Please help----he has his pinchers in me i cant let go



  • I met this scorpio guy 2 years ago. i am a saggitaurius. we met through a mutual friend. we dated briefly and it was wonderful. he all of sudden stop calling, i tried a few times but he never returned my calls. i was so wounded that it felt like i had loss a close family member. i didnt understand why he just abruptly went away. 8 months had passed and i thought of him constantly, but i could never bring myself to start a conversation with him online. one day i said hello, we had a conversation that led to us seeing each other again. it was more casual at first. i was just so glad he was in my life. later i injured myself and he took complete care of me. all those feeling i had before just rushed back, like we never had a break. from the very beginning he was unreliable. that bother me so much but i accepted it because when were finally together he made everything better. he would stay over and not even make any sexual advances towards me at all. i started to wonder what was it that this guy wanted from me. i still dont know. this went on for like 5 months. one night i had the courage to kiss him, touch him in his gential area. i performed oral sex on him. he said that he didnt want to go all the way because sex makes relationships complicated and make people go away and that he didnt want me to ever go away. that i was important like his mother and sister. i guess u felt honored that he supposely respect me so. we continued to hang out with each other, i even had christmas dinner with his dad at my home. fast forward to a few months ago we had been drinking some wine and when it was time to sleep my clothes fell off. that was the first night we ever had full intercourse even though it was over maybe 3 seconds. i attributed that to not having sex for a while. we had a discussion about not wanting to have any children at this time. i went to birth control method. we had sex once more and never since. he has been so cold to me lately. we had made plans to travel out of state and he waited until 2 weeks before to decide he wasnt going to go. i ask why and he said whatever you think it is. that statement alone made me shiver inside. how could the same person claimed he cared for me so much and never hurt me could be so cold. i feel i need to leave this so called relationship. i have never been so emotionally devasted. somebody please help me. i dont know what to do. i feel so scared and alone. how could i tell my family what i am going through. i feel like such a FOOL.



  • Yes you do need to leave. This guy doesn't love you romantically, more like as a sister or mother or friend. He likes to be with you but only in a platonic way. I think this guy is seeing someone else (maybe more than one person) and having sex with her at the same time he is (partly) involved with you. This is not a healthy relationship and you must have the strength, courage and self-love to leave it.



  • i definitely agree with you. it really hurts to read that he doesnt love me. how could he not? i have always been there for him. i suppose i wanted to have so much faith in him that i didnt want to see the red flags. what am i to do to get pass this? i was in a 10 year relationship and it didnt hurt half as bad. what was his purpose of sticking around for so long? i can give all the advice in the world but when it comes to my own life, i dont know what to do. thank you for your insight.



  • Some people just don't have love in them no matter what you do for them. They are just takers and not givers. Learn the lesson here - that you shouldn't keep giving and giving when you are getting nothing in return. All your sacrifices can just not reach some hard-hearted people.

    You need to find something else important to take this man's place in your life. A hobby, another person, helping others, a pet, a holiday or whatever...just don't sit around pining over him and mourning the 'death' of the relationship for too long. Get out there and enjoy life - there is so much beauty in the world so don't let one bad experience blind you to it.