ASCLAC part 3



  • My car is dead!!!!!!! AHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So much for a relaxing time away from Aries lol

    Getting a tow 😞 stuck at work until it comes, prob be carless for a while.......



  • Hey everyone! I realize that my responses might be a little irrelevant now, but I'm going to post them anyway and then I'll post an update for me. Hope everyone is having a great week 🙂

    Moon-

    About the law of attraction~ I'm definitely a believer. I'm sure that you did attract those things. And that's amazing!! How exciting for you! I'm sorry I haven't kept up very well lately, but did you meet your goal?

    Kel~

    (Copy & Paste Action)

    And then I get mad and upset and I feel like everything is about Aries, for instance, I wanted to talk to hima nd open up to him about an epiphany I had about the future of my house flipping business and the future of my friendship with my Aqua-ex. So I started to talk about it, something I said reminded Aries about something that happened to him. So he butted in, told his story and then that story reminded him of another story and then 10 minutes later, he's run his mouth and we're completely off topic. I patiently wait until he's done and then refinish telling my epiphany...I mean it shouldn't really bother me, but I really took it personally that he couldn't shut up for 5 minutes and let me tell him something important

    I hate that about aries! I never get a chance to get a word in because they always have a much better and more exciting story to tell! Haha I do love them, but I know the feeling! Sometimes I think you have to literally tell them to stop talking and to listen to you. Sometimes they get carried away haha

    (Copy - Paste) "I've read that about Cancer males...we're really flirty with everyone because we're so insecure...I don't know if this is the same thing though...I dunno...anyone?"

    From what I've noticed, Cancer males are usually very flirtatious. I wasn't aware of the insecurity though! I think everyone is insecure in their own way... especially when there are feelings involved. I'm sorry Kel, I don't know how you couldn't be looking great right now, with all of the work you've been doing! Just try to stay positive and remember that Aries does care about you and find you attractive. Attention from other guys (i.e. Scorp/ Taurus/ Libra ;)) will only make you more confused about your feelings for Aries. SEE KEL? You have a 1/3 of the Zodiac who would love to be with you. I'm proud of you for stopping yourself from texting them. I agree with SV, I say use this time away from Aries to sort your thoughts. Looks like you're already working on it though 🙂

    SV~

    I love the online diary idea. I tried to start writing in mine for 30 minutes every day, but I never have time! How often do you write?

    About the reading (I know I'm late.. sorry!) Try not to take it to heart. Obsessing over it will only make them come true. Choose to ignore it 🙂

    Here's a copy/ paste: so, the restaurant owner, my good friend, has told me once again that I need to start being nicer to people in general. I told him that it seems like it's only him and his crew(which includes cancer boy) that think that I'm "mean". Everyone of my other friends gets along with me just fine and loves me the way that I am.

    That's funny that you should mention this, because I used to work with a Crab who would always tell people (even in front of me) that I was actually a b)tch even though everyone else thought I was sweet! It annoyed the hell out of me. He probably has worn off on the owner, unfortunately. Maybe he's just threatened because the owner is friends with both of you, and he wants to look better? I'm not sure. Either way... very frustrating!!



  • As for me... haven't spoken to the Scorp in over a month. BUT... a former Crab flame has been contacting me a lot lately. I guess there WAS a good reason for me joining this thread hahaha. I never thought that we would even be friends again because he moved to another town and we hardly ever talk... we kind of drifted apart. But around the time of the first eclipse he started texting me out of the blue. And then this week we've texted twice. A few days ago we were talking about how we both wanted to travel and go on a road trip. He went to a concert the next night so I texted him the day after, asking how it went. We ended up talking about our falling out, and he admitted that he had been an asshole and a fool. I didn't deny that statement haha but I also said I'd love to start over. It's long story of course... but it's been two years since there was anything between us. Reading the recent posts about the insecurities of crabs and their use of jealousy... it all makes sense now.

    Not to mention my horoscope earlier this week told me to pay attention to my dreams because they are trying to tell me something. And the night before I had dreamt that one of my former roommates/ good girl friends were in a huge fight and I was sobbing, very disappointed and angry with her! I couldn't figure out what it meant because I rarely ever had any issues with this friend except when she really hurt my feelings by becoming good friends with my Crab (she kind of replaced me I guess you could say haha). But the crazy thing is, the following night, he apologized to me. Maybe my dream was a warning, but his apology was completely unexpected.

    Looking back on it now, I guess maybe he was just trying to make me jealous by hanging out with my friend. I just thought he didn't like me because he couldn't make up his mind either... friend, lover, enemy... I felt threatened and that his feelings weren't there so I moved along. He finally apologized, and I suggested a fresh start now that we've both done some growing up. Wish me luck?!

