Cancer men: Lots of female friends but no partners? Why?

  • There is this Cancerian man that I am interested in. He has lots of female friends but is single and has been single for quite a while from what I understand.

    I want to know whether this is a problem or issue that Cancer men have. I am a little curious as to why he is interested in me when he has so many female friends who he could be in relationships with.

    Thanks for your feedback 🙂

  • Are you sure you are out of the friend zone? You should maybe ask him what you are asking everyone on here.

  • I think you may be over thinking things. If you are interested in him and he you take some time to get to know him and weather or not you two can compliment eachother's lives. I'd be careful assuming that none of his "friends" are more then platonic, you don't know.

  • Asisgirl... My cancer man has many many female friends - I have known him for 10 years in a platonic way - we only got together half way through last year... We have busted up and gotten back together n these girls seem to want more from him - he NEVER gives it - I have spoken to them about it when I have been in the WORST moods over it telling them they can have him if they want him - they make out that he wants more but he has never touched them in any way shape or form - never made any move on them at all... As for me - well i never went out with him until the night we got together... So i am quite sure if he wanted to make a move he would have by now as they invite themselves out with him and have done so for a while and with me it was the very first night we went out... The other thing that makes me know that he really wants me is that when I crack up about it he doesn't speak to them for weeks - so I know I am the one he wants to be with... And I do know this... Even when there has been nothing for me to be upset with he still wipes them until I am ready to get over it... So I wouldn't really place too much importance on the fact that he has female friends - if he wanted to be with them he would have tried by now....

  • how do you know he hasn't and isn't dating some of his "friends" if he is single, he would be doing nothing wrong. Yes cancers do have many adoring "fans" but all of them aren't just silly, crazy, delusional chicks. I didn't date my cancer for three years but he asked me out after about 6 months, He claims that all of his old friends were just that, but he is a man and I am no fool. I personally don't think it is appropriate for a man who is suppose to be in a commited relationship to have tooo many women calling his phone it's not fair to his woman, and I asked my cancer to loose most of his friends recently, the only ones I don't feel right asking him to discontinue contact with are the ones he's known for over three years, who are willing to meet me. other then that I wouldn't swear by a man's word that he' not sleeping with a woman who seem to be smitten with him

    But it doesn't matter for arisgirl, if he is single and interested you can deal with the competition later.

  • I understand what you are saying but I do know this to be true in my situation... I have spoken to the woman - there is only 1... N she is crazy and delusional and about 4-5 ppl agree with that.. I would be definately stupid to think that somewhere in his long time female friends there isn't one he has slept with in the past - but I believe just that - it is in the past and if I let that bother me then I am the only one who is being hurt by it.... I don't feel comfortable asking anyone to not be friends with someone because I am uncomfortable with them.. He introduces me to everyone he knows - I know there isn't anyone else he wants to be with... I think you need to have a little faith in your partner - hard as it may be at times.. And if they are being unfaithful to you - you will eventually find out cause the truth always has a way of surfacing... There are no women calling his phone constantly at all...

  • Thanks for your comments. From the things we have done and the things he has shared I do know that we are more that just friends. This is definately not the type of relationship I have with other male friends. The first time we did anything he said it was 6 months since the last time (I was amazed) and that it had been a very long time since he had had a steady partner. What I am confused about is that he is attractive, intelligent, fun and sweet so I would definately expect him to be attached as was amazed to learn that he wasnt and that he had had so few woman (in a romantic way).

    He is a very sensitive guy and I have said and done the wrong thing a couple of times now. I give him space, get on with my really busy life and leave him be. But he always seems to come back to me. I dont have any high expectations of anything and am not at all intimidated by the other women. I myself am also attractive, intelligent and fun also and if he wants me thats great, if he doest then thats also fine.

    I just dont get how such a attractive, intelligent, fun guy has so many female friends but is not attached to any of them and that its be so long since he had anyone. I am a little taken by his interest in me when there are so many other female friends around him as you would expect him to be taken. And yes I do know he could have many woman on the go at once but why would he start telling me how long it was since his last time. All a little confusing to me.

  • maybe you have the elusive chemistry that he is searching for..... they seem to look for that - and I have not seen mine be the same way with any other woman other than me - even when he was with his last GF when we met, we still had it, n he didn't look at her the same way he looks at me...... But we never did anything about it... I could never ever do that to another woman.

