Confused by a Cancer

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  • Keldjoran: just like you suggested I left my cancer a message today asking if he was o.k.? He was online today and didn't reply back..I guess that's my answer that it is over..right?

  • keldjoran>>I find this to be true in my case as well, I generally do NOT like to get gifts, I almost feel in debt to the person who gave me the gift, especially if its a really good, thoughtful gift. I will always return the favor, I don't like to be "one uped", I like everything to be even-steven

    Sandran712>>I had feelings for a Saggitarius.Now..I've known him for years.We dated a few times.He happens to be a car mechanic.I gave him a picture in cross stitch of a yellow volkwagen beetle car.It was a present I made myself.And the framing alone cost $75.00.He kept shoving it away and would not accept it.As I walked away.I said you forgot your picture.For him to accept such an extravagant gift.I accepted a little cheap made in china keychain.I still have the keychain.This picture measured about 11x17..So it was no little ornament.

  • Sandran712>>I have been cross stitching for 18 years.I win ribbons.I make things for friends.Especially when I am short on money.I make Christmas gifts.And I guess I make the right choices because everyone loves my work.I have made a picture for Marty Stuart..A picture of a bloodhound. Anyone know him? favorite song is cry-cry-cry.It was a Johnny Cash song.

  • Well Guys . You all say cancers have a hard time excepting gifts , Well mine dident . every time I gave him Money all he said was , ThanKs alot . Never said I shouldent be taking this of you , or i can never repay you . B******. LOL.

    @ConfusedbyaCancer. I have not heard from mine in 7 weeeks . It's definately over between us . No explaination what so ever.

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  • confusedbyacancer>>>Keldjoran: just like you suggested I left my cancer a message today asking if he was o.k.? He was online today and didn't reply back..I guess that's my answer that it is over..right?

    Sandran712>>You cannot bother a Cancer with Instant Messages.And,No you did not get your answer.He really may have been busy.

  • Well Guys . You all say cancers have a hard time excepting gifts , Well mine dident . every time I gave him Money all he said was , ThanKs alot

    Lindleloo I didn't know you also gave him money. I thought he just disappeared.

    maybe I read it but forgot some details. goodness you gave a lot to this guy. How unthoughtful he is not even calling you for so long.

  • loescorpion. Yes i did give him alot of money . 2.320 pounds for his university fees, 600 for his Visa to stay in the uk . 300 for his holiday to India in july and he calls 8 weeks ago me to ask for 300 as he said he was skint ,but i'm thinking it was for his latest trip to India in october Money for his birthday and last xmas . (but they were gifts ), and not counting my petrol and hotel fee's which I paid for when I went to scotland to meet him X5 times . Yea well over 4, 000 pounds altogether . He has definately used me but I have learned a lesson . Thank you for your concern . I just love you guys on here. i have posted a comment on my forum 'Have I lost my cancer /b/f for good " if you want to have a peek ? xoxoxoxo

  • lindieloo>>>You all say cancers have a hard time excepting gifts ,

    Sandran712>>This is true.And because your Cancer guy used you.That is Not a Cancer trait.That is an ASSShole trait.An opportunist trait.Those traits have nothing to do with Cancer.That is a learned behavior trait.And, think about it..He is from another country.Maybe his parents never taught him an ettiquette lesson in his whole life.He probably had everything handed down to him.You do not know how he was raised.And his moral character sucked as much as he drinks from the toilet.

  • 4000, goodness sake wow a ** hole

    and yes I will check out the other thread

  • Sandran, thanks for your reply. So, he did freak out then? How do I know for sure. HOw do a cancer man try to behave when "just friends". I've been to this date today and never replied to his morning messages. Strangely he never messaged me again. You think he's jealous? Would a cancer let you go out with another man and not try to keep you...?