    Oh and PS~ I still feel weird from the eclipse... big life changes ahead!



  • Kel>>So it has to do with boundaries, I am so incredibly sensitive, I just feel like I keep getting hurt over and over and over again. But this issue has to do with sex...I'm trying to keep it vague though so hopefully you can figure out what I mean. I mean the issue really isn't sex, it's more trust but anyways here I go...

    SV>>sorry it too me so long to respond….I went to dinner last night with a good friend and I didn’t get home till late. Ok, I’m so incredibly sensitive too. Even though I seem really sensitive on this thread, I don’t show ANY emotion to anyone who knows me in real life. I am completely unemotional and people call me a “guy” cause I don’t like talking about feelings, ever! LOL….I do understand completely how you feel though. trust is such a big thing with me, you know that, so I’m glad that you and I have that in common. You’ve actually helped me out a lot when it comes to getting more open, speaking about my feelings, and being ok with slowly trusting people. I’ve still got a lot to go, but I do appreciate you so much!

    Kel>>So Aries has kinda pushed for us to "save ourselves" for when we see each other. And I've been abiding by that, so during the week when i get an urge, I tell myself to save it for when I see him and take all that se*xual frustration out on him lol He has been kind of the "watchdog" to this rule, I always ask him "so are we saving ourselves this week?" and he's always like YES!!! He says he likes the idea of saving it for me.

    SV>>I used to do this with my ex bf all the time. we never talked about that or anything, but I used to do it myself, lol. I feel like it’s a good way of making sure you give your “all” when it comes time to have s*ex, LOL…I’m glad someone else feels that way too! I don’t feel so weird anymore, haha!

    Kel>>So yesterday I'm talking to him via text, he took the day off from work to go pack and stuff for his trip...well let me back up a little bit. He was over Tuesday night and when I initiated things with him, he couldn't get it up, said he got nervous and lost in his head...but this has happened many times and usually only when I start things...I feel like he's trying to control me through s*ex, it also makes me very insecure (probably where all my issues with appearances are coming from)...

    SV>>ok, hmm…do you think maybe it’s because he’s got a lot on his mind? Or do you think it’s simply because he wasn’t in the mood? Some people aren’t as sexually inclined and driven as Cancers and Scorps, we have to keep that in mind. How often do you guys have sex during the week, you don’t have to tell me, but that may help with what’s going on. He might just feel like the relationship is turning into “all sex, no play”…meaning that instead of talking and getting to know eachother more and make the relationship grow, it’s turning into s*ex all the time. I’ve felt that way before in a few of my relationships. This also has to do with the honeymoon phase being over, like I was talking to you about before when you had the issue with him butting into the conversations and making it all about him and you getting annoyed about it.......

    Kel>>so anyways we're talking last night, and I'm like "So am i saving it for you while you're gone?" and was like oh i took care of myself today while I was home...now we've gone LONGER than the 5 days he'll be gone,

    SV>>hmm…that’s interesting. You should have responded with “well, why are you breaking the rules? I thought we had an agreement? Or I could have come over and you and I could have had a good romp in the bed before you left. That hurts my feelings. Why are you having a double standard?”....something along those lines….I would have taken offense as well because I’m just as faithful to a “rule” when it’s been instated, but I also would have just asked him the question, waited for his answer, and if it wasn’t a HUGE big deal, then I’d “take care” of it myself. Maybe he just thought that you guys wouldn’t have a chance to see eachother or do anything before he left and he just needed to get it “out”…he probably didn’t think that you would get offended or that you would be so sensitive in your reaction. Sometimes people just do things without thinking about how the other person would react. It could just be some mundane thing that is part of a routine or something, so they don’t think that it would actually hurt another individual. Make sense?

    Kel>>he said it was because he was going away and wouldn't be able to see me...ok so anyways what's bothering me is (by the way he's done this before and i've been faithful to the rule the whole time)...he sets up this "rule" for the both of us, this mutual understanding, and then he just picks and chooses when to break it when HE feels like it, yet I'm the one holding the bag because I followed the rule

    SV>>see, I don’t think he realizes how much this is affecting you. he doesn’t realize that its hurting you a LOT that you are sitting here doing this for him sort of as a sacrifice(yes, I know that’s a strong word, but it kind of IS), and he’s picking and choosing when to follow the rule. I think he doesn’t realize that you are honestly following it. it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t respect you, it just means that he takes care of himself when he needs to, but when he knows that you guys are going to have a GREAT night and/or weekend together, he saves himself. He probably just doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I honestly believe that you need to talk to him about it. s*ex is a big deal to you, as it is to most cancers and scorps. It’s a connection, it’s a feeling, it’s an experience. Not everyone feels that way. I can understand his stance where he was like “ok, well I’m not going to see him for a while, I might as well just take care of business” and just not think TWICE about it. but to you, it’s a big deal. Talk to him about it when he comes back. I promise you his reaction will be “really? I didn’t think you were going to feel that way, I had no idea! I’m so sorry you feel this way. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad”

