Confused by a Cancer

  • Songsofsharon,

    The post you wrote here, I thought I wrote it!!

    The cancerman I was with also took me on a cruise, and it was such an uncomfortable experience, I was trapped on a ship, I was stuck.

    He also would ignore me. At the time I was trying to justify his actions because I really liked him.

    My gut was constantly tugging at me that this situation was not right, I was in denial.

    After spending the summer together, which was not very exciting, he disappears on me!! Not a single word from him. Now i know this is a blessing in disguise.

    The past months that we have been apart really put things in perspective for me, basically the "what on earth was I thinking".

    This was also the first relationship after 22yrs of marriage, so I was very naive, but live and learn right?

    Even though he was a good looking man, my ideal of who he was, was just an illusion!!

    Rejection hurts, but now I know it was my hurt pride that I was battling with, not the fact that i was missing him.

    Life is too short, but I am prepared when the next relationship comes along.

    I just had to respond here.

    Good for you, you sound like a pretty strong woman, and you definately have your smarts on.

    PS Its hard to see a lot of women struggling here with these types of men, really you can get all the advice in the world, but it truly comes to one self accepting the situation and moving on to a life that one deserves so much better.

    It may take weeks, months or a year to get over it, but you do.....LIFE GOES ON

  • Piscesstar

    I m not the only one, I see. Terrible, I am very cautious and selective with relationships and take my time, but this? This man was very wealthy and was described by many as "nice". The problem was, was that the closer I got to him the "real" person he was, was becoming more obvious to me.Controlling, selfish, manipulative, lieing etc.The bottom line was, I was not happy. He was definitely not relationship material, not all men are. To make matters worse, I thought he was the ONE.It's a painful experience to be that close and not be? The sad part is that these men will come back eventually, so I read. NOT FOR ME, I learned my lesson, thank you, no more.

    Thank you so much Piscesstar for your response, I never posted my experience until now. You have said it so well .It is a healing for me and hopefully for you too, to know we shared the same experience.

    I must ask, will anyone listen to that gut feeling or ignore it? Your heart knows the truth and with time so will you~

  • Songsofsharon,

    I am so sorry you have gone through that experience.

    I can so relate, it almost like a carbon copy!

    I waited so long to date again and this was the experience I got?

    Almost like a cruel twist of fate, I did not deserve this behaviour especially from a man who is 50 years old!! He NEEDS to grow up!

    I have heard these men do come back, I will NEVER go back with this guy, like you, I learned my lesson.

    I am thankful it happened sooner than later.

    We just ignore that gut feeling, we don't want to believe that person is wrong for us, we are human.

    I hope your road to recovery has your heart healed, and it was something we had to go through, so when the next relationship comes along, we will be on guard and know to trust that gut feeling.

    You will find the one and who is worthy of you!

  • Many Blessings to you Piscesstar!!!

  • Many Blessings to you as well songsofsharon!

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