  • Sandran. if I feel that someone can't handle me but is getting too close and into the realm where they'd have to deal with the bad stuff, I'll push them far far away - a la "let's just be friends"

    So, if he wants to be just friends but contacts me as before is this "push far away"? Yeah, he was also a nice person with me, never did any withdrawing, is the first who initiates the contact, never saw his mood swings as I'm moody myself. But I do sense his dark side as I too have an excellent intuition. So, I was thinking either the reason is that he thought I was thinking of him as perfect or he sees me not good enough for him. I don't have low self-esteem and I'd never think I"m in a less advantage than he is, but probably he might have high ideals. What do you think?

  • So this time I sent a message when he was online and asked him how he was doing and if he was ok. no response. I was in a very bad accident yesterday and so I hinted to him that I could have died and would he not talk to me even if something like that happened and still no reply. I am very hurt that he would not even say anything knowing that I could have been killed. I guess he really hates me....

  • when my cancer guy had a to go back home, due to a death in the family i knew he was short of cash. i offered to help with part of the plane ticket. he told me not to worry and that he would find a way. he thanked me for the offer and said you are something specail, what am i going to do with you?? dang llindieloo, i would not invest that much in a guy unless i knew for sure we we a couple. is your guy still going thru the arranged marriage? if this is not you i'm so sorry.. i met a Sag that was like that... i let him borrow 200 and wrote up an agreement for him to pay me back. we both signed it and sure enough this fool, started acting like i owed him something always saying is your new boyfriend over?? i got rid of him, i didn't not get the 200 back. it was not worth the fight or court fees. he has called me several times wanting to hook up and each time i will tell him NO!!!. the last time he called i strongly told him to loose my number you dusty dic* Nig** and get a life. have not heard from him since'') a Sag to a Cancer.. hope you can be strong and please don't give him no more money.

    @ConfusedbyaCancer are you ok? i hope you have a fast and speedy recovery. that was very selfish and cruel. do you think he may feel that you were just kiding?? just to get his attention? and if he does not like you, why would any of us women want a man like that!! i know i wouldn't.. when my daughter was in an accidnet and i text my cancer guy he was willing to leave work and be there for us. i told him no because my daughter never went to the hospital. he text and called every night to check on her and told me to be strong. don't know what happend to our communication but, i'm loving myself, living everday the way i want it and learning from my mistakes.

  • I've been with my Cancer for 10 months now. Yes, they do have a dark side, They also run hot and cold. They also avoid confrontation. It took a few months and me poking him for a response during an all day text argument ( me texting HIM, until he finally couldn't take it and text me back), before he finally realized I WANT his sassy comments/how he feels. i'm not overly sensitive, even when i should be so his sassiness makes me laugh but, i'm glad he's talking to me. He does avoid talking to me for a day or 4 still sometimes but, it's OK sometimes cuz, sometimes I want the break too. I'm a moody water sign too that runs hot and cold.

    If any guy tells you he just wants to be friends, take him at his word, that's all he wants or can handle. My advice: snap your fingers 2 times and move on to the next guy.

    if you have to give a man money, you've just adopted a careless child that has no scruples. A real man won't take money from a woman for anything. Mine will ask for favors but, he always pays me back bigger then the favor. Most the time the "favor" helps me too.

    If you don't feel GOOD in a relationship with ANY person, it's time to cut it off. relationships should not be Vampires. Don't feed drama. Guys usually know within a few hours or a couple of dates that they want to be with you. Mine, he knew it from 2 conversations and he kissed me BEFORE our first date begun, I said Hi and ke planted a kiss on my lips like we've been greeting like that for felt like that too. Now I think he likes kissing me more because of the sour apple lip gloss I started wearing(lipstick was making a mess on his face), he rubs his lips together after taking it off my lips, it's cremier then chapstick and he has some full lips but, he's not going to use my big green stick!!