    Kel>>it just sucks because Tues he couldnt get it up and then he'd rather go play with himself...when I guy can't lift it, it means there's BIG problems, I've never had that happen before, nobody has ever gone soft on me before (big ego much? lol) I don't know how to interpret it or handle it and I can't talk to him about it right now because he's away on vacation and I don't want to ruin his vaca...

    SV>>lol, gosh what a big EGO it is kel!!! Haha jk!! I think he’s just got a lot on his mind. And it might just be like what I said above with it being all sex…he’s not disrespecting you nor are you losing respect for yourself. You just really need to sit down and talk about this. Sex is important…VERY important in a relationship. I don’t think you guys are having big problems. You probably just need to talk it out. AFTER he gets back of course. I also think that this issue might have something to do with you needing time to yourself. To reflect and have some shell time. now that he’s going on vaca, you can take time for you. you seem to be more sensitive lately with him, and I think it’s because maybe you just need some kel time. I hope this helps some. I thought about you all this morning before I decide to reply.

    I hope you have a better day than yesterday. how did it go with the car situation?? I probably have more to say about your issue with sex and Aries, but lately I’ve just not been thinking clearly….maybe I need to get out some SERIOUS sexual frustration out too…. 😛



  • Moon to SV- For each of these things I find that I spent my time dwelling on them. Thinking about them all the time. ALL the time…. And poof! It worked out for me.

    SV>>yep, that’s what I do. I keep thinking about it all the time. I keep telling myself to stay positive and to keep thinking about the perfect man for me. so hopefully he’ll come around soon. a couple of the tarot card readers are telling me that crabby boy is going to come back and my life is going to end up in heartache again. That scares me. I don’t want even MORE heartache than I already have. So honestly, if he does come back, I need to run in the other direction if he doesn’t give me what I want or fight for me. I will not stand to have my heart broken once AGAIN by someone who doesn’t deserve me. I hoping for the best Moon, I really am! 🙂

    Moon>>I don’t know if it works this way with people… as I am still disappointed in my Scorp, but yesterday as I was getting my hair done I was telling the hair girl (my mom’s best friends daughter) about scorp and she said something that struck me.

    She said “well, what’s the big deal?” and I was like “the big deal is that if he did it to her he’s a worm, he’s not a stand up guy, he can do it to me” and she said “well, if he loved you he wouldn’t do it to you, he doesn’t love her that’s why he’s like that” and I said “Moon, you’re hard on people, you really are, don’t take everything so personal” so I don’t know. Maybe I was wrong? I don’t think I am >:-/ I don’t know.

    SV>> I don’t think you take things too personal or that you’re too hard on yourself. Youre a sensitive person and that’s what makes you who you are. I’m a sensitive person and when I really like someone more than a friend, of course I’m more sensitive to the things that they do. Especially when it involves head games, which clearly your scorp is still playing. You just have to have the strength to either hold on or let go. It’s your choice, but whatever you do, there’s something bigger and better coming your way. You experience in the past couple of weeks with your luck and your dreams coming true are proof!



  • raexo>>I love the online diary idea. I tried to start writing in mine for 30 minutes every day, but I never have time! How often do you write?

    About the reading (I know I'm late.. sorry!) Try not to take it to heart. Obsessing over it will only make them come true. Choose to ignore it 🙂

    Here's a copy/ paste: so, the restaurant owner, my good friend, has told me once again that I need to start being nicer to people in general. I told him that it seems like it's only him and his crew(which includes cancer boy) that think that I'm "mean". Everyone of my other friends gets along with me just fine and loves me the way that I am.

    SV>>I’ve been writing in my diary on and off for about a year now. I’ve been really bad with it lately and I haven’t written in about 2 weeks. I know I’m horrible. I think it’s a great way to just get everything out of your head and onto paper. I’m not obsessing over the reading, it just scared the heck outta me! but apparently he’s been giving a lot of people misinterpreted readings and a lot of people are mad at him.

