Confused Aquarius with a Picses and a Gemini...

  • Alright, this may get confusing, but bear with me! I am an Aquarius (moon in Libra, rising Taurus, Mars in Gemini, Venus in Sagittarius, yeah I know, I start out a mess!). I have been married to a Pisces for 13 years (he has a rising Taurus, moon in Capricorn, Mars in Gemini, Venus in Aquarius). We have our ups and downs, but we work, I think. The only problem really is that he just does not turn me on, at all. It sucks, because he is a very romantic type Pisces, constantly chasing ME and oogling ME, and really only me (other than the porn, but that is another story!). Anyway, he is really nothing by loving, except in the mental fighting department. Sometimes I feel he is trying to control me, he acts like my dad a lot of the time (not really a big turn on). He is always trying to teach me to be a better person (like I'm not already?) But, I know his heart is in the right place. Like I said, the only problem we have is I just don't really enjoy sex...

    So, step in a Gemini that I met online about four years ago (sorry, no chart on him! Tried, but it didn't work, he's not into that astrology stuff either, and he figured out why I was asking what time of day he was born, lol!) At first, he just drove me nuts! We played an mmorpg together, and he would follow me everywhere! I called him my little gemini puppy, cause he was loyal to me and followed me around. He talked to me for hours everyday on IM, and just wouldn't leave me alone. I almost had to peel him off of me at times. We had a lot of fun times, even though we only talked over text, on the phone, and in game. Well, fast forward to about a year ago, things changed a bit. I realized I thought I may really like him. I came to depend on his listening ear, he would always listen to me and my problems. I felt like he was my best friend, and I loved him for it.

    Well, needless to say, I screwed up royally. I decided I was going to see how much he valued our friendship. I stopped talking to him on IM and in game, and I didn't play the game anymore. If he wanted to talk to me, he would have to prove he liked me by calling me on the phone. I didn't talk to him for three months. When I finally did, he was really upset. He asked me if i didn't want him in his life anymore. I said that I did, and that I had been busy. Well, so we talked a while after that, maybe another three months. THEN, he did the same thing to me, and didn't talk to me for like three months. That drove me NUTS! SO, I tried to get a hold of him, after a while I finally did. Then we talked a bit, and I realized that I really did love him. So, I basically told him. Er, well, I didn't realize that that would have been that much of a problem. It made him uncomfortable for me to tell him that, and it was awkward. He pretty much disappeared again, and when I tried to talk to him, he told me that I was psycho and that "maybe" we shouldn't be friends. Hmmmm, that sucked, I yelled at him, many times, hung up on him on the phone, and called back. I tried to smooth things over, but to no avail. Then he stopped talking again. I left him finally with a simple email to explain that I was sorry, and that if he ever needed me, that I would be here for him. My poor Pisces husband put up with all this crap the whole time (not wanting to meddle in my friendships, but hating the Gemini for ruining "HIS" life (not mine, of course, my Pisces husband's true colors showing). I feel bad for him, but I also resent him for all the crap I put up with for him.

    Anyway, fast forward to about two weeks ago (maybe 6 months since my Gemini friend stopped talking to me, and I had long since given up hope of him calling or anything), he (Gemini) calls me out of the blue, supposedly he "drunk dialed" me. (and why did he still have my phone number in his phone?) Not wanting to give up hope, intrigued by the puzzle of this, and not wanting to give up on my friend (all in true Aquarius fashion), I didn't answer the phone when he drunk dialed me. I had already removed his info from my phone, but had it elsewhere, “just in case”, so I double checked before calling back, to make sure it was him. I actually texted him first, and he didn’t answer me. So, I texted him a whole load of crap, just to get him to respond (sometimes you gotta push to get answers!) Finally, a couple days later, he calls me up in the middle of the night, and says he loves me. What?!? Yeah, well…