    I know it is the same with mine he liked me for 10 years before I let him take me anywhere as I thought he would be bad news... We just always had this chemistry that EVERYONE could see - but I WOULD NOT go there as I had already made a judgement about him... Which was so far from the truth it wasn't funny.. Everyone would say "when you 2 get together" and I would just vehemently deny anything/everything n said I would never go there in a million years as it would never work... But here we are 1.5 years down the track and it is seeming to get better and better - even tho there have been a few downs but the ups more than make up for it 🙂

    There's not SO female friends many but there are enough... And he was 6 months before me too.... N I know hasn't seen anyone in the last 1.5 years... And I have investigated!!!!! Friends, family, friends, the girls themselves... etc... I am not one to be walked all over.... And in my childhood cheating has been an issue in every relationship I have ever known... So I am VERY weary of that kind of thing... And will NOT put up with it...

    I also don't put up with the retreats - at first he never ever retreated EVER now I just rip him from his shell and it seems to work... We have gone through a HUGE amount of stuff this year but I have never put up with that.... It has been one of the major issues over the last few months - it is not how you have a relationship... and seriously does my head in.... But i love him and we both keep on trying and that is all you can do really 🙂

  • hiprincess, I wasn't talking about your guy in particular, I was saying generally that single men who are surronded by women most likely have a romantic interest in at least one of them, NOBODY knew for over a year that me and my cancer were involved, because I think it's harder for a realationship to develop when co-workers and friends interphere. I do not assume which of his friends he has considderd I just don't believe that all of the women who surronded him were platonic. I don't judge him, and I feel comfortable telling him what I am comfortable with just like he feel comfortable telling me what he would like from the woman in his life

    There was a delusional girl who I know he had no interest in what so ever as well, I must admit I have had a laugh or two at her expense. But even if he was checking out other girls as long as he isn't in a commited relationship he is free to do so I am not or was not jelous of anyone I too am attractive and confident in my ablitly to attract men.

    I do think when you are in a relationship it is not ok for a bunch of women to be calling your phone, I asked also asked the guys who I know like me more then as a friend to minimize contact out of respect for him, I don't think it is unfair to ask that your partner trim the fat. I think it is only human

  • Oh sorry sexygem.. I completely misunderstood... That is one of my problems 🙂 And I do agree that it is not ok for a bunch of women who like our guys more than friends to be constantly contacting them... I completely agree with everything you are saying!

  • If I may a Cancer woman, I can fully understand how the mind of a "healthy" Cancer man works. Why? Because male or female Cancers are both nurturers. It is a feminine sign. Women LOVE men who are good listeners, sensitive, and caring. As a matter of fact, I think that most of their female friends are probably drawn to them because they are strong "father" figures, which attracts women who may not have had that. Yet, it does not mean that he is secretly attracted to her...but it may be the opposite. I recently ran across a "single" Cancer man on another online forum who is sort of a celebrity in his own right. Women are literally throwing themselves at him, but he is totally focused and has stated that he hasn't met the right woman yet, but she is in his heart. He is GORGEOUS and so very kind to everyone. I can see why women are drawn to him.

    I feel that it is better to look at a person's individual chart to find the answers. Like I said, some Cancer men are exceptional, but there has to be more to their ability to remain unattached than just their sun is in their blueprint. AND...I feel that they are very likely seeking a deep soul connection and not just shallow admiration. It depends on how healthy and balanced they are, as well as their confidence and self-worth. Lastly, maybe they have been there, done that concerning dating many women and are now looking for something promising...

  • So they remain celibate, indefinately? Incredulous to me. I know there are exceptions but most single men have at least one friend with benifits for cold lonely nights where good conversation is just not enough. As far as the exceptions may go, astrology has nothing to do with one who has chosen a path so hard, usually there is a religious factor. Most adult men are sexuallly active weather they are in a commited relationship or not, is all I'm saying. And those cancers with the good listener, father figure, best friend mojo have plenty of women throwing it at em and no reason to resisit the temptation.

  • You just answered your own question...the key word is "most" not ALL. Believe it or not, there are extraordinary folks out there. In fact, I put myself in that category because I am the female opposite of the male being described here. I have no friends with benefits either. Nor am I tempted to sleep around, I sincerely want to wait for the right person. If he never shows up, I am OK with that. I have plenty to do and put my energy into. Maybe astrology itself is not the reason, but karma is. And yes, it is in my blueprint...or KARMA REPORT...I am spiritual, not religious. There are men out there that are able to be celibate, just as there are women. It is no different. We should never put people in a box. As far as the path being hard, it depends on the skin you are in. It is easier for some to abstain...maybe you are projecting your own feelings onto others. But remember, we are unique and individual...