    Not every man that we feel a click with, is going to have a future with us, My Click-Clack guys are Taurus, they are my heat!! The passion, the fun, the feelings are soo intense that we burn each other out! They are the only sign that brings out the jealous unsure-I-want-all-their-attention-on-me side of me and the 2 Taurus' I fell in love with in my lifetime, usually had soo many women loving them and asking them to do favors for them. First one, I was friends with for 13 years after he had to leave. Last one took me maybe 4 months to recover from and we were intense for 2 years! Looking back, I don't think i would have been happy with either one of them. Relationship before my Cancer, a Libra, he was talking about a future together but, I wasn't feelin it with him. I guess he felt a "click" that I never did, I tried until he stood me up 1 too many times!! I've seen him in the store not too long ago, he still says we could be good together, I was almost running from him in the store!! He didn't respect me enough to call, I don't see how he still thinks about me like that.

    QUOTE FROM A SONG:If it don't fit, don't force it! Just relax and let it flow, just cuz that's how you want it doesn't mean it will be so!

    If you feel unsure and don't feel good about it, STOP IT!! Your building bad habits of making yourself the victim of bad relationships.

  • @KittyMouse, i have had similar thing said to me by my cancer earlier i our relationship. It's not so much insecurity, it's fear. My cancer man's exact words were "I fear that I am not enough for you when you really see who I am and how I am."... Only because our world is completely different and he felt that he wouldn't measure up to me.

    What I learned was that no matter what we say to make them see this is not the case, it is not our problem nor our issue. Sounds selfish huh. But you see I believe that they have to be the one to change that. We can't change the facts, but we can change ourselves and how we view things. You cannot help or change a person till that person learns to help or change theirselves. If they truly love you they will do everything in their power to keep you even if it means becoming your equal and bettering themselves.

    I think its the former with your situation. I doubt he feels you are not good enough. Usually men have more fears than us women only because they feel they have more to live up to compared to us. I think it is his fears.

    Cancer men are jealous types. My cancer has made it known that he's the jealous type. One situation was, regarding my gym instructor. He got jealous and said said he didn't like him. Another situation was a miscommunication regarding my sisters boyfriend. He missed an email prior and misunderstood and thought I went to dinner with another man, instead of my family having dinner with my sisters boyfriend he only got the bit where I said "Dinner with Rob was good. He seems like a nice guy with good intentions". My cancer guy wrote me this back "DID I MISSS AN EMAIL..... what DINNER .... ROB..... and its good that you are a quite laid back person, I AM JEALOUS!!! WHO IS THAT GUY... with good intensions???" I still laugh about it now.

    So to answer your question. A cancer man, will not let you do anything with another man. It could be even for pure selfish reasons, but obviously it is because they like you. But it also depends on the relationship you have with them and the stage of the relationship.

    @ConfusedbyaCancer, I had the same happen to me believe it or not. I had a near death car accident. A truck missed me by half a metre, not even. Of course I told my cancer man this. He contacted me straight way, relieved I was ok and that I should stay away from the road. He showed his genuine concern. I told him that instead of my life flashing before my eyes. It opened up my eyes to realised what I wanted in life, seeing that I almost missed out on what could've been, including, marriage and a family. That's when he started to discussing the possibility of marriage and proposing... I suppose why I'm telling you this story is, to make you aware about the proper response if a man does really care for you and your wellbeing.

    I'm sure he doesn't hate you... but as Keldjoran said It is now time for you to start thinking about yourself and the start looking at the other direction. But first you have to learn to let go. Forgive him for hurting you and forgive yourself for letting him hurt you and heal. When a door closes another will open up....

  • Its not about moving, its about how someone you considered your friend can be so cold hearted. That's what is upsetting me the most at this moment!

  • Virgocookie>>DID I MISSS AN EMAIL..... what DINNER .... ROB..... and its good that you are a quite laid back person, I AM JEALOUS!!! WHO IS THAT GUY... with good intensions???" I still laugh about it now.

    Sandran712>>I am laughing now.This is so damn funny..LOL..I've had guys act like this..But, they soon fade too.As you see there is no one fawning over me like this.So, I can't explain it.

  • Kittymousse>>So, he did freak out then?

    Sandran712>>I doubt that he freaked out.But,he probably has some issues to work out.Cancers are moody.Who knows what he is thinking.I do know if you smother a Cancer they will stay away/

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