’s with someone else, well then good for him…unfortunately, that’s just how it’s going to be. I have to watch from the sidelines…
I wish I knew what else to do. I wish someone new would come into my life and sweep me off my feet…literally! LOL
Katie>>oh and is Grey's Anatomy good? now peeps, dont throw rocks at me... but that is one serie i never watched. but i just might....
SV>>Grey’s is AWESOME too..it’s a drama, but it’s got a lot of sensitive parts to it too. I cry a lot of the time when patients die, or there are major complications, etc. the usual…lol
Katie>>ohhhh and i LOVE DEXTER! and that guy plays so amazing in 6 Feet Under!!!!!!!!! that was an awsome show too.
guys, anyone wanna suggest me some good serie? i am a serie freak!!! LOL
SV>>Michael C. Hall is in 6 feet under??? I didn’t know that! Gotta start watching that too! I like watching Nip/Tuck cause I’m a weirdo, and it’s so scandalous!! Lately, it’s gotten REALLY weird though…didn’t watch the last season, but I’ve DVR’d it so it’s next on my list to catch up with. I also LOOOOVE Weeds!! It’s another Showtime show and it’s GREAT!! It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is HILARIOUS!!! You might like that one too. Um, there’s also True Blood(which I’ve heard is good, I personally don’t watch it). Entourage and Curb Your Enthusiasm are both REALLY funny too. What are you into?
Kel! I used to watch Eureka all the time! I somehow dropped it but it was good for the time I watched it! is it still on or is it just re-runs on Syfy?
Kel>> no havent watched Eureka, but i write it down and check it out.
on the other note: this is what i tell you... i KNOW that he wont say sorry and that's fine that way. the games you mention sound fun, but not for me, as i love him. and if i love someone i might stay away and dont beg, but i definitely wont hurt him or play with him, since revenge never made me happy and cause i have pretty high values/expectations towards myself. you know... i believe in karma.
IF we ever meet again, or if he cant stand and starts some excuse conversation over e-mail i will respond and i will be normal/nice... as that is my nature... and if he wants to see me again, i might see him again... but with very slow steps and with expecations that he cant avoid, and then he can choose to run again or say something. but these last things are big IF's and right now i am not obsessing about it or not thinking about it at all.
SV>> if it is not just being afraid, but GUT feeling then listen to it. i so many times should have listened to my GUT feeling... i wouldnt have gone through so much suffering.
i will definitely check out Grey's Anatomy. and YES Michael C. Hall is in 6 Feet Under... anyways if you are a WEIRDO 6 Feet Under is your show. LOL i was totally in love with it and the end... wow, one of my most shocking series endings...
my ex used to love Nip/Tuck and i always wanted to check it out. the other too i havent even heard about.
what i am into? oh gosh almost everything. i watched Gilmore Girls and Dawson's Creek. i watched Lost, X-Files, 6 Feet Under, Alias.
recently i really loved FlashForward (how could they cancel the second season???), V and I AM IN LOVE WITH FRINGE BIG TIME.
dont know, i love weird stuff a LOT. True Blood seen the first season didnt like it that much. Dexter i think i've seen the first two seasons.
ohhh then Lie To Me ive seen some parts. pretty good.
Hi hunni - how you feeling?
Gaga episode airs this week - sooo looking forward to it. That show is so cheesy but I love it!!!
I loved Flash Forward, Six feet under and Greys anatomy. I also love the detective stuff - CSI, NCIS, and Numbers. Gutted that they axed Flash Forward. Had a crush on Jack Davenport (Lloyd) since he did a series here a long time ago called This Life, before he became famous in the Pirates of the Carribean movies.lol.
I was hooked on Heroes too, got a bit strange towards the end but I loved the first series. They are running an American show here called Warehouse 13, getting quite into that - X files meets Indiana Jones.lol.
Seems every American series I start to follow doesn't seem to get beyond the 1st series. I watched a series called Surface, and another called Invasion (with the gorgeous Eddie Cibrian. YUM!) Axed! Warehouse 13 will prob go the same way.
And finally, if you want a good cry - watch "Ghost Whisperer". I need a box of tissues every time I watch.lol.
I hope that you don't think I was being harsh. If I was I didn't mean to be.
For weeks I have watched as you and Scorp have gone round in circles. You tell him how hurt you are, he comes back to you and tells you how bad he feels, you tell him, "No you are not a bad person, you are great" - you are making him feel better about himself, pandering to his ego, you reply as if nothing has happened, joking about work, everyday happenings, and you are giving him the impression that you can be his friend.
