Confused by a Cancer



  • mustbmajik>> i have a CANCER son and he is nothing like that, yea he gets in his alone time moods, but snaps out of it, well he doesn't have a gf, and is MMR maybe that could be a reason.

    Sandran712>>I don't think him being MMR has anything to do with it.My son is special needs .But,It depends on how he is raised.Cancer cannot handle drama.And it sounds like you have alot of drama.Cancer holds alot of emotions.We have high intuition skills.If your son picks up on something that isn't right believe in what he says.Don't let him run your life...But, if he gets a bad feeling from time to time don't ignore it.



  • 5 days and no communication.. i guess it over for sure this time. Happy new year everyone!



  • ok i don't have a lot of drama, don't know where you may have picked that up from, my SON, as i stated gets in an i don't want to be bothered mood as well as ALL of these other CANCER men you all are speaking of, and he is not running my life i wish i would let any child of mine run anything but water in my household, i think you may have read my post wrong, i'm speaking of the same issue YOU ALL are speaking of i just added my son in it BECAUSE he is a CANCER as well, it's not that deep



  • mustbmajik>>ok i don't have a lot of drama

    Sandran712>>You are very hostile....you came on here with this...

    mustbmajik>>this man has an ex-wife, he cheated on, a current wife he is separated from because he cheated, and me.......

    Sandran712>>I call this alot of drama and a trip to the Maury Povich show..



  • mustbmajik>>i'm speaking of the same issue YOU ALL are speaking of i just added my son in it BECAUSE he is a CANCER

    Sandran712>>You need to be specific about signs on these boards.All these posts look like they run together.You spoke of your son.That's fine..Then you went on to say other people you were involved with /friends whatnot and the emotions were so strong that it went way over our heads.



  • confusedbyacancer>>5 days and no communication.. i guess it over for sure this time. Happy new year everyone!

    Sandran712>>Not necessarily..Now..if you have seen them online and ignoring you I would wonder.Unlike myself I've got an asshole Cappy he goes to a website we both are friends on..He is posting on a certain poster to get her attention.I really think it's funny.I do not see her responding to him.Men are nothing but a bunch of dumbasses



  • hello everyone. probably my case will sound familiar too. but still i want to ask personal opinions.

    i am seeing a cancer guy for 2 months. the situation started complicated since we belong to the same circle of friends and my recently become ex-bf too. i got to know the cancer guy with my back then still boyfriend together. but there was this feeling between us from the very beginning and we started secretly e-mailing and meeting. only as friends first, nothing happened until i broke up with my bf. but all the time he made me indirect or direct comments about how he thinks about me. like he wishes he had a gf like me, and that i am so unique and great and he has never met a girl like me etc. then going more straight like sending me texts how great he feels with me and pity im not single etc. my relationship was already quite bad and finally i broke up (not exactly because of cancer guy).

    we immediately got together. though we are still dating secretly till today not to hurt my ex. i told him how i felt about him, that i really liked him etc. he was amazing, hanging on me, wanted to spend a lot of time with me, he was surprisingly open (at least compared to what i read about cancer men in general about not trusting at first and hiding their feelings). i was over at his place every weekend for like a month. he told me all the time, he does not deserve me, i deserve much better, and how lucky and happy he feels with me. and that if i ever disappeared from his life he would feel heartbroken. etc. whenever we met he was hanging on me telling how beautiful i am, how much he missed me...

    and then after one month because of a small misunderstanding he totally shut me out for two weeks. then he was willing to meet again. but he is very different. we meet much less then before because he 'never has time'. but he is always telling that he will try to meet more, it never happens at the end. when we meet, he is still hanging on me, telling me i am beautiful, but since this 'problem', he never ever let me go over to him anymore. though when he is not able to meet me for a week he always tells he is sorry that he couldnt see me. when i say it is okay, he always says 'no it is not okay'. and how much he missed me etc.... still i feel that he does not want to meet me so much. once i broke down totally and wrote him a mail (impossible to talk to him in person about it). i told him that im not blaming him and im not angry i am just confused and very sad and i cant figure out, even so that i try hard what ive done wrong. and he sent me a textmsg. immediately telling that 'you havent done anything wrong, you are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time..."

    so i am really confused. much earlier comments on this forum makes me feel now, that i shouldnt wait for him anymore, cause he is just holding on to me until he gets a new one, but he doesnt really want me anymore... but then, can someone tell me why is he still recently telling me when we meet that he misses me and he is sorry and that i am the best thing that has happened to him? though he is not communicating with me too much about his feelings, his non-verbal actions, how he kisses me, how he holds me, how he looks at me... they all say that it is much more in him that just 'liking me'... it somehow makes me feel most of the times like he would really feel what he says but something is keeping him back... his huge sighs are like something would make our relationship impossible... and it has nothing to do with me... is he so afraid of getting hurt? or getting deeply involved? so low self-esteem? bad concious because of my ex-bf?

    can someone give me some good ideas or insight what can go on and what i should do? is it a good tactics to just hold myself back, so to say 'disappear' and wait?

    thanks in advance if i get any answer for my whining. he is really important for me, what he gave me at the beginning is hard to forget and step over it... so if there is anything i can do to save this... i'd love to...



  • Katie1982>> he so afraid of getting hurt? or getting deeply involved? so low self-esteem? bad concious because of my ex-bf?

    can someone give me some good ideas or insight what can go on and what i should do? is it a good tactics to just hold myself back, so to say 'disappear' and wait?

    Sandran712>>First of all...Cancers are very good with intuition.Only they feel you.If he gets around you and backs off..He is feeling your ex boyfriend in the picture.You do not have to say anything.He is feeding off of your feelings.His feelings for you are real.but, if he senses someone near you that you are not saying anything.He feels that you are keeping things from him.Cancers hate to be lied to.You don't always have to be honest about everything.But, asking him what the problem is and being honest.Even if it hurts.We can take hurt.But, we may run away to be alone to get over the hurt.