    And as I said, maybe some men have been there done that and suffered greatly. Maybe they have trust issues. And quite possibly, they are simply disciplined enough to focus on other things until they meet the right person. There are plenty of scenarios that could apply here.

  • atirro42 - thanks for your wonderful insight - it completely makes sense! I know my cancer has been hurt extremely badly in the past and I think you are dead on with what you are saying... I am also sure he is just waiting for me to do the same but the more I don't the better it gets 🙂

  • Hiprincess,

    You are so welcome...

    Relationships can help us find our true, "higher selves". Keep being positive and two of you will have a wonderful journey together, and no matter what the outcome may be, he will always remember your kindness. It is all about learning, growing and spiritually evolving....Thank you for your reply!

  • @ atiro42 Women often and frequently hold off until they find mr. right, that is no suprise. Most women are not into casual sexual relationships with men who they would not consider as potential mates, your abilty to hold out is no suprise, I went for 2 years without it, wating for the right guy at one point, 1year at another and have often gone for months without it, because we are designed a little different then men.

    Would I assume that a guy with tons of women who adore him is doing the same thing? I'd be a fool to so.

    Yes there are exceptions but I would not assume someone is OR judge him if he wasn't. How can you vouch for a man's celebcy unless you know him, and I consider spiritual and religious to be one and the same, it's being on a level of conciousness that makes us able to reach beyond our natural tendencies, spitiual/religious people often tell you about their spirituallity and reasons for celebecy early on because it is important to them, if this guy had mentioned spititual reasons for his self deprivation there would be no reason to wonder why he had all the female friends, and still no one to cuddle with.

  • I just read the comment that I may be projecting my own feelings onto others, I think maybe that's what you are doing, I'm just being realistic. As for me personally I have been in nothing but long term relationships, I do NOT have casual sex, I have been engaged twice, married, and I have been with only 3 men in the last 10 years. Don't assume that I am promiscuous, just because I find it hard to believe that a man is not celibate.

  • And let me also say I NEVER said he was not celibate, I said SHE DIDN"T KNOW, I said I don't know, but wouldn't assume they were ALL platonic friends.

    I don't know this man, what or who he is doing, if anyone.

    If he is single it is his coice to be celibate or not, if I was interested in him, weather he was or wasn't wouldn't change how I felt about him or the potential of our relationship.

  • Update.....

    I have got to know my Cancer guy even more. He has dropped hints about his sexuality and the stuff that hes into over the last 9 months. However, it is only in the last few weeks that I have really 'got him' and understood him. I know it's not everyones taste so please dont judge whether you think his tastes are right or wrong. If it's not your thing thats ok, just dont disrespect us for me sharing this. He is a typical cancer man, very sensitive, emotional, intelligent and masculine. However, he is into what I would call kinky sex. He likes to take the submissive role, wear femine attire etc, with a bit of B & D. I have done a lot of research into these things and they are actually very common with men. However most men will go their wholes lives and not share these fetishs with anyone not even their wifes after 20 years of marrige. Being into these things is not something that you decide to be into or not, its just how you are wired. It's not socially acceptable therefore men like him struggle to be truely honest with themselves.

    So I feel quite special that he dicided to share these things with me, not knowing how I would react is quite a brave thing. Knowing this helps me understand him so much more. He is a very sweet, emotional, successful, masculine man. Because of this he is very intouch with his femine side as I would expect most Cancer men are. Therefore he has many female friends because he understands them and has a connection. Men with this sexual orientation are also very intouch with their femine side that taking on the submissive (femine) role is much more natural to their nature than the dominant (masculine) role. I am very open minded and just because something is not mainstream it does not mean that it is normal or natural to some.

    Therefore, this is why I think he has many female friends but no partner. He has not found that person that he can completely open up with, someone who accepts him as the person he is. I guess it's true that the Cancer man is looking for someone who 'gets him'.

    Thanks for not judging on his interests, I just wanted to share another dynamic to what may be going on with some men.

  • I'm a cancer female, single, with tons of guy friends. From my perspective, it's security. We look for emotional security. I always have a male to talk to about things and help out with man stuff but have no ties to them other than that. He is probably on the other spectrum, plus we are great conversationalist in any field, and we love politics and religion

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