    So, I console him on the phone, and he kept asking me what do I do, what do I do, and then he asked me what I wanted. I wanted nothing more than to run away and be with him, but that is not what I told him. I just told him that I didn’t know (right/wrong move?) We hung up the phone finally, agreeing that we would talk again in a couple of weeks. Well, that didn’t work out, as it was driving me insane not knowing what was going on in his head. So, I called another friend of his, and I found out that he was telling all the girls he knows that he loves them. Hmmm, now what? I pushed him to give me an explanation of his actions, and after I drove him nuts (I texted him just about nonstop for a day and a half), he asked me to please stop (text again). I told him he had to explain, and if he did explain, that I would go away forever. This is what he said: “cause someone else had hurt me, and I wanted comfort in the form of feeling desired. And that wasn’t fair to you at all and I’m a horrible person. I deleted your stuff [from his phone] so I can’t do it again and I apologize for hurting you.” I am a complete train wreck now. I almost just took off to his house several times (I live in MI and he lives in CA, so it would be quite a feat). He won’t respond again to anything I say, and it hurts so deeply to have him leave me TWICE now, even though he technically isn’t mine to begin with. Again, my Picses is mad at him, even wants to exact revenge on him for ruining HIS (not my) life, and no sympathy from me for me, AT ALL.

    I don’t want my Gemini to hurt, and be alone, and I don’t want my Pisces to be alone, or to be so damn evil and selfish, they both frustrate me to no end! Again, I am stuck, as I have been for years, not knowing what to do. I feel such a deep connection with my Gemini (like what I thought would be a soulmate kind of connection) and yet I feel more friendship with my Pisces. My Pisces is what I wanted before I knew what I really wanted. Believe it or not, the sex was never what I expected with him, and I have never felt the deep emotion with him that I feel with the Gemini, it pains me to realize all of this now, after being married for 13 years. But now the Gemini will “seemingly” have nothing to do with me AGAIN… It makes my heart split in two to have him (Gemini) do this to me yet again, especially after the Pisces badmouthed him for years for taking too much of my time away from him. Is my Pisces right, is he just playing me like a fiddle?

    I don’t know what to do, I’m stuck between a psycho and a hard case, damned if I do, damned if I don’t. And, not to mention, feeling guilty and hurt on a daily basis, with built up sexual frustration as well. Maybe I am better off alone…

    Tell me what you think of this. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Again, in my Aquarius spirit, I seek truth above all else.

  • As a Gemini, I could say one thing: this man isn't into you.

    If he were into you, he wouldn't be "drunk dialing."

    Truth is, you're confused. Perhaps therapy will help sort out your feelings.

    You also need time out for yourself because being with the "stuck" for 13 years isn't easy. I suggest going on a vacation with your female friends or alone.

  • So, thank you for your response, and you are probably right..

    Of course, thinking about this again, now you are saying that I am confused and that I need therapy? Not sure about that one, I have analyzed this thing over and over in my head... Therapy is not what I need, they both need it. Heaven help them both, they are both psycho, but neither will get help.

    My friends all assure me that the Gemini is a complete train wreck right now (he has been looking for a mate for years to settle down with, go figure that out from a Gemini), and my Pisces thinks that I am ruining his life, not that he is ruining his own life. So, really, who needs therapy??

    Lol, in hindsight, this is all just crazy, I should not have posted such a post on a board such as this... But, it felt good to get it all out...

    I think alone is a better place to be. Thanks for your help! 🙂

  • One other thing, AWYN, can I ask you, as a Gemini yourself, was he toying with me for the 3 plus years before all this happened? Was he using me for attention? Was I a game to him? I'm thinking that is the only logical explanation... Of course, I kind of new this already, and I asked him more than once, he swore up and down that I was a real friend to him, in spite of what the Pisces was saying. So, in other words, he lied to me a million times over, and what, wasted how much of his time on me?

    I guess that is the part that puzzles me the most, why waste all that time? Was he really so bored that he had to talk to me for hours on end, and couldn't find someone closer (location wise) to talk to? Are other Gemini's that illogical?