  • hi Sandran and thanks for you answer. a bit more to the story with my ex. the cancer guy is kind of a friend of my ex too. (since as i told i and my ex got to know him together). we (cancer guy and me) earlier when i was still in the relationship (which btw. lasted 5 years) talked a lot about my ex. he knew how bad my ex treated me and he felt sorry. he came along with me all the time while the process of breaking up. i am a very very emotional and probably too selfless person. so it was very hard for me to break up. i still love my ex as a person, nothing as a man. and we talked with cancer guy a lot about it. i mean i told him straight more times that i feel very sorry for my ex for hurting him with the break up, but i know very clearly without any doubts that i want to break up, that i did not love him anymore and that i have feelings for him (for cancer guy). even with the having to be secretly involved with each other... i told him it makes me sad. and he said he knows but that it is still worth for him to be with me. (he agrees with keeping it secret from the very first moment, so that cant disturb him) and to add to it, my ex was living with me in my country, but he is a foreigner, so when we broke up, he moved home into another country. so he is not around at all.... i thought this might solve problems but didn't, he is still 'distant'. he told things earlier like "why dont you take your cat and your laptop and move here to me." or when i told sometimes i could take a day off and be with him, he said i should not do that, cause he get too used to me... so all these things are so evident for me. i mean what he feels, still there is this not understandable wall standing between us now... why? and when we are together with the friends, i see how he observes me, how he looks at me etc. everything shows his feelings did NOT change... then why cant things be simple? i mean why is he telling great things to me but still avoids seeing me often? and with my ex... what would be the solution if he feels like he is still in the picture? what can i do? i mean i'm already sooo sad and i just cant be positive and think that one day if im patient (and i am a really patient person) he is going to "change back" how he was before... and im not keeping anything from him... i asked once too, that if he had any problems with me, would he tell me? and he said no, because he is not like that. and i got sad, cause from that i deducted that he DOES have problems with me. and when he saw that i got sad, he started to hold me strong and kiss me etc. and then just said: "it is not that you did something wrong...but lets talk about it another time..." and since then, we never talked about it. whenever we separate after a meeting and he cant bring me till my bus or taxi, he begs me to send a textmsg or something that i got home safe etc. that shows for me that he cares...

    i'd be happy to read from you all more advice or hints. cause IF it is worth, if you guys think that he is into me and this problem will/can be solved, i am willing to wait in the silence or do anything that has to be done. if it is not his emotions fading away, but a problem that i dont know... i am really patient and it is worth for me to wait as long as it is needed.

    BUT if you all feel that he simply lost interest, he is just not willing to tell it yet... i wanna start to take my heart out of it, cause i am already really really hurt....

    thanks again for replying... any cancer men wanna give an advice too? would be appreciated...



  • Sandra712: Actually he has been online and I am the one who has not made myself visiable. For some reason I am nervous about what will happen if I appear :(. Thanks for your advise!



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  • keldjoran>>It's only been 5 days?? lol You need more patience if you want to deal with a Cancer, 5 days is NOTHING! Now if it were say a month and you haven't talked, then that's something to worry about

    Sandran712>>I wonder what all these ladies are whining over a week or 2.I've been played by a McNasty Ho Cappy for 6 months now.

    He's getting my emails..I've tried to be nice and you know what happens when a Cancer gets ignored and played..



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  • keldjoran>>Haha, go give him h*ell 🙂 I know how it is

    Sandran712>>I'm blessed to be a Cancer because I can crack 2 nuts with both claws at once...LOL



  • Sandran-you said concerning cancers posting pics,"A mature one would never post anything harmful on the net" Well, the pictures he had of me weren't harmful, just normal pictures with me and him together with his arm around me. So I thought he didn't post it because he didn't want his friends or family to see this or know about me...well, his dad knows now, and I have a history with his father. What you said about crqacking nuts is funny haha..cancers have a sense of humor, don't they?

    Confusedbyacancer-yes, keldjoran is right, 5 days is nothing! I used to freak out when I didn't hear from my cancer for 3 or 4 days but now I am much more patient now that I understand cancers more.Helps me from getting too attached.



  • luazinha>>didn't post it because he didn't want his friends or family to see this or know about me...well, his dad knows now, and I have a history with his father

    Sandran712>>Sorry I gave you misinformation.But, at least you weren't in a compromising position like riding bareback on a saddle cracking a bull whip...LOL



  • Sandran712>>>5 days is nothing! I used to freak out when I didn't hear from my cancer for 3 or 4 days but now I am much more patient now that I understand cancers more.Helps me from getting too attached.

    Sandran712>>I have been corresponding to the Cancer dumbass.LOL..Our emails are finally reaching each other.This is the Cancer classmate.Hope I ain't sorry 2 Cancers together.I am curious tho.I do not know much about a Cancer male.And this is a learning experience for me.We used to be not real close friends in 7th grade.When you hang around different crowds you really don't see the grass is green on the other side..LOL



  • sandran-I wouldn't be caught dead with a picture like that of me being taken!

    Didn't you say this cancer was a dumbass? What made him a dumbass and why would you want to correspond with him?



  • luazinha>>Didn't you say this cancer was a dumbass? What made him a dumbass and why would you want to correspond with him?

    Sandran712>.I was calling him a dumbass because while I corresponded with him I thought he was really ignoring my emails.I did not think he actually answered them and I was not receiving what he wrote.Now..I cannot call him a dumbass.I am the dumbass...LOL



  • Well at least he wasn't a dumbass. How do two cancers do in a relationship? Do you go in your shell together or separately? How do you handle the double moodiness? Do you play games with eachother?


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