And you can't. It hurts you too much, you tie yourself in knots, analysing every word he sends, looking for clues. You are driving yourself nuts!! You are exhausting yourself, not looking after you - and you are the most important person in your life. NOT HIM!
If you only respond with a short reply, nothing personal when he contacts you, then he will get the message that you cannot be "personal" with him. You have already told him how he has hurt you, let it sink in that you mean it. Let him find out how much he misses the friendly banter, how much he misses you being around. Let him know that he only gets the "business you".
I would love you to give yourself a break - break out of the cycle and look after you. Put you first. Believe that he is your guy, as we all do, and concentrate on you. Make yourself stronger, so when he comes back around later, when he is sorted, you will be back to your best and able to relax and enjoy your relationship. Try to enjoy your free time, and try to get some sleep!!!! mwah.xxxx
I know your Cancer hasn't been around, but are you certain that he has someone else? How can you know for sure? Do you think your mutual friends from the restaurant would tell you - set your mind at rest one way or the other? Imagination is a wonderful thing - but not when you use it against yourself. I know I have imagined all sorts of things that turn out not to be true. Don't make yourself miserable unnecessarily.
Another saying for ya.lol. "Change the things you can, and don't worry about the things you cant"
Makes sense - why waste time worrying over things you can't change. They are going to happen anyway.
Hi to everyone else I missed.
Weekend again folks - yay!! Have a good one. xxxx
So you’re planning to hop on that plane to go to Uruguay...okay...lol
Anywhere warmer than Europe is good in my books. lol
My performance is in September and I haven’t seen the little kid singing Paparazzi. I am swamped...I try to keep some kind of regular pace in what I do and try not to get toooooo distracted.
This month seems to be a good one in many ways for lots of the zodiac signs. Only thing is that lunar eclipse on the 26th can go either way for anyone. I need to read up to understand it fully.
But enjoy your month. Remember to read your sun AND your rising.
Mine looks pretty good. Let’s see what the month will bring.
You hesitate too much. So you missed a chance I think...well Captain said you did. Sometime you got to get over your fear and act. * big hug*
I think I mentioned this before but my dad b-day was also the 2nd of Nov. My dear uncle is on the 1st.
Hey hun keep the vitamins coming...to get better and after work straight to your bed.
“But how cruel is that? “
Well we both now that some Scorps are just immature to fez up to true feelings...but there is always two sides to a story. Well Aries found you now...and that is what counts. Forget the past as much as possible and enjoy now.
“I am soooo getting Flowsco to dance on the beach with us in Bora Bora lol “
Uhmmm does that mean that you got the job? And what kind of dance I will have to be performing. SV is the belly dancer here...lol.
Welcome to the thread...I hope the others can assist you.
Have a great weekend.
You forgot to write what ASCLAC means but oh well.
I also saw SITC and found it tad long too yet I agree it could of gone on a bit longer. Especially when my girl Samantha finally got her groove on.
“As for Libra guy…. Soooo have you heard anything from that Pisces moon impatient man??? ..lol..“
Sometimes I see some of that impatient attitude but he is mostly under control. And we talk nearly every night. I am not overdoing it. But it’s nice for now.
The first date might take some time (I think) that it will happen. Concert time has started up and he already told me of the many booking that he has. I think I posted to someone about a wedding gig he had this week. I have some options but it depends on what he is doing so we will see.
I adore Anita Baker very hard to imitate and so I am challenging myself. I have been listening to her other songs just in case I can’t swing this song totally as it should be.
Uhmm I am not a Whitney fan...never been. Some song are aight but that’s about it. I wouldn’t play her day in and day out.
“ Wow, you come from a musical family! you’re cousin is going to sing at the same venue as Michael Bolton & Chaka Khan??? I love “through the fire” soooo much. OMG and Michael Bolton…. LOVE HIM!“
Yep...we got a few in the family that are either vocally or instrumentally active in the music scene. This cousin is really talented and I haven’t heard her sing in a while. Last time was at family gathering where she got super emotional. Yeah she got a break for both these gig so I am super curious in what role she will be on that stage. Getting my tickets next week. She was unable to get us some free admissions. I will be checking her out at Chaka Khan’s. Michael Bolton I will be skipping...lol. My sis might do both.
Happy to hear that your little guy is recovering fine.
“Can't bug lil bro too much anymore... his plate has just gotten a HUGE heap of Stress right on the top. Gotta give the kid a break for a while “
How he and his wife are is doing now? Pregnancy okay?