    Well I don’t know if my cancer boy is talking s*hit to my friend, but it’s been an issue for a while. I’ve tried to make peace with him before and it always settles down after a while. I really think it’s a control issue with him. he feels like I’m too harsh, but that’s just my personality. No one else seems to have a problem with me. it’s just that few 4-5 people which includes him. we also talk/txt a lot and I think he takes offense to some of the things I say via text when its truly innocent. Honestly, tone gets REALLY messed up through text and I believe that is why he said that comment to me a few days ago. Anyway, I invited him to a movie later today, and he hasn’t replied. We’ll get over it eventually. He’s probably being sensitive, which is fine. I’m just getting annoyed how I’m constantly portrayed as “mean” in his eyes…

    As for you, raexo, let us know how the crabby patty turns out. Crabs never let go…LOL



  • Katie - how's it going? did you go out and enjoy yourself the other night? when is the trip??



  • everyone else - how's it going?? i'm finally catching up!!! 🙂



  • Sorry guys, I'm really worn out today. I took today off because I couldn't get to work due to the car issues, I've been basically in bed all day except to pick up my car ($300 to get it fixed boooooo), I'll respond tomorrow, don't feel well



  • I hope everyone is well.

    Just a few quick response.

    Kel,

    No pics of bora bora... I will just get more frustrated that I am not there yet...lol. Sometime in this life time I am sure.

    Bugger about your car. I hope you find something to your liking within your budget if it can’t be fixed.

    I got some thought about the bedroom issue I saw SV responding to but as I said I am not in a good place to just respond without a balanced hought. But as I always say trust your guts in anything.

    Feel better.


    Moon,

    Have you washed out the Keratin treatment and are you happy? I think she didn’t want to change the colour because then the Keratin thingy wouldn’t work or something. That’s my hunch.

    And it’s okay regarding the Adventure post. 8-)

    “It’s probably not a good idea today. I think I may be a bit too hard on others. I think I hold people to this very high standard and when they disappoint me… I just write them off. I think it goes back to my forgiveness issue. I don’t know. We’ll see. Let me put some thought into this one.“

    I hope you figured out that the Scorpiosc is the gal that asked for you. I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You do need to work on the forgiveness issue but you also have to learn not to mix things up. Her situation is with a Cancer and not the other way around. And as SV have been shaken up by a Cancer guy. I got thoughts about your situation but you’re in a good place for now...so I am withholding it all.

    And no I am not sharing anytime soon.

    And for the very same reason (I think I may be a bit too hard on others) is why I don’t post lately.

    I am going through some stuff that I put on the shelve for a while that needed some dusting and run through....so my emotions are hiking and don’t all kind of stuff. I read just to see if there isn’t a real emergency. If there isn’t to my standards then I don’t respond and take time for me.


    SV,

    I wasn’t stalking. I was going through the board and then suddenly I saw your name here and there. Mind I don’t know how many of those readings you asked but your frantic asking was begging for getting a f*cked up reading somewhere. I don’t like being any bodies guinea (sp?) pig.

    Oh something else. I always found that restaurant friend of yours dictates what you should or shouldn’t do. Yeah controlling. If you can’t be you what should you be? He is being him..do you have comments towards him how he should behave? A friend of mine should try this....I would be all up in their face and salting that sore spot. Jeeezz.


    Lua,

    LOL...try to get some sleep girl. Over 2 years we can start talking soccer again when the EK comes around. That must be some package he is sending you. I hope it got some good surprises for you. I used to have a (Italian) boyfriend that sent me packages with his own home made music CD’s and video very professional. Uhmm he lives in Rome. 🙂


    Raexo,

    Nice to see you back and probably back in the love game with a Crab. I am very curious how this is going to go. I have no experience in the love department with Crabs just as acquaintances or co-workers. And oh a friend that I haven’t heard from in over a year.

    Good luck!

    My dreams have been crazy lately. Trying very hard to decipher them. Not easy.


    Katie,

    If I don’t come back online before Tuesday....have a great trip.


    Have great weekend all. I got this in my inbox and thought of you guys.

    • Don’t let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life... Relationships works best when they are balanced.

    • Never explain yourself to anyone. Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it, and the person who dislikes you won’t believe it.



  • Okay...repost to Moon, (fri,gging typo’s)

    ~ I hope you figured out that the Scorpiosc is the gal that asked for you. I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You do need to work on the forgiveness issue but you also have to learn not to mix things up. Her situation is with a Cancer and not the other way around. And as SV have been shaken up by a Cancer guy. I got thoughts about your situation but you’re in a good place for now...so I am withholding it all.

    And no I am not sharing anytime soon.

    And for the very same reason (I think I may be a bit too hard on others) is why I don’t post lately.

