Cancer and Cap, will he ever forgive me?

  • So I dated a Cap male for a while and just fell into him from the start. We broke it off once and then he came back, now I have damaged the relationship by making a mistake. I simply was very emotional. I have asked for forgiveness and he still hasn't answered. I tried to call him and he won't answer. So, I'm wondering if this is it and he has no desire to speak to me ever again or will he eventually come back and forgive me? I forgave him once, why doesn't he reciprocate? I am interested in someone doing our chart as when we are together it's bliss.

  • Cancercutie, What did you do?

  • it depends on what you have done. I am married to Cap male and since the beginning he made it clear what he can tolerate and what he can not. These people are not exhibitionist, they don't show much feelings and emotion, so thread carefully if you really love him. for they can be unforgiving and they will pick the right time to strike back. they can be quiet or showing no sign of anger but inside they are waiting for the right time to do it. He may show he loves you now and he will marry another tomorrow, for example. they are cardinal sign, they change whenever necessary or maybe feel like it. since they are not emotional, matters of the heart will not take priority over work/money/ambition. therefore they can 'stop' loving someone just like that. you might think this is not possible since love is a strong feeling for you, but remember that in their case, it is not.

    having his heart doesn't mean you can walk over his rules. they always have rules, and being in love doesn't eliminate it. my hubby and I are very different love wise. when I love, I could let him walk over me and only stops him when I'm hurt or upset. when he is in love, he will provide and support me but i have to live within his rules and tolerance. there is no walking over him and his rules, I tried a little bit. being a leo I kind of jump into things just to see his reaction and wow dang it LOL enough to say I won't even try to do that again. I like Caps though, because their aloofness and go getter attitude. There is not much drama with him it's pretty much clear from the start if I want to marry him, he laid out who he is and how life is with him. It's been like that for all these years and I never regret it. It's kind of fun though testing the waters, but I try not to test it too far 🙂 good luck with yours. I hope this can help you understand him more.

  • I don't really remember it all and hat is part of the problem. Basically I showed up at his house after midnight and beat on his door and he wouldn't answer me. He sent me a text saying I was completely disrespectful and to leave before the police got there. I was really intoxicated, drugged, god who knows. But I did the typically crazy cancer thing and shot of all these really angry and nasty textx that I didn't mean and then sent him this email that even now I don't know what the hell I'm saying in half of it. Everything was going great until then and now he won't answer the phone, his text, nothing. I am so heart broke. I truley love him. I have never felt this way about anyone. I feel like I have been waiting my whole life for him and then by the grace of god he is there and I just do stupid emotional things because honestlt I don't know what to do with these feelings and I'm so crazy about him that I can't control these things.

    I have asked for forgiveness, no response, I waited 5 days until today and I had this huge presentation I had to give and a class on effective marketing for a huge corporation and the whole time I thought of him, no matter how hard I have tried to focus I cannot and I am just drowning. Anyway, I sent him a text saying I was sorry and I missed him, then another asking him what he wanted me to do. No response so I left a voicemail basically asking him that if he can't forgive me then I understand but he needed to let me know. It's eating me alive. How can I move on if I have hope the reason he isn't telling me he is done is because he isn't? We have had issues before and I forgave him but before hand I went off about what a ass I thought he was even though as every cancer on here knows, I was just hurt and defending my pride. He sent a text finally that said he was done and he didn't want anything serious. I blocked his number and deleted it from my phone, fully prepared to pick myself up and move on. Then all of a sudden a week later he is there at the bar and I didn't ignore him, I asked him if I should pretend I don't know him and he laughed. We stepped outside and talked and he couldn't believe I bloked his number... What did he expect he just broke up with me via text and totally broke my heart. Then all of a sudden he grabs me and kisses me and we are joking and everything is great again just like it was. He was so sweet and said all these things that night like that he had been as asshole and he was sorry and that he wanted to take care of me, all of this. And for 2 weeks everything was great until my blackout night.

    And honestly, I can't live without him, my heart knows this. I'm trying to be strong and just move on but every man I meet reminds me of him, every song reminds me of him. I'm physically sick over this. I can't get past this. It's been 8 days since my crazyness and almost 14 since I last saw him. I'm freaking out. I want to make him confront me but I can't because that would look even crazier. I just don't know what to do.

  • I hate to say it but it does sound like it is over.

    if you are not sure then keep trying to talk to him

  • If you can't just let it go, even though I assume you realize intellectually ,that he could not love you with the depth that you feel for him without needing closure. If you have done this kind of thing before, then respect him for not wanting to be with the kind of person that you seemingly are.

    Anyway, sit down and write him a letter. Snail mail, not email or text and say exactly what you need to say. If you are sorry for your actions then you need to say so. Don't be pitiful, just honest. Remind him that we have all made fools of ourselves in our lifetimes, and if he is this unforgiving then he apparently has some issues he needs to address, and perhaps will lose something of great value in his quest for the perfect woman.

    I just re-read what you wrote, and to tell you the truth if he thought you were out of your mind he should have opened the door for you,(if nothing else for fear you could be hurt somehow) He sounds like he had someone else there and did not want to have to discuss it with you. So he just made you out to be the crazy drunk and is "off the hook". Men like this don't like women who show up without notice, it kinda cramps their style if you know what I mean. I think he may not be the man you thought he was.

  • I considered a letter, but honestly I am done. I asked some of my guy friends what they thought and they all think the same thing, he is playing me. Obviously I fell for his trap and while I'm heartbroke I deserve loyalty from any lover. If he truly cared about me he would have at least told me he no longer wants to see me. His childish behavoir is more proof to me that while I thought for some time he was worthy of my love I now know he is not. People make mistakes, no human is perfect. If he cannot forgive me and see the good we had then that is his karma. I have been very forgiving with him and overlooked quite a bit of behavoir. I know he knows what it's like to be blacked out, as he has texted me after a night out saying he had no idea how he got home. He also has been in this state around me and was quite amuzing with some of the things he did, but I didn't take it personal, I knew he was drunk and loved him anyway. Maybe I am more forgiving, maybe a fool in love, regardless, I'm done.

  • ok cancercutie I wish you the best

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