I read what Lolpet wrote to you about you not being strong enough to be in the line of sight. I think you are but you are just stubborn and want to push and tug just to have any reaction out of him. And you have been lucky enough that he has been talking to you. So to answer Lolpet you make it appear that you can’t.
Yet you took matters in your own hands and I hope this will be the end of it for now. Remember you mapped out the direction now so be up to everything else that might come your way. And no I have no idea what this time around.
Okay. Girl you actually managed to baffle me with your analogy about me and Libra.
The example wasn’t really personally fitted but as a general description about Librans indecision....well so I was told.
“ Now, your Libra... the ice cream thing... hmmm.... I dunno about that analogy.... I could be wrong and please don't be mad at me but I think it's more like...“
Not mad at all but pleasantly surprised.
“I think he has grown up in his emotional life, so to say, and knows what it feels like to be hurt and just maybe... before he jumps... knowing you a bit better then you think he does... he may not be saying it... he's not 100% and does not want to risk unecessary pain/drama/stress to you or him.“
Well this is an interesting thought...really...I have been pondering and digesting the last couple of days from the different convo’s we have had and you might have a point here. Yep...you might have that right.
“So to me.... you're a book. Not ice cream. “
Too bad...lol...I know a bunch of things I could have done if I was ice cream to him...LOL
“He knows you're the real deal like a book to keep... not a magazine he'll read and then toss away waiting for the next issue... “
“So yes, a book. He's just deciding if he wants to buy the book.... (make you "his" in a non-scorp nobody owns you kinda way ..lol.. or read the magizine (still play the field) and watch the movie (aka just stay friends). “
Deliberating his option...yup...that is pretty much what is going on for both of us. Evaluation is doing its thing big time the last couple of days. Makes things a bit clearer and then a bit fuzzier...depending what is being discussed. Every night when I go to bed I got more to think about and try to figure out what it all means. Not bad but it’s just a lot. So my head is swamped but in a good way what he is concerned.
“sorta like the icecream.... but a little different. You are in NO WAY a flavor among many choices.... You my darling are not even in the same class of dessert! “
OMG...here is where you caught me. Thank you very very much for this compliment. I hope he shares your thoughts about this like you do. hugs
Night all....take care.
flow>>You hesitate too much. So you missed a chance I think...well Captain said you did. Sometime you got to get over your fear and act. * big hug*
I think I mentioned this before but my dad b-day was also the 2nd of Nov. My dear uncle is on the 1st.
SV>>you think so? she just said that he is involved with someone else. she didn't say that i missed my chance. I'm sure that he wouldn't have gotten involved with someone in a week (or four days)...do you? plus, why would she tell me one thing one day and then another thing another day? i'm a little confused....
"Ok, I can't sleep. It a beautiful day, I'm off, my kids are in school it's my time to "rest" and I can't.
All I keep thinking is how beautiful it is out, how Scorp does not have his kids this weekend & how I know he's not sitting home... alone.
I can't put myself through this.
I can't be friends.
Flow, I added your cute giggle line as I thought it was just so me (I don't know if that's why you wrote it that way & I made it the "PS".
And I've slep on it.... and now, I am sending it off. I need to keep my head clear.
It's not about what's good for Scorp it's about what keeps me happy, on my diet, lets me sleep.... you get the idea.
Wish me luck peeps!!!!! "
Moon- I am in the same boat... sometimes I hate when there is nice days cause I miss scorp : ( I completly understand : )
Katie- almost a year... dated for 8 months and were "talking" before that. Us aqua girls aren't much for all the intensity yet we get sucked into it lol...
Birdbee- Im an aqua too with a cancer brother so I can try and help with any questions about thier traits.. welcome tho!
Sorry, guys I know its long... too long...it'll be the last book I ever write. I just need your help.
I'm going to try to take a crack at your story, I copied and pasted the important parts of your story...
" I made the mistake of talking to him about the relationship... I just wanted to know where we were with each other... he didnt respond and in that same weekend he said that I cut into his work week when I stay later than the weekend"
You caught him off guard here, he said that you cut into his work week because you got him all confused, he needed time to himself to think. This is what we call the "crab pinch" lol he pinched you
"I told him a friends house... he acted like his feelings were hurt...in actuality... I was trying to play hard to get because of what had happened the weekend before"
" acknowleged me at least and then I acted like he wasnt there... left without saying goodbye....didnt talk to him for the rest of the weekend until Sunday night. "
Here's where you went really wrong...don't play games with a crab. Once you start down that path, it's a never-ending battle. You start playing games with us, we ALWAYS play back. We forget NOTHING and will always pinch you back. We are super sensitive, so when we feel the slightest bit of pain, we retreat and pinch
"why is he so insecure.? "
This is just how we are. We're so afraid to let anyone into our shell, we're so afraid of being hurt because we hurt DEEP. Wounds run very deep because we're so emotional and sensitive, so only allow a very special person into our shell and only after we've tested them a thousand times to make sure they won't hurt us.