    I am going through some stuff that I put on the shelve for a while that needed some dusting and run through....so my emotions are hiking and don’t all kind of stuff. I read just to see if there isn’t a real emergency. If there isn’t to my standards then I don’t respond and take time for me. ~

    This is another reason I don’t post when my head isn’t level...to much fri,gging typo’s. Then there is too much to read if I don't. Okay here goes.

    I hope you figured out that Scorpiosc (SCC) is the gal that requested your assistance. I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Yes you do need to work on the forgiveness issues (sooner than later) but you also have to learn no to mix things up. (example: personal/business ...lol) Her situation is with a Crab and not the other way around. She has as SV been shaken up by a Crab guy. I got thoughts about your situation but you’re in a good place for now....so I am withholding it all. Whenever I am ready to disclose I will and no time sooner.

    As for you not wanting to be hard on people is the very reason why I don’t post lately. I am going through some stuff that I put on a shelf for a while that needs some dusting and run through. So many emotions are hiking (literally) and all kinds of stuff. Basically I am working on me. I read the board and if there isn’t a real emergency I don’t post. I cost me a great deal of energy to respond because I have be back up what I write and mean what I say.

    So little chit chat from me and I am taking time for me.

    Okay this makes more sense...jeez.



  • Hi all,

    Hope you are all well.

    Going back to read up from where I left - could be some time!!!!

    Sorry I haven't been around lately. Sinus infection/hayfever turned into flu and i have been ill for two weeks, spending much of that time in bed.

    Last time I posted I hadn't seen Scorp for a bit, ended up being 4 weeks in total! Few texts back and forth but not the volumes they had been. It concerned me a bit. Having said that, I didn't encourage meeting up when he didn't ask.lol.

    So I texted from my sickbed on Thursday, something about the Open Golf tournament in St Andrews this week. It was where he took me for our first proper date. He replied and invited me along yesterday, and as he was due to go on his annual camping holiday with friends today I took the opportunity to visit. Turns out he has been worried about his work - bit of uncertainty there. Loads of work in pipeline, but nothing immediately as far as he knows. It has been eating away at him, but he doesn't share when things bother him, unless it is face to face (or under the influence!!). Had a chat and he is much more relaxed and ready to chill and enjoy his holiday.

    Things back on track, and talking about a short break some time soon when he gets back. In a wigwam.LOL!!!!

    Shopping trip with youngest for fancy dress outfit was such fun. We had a great girlie day. Having said that, the party was for goodies and baddies - all the other girls were fairies and princesses - mine went as a man! Dr Who from a science fiction programme here.

    It was her birthday on 10th also. She is growing up so fast!!!



  • Adventure,

    I will respond here. Captain doesn't like her threads messed up with other things...disturbes the energy flow she needs.

    Your welcome. As you read is partly natural for me. Yes I am aware of it. And this is part of the attraction with Libra. I hope this makes sense to you now you read it all.

    I am trying to detach but everything else is telling me to stay put and communcate more.

    I also read her reply to you and I think you can't deny that it is true.

    Take your time to answer ....when your good and ready.

    I got a bunch to do today including processing that piece of information for my career suggestion.


    Hi Lolpet,

    Good to hear that you're better and that you and Scorp are in talking mode again. Keep it up. Ahum...should listen to my own advice....lol

    Have a great weekend all.



  • Hi all. I wanted to post to you kel I'm sorry I didn't I'm going to go back and do it now.

    I've been in this awful, moody, quiet... I dunno... mood.

    Scorp emailed me. We went back and forth a bit the other day. I asked him where he was living now and he said he was still alone.

    I pinched him and pinched him... over and over... and not once did he come back at me.... he stayed nice. Just kept telling me over and over he wanted to see me.

    He said that he decided it was best not to move back and make it work for him. He said that he's keeping things the way they are and he's not moving back home. He said he's trying to keep it simple and stay civil for the sake of his kids.

    Then I told him how I felt. I told him that I had lost a lot of respect for him when I thought he was going to manipulate the situation for his advantage. I told him that I had felt jipped and let down by him. That he had me believeing he was not a stand up guy. that he was a worm.

    I told him that i was glad he didn't worm out but instead man-ed up. I told him that if he wanted to go back and try to work things out I was 150% ok with it as this is his life and not a game, but to go back and manipulate the situation... over money? that it was a low, sneaky, horrible, disgusting thing to do and I am VERY relieved he did not do it.

    i told him that although things are hard, in the long run he would respect himself for taking the rocky road vs the easy path. I told him that I still look at him the same way, but he almost lost it in me... he came very close.

    I told him again... make any decision he wants... but for ME to respect him... to be friends with him... to know him... to help him... that decision would have to be for the right reasons, not the easy reasons.