  • Good evening, RisenPhoenix. Let us address this in three parts. Firstly, you need to address what is going on with you. Are you undergoing a spiritual change, emotional change, or something else? Unlike other zodiacs, every Aquarian is different. You need to face you and your true needs so you can deal with issue two, your spouse. Most women will say they would rather have your Pisces than your Gemini any day. However, you are not most women. You are Aquarius. Like water, you need to flow freely. Pisces is an emotional sign. They are very loving as well. I am all about family. So, I would like to see you and your spouse work out your problems. If you have not done so, try sexual therapy. Lastly, Gemini is supposed to be a compatible sign for Aquarians. I say any sign can be compatible if two people are is sync. Obviously, this Gemini and you are not. He probably has a life somewhere with someone else. Also, eventually those things that attracted you to him will drive you nuts later. Neither Geminis nor Aquarians are linear thinkers. Therefore, logic does not apply to either sign.

  • the way I see it, you are married and it isn't much of the marriage you want, but you are still in it.

    why don't you sort that part out first? between you and your pisces husband. really take your time and talk about your marriage, how it has been affecting you and what you expect him to contribute. I am your opposite sign so what i wrote may not be your best interest.

    But wouldn't it be easier to know where you stand in regards of your marriage? you are in it for 13 years, there must be something in it that makes you stay anyway. is it possible to work things out? if you find that he can not change, then you know you can't stay. but if he does change, you should move on and forget this Gemini for your own sake.

    once you know where you stand in terms of commitment, I'm sure it will be easier to know what to do about this Gemini man. If you are not committed to anybody, you will be free to pursue him or play any game you want with him. But if you are still committed to someone, you will always be pulled into two directions and not getting any result from anyone.

    I can't say I have good experience with Pisces or Gemini, but I never fall for them in any way. I want certain things in a man and if they don't have it, there is no point of giving my heart or body to them. I always end up with a Capricorn, and married one for almost 9 yrs now without much of a friction. I never had doubts about him and he is not one that plays mind games. Sure not everyone likes Capricorn, but to each their own. To be fair I also have to add, upbringing plays important role. Maybe if you know the Pisces and Gem's family, you can understand more about them and probably how to deal with them.

  • Well, thank you for the response, I appreciate it!

    But, I did want to comment on one thing, just because a sign is not a "linear" thinking sign, does not mean that a sign is not logical, it only means that their logic may be different than yours. Just a thought!

    And, honestly, to set it straight, they BOTH drive me NUTS!

  • I never said a certain sign is not logical

    we are all born with heart and brain, so there is no way someone is not logical or not using brain. well at least I hope not

  • And, LeoScorpion, so far, I just say screw it, I'm done with the Gemini's crap anyway, I worry about him, but still, if he wants help, he knows where I am.

    Other than that, my problems with the Pisces are far from over, he wants an easy life, with an easy relationship, something I cannot provide. Who knows where this will end up? I definitely feel that he is a great friend, but still, I can't get over the whole sex thing, and neither can he. So, we sit in a stalemate, as Aquarius and Pisces often do. We will probably sit here together forever, waiting for someone else to fix our problems, preferring the comfort of our chaos to any real confrontation or solution, rather than trying to make it alone separately. It is easier that way, no? Such is my life! I have most anything I might need, except the sex I always wanted... I wonder if a solution will ever present itself...

    And, seriously, the being tied down thing is seriously overrated! I could be a classic example of nothing ever happens here, I would prefer traveling constantly to a stale home life.

    Yes, most girls would love my Pisces, I love him too, just there is something missing...

  • Sorry, LeoScorpion, I was actually responding to LoveLotus, but I am new to this board, and it didn't show up the way that I thought it was going to show up 🙂

    And, thanks for making me laugh, that last bit was funny 🙂

  • hope solutions come up for you

    I certainly have never been in your situation so I'm kind of confused reading it too I guess

    good luck anyway

  • no problem. I had to read your story again too wheew

    anyway good luck and hope for the best

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