"He also threw in that he wished that I would pick up the phone and call himm everyonce in awhile... "
He really meant this...
My advice? If you want this man...CALL HIM!
You met his family so he's totally into you, we don't let just anyone meet our family, family is so important to us
I'm going to bed, still sick
I'll catch up with everyone else tomorrowwwwww
Kelcrab... thank you. You are the only one who has told me to call him. Everyone else has told me not to because I'll just be disappointed. Ive felt the urge but didn't know about the time and space comment. THank You.
Feel better kel. Robotussin makes a great honey cough medicine OTC. I know you have an Rx but this is a great throat soother.
Ok everybody... I have to post again before I burst! then as usual I'll go back and read... and cut... and paste.... lol.. Lua- yes, ok, give me a sec b4 I burst!!!!!
Ok so I emailed scorp and told him I can't be friends and this set off an all out email moved to telephone argument!
How it ended was Scorp telling me he wants to see all the women he wants with no commitments at all and no mind games.... and I told him I'm not some $h!tty consolation prize.... it was NOT good....
but you see... I am a Cancer.... and WE ARE the Kings and Queens of manipulation.... emotional manipulation... not proud of it... but we are...
So I started to think.... and I decided to play scorps game. My brother said he's proud of me. He said that it was actually just like meeting somebody new and dating them.
When you first meet them you don't know if you're the only woman... only time tells that. He also told me I'm going to turn scorp into one jealous man.... (but I wont)... but he said it will just happen (I hope not).
this is what I told Scorp... over an email...
That I may be interested in his game... but I have some questions/rules first...
(1) first and formost business is business and just to be certain the lines dont get fuzzy I want a writen contract.
(2) as I am seeing somebody (Im really not) that I would have to tell them that I want to start seeing other people as I do not believe in cheating (I don't) I believe in treating people how I'd like to be treated (this is true).
(3) He is never to discuss other women EVER and I will not discuss my guy.... as that is private (when I'm done... there will be no other women... and there is no other guy)
(4)Will this be a $e% only thing? Because if this is to be a $e% only thing then forget it as I want to go out and have fun
So Scorp typed back "I dunno I'm falling asleep... talk tomorrow"
My brother said Scorp is not tired...lol.. he said scorp is looking for the catch.... he said scorp will probably not agree... but if he does... scorps done... no matter how many other women he's seeing.
He said if scorp agrees that he and the computer girl will finally get a break (he calls flow the computer girl) as I will finally be on my "turf"...lol...
He said this actually may be good for Scorp as it may take his mind off his situation with his ex BUT if things got out of control with the ex to back off immediately and wait for scorp to give me the golden nod.
He asked what my plan was... I told him if Scorp agrees... I am going to smother him.... with freedom. My brother laughed and said he expected nothing less ..lol.. He said very few women don't call... give space... disappear... and have plans.
All he did was laugh. He said when scorp doesnt get the "Is anything wrong call?" from me.... lol... he said that's the killer right there as almost every woman makes the "Is there anything wrong?" call with the first or second disappearing acts that scorps are sooooo famous for ..lol..
He said if Scorp agrees... he gives him 6 months. He told me to have fun and he'll meet him for Christmas...lol...
What do you think flow? Is he just building my ego???
birdee i'll read and post but I just gotta catch up first ..lol..
FLOW AND SCORPVIRGO-
I understand what you guys are saying. Scorp is reaching out to me because it was never that he didnt want me in his life.. its just right now he needs to figure himself out with out hurting me. It has nothing to do with wanting other girls or not interested in me. (Like he told me before) He wants a relationship without the responsibility.. right?
I talked to my cousin today who has the same birthday as my scorp and he said the difference with scorps and air signs like me is that scorps SAY WHAT THEY MEAN.. where as aquas dont.. were too worried about feelings so we come off as unemotional and most likely are the ones saying "its not you, its me" line when breaking up with someone and than maybe later on tell them the truth... where as scorps tell you how it is good or bad. Meaning everything he has told me.. he meant.
I guess I have always been feeling like he was giving me the pity line because thats something I would do to not hurt someones feelings. My cousin told me its different with him.. he very well maybe afraid of losing me but right now he cant control whats going on in his life and that scares him.. like you said Flow, he doesnt want to hurt me along the way..