    I told him I was proud of him... and glad to see he's not a shadow of the man I thought he was.

    I've not heard anything back.

    I think I've said too much and it's too late to take it back, but... I dunno even if I want to.

    Ok all, I'm going to catch up now.

    I can't figure out if I'm in a blue mood or a pink one. Anybody ever have that problem???

    BRB



  • flow

    i dont really know i guess it does seem true. but you know maybe its all i need at the end of the day anyway. who knows. sometimes i do think it is actually all i want. at the end of it all it is friendship that matters more than anything else. companionship. problem is when s.ex is involved and then i want that person all to myself. anyway its just one books opinion. i have alot of crap to still sort thru. and alot of fear to squash yet.

    to stay put and communicate is hard sometimes. i know that feeling. i still dont feel like it much at the moment. cant be bothered etc etc. too much head stuff also takes away from pure emotion .

    some things just cant be explained..



  • hey guys. catching up from long back. 🙂

    Moon>>

    Thanks for all your cut and paste. i do believe he thought i was ignoring him. but well, he did deserve that. LOL

    he is emailing me cause he is testing the waters? for what? god’s sake, he made a decision, a pretty drastic and hurtful one i must add, so he should just not test the waters. are crabs really so much different? do they really think they can do whatever they want and then just test the waters and try to crawl back? that is insane.

    you said you were OMG about my answer to him and explaining why i havent written for so long. well Moon, i get where you are coming from. BUT understand one thing, i have NO or very tiny little intention (with certain conditions) to ever consider making up with him in regards to the realationship.

    otherwise, i thought, playing games is HIS absolute field. he is a master at that and i could never beat him there. on the other hand… my field is straightness and honesty, with which he can’t deal/can’t do anything about. so that is my greatest weapon, it always was and will remain in the future. and you know what? i must squeeze his heart with kindness and forgiveness. see what he can do with that… 😉

    You say: „He needs to make conversation with you…. He WANTS to talk to you. It’s SO obvious. Plain as day to me.”

    i ask: why on earth would he want to talk to me? he played it all… what does he want? how can he think that he can reverse things?

    You ask: „But why not open the door of communication and ask for a nice lobster tail?”

    well it is easy to answer. i am not a crab. LOL i invest a lot into a relationship pretty much from the very beginning. i believe that relationships have a natural course of evolving. some evolve faster, some slower, but they are evolving, going into a direction. not going back and forth. i can’t deal with that. if you want me, great, then be with me. if not, then find someone else to play with…

    update since then: he got braver im guessing from the private e-mail exchange we had, knowing that at least i am willing to talk to him.

    he started to address me again and pinch/tease me in groupmails… for whatever that is worth for me… LOL

    today we (the friends) are meeting for dinner. i dont know whether he is coming or not. like always, he was unsure… i am really interested as his curiosity will bring him there or not…



  • Flow>> it really seemed like tons and tons of people there. LOL the dutch team deserved to be cheered like that. and i did not mind that i could not get into the dutch camp at the final. would have felt uncomfortable cheering for spain amongst dozens and dozens of dutch people. LOL

    thanks for your wishes regarding holiday. im sure it will be awsome and i can't wait to leave.! 🙂

    do you have such heat wave in Holland too? i am dying of the stupid heat... it is unbearable even inside in the flat... they promised a storm approaching... no sign of it yet...



  • SSC>> ive read your story, sorry to get back at you so late. i cant really give you good advice. i know the mixed signals, i got enough from them too.

    with the him telling he is not ready for a relationship, i agree with Kel. believe what he says, if he is not ready, dont push it. it will only end bad.

    the crab i was involved with never told me he is not ready, in the contrary, lately he called me his girlfriend and us a couple... look where it brought me...

    i dont know what you should do. i dont regret anything from my story, BUT if i could start it again, i would not go after him at all. i would let him work for me much more. that would prove how much he wants me (or not).

    good luck to you. let us know if something happens.



  • SV>> i dont know what party you were talking about. i did go out last weekend and last night too. 🙂 i literally danced off my shoes. LOL i feel free again and happy (most of the times).

    some thoughts still there, but i think they are mostly under control. 🙂

    how are you?


    Adventure>> hope you are fine! 🙂 what happened to that school you were applying for?


    Lua>> hey dear. hope you are getting more sleep already. since i wont be around the next weeks, before i forget, in advance i wish you happy bithday. (no idea how i will be able / wanting to connect to internet during holiday). hope you celebrate a big one!

    what's with crab?


    Lolpet>> nice to hear from you! 🙂


    Kel>> sorry for your car! i hope you get it in oder fast. 🙂 how is it without Aries?


    everyone, a nice weekend still! 🙂



  • Kel- I've been feeling very insecure lately and I don't know why exactly and I can't shake it...I don't really know what to do about it anymore, I've been trying to focus on myself, I've been exercising close to 6 out of 7 days a week, I've been trying to do things that I want to do...I just don't know.

    I think it’s something in the air… I’ve been doing the exact same thing.

    I noticed this pattern about me...after a few months of a relationship when things start to become really serious, I cut off communication with people that I've been keeping in my back pocket.

    I do the same thing….

    But then I start to get crazy, I start to get really sensitive to what my partner says to me, I take offense and take things too personally. I start to look at myself in the mirror for long periods of time and say that I need a nose job or something like that and start to picture what a new better nose would look like. I've start to fixate on the little bits of fat I have in the spare tire area and I start to exercise more and harder to get rid of it. But I just become obsessed about my appearance and think that I look like sh*t all the time. That I'm hideous...

    And then I do the exact same thing!!!! So… I start to… bust out the “Moon Fan Club” ..lol.. I “NEED” them.

    I almost feel like I NEED all that attention from all those various guys, I need to know that there are other people out there who want to get with me. ANd I just don't know why I feel like this, and it ends up causing a lot of problems in my relationships.

    I have an issue like this… Like I start to feel “ugly” or “fat” but meanwhile, they were attracted to me before… what am I stressing???

    I noticed this pattern with Scorp. I noticed it to be for me a control issue. With my ex Leo husband, and my dead Aries ex… and then with Scorp.

    I think… I may be crazy but hear me out… I believe THEY out of their jealous behavior, planted seeds… I think that’s why I became so self conscious. Not outright, well, Scorp did outright ..lol.. but the other two it was more a sly kinda thing. I think it was a control issue with them.

    Some days I feel great, I feel larger than life, but then one little tiny thing happens and I get knocked down, like completely knocked down. it was easier when I was single, but I don't know why it's different now. It should still be the same mentality, having a good relationship with yourself, loving yourself and then nothing can get to you. But it's different now, I can't seem to quite pick myself up fully, I've been getting snappy lately...

    I don’t know about your Aries Kel as I don’t know him… BUT with my ex’s I can say, it was how they were ACTING toward me that caused my REACTION toward them… and myself.

    Then to make things worse, on Friday, Aries was so nice to me, went out of his way to help orchestrate the birthday outing with all the friends...then I got drunk, I started to say mean things to him. And to make it worse, I started to flirt and touch (not sexually, just flirty touching, hand on should type of stuff) his roommate and his roommates boyfriend. For some reason I feel desperate for that outside validation and I just don't understand why. I thought I had conquered this...I don't know what to do. It's so hard trying to fix your baggage while in a relationship

    I don’t know if it’s baggage. I NEED that little frosting from others. If I don’t feel like I’m getting it from my guy or even if I am getting it… sometimes I still need to flirt just to know I’ve still got “it”. I dunno, there is something about when I can really “work a room” that brings me happiness. Yes, it’s shallow, but, well, I don’t care. That’s me and it makes me happy to have the attention sometimes. I know my guy’s reaction may be less than happy, but, again, I’ll do it anyway because at that moment, I want to shine a bit.

    I don’t know why, but I always wanna be the one… how would I say this… Ok, when I date a guy I have 3 rules… (1) I MUST be the better looking one (2) I MUST be the “catch” (3) I MUST feel in control, more so than not. If I don’t then my balance is all off and I wind up starting crazy threads on the internet…lol… see, this is what being with Scorp and my balance being all thrown off has done to me ..lol..

    And then I get mad and upset and I feel like everything is about Aries, for instance, I wanted to talk to hima nd open up to him about an epiphany I had about the future of my house flipping business and the future of my friendship with my Aqua-ex. So I started to talk about it, something I said reminded Aries about something that happened to him. So he butted in, told his story and then that story reminded him of another story and then 10 minutes later, he's run his mouth and we're completely off topic. I patiently wait until he's done and then refinish telling my epiphany...I mean it shouldn't really bother me, but I really took it personally that he couldn't shut up for 5 minutes and let me tell him something important

    Ugh, I HATE that! Maybe it’s a Cancer thing.

    I dunno, it's just all these little things that he does that are getting to me and I want to run away. Or worse, I want to bait Scorp or Taurus or Libra into s*ex talking me, just for the attention, just so I know I've still got it. But I always stop myself because I know that I would be hurt if Aries did that.