My cousin also said the reason he countinues to stay in contact with me and keeps our photos up and what not is because hes not pushing me out of his life like that. My cousin told me he did the same thing with his ex ... kept her in the "line of sight" till his life was back in order till he knew what he wanted. Simply because he didnt want her out or finding someone new. (They are not together today because she moved away for grad school and hes already graduated and settled in with life) He said I need to make it clear that im not here for friends with benefits and that I still have a heart and feelings. That I was still hurt in this process. He said in a way he is testing me to see how much I care.. a lot may have to do with his past of rejection and seeing if i'll do the same to him.. even after what he did to me..
Like I said before it's not that I hate him or punishing him by not wanting to be friends.. its just that I fear a.) he'll forever want that or b.) he'll meet someone new when I never fully let go
Moon you get the right?
I fear if I dont heal now than its a risk im taking for future pain.. but if I do heal now Its a risk im taking of losing him for good... see where im torn?
I forgot to ask him this tho...
So my question is how do I continue to let him know im still here for him but still somewhat need my space? Im worried now cause I didnt write him back to his last message so now I think he wont talk to me again... is this so or will he try again?
I did tell him to leave me alone but his last message.. he didnt really leave it in a way where I could really say much back.. almost like he was closing it in a way where he couldnt be rejected
So should I just wait for another response from him or should I write him back? How do I even pass his "test"?
I know you guys are busy but if you could just answer that it would help.. otherwise its another week before my cousin will get back to me. Hes a business man.
May I add.. being an aquarian.. we are very good with letting people have space.. maybe to good. We dont argue them on it.. we dont push them on it.. we dont pull jealousy acts.. we just step back. and were still very loyal threw it all.
Im sorry Flow lol your probablly shaking your head because you've told me this and im just now getting what your saying.. when you read me as a person I started really thinking about what you were saying and what SV said.. now I see why Moon says your right most the time.
I did like the detective stuff too, though only watched CSI – Las Vegas for a while, don’t like all the „copies” they made since.
you know what i’ve read? they cancelled Flash Forward, cause it had really really low ratings… now am i the stupid here??? that was an AMAZING show…. maybe there was something else showing in another channel at the same time in USA? no idea…
Jack Davenport is a really good actor, anyways i LOVE british accent. LOL
i did like Heroes too and it is sad that they cancelled it… exactly at a cliffhanger ending which could have led things to change big time…
Warehouse 13? Never heard of it, but it’s going to my list.
Eddie Cibrian? is he the gorgeous guy from Third Watch???
i know Ghost Whisperer, i mean it is on TV here in Hungary too, but never watched it. Might just try once…
Lolpet to Katie>> Another saying for ya.lol. "Change the things you can, and don't worry about the things you cant"
Makes sense - why waste time worrying over things you can't change. They are going to happen anyway.
Katie>> thanks, great saying too. and it definitely makes sense. i think we spend enormous energies to trying to change things which we cant…
but to gain this wisdom and really apply it… so damn hard… well, i’m trying. it is Saturday noon now, and im still pretty okay. LOL
nooo, i don’t think i’m going to Uruguay. i wanted to visit him for long, but now that he came out with these things… i know if i say i go, he will have certain expectations… and however great some easy adventure sounds to me… after all i am so different… not getting into adventures. but well, for my ego it felt great.
ohh so your performance is in some months still? that’s great. you will have time to practice. where will you perform?
hey, i can’t believe, you have to hear that kid singing. since you are totally busy, im gonna link it for you (and hope admin won’t delete it)
oh and i did not forget about reporting to you about the book Y Generation, im half way through but meanwhile another book got my attention that i find now ’entertaining’ so im reading two books simultanously. i’ll get back to you.
about the monthly forecast there is one thing for aquarius that makes me worried… it says that a person close to me will probably get into hospital…
oh what do you mean i should remember my rising? explain me… you mean i should take my rising which is Virgo and then go and read up on Virgo June forecast (sun sign)?
„were too worried about feelings so we come off as unemotional and most likely are the ones saying "its not you, its me" line when breaking up with someone and than maybe later on tell them the truth...”
„Like I said before it's not that I hate him or punishing him by not wanting to be friends.. its just that I fear a.) he'll forever want that or b.) he'll meet someone new when I never fully let go”
hey Xtine, again i can relate so much. it is the same way with me… i did tell so many times that ’it’s me, not you’… i think it is basically cause even if our love towards someone fades… we just don’t wanna hurt anyone… or at least try to inflict as little pain as possible… hey i felt (and still feel) totally responsible and fault at hurting my ex with breaking up with him…