    Well, flirting and s.e,x talking to me are two different things in my book. It’s one thing to have a guy say “Wow, what I wanna do to you!?!” and I respond “Oh, you’re just too cute, now be a doll & go get me a blue martini” vs “”Wow, what I wanna do to you” and I respond “Oh, really, well, baby, tell me where are you going to lick first!?!” 😛 ..lol.. I’ll flirt, not s.e,x talk ..lol..

    Something is going on in my brain and I just don' t know what exactly and I don't know what to do about it...

    I think it’s our moody behavior. I am moody sometimes to the point that if I didn’t have kids I wouldn’t get out of bed, other days I wouldn’t even go to bed!

    Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone have any advice?

    I can, but no I don’t. Sorry Kel.

    It's like I need to keep people in my back pocket to feel confident, but that's so wrong...I need to be confident all on my own, I'm trying to get there, it's just not working.

    No, I think like I said… I like to flirt, work the room, mingle… I love it. When I’m in a social mood then that’s the mood I’m in, as for the back pocket… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop that. I like the “Moon Fan Club” ..lol.. I make certain to send out monthly emails and texts to keep everybody at “want” level.

    Oops! Did I just go to H^LL again? D^mn, I’ve been trying to avoid it! ..lol..

    I've read that about Cancer males...we're really flirty with everyone because we're so insecure...I don't know if this is the same thing though...I dunno...anyone?

    Yes, I am VERY insecure ..lol.. VERY. Oh, but I flirt because it’s fun too… and yes, the ego boost, I LOVE/WANT/NEED the ego boost.

    Yup, I’m in H^LL. I’ll go and look for lilshorty ..lol..

    Kel to SV - I have a question/comment that I'm going to direct towards you, I dunno I just get the feeling that you'd put it in perspective for me (but anyone else reading can feel free to chime in)...

    Oh, I always do ..lol..

    So it has to do with boundaries, I am so incredibly sensitive, I just feel like I keep getting hurt over and over and over again. But this issue has to do with sex...I'm trying to keep it vague though so hopefully you can figure out what I mean. I mean the issue really isn't sex, it's more trust but anyways here I go...

    So Aries has kinda pushed for us to "save ourselves" for when we see each other.

    Ok, but I just have to ask… why? I understand “save yourself from others, but why do you have to save yourself from yourself??? Not to get too , well, you know, but don’t you like to think of your guy and, you know… you know? (public forum.. trying to be clean)

    And I've been abiding by that, so during the week when i get an urge, I tell myself to save it for when I see him and take all that se*xual frustration out on him lol He has been kind of the "watchdog" to this rule, I always ask him "so are we saving ourselves this week?" and he's always like YES!!! He says he likes the idea of saving it for me.

    So yesterday I'm talking to him via text, he took the day off from work to go pack and stuff for his trip...well let me back up a little bit. He was over Tuesday night and when I initiated things with him, he couldn't get it up, said he got nervous and lost in his head...but this has happened many times and usually only when I start things...I feel like he's trying to control me through s*ex,

    I may agree with you on this. Most men LOVE it when they get attacked.

    it also makes me very insecure (probably where all my issues with appearances are coming from)...

    OMG! Kel, this is what EVERY one of my ex’s have done to me in the past. This can and has started my insecurity train rolling…

    so anyways we're talking last night, and I'm like "So am i saving it for you while you're gone?" and was like oh i took care of myself today while I was home...

    Ummm… WTF? New rule? Or is it because he’s not wanting to be at full lock and load while on vaycay… If he can bring his toys in the bath tub, why can’t you???

    now we've gone LONGER than the 5 days he'll be gone, he said it was because he was going away and wouldn't be able to see me...ok so anyways what's bothering me is (by the way he's done this before and i've been faithful to the rule the whole time)...he sets up this "rule" for the both of us, this mutual understanding, and then he just picks and chooses when to break it when HE feels like it, yet I'm the one holding the bag because I followed the rule...

    Baby, the only bag I’d be holing if I were you… Would be mine in the shower while I waited for him to get back.

    just sucks because Tues he couldnt get it up and then he'd rather go play with himself...when I guy can't lift it, it means there's BIG problems,

    I've never had that happen before, nobody has ever gone soft on me before (big ego much? lol) I don't know how to interpret it or handle it and I can't talk to him about it right now because he's away on vacation and I don't want to ruin his vaca...

    no, not a big ego ..lol.. you know, the brain is funny sometimes. MAYBE he’s thinking and over thinking things. I’d leave it alone if it was just once and bring it up if it becomes a chronic issue. You don’t want to put pressure on him if it’s just once… might make things worse, it’s just once.

    Now, if when he gets back his gun still is malfunctioning when he pulls the trigger, then I’d break the weapon down and find out why it can dry fire but not shoot rounds!


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